Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in – Amy Lowell
It Started with a Critique
When Raina was right, she was right and I hated it more than anything to have to admit to her that she’d won.
It was the next day and all the senior girls – heck all girls in general – were buzzing with gossip about our mystery guy, Scott Grayson.
It seemed he’d made quite impression on the girls last night when he’d taken his ‘walk’. As I’ve said before I’m not one to listen to gossip, because, well most of the time it wasn’t true, but in Scott Grayson’s case I’m sure that the rumour about him hooking up with Natalie Kennedy was.
I swear, we might be sophisticated art students, but teenagers will be teenagers and teenagers of the twenty first century enjoyed a good gossip. I practically had to sidestep giggling girls on my way to breakfast this morning. They were all gathered in packs, heads clustered together, whispering who knows what.
I was just about to make my way to the eating hall, when my path was intercepted by more giggling girls, this time they were looking over my shoulder completely ignoring the polite gesture I made so that I may pass. Giving up all hope on the female population of Art Haven, I turned to see… well, what do you know… Scott Grayson.
Leaning against a tree was a girl I didn’t know, while Scott stood in front of her. She was pretty, I can give her that much, but the way she battered her eyelashes at Scott made me want to roll my eyes. He must have said something funny because the girl playfully wacked him on the arm and then slipped a piece of paper in his hand.
I can only imagine that her room number must be scribbled on the page, with a few hearts dotted on the page to indicate just how much she was into him.
Feeling suddenly sick, I decided to skip breakfast. I know, not the healthiest solution, but if you felt the way I did by that scene you’d skip breakfast too.
I was making my way back down the path when a familiar voice, one I’d hoped I’d never hear called out to me.
“Hey, Aria!”
I gritted my teeth. Maybe if I kept walking I could ignore him and later say I hadn’t heard him.
No such luck.
“You’re Aria right?” I turned to see Scott only a few inches from me.
I tried to smile, though I’m pretty sure it seemed insincere.
“We met last night, right. Red face Aria, right?”
At that moment I felt all the blood drain from my face. Well, at least I won’t be red face Aria anymore.
“It’s just Aria.” I got out between gritted teeth. “How you doing, Scott? Enjoying Art Haven so far?”
“Yeah,” he looked about him, “I am. It’s seems like a pretty great place to spend the summer.”
Then why do you look bored half the time.
“It is. Lots of things to see, people to do - I mean meet. Lots of things to do, people to meet, that’s what I meant.”
With a brows raised he looked at me. “I’m sure.” He stared at me for a second.
“What?” I asked, slightly annoyed and frankly uncomfortable.
“Nothing, aren’t you going to have breakfast?” he hooked his thumb in the direction of the eating hall.
“Nope, I lost my appetite.”
He had a knowing smirk on his face. “Too bad. I guess I’ll see you around, Aria.”
With one last glance in my direction he was gone, heading toward the eating hall. I watched him go for a second and wondered what that was all about. Well, not like I care.
I turned intent on heading to favourite spot – it was time to get reacquainted with my favourite sketching place at Art Haven, when I was stopped by a group of what looked like freshman girls.
“You know Scott Grayson?” one courageous enough to speak asked.
“Yes, but I wouldn’t say I know him - know him.” I answered.
“It doesn’t matter. That’s so cool that you actually had a conversation with him.” Another let out, shocking even me.
“Okay girls, reality check. Scott is just another boy, so please do yourself a favour and not put him on a pedestal. For all you know he could be…” I paused, trying to think of something.
“I could be what?” I turned to see Scott standing just behind us.
This time I think the blood came rushing back to my cheeks and with brute force.
“I’d really like it if you’d finish that sentence.” He urged.
I looked to other girls for support, but as most human beings are, they’d disappeared and left me to pull myself out of this hole.
I looked up at him, directly in the eyes. This was my chance to tell him exactly what I think of him. “I was going to say, for all they know you could be bad in bed.”
He didn’t seem affected by this snide remark and just smirked. He stepped closer to me. I so wanted to take a step back in treat, but I needed to show him I meant business. I could feel his breath fan my face, as he lowered his face so our eyes were in direct line of each other.
