This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!
~Remember the Name ~ Fort Minor~
... Progress Inspection: August 6, 2009...
"What's the first thing I should teach you...?" papa asks himself. "Oooh, I know! How about you show me all that you've learned?"
I've learned basic disguise makeup, advanced hand to hand combat, stealth, and can basically talk cats into doing my bidding. That still includes everything from before.
"Sounds good, papa!"
I learned to call him papa instead of Joker because he gets angry and slaps me for being disrespectful. Not like it really hurts though because of my healing factor.
"Ooh," he purrs. "I love that! Let's go to the training room."
I follow him into the 'training room,' more like the room of weapons, torture, and death. I've heard the screams of pain resonating from this room while I'm watching tv in the living room. It has never phased me though, I know what I've gotten myself into. I just turn the volume of the tv louder to be able to hear the show. The room is full of an assortment of weapons from guns to knives to swords to grenades to flamethrowers. A normal girl would be terrified, but then again I'm anything but normal. I'm turning psychotic just like my parents.
I grabbed a few kunais and place myself at the line for flicking weapons towards a dummy. "Ready."
"Show me, my little villain!"
I hold all the kunais in one hand and flick them all at once, embedding the four stuffed dummies in the head and heart. "Was that good, papa?"
"Fantastic!" he cheers. "How's your aim with a gun?"
"Not great..."
"Nonsense," papa says, grabbing a gun off the table and throwing it towards me to catch.
I catch it effortlessly along with the chamber full of ammo. I grip it in my hand, unsure if I'm holding it right. Papa comes over and smacks me on the back of my head. "Ouch!"
"Idiot, that's not how you hold it," he says, plucking it out of my hand forcefully. He shows me the proper way to hold it and points it at my forehead. I look up at him as if tempting him to do it. "And fire it like this." He aims the gun at the dummies while looking straight at me. "Look at me!" With his other hand, he forcefully makes me look at the gun with his unclean, blood-stained nails gripping the handle. BANG. BANG BANG. BANG BANG BANG. BANG.
I watch the bullets ricochet off the metal human cut outs right in the center of their foreheads. "Wow."
The bullets run out and he goes to get a new bullet full chamber. "And that's how you do it." He laughs. "Guns might kill people but the human race has only one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
I laugh along with him. "Mark Twain, right?"
"Aww, my little girl is so smart!" papa says happily. "How about I show you disguises?"
"Yay! Makeup!"
...Green Dye: November 15, 2009...
About a week ago, papa decided to get himself caught by Batsy, so my lessons with him were halted. I decided to spend my free time doing something I thought papa would appreciate when he returned. I decided to dye my hair the same shade as his.
It took awhile because my hair doesn't like to dye. I had to bleach it countless times before it actually became white then the green didn't like dyeing on that. It was tedious but well worth it. Momma's reaction was shocked but she loves it, saying how much I look like papa, which is what I was going for. Today papa's coming home as all the news channels were talking about his escape.
Anyway, time to get you caught up on what more I've learned. I've gotten very good at shooting, but not crazy good. My disguise abilities are impeccable. I've learned how to assemble basic technology and what the components for them are. Last, I've learned how to be incredibly intimidating.
Papa comes through the door and momma automatically clings to him and they do their couple thing that I would rather not describe.
"Mistah J, our little princess has something she wants to show you," momma says.
"Oh? I hope it's something funny." He looks in my direction and his face is ecstatic. "Your hair..." He suddenly begins laughing. Not the normal laugh, the crazed lunatic laugh. "Ohh that is funny. You look just like your papa! Pumpkin, take a picture of us!"
She rushes off to go find a camera while papa comes over to me. He grasps a handful of my hair and lets it glide through his fingers.
"You like it, papa?" I ask.
"I love it, little monster," he smiles. "It reminds me how much fun this year is going to be with the both of us causing terror throughout the streets of Gotham."
I smile as momma comes racing back with a camera in hand. Papa sits beside me, putting bunny ears behind my head with a wide smile. I giggle as momma takes the picture. We end up taking a bunch dorky pictures together.
"We should go get these printed tomorrow!" momma says.
"You can. Dawny and I are going to visit a friend of mine," papa says.
...Penguin: November 16, 2009...
We arrive at a run down mansion.
"Welcome to Penguin's old family fortune home," papa says, introducing the house as if we were on a game show. "Old Pengy is waiting inside."
We head up to the front doors and are greeted by a few different types of birds. They all glare at us then squawk loudly, attracting the attention of Penguin, I suppose. The door opens and a fat short man replaces it.
