No one's pov
"You're not strong enough to be out of bed!"
"I have to see him!"
"Jungkook~"
"No! This is all my fault!"
The door bursts open. Jungkook takes one look at the motionless figure and falls to his knees.
He buries his face in his hands, his whole body rocking with the force of his sobs.
"This is all my fault!"
Sobs tear through his throat.
A Doctor comes rushing in with a large syringe filled with a tranquilizer.
Jungkook feels the small sting of the syringe in his neck. He begin to calm down until he collapses in the doctors arms.
They place him on a gurney and cart him back to his room.
Taehyung lingers at the door, tears running down his face.
"Get better soon Jin. He's breaking without you."
_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_•_
Sobs fill the still room.
"I'm sorry Jin. I should've thought more about you. If I hadn't been like that this wouldn't have happened..." Jungkook whispers through his sobbing.
Jungkook takes Jin's hand and holds it to his face, Jin is right there, but he's so far away.
"I miss you. Come back to me please."
I want to
"I'm breaking Jin. I don't know if I can make it without you. It's been four months...the doctors are losing hope."
I'm still here
"It's been a week with you off life support and you're okay. They're saying you might be able to hear me...wake up soon hyung. I love you."
Stay strong, I'm trying to fight it. I love you too
"It's been six months since the accident Jin hyung. Jungkook's getting worse...I don't know what to do for him anymore..."
Help him Tae, he needs you more than ever
"I miss you..."
I want you to be back in my arms. I love you so much. I'm fighting I promise. I'm not giving up
***•••***•••***•••***•••***•••***•••***•••***
Jungkook lies in the bathtub, mind going over then events of that night. It's been nine months since the accident and he still sees different ways the argument could have gone.
It would have been better if it was me, he thinks. The world would be better off without me. Jungkook pull of his shirt and tosses it over the side of the tub and grabs the razor lying on the side of the tub.
In the last few months, it's become his best friend again. Jungkook can't talk to Taehyung or Jimin anymore, all they do is pity him. He hates pity.
Jungkook looks down at his raw wrists. He scowls at the marks littering his wrists. He closes his eyes and drags the razor across his forearms, relishing in the way the emotions slip out of him like the blood seeps out of the cuts.
I could have saved him.
I could've told him that I loved him.
Why did I make it about me?
I'm selfish.
Should I just off myself?
No. That's selfish. Think about everyone.
Thoughts race through Jungkook's mind as he slices his wrists to try and chase them away.
Eventually he just drops the razor and watches the blood drip out of the wounds. He smiles slightly as he begins to numb. He's numbing to everything.
"Jungkook!"
"Jungkook where are you!"
Taehyung and Jimin burst through the open apartment door. They get no response from the broken boy.
They share a look and rush to the bathroom.
"Shit. Jimin call the ambulance, I think he's lost too much blood."
Jimin dials for an ambulance.
They sit next to Jungkook in the back of the ambulance.
"Hyung?" Jungkook's voice is raspy.
Both Taehyung and Jimin lean down to hear him.
"Is he happy? Where he is? Is that why he won't come back?"
Taehyung and Jimin share a look and turn to answer Jungkook but he's out cold on the gurney.
~~|~~|~~|~~|~~|~~|~~|~~|~~|~~|~~
"Hi Jin hyung!" Jungkook's voice rings clear.
"I'm feeling better now...but I'm sorry..." he looks away from his lover and down at his bandaged wrists.
"I promised you all those months ago that I didn't harm myself anymore," he feels the Tears prick his eyes.
"I couldn't help it though, I felt so alone and overwhelmed...it felt so nice to be numb!"
Jungkook reaches down and takes Jin's hand in his own.
"I hope you wake up soon. I miss you a lot..." Jungkook squeezes Jin's hand.
And Jin squeezes back.
+++•+++•+++•+++•+++•+++•+++
I'm sorry that I can't fix you Jungkook. I hope that you're getting better slowly.
I'm holding the darkness at bay for you baby...I want to be back in your embrace right now, but it's not time yet.
I just need you to hang in there a little longer...fight the darkness with.
Listen to your other hyungs, all they want is for you to stay strong and get better...you can do it.
I believe in you.
I need you to believe in you.
I need you to believe in me.
I believe in me.
I see us all the time, in the future.
In a house together.
With children.
And happiness everywhere.
We can make it through. I promise.
I love you Jungkook.
Hang in there a little longer.
T•T T•T T•T
"The famous YouTuber EatJin a.k.a Kim Seokjin has been in a coma for 18 months. The doctors are saying his brain is picking up its activity, that this is possibly a signal that he's going to wake up soon."
"In other news, his boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook has tweeted that he's doing a lot better after his near suicide a few months ago. He's getting professional help and he's recovering slowly, but surely."
-----------------------------------
"Hi hyung!"
Hi love
"I watched our favorite movie today!"
I wish I could've watched it with you
"I cried because I wanted to watch it with you..."
Don't cry
"I've been clean a whole month!"
That's good
"It's still hard sometimes but, but the doctors are saying that your body is waking up slowly!"
I can feel it too
"They say that you could wake up anytime now!"
I hope so
"Jimin hyung and I finished our final choreography for our examination! It looks really good!"
I'm sure it does
"If you're not awake by the time we have to perform, I'll ask Taehyung to film it for you okay?"
Okay
Jungkook reaches down to take Jin's hand.
I miss your warmth
Jungkook gives Jin's hand a long squeeze and pauses.
I love you
Jin squeezes Jungkook's hand back, tighter that Jungkook squeezes his.
"I'm glad your waking up!"
Me too Jungkook
Me too
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
"How do cows laugh?" Taehyung says to the two boys in front of him. Jimin and Jungkook roll their eyes.
"They go Moohahahahahaha!" Taehyung falls into a fit of giggles at his lame joke.
"Why do I put up with you again?" Jimin says rolling his eyes at his boyfriend.
"Cause you love him hyung." Jungkook says simply and smiles at the two.
"Okay, I've got one!" Taehyung says after recovering.
"What did one wave say to the other?"
The other two just shrugged.
"Nothing. They waved!"
Jungkook face palms.
The room falls into a peaceful silence. Jungkook intertwines his fingers with Jin's and strokes his hand.
Jin's hand twitches and Jungkook smiles.
"What did the English book say to the math book?" Taehyung's voice breaks the silence.
"I don't know hyung! What?" Jungkook says turning away from Jin.
"You've got too many problems." Taehyung freezes with his mouth open.
Jimin and Jungkook swing their heads to the hospital bed.
Tears begin to steam down Jungkook's face as he takes in the sight before him.
"You're awake!"
A/n
It's a vvvv long chapter.
I tried.
Enjoy?
Xx
P.s
The picture at the top was not edited. That was the actual color of the sky!!
Xx