“And exactly how would you know all about that?”
“Nothing, I guess.”
“I thought as much.” He was serious, but then smirked. “I could always show you just how wrong you are. I promise I’ll be gentle for your first time.”
I groaned out in disgust as I shoved him away from me. I stormed off, but not before I turned back to see him laughing. “You’re an asshole.”
I turned and stomped off.
Of all the arrogant, egotistical morons in the world, he had to show up and spoil my summer, spoil my first day back.
And who was he to assume I was still a virgin. Okay, yes I am one, but he had no right, no right at all to – to… to what? Make an assumption that was in fact right.
Scott Grayson better stay out of my way or I’ll – I’ll do something unpleasant that he wouldn’t be laughing about. I stopped in my tracks, knowing I needed to head to my first class for today. Maybe if I was lucky this class would be exactly what I need to calm down and forget all about Scott.
***
When I entered our first class I immediately found Raina.
“Where were you? We were looking for you at breakfast.” She asked, sounding a bit concerned.
I wasn’t in the mood to get into what had happened with Scott and decided to tell her later. “Later, right now all I need to do is let out my frustrations with a brush.”
I moved to the easel that was vacant beside Raina. Knowing her, she probably kept this place clear for me. I looked around to see the class occupied by all the senior students.
“So, you have any idea what this class is about?” I whispered to Raina.
She shook her head. “Nope. I don’t think anyone here does.”
True, nobody did. All we knew was that it was for senior students only, those of us who wanted to do painting. Jackie had organised it for us and said it was to be a surprise until this morning.
It really was a big mystery and most of the students now discussed what she could possibly have in store for us. Whatever it was, it had to be really good.
The door to the class room opened and I half expected to see Jackie, but to my surprise and utter annoyance, Scott walked – no, let me rephrase that, he casually strolled in. When his eyes landed on me… he smirked and winked.
I glowered and looked away, hoping nobody noticed, but one person did and got ready to pounce.
“What was that all about?” Raina asked over eagerly.
“Nothing, I said I’ll tell you later.”
She smiled sassily at me, as if knowing already what happened. But she didn’t know the half of it. As soon as I could I will be setting her straight. Most of the female population at Art Haven was already losing it; I didn’t need Raina to lose it too.
After another minute, Jackie arrived in class. She took up her position in the front of the class and immediately got into it. “Good morning everyone.” There as a mumbled greeting from all. “I trust you’ve all had a good night’s rest and are all anxious to found out about our mystery class.”
We all excitedly agreed, eagerly waiting the moment when Jackie would finally reveal the big secret.
“Well, I won’t be keeping you in suspense much longer.” She then walked back to the door and opening it called to someone named Andrew.
Andrew was tall and I mean really tall, with ash blonde hair and golden eyes. No really they really were golden or was it just me? He wore only a simple robe, but beneath there was no hiding his muscular form. It was hard, but I tore my eyes away long enough to see the girls in the classroom were even more awake than they’d been before. Even Raina seemed to be drooling.
I looked back at Andrew, who stood beside Jackie. What did he have to do with our assignment?
“Everyone this is Andrew. He was a student here once, about two – three years ago?” she looked to him for confirmation and he nodded. “Anyway, he is now a student at NYU, studying art. He has graciously agreed to help us with this next assignment.”
“Which is what exactly?” one of the other boys in our group asked.
Jackie smiled at Andrew, giving him the go ahead. He walked to a round, pillar like dome in the middle of the room, got on top. His hands were at the rope tired about his waist, but he made no move to undo it.
And that’s when it dawned on me.
“Welcome class to your first experience with nude models.” Jackie announced, to which Andrew undid the knot and let the robe fall to his feet.
I was right, there was muscular perfection beneath the robe and apparently so much more.
There was a lot of ogling from the fairer sex as Andrew stood and struck his pose.
“Now, I trust we can all handle this with the maturity of the seniors you are.” Jackie assessed, addressing us all.
We all mumbled an agreement. Jackie went on to explain exactly what she expected of us and that by Thursday’s class we would reveal our work.