"What?!" he asks rudely then sees papa behind me. "Oh, right. I'm going to teach the brat some skills."
"I'm beginning to question if you have any skills," I complain.
Papa begins to laugh as Penguin pouts. "Great, she's a rude brat."
"And you're an ugly fat penguin," I reply and look at papa. "Papa, can we go? He doesn't seem very helpful."
"That's why you'll only train with him a few hours every week," papa says.
"Are you staying?" I ask.
"I have important things to attend to. I'll be back to pick you up in a few hours, little monster." He kisses the top of my head, turns around, gets back into the car, and rides off with a wave.
"Great," I scoff and turn to Penguin. "Should we get this started then?"
...Riddler: November 28, 2009...
We arrive at a warehouse of sorts by the docks of Gotham and head inside.
"This is where I must leave you, my dear. Have fun!" papa says and goes out the way we came.
Inside is a small closed off room with a box in the center. The exit papa went out suddenly closes and I hear the confirmed lock. The top of the walls begin to dump out water, filling up the room.
"To get out you must solve the riddle in the box. You have a minute before the room completely fills with water," a voice speaks.
"There are many other ways I could get out of this blasted room, but I'll play your stupid game," I huff and quickly head over to the box. I take the card out from inside and read what it says outloud. "Wednesday, Tom and Joe went to a restaurant and ate dinner. When they were done they paid for the food and left. But Tom and Joe didn't pay for the food. Who did?" I look at it for a second and a frown appears on my face. "You've got to be kidding me. Wednesday paid for it. This pisses me off because there should be a comma after Tom."
"That's correct," Riddler says. The water flushes out the room and a door in the wall opens. "Please enter the next room."
I sigh. "How many rooms are there?"
"Ten."
I groan. "This is stupid. Why am I here?"
"Just go into the next room!"
"Okay, jeez. You don't need to shout," I complain and enter the next room. The door locks behind me. "Oh look, another small room and another stupid box with a stupid riddle inside." I walk up to the box and open it to pull out the card. The walls begin closing in on me. "A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?" I roll my eyes. "Are these going to even be hard? The lions are the safest because they have to be dead."
"Very good. I'll try to ignore your complaints."
Another door opens as the walls stop. I mutter incoherent words as I enter the next room. "I'm tall when I'm young, I'm short when I'm old. What am I?" A laser stretches across the room. "The answer is a candle or a pencil, depending on which one you want."
"How are you doing this so easily?!" Riddler huffs.
"I'm not an idiot, give me harder riddles, Riddly."
"Hold on a minute." After waiting patiently for awhile, his voice comes back on the speaker. "I've changed all the riddles to be harder for you. Continue."
I step up onto the platform in the next room and the floor around it disappears. Curious, I look over the edge to see two sharks swimming in water below me, getting ever so closer. I laugh as I take out the next riddle. "I can bring tears to your eyes; resurrect the dead, make you smile, and reverse time. I form in an instant but I last a lifetime. What am I?" Much harder... I've spent so long thinking, I can now see the tops of the shark's fins sticking out of the water. "Oh, sorry. Umm, memories?"
"Correct."
The platform is raised back up and I'm greeted with a new door to enter. I eventually get to the last room. "It can be cracked, it can be made, it can be told, it can be played. What is it?" I laugh. "Papa would love this riddle! Jokes!"
"Very good," Riddler says. "Come on in."
I walk through the door to be greeted by Riddler. "Hello!"
"Hello, you've passed my trail run. It looks like I'll train you after all."
...Deadshot: January 15, 2010...
I've learned all about trick weapons, most every riddle in the world, and can make any bird do my bidding.
All the pictures that papa, momma, and I took are all printed and I have them saved in a photo album that I save in my drawer in my nightstand. We've taken lots of photos since I've been here. My photo album is almost full.
"Are you serious, Joker?" Deadshot asks. "I'm not going to train a little girl."
"Why not?" I huff.
"You remind me of my daughter and what I would never do to her," he admits. "I won't teach her about guns and I won't teach you."
"That's so unfair!" I complain.
"She already knows about guns, she just needs to learn how to be a better shot," papa says. "She's already good, but she needs to be better."
Deadshot sighs, unclips a handgun from his side, and hands it to me. "Show me what you got. Shoot the can over there off the ledge."
I aim the gun like papa taught me and shoot after a few seconds. The bink of the can confirms that I hit it and I turn to Deadshot. "When do we start?"
"черт возьми," Deadshot says. "How old are you, kid?" (Fucking hell.)
"12," I reply.
"Иисус..." (Jesus...)
