"You're not happy." She stated confidently. I sat in silence as she rocked Lucia in her arms. "I'm willing to bet you haven't been in a while."
I didn't answer, I covered my face with my hands and shook my head.
"I'm just a little stressed is all." I smiled, taking Luci from the old woman.
"Unhappiness will kill you faster than stress. Don't neglect yourself, sweetheart. Your health is just as important hers." She advised as she walked me out.
Don't neglect yourself.
The conversation with the daycare owner kept replaying in my head for weeks. Outside of Eva, no one truly knew how unhappy I was. This old lady has only known me for about a month and managed to blow my whole operation. She saw right through me, just like Lucien. It took me back to one of his voicemail rants.
Harper, it's me. Don't ask how I got your number, that's not important. Ignore me for the rest of your life, I don't care, I just need to know you're taking your medicine. I really don't need my child having a fucked up mother, driving into the ocean type shit. Tell me right now, and I'll get custody papers drawn up and pay for you to get help.
Look, I know you want nothing to do with me. Just take care of yourself, the baby needs the best you. She'll have no one else.
After that, I started looking into apartments. I never called to ask how he knew I was on medication. It never dawned on me how much of a stranger Luci's father still is. Granted, I never wanted to know him, there's no need to know your one night stand's favorite color or family history. I decided fairly quickly that if Luci ever asked, I would claim immaculate conception.
I pulled Luci closer as the crisp fall air nipped at my skin. She was decently covered in a coat and blanket. She snuggled in closer as I walked to my car. I needed to go to campus to check on my grades. Though I had to take a year off, I was still on track to graduate fairly early. It also helped that my professors adored Luci and often encouraged me to bring her with me.
"Hi Ms. Harper and little Luci, how are you today?" Professor Whitmore cooed. He was a little over fifty and had two children. One died from an accidental overdose during surgery, the other decided to travel the world with his husband. Whitmore attached to me immediately, he often referred to me as the daughter he always wanted and Luci as his only grandchild. He said he saw a lot of his wife in me; "a stubborn yet caring girl with the world on her shoulders". I never saw what he saw in me.
"What are your plans for the holidays?" He asked, bouncing Luci gently.
"Nothing really." I shrugged.
I didn't have a family, so it was useless to plan anything for the upcoming holidays. It was hard not to become the woe is me girl. The only family I've had in the past four years was Eva. She was the only one who seemed to genuinely want me around. Sure, I got the pity invites, but I knew they weren't genuine. They felt bad because I'm an orphan with a baby and no time. I refused to let my child become a charity case before she can even walk.
"You know, Fulani would love to see you two. She's been dying to cook for you." He smiled softly.
"That sounds so tempting, but I think it's time for little Luci and I start our own traditions." I blushed awkwardly. He nodded in understanding.
"Very well, my offer will always stand." He said honestly, handing Luci to me. I nodded. "Next week should be your last week with me if your paper checks out."
"Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Whitmore." I grinned, gathering my things.
"Happy Thanksgiving, you two." He gave me a side hug before I exited the office.
___
I worked a little more with the holiday season coming up. People were desperate for Thanksgiving and Christmas photo outfits. I had no idea that people actually took family photos in real life. Eva's did during reunions, but it was never a solid thing. Even Kenya was on the hunt for matching outfits. I played with the idea of doing some with Luci.
I'm supposed to be starting traditions, right?
I made a mental note to ask Kenya where to go to get them done. She suggested I go with her family. To say I was apprehensive was understatement. I didn't want them to feel obligated to include me. Instead, I offered to meet them there so Luci and I could leave whenever.
"Don't you ladies look cute!" Kenya gushed as we entered the studio. I smiled politely as Luci wiggled.
"Thank you. You guys look great, too." I replied. She wore an emerald green skater dress with a silver statement necklace. Her guys wore matching red and green striped shirts. They were just as coordinated as me and Luci.
"Alright, so who wants to go first?" The photographer asked. She was a gorgeous girl, randomly placed tattoos, smooth brown skin, and bright blue hair. Her lips were full and pink and her eyes had a feline flair to them. She was definitely Eva's type, maybe even mine.
"You can go," I offered. "I know the guys are itching to get out of those."
"They'll stay in them forever just to stay on my good side." She winked as she grabbed her son's hand.
Kenya, Covi, and Koven posed together happily. They genuinely looked like they enjoyed each other. The perfect family. I held Luci close to me.
I'll get that one day.