There was dirt in my mouth. I could see colours. There was red and there was blue. The colours were flashing. A figure kneeled in front of me. Everything was blurred I couldn't make out exact objects. Suddenly, everything became clear and I vomited.
"Miss? Can you hear me miss?" asked the figure. It was a police officer, I could tell by the uniform. He called over someone else. This one was a woman and she looked like a doctor.
"Okay sweetie, can you squeeze my hand for me?" she asked.
"Okay good. Now just follow the light with your eyes," she shined a torch in my face. She checked my heartbeat, looked down my throat and asked me to move all my limbs.
"She seems to be fine Doug," she said to the police officer. "Her vitals are good, I'd say she collapsed of pure stress. She has a few scrapes and cuts, which I'll clean up now, so you can take her to the station. Tell her guardian that they need to rest her for tonight and visit a GP tomorrow moring."
"Thanks Joan," said Doug.
The station? Am I being arrested? I thought this over, trying to remember what happened before I had passed out. Doug spoke to me while the woman cleaned me up.
"Now, Jessica is it? Due to the recent incidents, we will need to take you down to the police station for questioning, do you understand?" I nodded.
"Do you have any questions?" Doug asked me.
"Where's Adam?" I heard myself say.
"Adam Westaway? His injuries were significantly more serious than your own, he was taken to the hospital. He will also be asked to give a statement on what happened." Seeing my stricken expression, he softened.
"Don't you worry about him, now! Our instructions were to take you to hospital after you have given your statement. I'll take you down to the station now."
"Can't I just tell you here?" I asked.
"Sorry hon, it's protocol."
*********
I'd never been to a Police Station before, but this was nothing like they had on 'Law & Order'. But then, I realised, I'm a victim, not a suspect. I was sitting in a chair in an average looking office, across a desk from an officer, not Doug but Cole this time. There was a camera in the corner and a tape recorder on the desk.
"Miss Simons, could you please run through the events of this morning?"Cole asked me.
"I arrived at school with my boyfriend, Adam Westaway. It was my first day back in a while, because not long ago I found out I was pregnant."
"Is Adam the father?" He asked, curious.
"Yes. He has been very supportive." I responded firmly.
"So what happened after you got to school?"
"We had barely walked in when Chelsea Hamilton and her friends started pressuring me for information, but they knew already that I was, anyway. Then Chelsea called out to everyone, telling them I was a slut and I was pregnant. I was upset, so I ran to the toilets, where I found Tiff-"
"Tiffany Woods?"
"Yeah, that's her. Anyway, I found out that she was the one who had told everyone, even though I had asked her not too. I felt betrayed and embarrassed, so Adam and I started walking across the oval to the carpark because we were going to go home. People started calling us names and throwing things at us. Harvey Chopper ran up behind Adam and touched him on the back and Adam pulled him off him, and I don't know, then Harvey was on the ground. His brother Blake came up, because he didn't like that too much."
"When you had sex with Adam, was it consensual? Did you both agree?" Cole asked soberly.
"Of course! What are you saying?"
"Was Adam the one who gave you those cuts Jessica? Did he hit you? Is he angry at you for being pregnant? It sounds like he has a violent personality. We can protect you Jess, if you tell us it was him."
"NO! Is that what you think? That Adam hurt me? He was trying to PROTECT me!"
"How did you get hurt then?" he asked doubtfully.
"As I was saying, Blake didn't like that, so he came up and provoked Adam and pushed him to the ground. He punched him in the nose and there was a lot of blood. I was screaming for help but that just attracted a crowd. No one was trying to stop it, so I did. I stood between them, but Blake just pushed me away, which made Adam kinda mad. Then I don't really remember much after that."
"Do you have anything else to add?" Cole sighed.
"No, that's all. That's exactly what happened. Can I see Adam now?"
********
"Jess!" Adam breathed as I rushed into the hospital room. He looked awful, all bruised and swollen.
I gasped, taking a closer look.
"You needed stitches?!"
"Seven," he replied grimly. "Are you okay? He pushed you, then you went all weird and collapsed. Your words were slurring and you kept screaming..." His eyes ran over me, analysing.
