Tris felt consumed by her new role. Or maybe it was just Eric himself. She would never let him see how much he made her squirm.
She'd always played down her looks. Being blonde, toned and with a girl-next-door face wouldn't have done much in her favor if she hadn't taken steps to curb the stereotype. She was smart, driven and sensible. Getting to be objectified had never been her thing. Yet now, Eric was making her conscious of everything about her image, her work ethic, her very self-control.
How she put up with him and his insufferable behavior she'd didn't know. No other assistants had to go through what she did with him. Sometimes, she had the strangest feeling he was pushing her to the wall, hoping she'd say 'fuck off' and leave. Part of her longed to do just that, just snap and lose that self-restraint she was so proud of. With a perfectly aimed kick to his torso or a resounding punch to his devilishly handsome face, she could then walk out of his office for good. But she knew she would never dream of doing that.
When he arrived to his office, he never bothered to acknowledge her. He had no problem showing his disapproval of her clothes whenever he chose to. There were occasions where he made her endure his examination, she would be instructed to stand in front of his desk, her hands placed behind her back, legs shoulder width apart. Then he would inspect her minutely and if satisfied, she would be told to return to her office. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had her coming in for work earlier than normal and sometimes, she was the last to go home.
On top of that she had to plan his meetings, and do any shopping that he 'didn't have time for'. There were the trips to other factions, as well, where she had to accompany him. Which she didn't mind, she got full briefing on what changes would be made and what was and wasn't working. And she always had to be available when he wanted an 'escort' to any social outing.
The more he pushed her, the tougher she got. Eric couldn't break her. She had a long history of having to fight for everything she'd earned. She was determined to be nothing like her underachieving parents who'd been the type to settle for Abnegation. Tris didn't want to sit back and 'accept' what life threw at her. She'd seize the future with hard work and dedication, not expect that life would hand her everything she deserved.
Winning Eric's acceptance was never going to happen. Even after months of working for him, she knew she would never get past his wall. No matter how hard she tried, there was no way he'd show her the appreciation she knew was due. She might as well wish for the moon before that happened. But more to the point, why did she even feel his appreciation mattered? This was just a job, and he was just her leader. Just another man who felt his power could make her feel like less than she was. Nothing had changed since initiation, he was still the cold 'scary' Dauntless asshole he always had been.
One thing she did let trouble her, was how it all affected her relationship with Four.
Three months after she'd started working as Eric's assistant, she returned to her apartment at the close of a hellish day. There had been deadlines to meet, meetings to schedule. She'd barely had time to catch her breath until she walked into her nicely furnished living room where she could relax.
But not for long. Four came storming in an hour later, his files in his hand and a furious look on his face. "Where were you?" he growled.
"At work," Tris said, eyes darting at his attitude. "Why, what's wrong? Didn't training go well?"
Four was at training all day, getting ready for the new initiates to show up, they were supposed to come tomorrow.
"It wasn't just training, Tris. The new initiates came today. I was the only leader there besides Lauren and you couldn't bother to show up, not even for one goddamn hour."
With that he huffed and left the living room, and Tris was torn by the need to give herself a facepalm or groan out loud in frustration. Shit! She'd forgotten all about The date. She'd honestly just forgotten. But only because she'd been so busy! She remembered she was stuck still working on compiling files and other tasks at hand while the new initiates came. No wonder Eric hadn't come to work today. 'Bastard, didn't even remind me. Some leader I am to forget huh,' she thought to herself.
"You didn't even call!" Four yelled angrily when she joined him in the bedroom, her expression apologetic.
"I'm so sorry, Four. Sometimes I'm at work and everything else just closes off. If I didn't do that, I'd go insane. You know what a slave driver Eric is."
Four's curvy lips curled bitterly. "Are you saying that it's just work? You're sure there isn't something more?"
"What else could there be?" Tris asked in genuine confusion.
Four let out an exasperated sigh, shoving a hand roughly through his dark hair. "This job of yours. Eric. Is there something I need to know about the two of you?"
