Sooo..... I have talked about Lukas before. He has been one of my closest friends since my first year in middle school. At the same time that I became friends with Lukas, I became very close with another boy called Zach. We would all get together very well, and along with Dean (another one of my closest friends from elementary school), we would spend every single day together. Sometimes, Zach's younger brother, Simon, would join us, since they were pretty close even though they were 3 years apart from each other.
Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen in high school I started to have feelings for him
.....
Yep
.....
Buuuut since I was so close to him and knew that he didn't like me, because, at the time he was following another girl, I didn't pay too much attention to my feelings. I tried to ignore them (feelings), and when I said I tried, I REALLY tried. Eventually, as we reached the second year of high school, Zach said that he really loved our friendship (Lukas, Dean, and I) but that he wanted to hang out with the cool kids. Honestly, neither Lukas nor I gave a shit about what he said (a little bit of cursing there). If he wanted to hang out with other people he could do so. Still, it was kiiiiiinda weird that all of a sudden, he wanted that. But we didn't give it much thought, and it was something that even if Lukas and I thought at the same time we kept a secret from each other, and we wouldn't guess that both of us thought it was awkward up until a few years to come. I also took this opportunity to eliminate my feelings for him. Like I would spend more time with Lukas, helping him with his girl problems, and when the four of us would spend time together, I would try very hard not to "fangirl" about him.
But if you have ever been really in love... You just know you can't control these damn feelings.
Anyways, a few years passed, and by now, I had been crushing on Zach for like a pretty 2 years.....or at least trying to get rid of the feelings...
Then another one of my closest friends, Alice, told me
...........
yep.......
you guessed it
........
She had a crush on Zach. And if you really know me I am not the kind of person to ruin a perfect friendship for the sake of some boy. So.....I just let her have the crush on him and actually helped her try to get him.
I know I know......wow way to go Gwen
....amazing how you fight for love....
Well, in my defense, I was trying to get rid of the feelings, and since NO ONE, like not even Lukas, knew about my feelings, then.....why not?
I have no idea what Zach said to Alice......one day she just came crying to me about how big of a jerk he was. I was veeerry weirded out about this. He was a sweetheart, and I had seen him reject girls before, and he even did it in the sweetest way. So I came to him and asked him what he had told Alice (of course without saying the crying and jerk thing) I'm not gonna get into details Just cause we don't know if Alice is reading this
But he was a big jerk!!!!!!!! I mean.....I'm not aggressive, and if somebody had told me what he told her, I would have punched him in the face!!!!!
But I was between two walls. Both of them were my friends, and it had happened between both of them. So, I just honestly stood away from them. Anyways, for different reasons, Lukas and Zach left the school in the middle of high school. I was left with Dean and, every once in a while, with Simon (cause he was able to stay at school). Most of the times I would text to Lukas because, since Simon was still at my school, almost every week I would see Zach.
He was very sweet, and honestly, I started having feelings for him even more than before, which didn't help. I began to notice it when I would get extremely excited when I saw him or when his brother told me that he was coming that day. Now, all this increase in crushes happened around junior year.
Now senior year was a whole other thing...
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In senior year, as soon as we started, a reunion was held concerning the new establishment of technology in school and stuff like that. The day of the reunion, I arrived first and ended up meeting with Dean. By this year, Simon, Zach's younger brother, was also in high school, so we ended up seeing both of them. While Simon was hanging out with his friends, the rest of us went outside the auditorium. And let me tell you...
It was weird as f......like.....Zach was just showing pictures of hot girls to Dean and talking sexually about them. Meanwhile, Dean was just giving him a face like:
"Yeah.....they are hot.....good to know dude".
And I was being left out cause every time Zach said this, he would add, "I'm sorry, Gwen, I know you are the most naive out of all of us, so don't look at these pictures." honestly, by Dean's expression, the pictures weren't naive at all so.....
My face was like:
But my mind was like:
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!?!?!?! WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO ZACH?!?!?
I talked about this extreme change of attitude with Shandra and Alex, part of the group of close girl friends. Alex just told me that, who knows?, maybe he had been hanging out with the wrong type of people at the other school. And I couldn't just help but remember when Zach told Lukas and me that he wanted to be one of the cool kids. My mouth just dropped. I couldn't believe that the nicest guy I knew in the whole world had been slowly turning into this big jerk.
Fast-forward to January, and Lukas, Dean, and I went to the movie theater to see a movie (duh) because of my birthday. After the movie, we just hung around the mall. Dean had to go, so I went and ate something with Lukas. This is pretty much what happened.
"Sooooo.......have you heard anything about Zach lately?"
"He is a jerk. He ignored me and my calls for almost a year, and when he finally called, he told me that the only reason he was doing it was because none of his friends paid attention to him."
"What did you do?"
"I just hung up," and at this point, Lukas' face was boiling. I told him what had happened in the school meeting. Everything, and that indeed he had changed. He just looked at me in a very sad way. That was the moment that we realized that we had lost a very good friend.
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Now this that I'm about to tell you happened in April a few months after my talk with Lukas about Zach. My senior class wanted to do a special gathering so that we could have some "bonding and last memories......bla bla bla". Now Zach, even though he wasn't in the class, said that his aunt's apartment was available for a day and that we could do the activity there.
=> No, I hadn't seen him since last semester, and even though I was nervous about what he could be like, a part of me was very excited, .....you know........my boy-crazy part.
I decided to go, not only for him but also cause Caleb, Dean, Lola, and Alice were going. When we got there, the whole class was already there, and Zach was nowhere to be found. Apparently, he was arriving later. Anyway, we went to the pool, ate, and had fun. A few hours passed and Caleb and Dean said to the three of us girls "Hey, Zach just arrived let's go say hi to him"
We get out of the pool and see him in the distance at the basketball course. Now, this was after the whole change of emotions, so it was kinda weird for me, but also, it was weird for Alice, who had already gone to his rejection. We come close to him, he is shooting some hoops and listening to music in his headphones. When we get closer we just scream "HIIIII" to him. ....
"Hi"
And the little b--ch just kept throwing the freaking ball. Like not even eye contact.
Caleb goes to him and throws the ball away and just says "Say hi to us"
...
Zach just gave us the most FAKE smile a human being could ever give and kept listening to the music.
Caleb went and got the ball back for him (I wouldn't have done that); Alice and Lola left thinking that maybe it was them. So Dean and I stood there. Waiting for him to see if he would talk to us
.....
*wind blows*
I just grabbed Dean by his wrist and went with the others while Caleb followed us.
Again...... WTF WAS THAT!!! I don't even know what we did!!!!
After an hour Zach comes to me and he asks me where I plan to go to university....I tell him...he tells me his uni.....that all....he goes away.
What?!??!?!
Like........I don't want to offend anybody but I think you are having a double personality syndrome or something.
Anyways, we didn't talk for the rest of the day.......we never saw each other for a while.
Long story (kinda) short.....he came to our graduation, he took a photo with me cause all the parents were there and I couldn't punch him. And I never saw him again or so did I thought...