"I'm fine," I assured him. "So what happened while I was 'all weird'?" I asked as I sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Blake got really aggressive. After he pushed you I just...lost control. I just kept trying to get him as far away from you as possible, but there was a crowd and they made a really small circle. Every time I tried to see if you were okay he would pull me back. I managed to get to you once, and I was picking you up when he came from behind so I elbowed him in the nose. I think it might be broken actually...anyway, Harvey didn't like that much so he ripped some snap-lock binders out from a folder and came at me with it. That's how I got this one," he said, pointing to the stitches in his forehead. "It hurt a lot, but it bled more. I was yelling for someone to come or just for anyone to get you to the nurse. Someone must have listened or at least decided things had just gone too far, because soon after the police and ambulance arrived. You were still unconscious, I was really worried. The police got everyone settled and all that. I'm glad you're okay."
I smiled. "Where's Carol?"
"Oh she's here. She went to buy me some lunch down the street because she said hospital food has no nutrients. She's ready to sue the school, I tell you. She says that if they can't notice a fight that big until sirens appear they wouldn't realise the building was on fire until their own pants were burning!" Adam said with a smile.
"So, the baby's fine too then?" Adam asked.
I was shocked to realise I couldn't even answer that question. The Medic who had examined me didn't know I was pregnant. She didn't check the baby. Oh God, what if something had gone wrong? I hadn't even thought of the baby, what kind of a mother did that make me? In that instant, I knew we were making the right decision in choosing adoption. This baby deserved a mum that always put them first, unlike me.
Adam took my silence to mean something really bad had happened.
"Jess...I-" He started, but I didn't let him finish.
"I don't know about the baby. We have an appointment tomorrow with Dr Palmer. I suppose we'll find out then." I said quietly.
********
I would consider myself to be a patient person. Adam, on the other hand, was not. But as we sat waiting in the obstetrician room, we were as nervous, shaky and impatient as each other.
When Dr. Palmer finally came back into the room, I was incredibly frustrated with his lack of facial expression. His face was so neutral, it gave away absolutely nothing at all.
"I can confirm that Jess is still 9 weeks pregnant, however I will need to take you down the hall for an ultrasound to find more concerning the health of the baby." He said with authority.
We walked down into another room, and waited some more. The ultrasound technician was young and blonde. 'Oh great,' I thought to myself, 'We got the trainee'.
"Hi I'm Krystal!" She chirped. "I just need to put some of this on your belly..."
I gasped as she squirted some gel onto my stomach. FUCK that stuff is cold! Krystal smiled apologetically.
"So what we are looking for in this scan is some brain activity and hopefully a heartbeat."
She fiddled with the monitor and moved the scanner across my stomach until a picture appeared. I realised I had been holding my breath. That was my baby.
"So the growth is all in order, the baby is a little above average even. You can see there," she said, pointing to a limb, "that's a leg and it is a little longer than you would expect for a 9 week scan. We can see the brain has developed to what it should be at this stage. Now let's see if we can get a heartbeat."
She changed instruments, and pressed a new one against my belly. I strained to hear even the tiniest of thumps.
"Why can't we hear anything?" Adam demanded.
"Relax, I just haven't found the heart yet. At this stage the baby is so small, there are no specific positions. It can take a while to find the right spot."
She continued to move the microphone around for a few more minutes. I was really on edge now. Why couldn't we hear it?
"Oh my god!"Krystal said suddenly, "There seems to be a problem. Um, I need to get Dr. Palmer." She said, biting her lip.
No. This was bad. It was my fault, everything was my fault. If I had taken better care of myself, better care of the baby...
Dr. Palmer came in with an outraged look on his face. Was he angry with me? I've been so stupid! He was probably going to tell me I killed it. I killed my own baby!
"I'm sorry." Dr. Palmer said. NO! No, no, no, no! I started to sob.
"Krystal has failed to provide Duty of Care. She did NOT alert to you that there is a very small chance of getting a heartbeat at the 9 week ultrasound. I understand that she led you on to believe otherwise, before she had the facts straight. She did NOT check the previous scans and she did NOT look for brainwaves activity. I apologize for what she has put you through, and I am pleased to report that in fact your baby is perfectly healthy."
I could breathe. My baby was healthy. I was healthy. Adam was healthy. We were all fine. Finally, I could breathe freely.
Dr. Palmer left the room and I heard him yelling at Krystal through the paper thin walls.
"ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.....IF SHE'D THOUGHT THE BABY WAS DEAD SHE MIGHT HAVE STARTED DRINKING, SMOKING...... THE BABY THAT WAS ACTUALLY ALIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE...DID YOU EVEN THINK? ....COULD HAVE SUED US!"
Adam hugged me fiercely, and I held on to him tight. Everything was going to be okay. For now, at least.