"What are you saying?" I ask.
"You're only a year younger than my daughter."
"Oh," I comment. "What language are you speaking? Can you teach me that too?"
He sighs. "Russian. Sure."
"Wonderful!" papa exclaims. "You can start tomorrow."
...13th Birthday: May 27th, 2010...
I've learned a lot from my time with everyone and my hair is still a vivid green!
"I'm sorry we missed your last birthday, sweetie," momma says. "We'll make it up to you this time."
"Are we going somewhere?" I ask.
"Just to watch a little fireworks," papa says, handing me a box.
I take the box and open it to see a small device with a single button. "What's this?"
"It's a detonation button," papa says. "Come on, let's get in the car."
We arrive at the Statue of Justice and make our way to the very top.
"This is gonna be exciting!" momma squeals.
We look out over the city.
"Now, you see that building over there," papa says and points. He continues after seeing me nod. "I had some henchmen load it with explosives. This button will set them off."
"Really?" I ask, eyes sparkling.
"My little girl deserves a big bang for her birthday," papa says with a smile. "Go ahead and light her up!"
Momma gets out the camera and begins taking pictures of all of us again.
"3... 2... 1!" I shout, pressing the button.
There was a sudden blinding flash followed by an ear-splitting roar as flames licked the building. I watch as the pretty colors light up the night suddenly get clouded by smoke. I begin to laugh and laugh and laugh. That was the first time I laughed as wickedly as my parents, who joined in on my laughter.
We returned home after we had our fun.
"Now we have one last present for you, little villain," papa says.
Momma tugs a box in front of me with smiling eyes. "Open it!"
I eye them both curiously before I hear a yip from the box. My eyes widen and I rip the box open to reveal a striped hyena pup. "Oh my gosh! So cute!" I pick up the pup, finding that it's heavier than it appears.
"This hyena pup is an enhanced hyena," papa says. "Meaning it's going to be a lot bigger than a normal hyena. She has super strength and enhanced durability, making her a perfect companion for my little girl."
"I was told she'll be 8 feet long and 6 feet high," momma says. "So, what are you going to name her?"
"Wow... Hmm... How about Storm?" I suggest.
"Sounds wonderful!" momma says.
"She's only 5 months now, but she'll get bigger," papa says
"It's time for pictures!" momma squeaks.
...Vat of Chemicals: July 8, 2010...
My hair has rejected the green now and has returned to its normal magenta.
"It's time for you to become an official part of the clown family," papa says.
"I thought I already was?" I ask.
"No, not until you jump into a vat of chemicals, like us," momma says.
"It's why we have crazy hair colors and white skin," papa says.
"Go get dressed," momma says. "We leave in a few."
I rush upstairs, Storm following after me. I sigh as I sit on my bed. "Storm, I don't know if I should go through with this. Sure, I wanna be apart of the family, but I don't know if I can go through another situation like this. After the particle accelerator explosion, I don't think I can handle going through the pain again. I know this'll be similar to it. I can feel it."
Storm whines at me in return.
"I know they mean well, but this doesn't feel right."
Storm laughs at me.
"I'm not overreacting!" I fuss, changing into some random clothes that could get dirty.
"Dawny? You ready to go?" papa's voice calls from the bottom of the stairs.
"Uh, yeah, coming, papa!" I shout, slipping on some shoes. I head downstairs with a smile.
"Let's get in the car, sweetie," momma says.
We get into papa's lambo and he drives us to a factory. Ace Chemicals. The three of us sneak inside and head to the large containers of boiling chemicals.
"Now all you have to do is jump," papa says. The three of us walk up to the edge and papa kneels next to me, pulling me close so he can whisper. He points to the boiling chemicals. "This is where your mother and I were born, and now you will be too."
"I'll become just like you?" I ask.
"Just like us," momma says.
I take a look down at the mesmerizing chemicals below and take a step forward. "Just like momma... Just like papa..." I turn to face my parents with a smile before I let myself fall backwards into the scalding chemicals. The chemicals wash over me and envelop me in its melting effect on my skin. The feeling comes and goes as I resurface, not feeling any different than before I fell in. I climb out as my parents greet me.
"You don't look any different," papa says, disappointed.
"I don't feel any different," I admit.
"Should we try it again?" momma asks. "Maybe that was a defected batch."
"Doubtful," papa says. "She must have a resistance to deadly chemicals."
Momma gasps. "It must be from Ivy's poison resistance shot."
"Ivy gave her a poison resisting shot?" papa says angrily. "Why wasn't I informed of this?"
"I'm sorry, puddin. I didn't think it'd be that important."