Anger bubbled up inside of her when Tris realized what he was accusing me of. "What are you getting at, Four? What exactly are you suggesting?"
"What does it sound like?" exclaimed Four. "Look at you, Tris. Look how you've changed. Make up always perfect, you're wearing more revealing shirts than you've ever worn. Your pants are tighter. Hell Tris, even your underwear is more sexy. You put in more effort for him than you ever do for me. You won't hardly even let me see you in as much as you're wearing right now!"
She looked down at her get up, Tris was in a short sleeve t-shirt that, admitting, was cut pretty low, lower than she was normally comfortable with, but hadn't thought of it. Her
Ants were tight, they might as well have been leggings, and she was wearing black Nike running shoes rather than combat boots.
"He requires it of me," Tris said, hating the blush that swept over her cheekbones. "This wasn't my personal choice."
"Your underwear?" Four scoffed. "Can't you see he's grooming you into the perfect woman for him? If you're too blind to read the signs, I'm not! I know exactly what's going on."
"Four, you've got it all wrong. Now you're assuming things. He doesn't even notice me! He's just a slave driver control freak, you know how Eric is."
"Yeah, I do know who Eric is. He hates my guts, Tris, and you best believe he will do anything to piss me off. Now tell me he doesn't have more power over you than you're letting on. This is more than just a leader-assistant thing now.. He wants you, Tris. For all I know, you want him too. How long do I have to compete with him?"
Now that made her stop short. "I don't know what to say," she breathed. "I never...it didn't occur to me that you felt this way. I'm sorry I missed the initiates coming today. I'm sorry I work too much. But the lasting benefits from this are huge! We are never in the dark anymore. Life is going so well for us now and I thought..."
"No, it's not going well," Four interrupted. "I want my girlfriend back. The Tris I've always known wouldn't let someone push her around. I've always supported your goals of becoming a full blown leader, you know this but not if it demeans you the way he does. It's getting out of hand."
Tris chewed on her lip. "I'll get some time off. I'll find a way to make more time for us. I'll admit I've been so focused on work I haven't realized how much our relationship is suffering."
"Sometimes, I wonder if it's him you're thinking about," Four said with softness to his voice, closing the distance between them as he stared deep into her eyes. "When we make love I feel like your mind is off somewhere else. With someone else. It's like you're under a spell."
Tris blushed. How could Four even begin to say that? He was implying that she secretly had the hots for Eric. That she even fantasized about him. That was such bullshit! She hated Eric! If he was someone she had met in different circumstances, and if he wasn't really a brute in real life, then maybe she might have had a crush on a man like him. But for Four to even imagine that she'd be thinking of Eric while they had sex. It was all bullshit!
"I love you, Four," Tris said as a matter of fact, cupping his face and staring into his eyes. "It's you I want to be with. I can't even stand Eric. He's nothing like you. He doesn't make me all warm and gooey inside the way you do."
No, Eric made her feel hot, and then cold. One look from his dark, daunting eyes and something strange woke within her core. A brush of his hand would make her jump like she was electrocuted. He would pass by her and his musky cologne made her senses go wild. He never smiled, but she wished he would. She wished he'd say one word, just once, about how she looked or how well she'd carried out her tasks. None of that ever happened. But it didn't stop her from being aware of every little thing about him. The way his shirts and pants always fit him perfectly, the blonde faux hawk style which he wore his hair, his piercings, his tattoos both on his arms and his neck, with lips so perfect they looked too good on such a cold man.
Oh shit. Tris embraced Four tighter to hide her inner turmoil. Was he right? Had she mindlessly started to fall for Eric? God, why was she still thinking about him.
That was an insane assumption. She'd figure out a way to show Four that there was nothing she felt for Eric. He made her so mad at times she couldn't see straight. How could she desire a man like that? None of her feelings for Eric should give her boyfriend any cause for concern. And soon, she'd find a way to prove it.