Chapter 39 – When We Wake
Weaver
I woke up in my cave. I felt the weight of my wings on my shoulders and the delicious warmth and softness of Selene in my arms. I gazed at her. Her eyes were still closed and I didn't want to move and wake her. I was content to gaze at her and let her sweet scent fill the emptiness that had lurked in the darkness for so long.
But the clock was ticking. Mother was waiting for my answer and she was not the most patient of gods.
But Zeus, how should I go about this?? Should I reintroduce myself? Icelus. Deity. 3,027 years old. That sounded ridiculous even in my head.
Perhaps I should begin with something easier to process. I had heard her from the other side. She was distressed when she'd thought I'd imbibed enough liquor to kill a man. I was not happy with Francis' methods. I had not wanted to upset Selene. But to hear her extremely concerned—to know that she cared was enough for me to forgive Francis for his injudicious ploy.
How would Markus do this? Hi, moon goddess. Good news: I'm not a dipsomaniac. Better news: I'm a god. Best news: I'm yours.
I cringed. I doubted I'd be able to pull that off without retching in my mouth.
Selene shivered. The draft from one of the tunnels was extraordinarily chilly. My shadows had been eager to torment a dreaming senator—their favorite—the moment we returned to this realm. It appeared they were also attempting to impress Selene. She huddled closer to me and my wings instinctively enveloped her to keep her warm.
Pellets of frozen rain hit my back followed by a man's agonized scream. The blasted exhibitionists were overdoing it and I worried their victim might never wake. I turned my head toward the particular tunnel and growled, "Enough."
The hail stopped though it remained frigid in the room. It was fortunate that I could keep Selene safe and snug and...
Wide awake.
Big forest green eyes were staring at me.
"Ice? Had I passed out while kissing you?" she asked, red spots coloring her cheeks.
She was yet to take account of her surroundings. I, however, could no longer procrastinate. The clock was ticking. I gently released Selene from my embrace, pulling my arms and wings from around her. I stood from the bed, and with my eyes on hers, I took a deep breath and stretched out my leathery wings.
Selene's eyes grew wide as she scrambled to her knees and whispered, "Am I dreaming? Is this not real?"
"Yes, you are dreaming. But no, this is real." I reached out a hand toward her and said, "Let's take a walk, Selene."
Slowly but not hesitantly, she took my hand. She looked around her as she stood in front of me. Then her fingers lightly traced the edges of my wing. I trembled in pleasure. Her touch was pure bliss. I wanted to drag her back to my bed, but there were things to discuss and a decision to take.
Selene looked into my eyes and smiled. "This was how I'd always pictured you."
Was it possible for her to accept everything so easily? Or did she simply believe this were a dream? Unerringly, it was her dream and my reality.
One step at a time.
We entered one of the warmer tunnels that had a recognizable gargoyle by the entrance and stepped out into her glade. The little cyclones welcomed their mistress and a flying rodent landed on my shoulder.
Selene grinned at me. She was home. And her home was in my world. As that thought crossed my mind, I pondered if it were possible.
She pulled at my hand and similar to a child rousing early on Christmas morning, she showed me the wonders of her universe. I laughed and indulged her as I'd always envisaged doing. It felt wonderful to finally explore her world openly and not spy while hiding in the undergrowth.
We traversed her dreams—past, present and future. Selene showed me every creature she'd conjured the past decade from the tiny, winged hound that stayed perched on my shoulder to the imposing fleshless unicorn I'd easily related to.
Selene frowned as she scouted the area, searching for something. "Ever evasive," she murmured. "I wonder where that beautiful beast is..."
Then her eyes landed on my wings and her eyes brightened in comprehension. She shook her head as she smirked. "I should've known. That was you."
I nodded. Selene had always known. She was a true seer and even I couldn't hide from her.
We continued walking and we stumbled upon the ubiquitous characters of Team Genesis. We watched a scene where the ill-fated Penance was surrounded by the artificially enhanced soldiers led by the flawless Gabriel Hamilton.
Now that I could copiously assess the fictional commander, I confirmed that he was based on Markus. I gritted my teeth as I conceded this fact. Jealousy tasted a lot like coffee. "You were infatuated with him. He does have the confidence I lack."
Selene appeared surprised to see me glaring at her general. Then she told me, "I don't know why you think that, but Hamilton isn't the hero of the story."
I frowned, confused. How could that perfect specimen not be the protagonist?
Selene pulled at my hand, making me look at her, and repeated, "Hamilton isn't the hero of the story. The one you had inspired is."
She raised a hand to my face and said, "I love every version of you. Man or beast. In reality and in my dreams. I love you, Ice."
My heart thudded against my chest. If I kissed her now, I would not be able to stop. Nonetheless, I pulled her to me and enclosed her in my wings. I unfurled my wings and we found ourselves in the beach where she'd frolicked in her youth. A happy place.
It was time to tell her.
I gestured for her to sit on the pillows under the shade of palm trees. Her hands sifted the fine sand and I was momentarily distracted. I folded my legs and sat in front of her.
"Selene."
Her hand stilled and she looked at me.
"Remember what I told you? That this is a dream, and this is real?"
She nodded her head, but then said, "I know this is a dream. I wish I would remember every bit of it when I wake. I would tell you about it when I wake."
"You wouldn't have to," I told her, "Because this is real. And I would remember every bit of it even if you forget."
"I'm not sure I understand."
I told Selene. I told her about my reality and my family, my dreams and my nightmares, my sins and my sentence. I told her about my mother and the choices I was given. She absorbed everything in silent astonishment as her fingers drew lines in the powdery white sand.