Papa grabs her by her jester hat and slams her against the giant container of chemicals, pinning her. "Of course it was important!" he yells, grabbing her throat. "She won't be able to be like us with something like that!"
"Sorry, puddin!"
I suddenly feel dizzy and have to lean against the nearest thing, the container of chemicals. "What's... happening...?"
"Dawn?" momma's voice calls out, turning the attention onto me.
"Your hair..." papa says.
"What? What's wrong with my... hair..." I say tiredly, falling to the floor.
"It's... green," momma says.
"G-green..." I exclaim and pass out.
~~~
My eyes open to the ceiling I've been seeing for the past two years. I blink a few times before my eyes adjust to the light.
"Puddin! She's up!" momma's voice shouts from next to me.
"H-how long have I been out?" I ask, sitting up.
"Two hours," momma says.
I gasp, remembering them saying my hair changed color, and grab my hair to look to discover it's its original magenta color. "My hair..."
"It returned to its normal color," momma says. "We don't understand why it turned green. We think the chemicals brought the color back out when you dyed it that color."
"It was definitely strange," papa says, walking into the room. "How you feeling?"
"I feel fine, papa. I honestly don't feel any different from usual."
"You're not supposed to feel fine!" papa shouts, shoving a lamp to the floor and breaking it. "You should feel very different!" He storms out the room and momma chases after him to hopefully calm him down.
"Oh Storm," I sigh, looking at my hyena curled up beside me. "What to do, what to do?"
...Hair Change: July 11, 2010...
I have discovered I can change my hair color at will from magenta to green to magenta again.
... Vigilante: July 13, 2010...
I have 'dyed' my hair back to green and permanently become green around my parents. At night, when I sneak out, I return it to magenta. Today is the day I become Bolt, the magenta-haired vigilante. The magenta speedster. I'm only going to be using my super speed. I gave myself a name where I can use both super speed and my electric powers when I want to add them.
I yawn. "I'm tired. Imma head to bed," I say, getting up from the couch.
"Okay, goodnight, sweetie," momma says.
I leave my parents and head up to my room. After shutting the door behind me, I ionize the air around me to form the suit I wanted, change my hair to magenta, put it in a ponytail, and sneak out my window.
"What to do first?" I ask myself, zipping through the streets. I hear a cry of help. "And that's where I shall go!" I turn into an alleyway to find a few thugs surrounding a woman. "You know, it's not nice to pick on people. Didn't your parents ever teach you not to be a bully?"
The three thugs turn around to face me. "And who the hell are you supposed to be? A wannabe superhero?"
"A superhero? No. Anyway, the name's Bolt. Don't forget it because it's the name you need to tell to people when they ask who kicked your ass," I say with a grin. I look towards the woman and mouth 'run.' She nods and rushes to me, slipping past the men. The men don't notice till she's behind me. "So easy."
"What do we do now?" the scared woman asks.
"Well, you should run home, dumbass," I reply to her.
She looks at me with surprise but nods her head anyway and runs off.
"You let her get away!" one man yells.
"Well, duh, that was kinda the point," I shrug. "You wanna go get her, you have to come through me." They lunge at me and I quickly side step. "Too slow."
"What the–?"
I punch the guy in the face before he could finish, knocking him out cold. "Anyone else?"
"How did–?"
I kick him in the temple so fast nobody could see it unless they were a speedster. "Wow, that was real easy." I look at the last dude and before he could even blink, I grab the collar of his shirt and slam him against the wall. I hear a satisfying crack as he made contact. He was the one that harassed me first. "That was fun while it lasted. What to do now?"
"You can tell me how you got your abilities," a deep voice from above says.
I quickly move to the side so the person doesn't jump on me. The dark figure looms over me and I get in a defensive stance. "Who are you?"
The man turns around and I quickly realize that it's the Bat himself. "You're well trained."
"Huh?"
"Your defensive stance isn't just some normal stance," Batman inquires. "You've been trained, but by who?"
"That's for me to know and you to never find out," I respond. "Who are you to ask me such a question?"
He gives me a glare, but it's nothing compared to papa's. "Who are you?"
"I'm Bolt," I reply.
"What's your real name?"
"Your's first."
He gives me the infamous batglare. "You're just a kid."
"So is Robin." I laugh. "It was nice meeting the famous Batman, but I gotta go. Mom and pop are probably wondering where I'm at."
He grabs my arm before I leave. "You're gonna get hurt."
