"Sophie, I need you to translate something for me."
"From French?"
"From Irish."
"Gaelic?"
"No, Irish English."
"What? Look, start again but this time, I need some context."
"I'm with your father and brother. And the others, but right now, it's mainly your dad I'm worried about."
"Oh, ok. It's starting to make sense now."
"We're at the tailor's on Savile Row and your father is insisting that he wears a powder blue suit to the wedding. There was a lot of mumbling and a bit of swearing but I missed a lot of it because it was heavily accented English."
"What did he say?"
"I can tell you what it sounded like."
"That'll have to do."
"So, it went a little like this- Ill we waddle lie nah waya te me ta."
"Ok, here's the English- I'll wear what I like not what you tell me to."
"-Jimmy, you have to wear the same as the other.-"
<<Y'eejit. Nah, Iwe wa Iwa. T'rest we watchya we bah Imma we tiswan.>>
"-Right.- Sophie? Translate that, too."
"He said, 'No. I'll wear what I want. The rest of you wear what you are wearing but I am going to wear this one.'"
"Ok. -Jimmy, we're all wearing the same suit. Now, take that off or I'll have Sophie come down here.-"
<<Duh caer. Ya tellma gal to cah dahn. Imma we tiswan.>>
"Ok, I understood the last bit. Sophie, help."
"He doesn't care if I'm coming down. Tell him you're going to take a photo and send it to my mother."
"Will that work?"
"Like a treat."
"-James, take the suit off or I'll take a photo and send it to Camille.-"
<<Cha wudt da.>>
"He's saying that you wouldn't dare."
"Wait..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
<<Ah, feck.>>
"You took the photo, didn't you?"
"Yep."
"Brilliant. If you're sending it to my mum, send it to me, too."
"It's ok. He's gone to take the suit off. Honestly, not even Finn and Ewan were this impossible."
"Are they with you?"
"Yes."
"Is Ewan feeling better?"
"Full of the joys of life. He had another day off school today to continue his recovery. Or so he says. Finn, on the other hand, looks as if he's been dealt a death sentence."
"Poor kid."
"Hold on, Soph. -Yes, that looks so much better. That's the one, Jimmy.-"
<<Ilie tothaun beta.>>
"He liked the other one better."
"Tough. -Tough.-"
<<I dunlie cha neemo.>>
"He doesn't like you anymore."
"Shame."
"Now that he's in the right suit, do you still need me?"
"No, I don't think so. If he plays up again, I'll just send the picture to Camille."
"Ok. Well, have fun. Don't forget, Lucas needs a different coloured tie to the rest of you. As does my dad."
"It's already taken care of. It's been ticked off the list."
"Excellent. I'll see you in a while, crocodile."
"Later, 'gator."