I breathed in deeply. I could feel my heart rate speed up and tried my best to take it seriously, but considering this was my first time actually seeing a nude male form, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. I didn’t want the others to see just how innocent I was about the ways of a man’s body and tried my best not to be nervous, and most importantly not to blush.
Apparently I wasn’t doing such a good job of it. I felt someone’s gaze on me, only to look up and see Scott grinning at me knowingly. I turned my attention from him. He might be able to see right through my façade, but I wasn’t about to let that distract me from the task at hand.
With all my supplies at hand, I looked up at Andrew to see he’d shifted into a more comfortable position, a position that put me in a direct line of his – well, his manhood. I felt the blush rise to my cheeks and prayed no one was looking at me. Oh, but there was one person looking at me, of course he would be. I glared his way and all he did was chuckle, turning back to his work.
I took another deep breath and looked back at Andrew, who happened to be looking at me. He gave me a pleasant smile and I returned it by looking into his golden eyes. They instantly calmed my unease. It was as if they were saying, ‘ignore that guy, just paint.’
That was exactly what I did.
It started out rough, but soon I was able to get into it. I was a damn good painter and would complete this assignment with ease.
***
Before I knew it our time was up.
“Okay, we’ll be meeting here tomorrow at the same time. We’ll see you then.” Jackie announced as the students began to walk out of the room.
“I knew this would be the best summer, ever.” Raina said as soon as we were out of the class.
“Shame on you, you’ve got Blaine.” I teased, knowing instantly what was on her mind.
She laughed at my comment. “True, but this is for art purposes. Besides, Blaine looks just as yummy naked. The only difference is I get to touch him.” She winked at me.
“Could you say that any louder?” I joked.
It was no secret to me that Raina and Blaine were intimate. They’d been together for a year and three months now. They’d met here at Art Haven two summers ago and found out that they actually both lived in the same city. The only thing was they went to different school.
It wasn’t hard for them meet up after school and they soon fell for each other, though I believe Raina had a thing for him since the summer they met.
“I’m in love, I’m allowed to.” She justified, making me shake my head.
She began ruffling through her belongs. “I forgot my sketch book in our room. I’ll catch up with you later.” She said and bashed off before I could say anything.
I walked off to our next class, wanting to settle in so I can work on my sketch for tomorrow a little more. I was lost in thoughts of today’s agonising lesson when I noticed Scott standing ahead of me, leaning casually against a tree.
I knew there was no way I could avoid him, he was standing in my path after all and decided to just ignore him.
“Did you enjoy today’s lesson? I know it must have been an uncomfortable one for you.” I wish I could punch that smirk right off his pretty face.
I stopped in front of him. “Look, I don’t know why you’re making it your mission to annoy me, but it has to stop. Yes, I’ve never seen a guy naked before this morning, but so what.” I took another step closer to him and in a deadly whisper I added. “Yes, I’m a virgin and I’m proud of it. At least I have more dignity to wait until the right guy comes along, than give it away to every guy who walks in my path. So back off or I’ll make you.”
His intense black eyes stared back into mine. I could see the challenge in them, could see he was waiting for me to back off, but I never did. I was tired of being the girl who gets kicked around. I meant business and it was time I showed it.
He smiled sweetly and took a step back. “Look I didn’t-”
“I don’t care, just stay away from me.” was all I said and walked off, feeling pretty good with myself.
***
Thursday came around soon than expected.
I stood scrutinising my sketch, feeling a bit anxious about what I’d done. It wasn’t exactly what was expected of us, but I did my best to portray what I saw. I felt pretty good about it, as I did all my other work and hopefully the others will appreciate what I’ve done. Covering the artwork, I placed it on the easel.
The room was a whispered hum as we all waited Jackie’s arrival. It wasn’t that hard to see we were all anxious to reveal our first attempt at portraying the male form.
I bit my fingernails, feeling a bit overwhelmed by all this.
“He’s looking at you again.’ Raina whispered next to me.
“Who?”
“Don’t play coy. You know who.” She wiggled her brows.