"Nice try, Batsy, but putting a tracking device on me isn't going to happen," I respond, pulling my arm away from him. I grab the tracking device out of my glove. "Have a fun night!" I run off, checking myself for any more trackers. I shake my body quickly, getting rid of any more devices he might've stuck on me before returning home.
...Hungry: July 22, 2010...
All these night adventures have worn me out. I have forgotten to eat properly and am running out of steam.
"I guess the chemical dive has made you increasingly hungry again," papa says. "You really are a handful."
"Don't worry," I say. "I'm working on a high-calorie protein bar that has enough calories for me to be full."
"Look at my little smartypants," papa says, ruffling my hair.
"That's me!"
We're sitting at the table, eating our breakfast like we do every morning as a family. If people saw the behind the scenes of Joker and Harley Quinn, they would realize just how normal they really are.
"Today we're going to throw knives at you to test your reflexes," papa says.
Well, sorta normal.
"We can also train Storm how to protect you," momma adds.
Storm barks in reply from hearing her name beside me on the floor.
"I think Lou and Bud are taking real good care of training her," I comment. The two male hyenas bark in happiness.
"She's two times the size of Lou and Bud," papa replies. "She's teaching them."
Lou and Bud pout and whine in return then leave the room.
"Aww, you hurt their feelings, papa," I say, watching them disappear around the corner.
"Oh well, they could be better," papa scoffs. "Now, let's go."
The three of us finish eating and head into the 'training room' for practice. Momma and papa grab a handful of knives while I head to the center of the room.
"You ready, little monster?" momma asks.
"Always," I reply and there begins the dodging of knives.
...Robin: July 31, 2010...
Tonight I wait for momma and papa to fall asleep before I sneak down and steal some knives from the weapons room. I reform my suit around me to fit the knives into pockets, once I'm back in my room, and head out the window with my magenta hair flying behind me.
"Whoo hoo! I love going fast!" I shout and begin to sing. "Life in the fast lane. Surely make you lose your mind!" I skid to a halt on top of a building. "Ah! Look at this view!"
"It's magnificent, isn't it?" a voice asks beside me.
I jump, not expecting the voice. "Jesus, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
"My name's not Jesus," the voice chuckles and steps into the light. "The name's Robin, nice to meet you."
"I know who you are, Boy Wonder." I turn to look at him. "I'm Bolt."
"I know. Batman told me about you. I couldn't believe there was someone who sassed Batman besides me and the fact that there was another speedster hero."
"Hero? No, I'm no hero. Far from it," I reply and turn away from him, moving to sit on the edge of the building.
"Why do you think that?" he asks, sitting beside me but still maintaining distance.
"If you knew me, you'd understand," I reply.
"Then let me know."
I laugh. "Sorry, little detective, secret I.D. is something I need to keep to myself," I reply. "Having Batman send out his protégé to spy on me isn't going to happen. You try to befriend me, I comply eventually, and Batman gets what he wants."
He laughs. "Nice, he told me you were smart, but I'm not here because Batman told me to. I wanted to meet you."
I chuckle. "Why? I'm not all that interesting." That was the understatement of the year.
"Nonsense, you have super speed. I find that very interesting. My best friend also has super speed."
"Oh, really?" I ask. "Let me guess, Kid Flash?"
He laughs. "That obvious?"
"There's only so many speedsters."
"Don't you want to be a hero?" he asks.
"I did."
"What changed?"
"Life."
"I can relate," he admits with a sigh. We remain in silence before he breaks it. "Would you want to become a hero?"
I suck in a breath before answering. "I don't know."
"I told Kid Flash about you. He's excited to meet you."
I chuckle. "Of course he is."
"Anyway, I'm gonna ask again. This is a yes or no question. No maybes or I don't knows. Would you want to be a hero?"
I sigh and turn to look at the whites of his domino mask. "What happens if I say yes?"
"I'll help you become one."
"If I say no?"
"You continue as is, but Batman will wait till the moment you do something wrong and take you to jail."
I turn back to the city and close my eyes. "I need a few days."
"How about you go on a mission with us then decide?"
"With us? Who's us?" I ask.
"You'll find out," he says with a smirk and hands me a device. "Don't worry, I can't track it to you. You can pick through it and check if you like. Once we get a mission, I'll give you a call so you can have a test run to see if the team works for you."
"I'll trust that there isn't a tracking device in this, but if there is good luck ever trying to get it back. Once you break my trust, no one ever gets it back," I respond. "Ever."
"Noted."
...
Well, there is Joker's year. How'd you like it?
You need to pay attention to the dates or it won't make much sense. Anyway, next chapter will be an episode chapter. I know I know. Everyone hates those. Sorry.