Then I told her my decision.
I unfolded my legs and kneeled in front of her, my wings scraping the granular sand. I held her hands in mine and said, "I am in love with you, Selene. And I choose to be with you. I choose to be with you as a man, a mortal."
Selene didn't say anything but just looked at our hands. I was starting to feel anxious. "Selene, please say something.
She stroked the back of my hand with her thumb. I shuddered in ecstasy. Then she asked, "Is Ice short for Maurice?"
I was surprised she didn't know. I told her my brothers' true names, but I had skipped mine. Another lesson in humility. I shouldn't have assumed all mortals knew of our existence. Not that it mattered. Once I had resolved to be mortal, Icelus would cease to be.
I shook my head no.
"Bryce?"
"No."
"Icarus?"
I scowled. "Close, but I don't appreciate being compared to a silly, scrawny boy."
Then Selene laughed. "You're being silly, Ice. Icelus—your title among gods. Though I prefer the name Phobetor, the personification of nightmares."
I smiled. She knew. Of course she knew.
"The god of nightmares," she mused. "Show me."
My shadows immediately swooped in, eager to show off. Granted that the gloom fed off my imagination, it was amusing to make them appear they had a mind of their own. Although sometimes, they did seem to have a mind of their own. Thanatos had told me that was caused by my own unhinged emotions.
The serene setting transformed into a boiling river with decapitated heads and mutilated appendages floating to the surface. The stench of stewing decayed flesh filled the air. I had to confess it stank worse than coffee.
I looked at the girl standing beside me. She had covered her mouth and nose with her hand, but she didn't look scared or disgusted. Rather, she looked entertained.
That poked at my ego.
I summoned the Empusa in her most grotesque form. She appeared a massive, slimy snake with huge, pointed fangs in all her mouths, one in her head and the rest on random points along the length of her glutinous frame. Acid sizzled from each opening as the Empusa devoured every body part in her way. She was ravenous and the rotten limbs were not enough to satisfy her hunger. She headed our way.
I had not expected things to get out of hand. Selene would not be injured in real life, but she would feel the pain if she thought what was happening was true. I turned to Selene just in time to see her reaching out to touch the Empusa's hideous head.
At the touch of Selene's hand, the Empusa instantaneously transformed into a woman with flaming red hair. But not before one of her revolting jaws painfully bit my wing.
Tartarus! Was Selene making friends with the Empusa?? It seemed my girl didn't scare easily. It was time to find out her worst nightmares. I extended my wings and with one strong beat, cleared the site. No bubbling river, no decomposing limbs and no traitorous fiend turned friend.
I sieved through her memories. Her terrors. Aha!
I brought Selene to a hospital. There was a man lying on the bed. He was surrounded by several equipment and multiple wires were attached to his body. There was a woman standing next to the bed and she was wailing terribly. Had it not been for a young girl supporting her, she would've crumbled to the ground. The girl's green eyes looked very sad even though she was telling her parents not to give up.
Anyone else would've realized it was hopeless.
What had I done? I had recreated the worst day of her life.
When I heard her sobbing beside me, I cloaked her in my wings and brought her back to my cave. I was such an idiot!
"I'm so sorry, Selene. Forgive me," I begged her, my head bent.
She gave me a small smile as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "You're good at this," she said.
What? I didn't deserve recognition for my foolishness. I had allowed my pride to get the best of me again. When would I learn? I fell to my knees.
Selene dropped to the ground before me, too. "Hey, don't be too hard on yourself. I asked, remember?"
I nodded reticently. Selene was too good for me.
"But I have a question."
I looked at her, waiting. Fretful. Did she no longer want me now that she knew the monstrous things I'd done and could do?
"Who will weave nightmares if you go?"
I wasn't expecting that. Beautiful. Selfless. Selene was too good for anyone. But to me mostly. She recognized the value of nightmares.
"It doesn't matter," I answered gruffly.
"But..."
My wings closed around Selene and pulled her to me, my hands grasped her face and I kissed her like I'd been wanting to kiss her since I'd roused in my world earlier. Like I'd wanted to kiss her when she was still asleep in my arms. Like I'd wanted to kiss her when she regaled me with her conceptions and when she was entertained by mine. Selene kissed me back, put her arms around my neck and ran her fingers through my hair.
I gathered her in my arms and carried her to my bed. My voice hoarse with a thirst for her sweetness, I told her, "Let me show you what else I am good at."
And my shadows moved, showing her all manner of bliss a dream deity could offer.
**
It could've been minutes. It could've been hours. But this was no dream. This was my reality, my choice. I watched Selene as she nestled close to me. It was the warmest my chamber had ever been. Even my shadows were content and languid in the background after tonight's activities. The only thing that remained active and beating was my heart. It pounded with a combination of pleasure, passion and apprehension.
Selene yawned. I knew she was tired. I grinned because I knew why.
But my grin soon disappeared. I caressed Selene's face and told her, "Let's not sleep so we'll not wake. I fear I'll lose you when you wake up."
"You won't," Selene answered as she watched me, her hands unconsciously stroking my wings, sending the most delectable sensations down to my nether regions. "This can be real or just a dream, but I will look for you in the morning. We may remember this or not, but know that I will always love you."
I did not want to let her go. I did not want to sleep, but the moment Selene did, I knew I should, too. I gave her one last lingering kiss before I closed my eyes and appealed to the gods, "I pray we'll find each other on the other side."
**
A/N: I am so sorry for the delay, everyone. It's been hectic the past weeks. Work, family, health... you name it. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait :) Happy holidays! :)
Btw, that's one version of the Empusa