I turned to look at Scott and met his gaze. He didn’t smile or even give away a reason for his stares. I sent him a questioning look, but all he did was smile, shake his head and look away.
What was that all about?
“You should just talk to him.” she suggested.
I looked at her as if she were crazy. “And say what?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe you could apologise to him for the PMS mood you were in on Tuesday. The guy was trying to be friends and you bit his head off.”
I rolled my eyes. Raina could really over exaggerate some times. I’d told her, as promised, what had transpired between me and Scott Tuesday morning before class. She’d of course bit my head off about the way I’d acted. Clearly, she was still dead set on hooking us up.
I hadn’t told her about what had happened after class though. I had my reasons though. Raina knew I was a virgin, but just how much of a virgin…
For instance she didn’t know I’d never seen a man naked before and how shocking it had actually been for me in class. It’s not that Raina would judge me for it, I knew she wouldn’t. She was one of the most understanding people I knew. I just don’t feel the need to let out every personal detail of my life to her. A girl has to have her secrets, even from her best friend.
Of course with the way I’d been profusely trying to hide my unease in our last two classes it’s a wonder she hadn’t noticed. I mean how could Scott, a guy I barely know, who barely knows me, notice the way I was acting and not my best friend?
Either he was really observant or he was watching me closer than I thought. And if so why would he be?
She continued when I said nothing. “Look all I’m saying is Scott seems like a nice guy. He’s a bit mysterious though. Doesn’t reveal too much about himself.”
My head snapped to her. “And how would you know anything about it?”
She smiled sheepishly at me. “I hung out with him, with Blaine and Tommy. After all he is their roommate.”
“You don’t have to look so guilty about it. I get it. I’m not going to stop you from being his friend. But Scott and I, we’re definitely not friends.”
Jackie entered the room then and I looked up to see Scott smirking at me. I swear it’s like this guy knows something I don’t.
“Good morning.” She greeted in a sing song voice. She turned to smile at us all. “So, are we ready to reveal our master pieces?”
Everyone seemed up for the challenge and there were even a few bold students who volunteered to go first. I stood back, admiring their work. It wasn’t in all classes that we actually revealed our work, but Jackie encouraged us to show off our work within this safe environment.
The floor was open to all who had something to say about the work. Whether it was good or bad, we took it. Jackie explained that it was a good trail run for when we had our exhibits one day and the real critics gave their opinions. It teacher’s us humility and at the same time to take the bad critiques. Plus we get a chance to see what others think so we can improve on our talents.
“Ah, Ms Jenson, I’m real interested to see what you’ve brought to the floor.” She said suggestively.
I smiled, trying to be confident, but I knew it was meekly. “My work?”
“Yes,”
I took a deep breathe as all the students gathered about my easel. I took a step toward it and closing my eyes I revealed my latest work.
Silence greeted my ears. Was this a good silence, you know that kind were people are left speechless because their in awe of what they see, or is this the bad kind that says the painting’s bad and they prefer not to say anything because they are scared they’d hurt my feelings?
I looked back at the faces and realised that they were mostly in shock. I looked to Raina and she tried to give me an encouraging smile, but it failed completely and she knew it.
“Aria,”
“Yes, Jackie?” My voice came out a bit shaky.
“As I recall Andrew wasn’t sitting, neither was most of his body covered by his pose.” Jackie looked at me, waiting for my answer.
“Well, you see. I wanted to do something different. You said to use our imaginations-” I looked to my classmates for confirmation but none of them were much help “- and that we should capture the image as we see fit and this is how I want to portray Andrew’s nude form.”
“I understand what you’re saying, but Aria there is barely any nudity in this portrait.”
I swallowed, feeling a bit uneasy with what she was saying. How could I tell them what I was trying to achieve without looking like a total innocent?
“Aria, are you perhaps uncomfortable doing a nude portrait?” Jackie asked.
I guess this is confession time.
“I don’t think she’s uncomfortable with doing it.” I looked around to see Scott walk to the front of out gathering.
“You don’t?” there was a tinkle in Jackie’s eye when she asked. “And why do you think Aria sketched Andrew the way she did and is it any good?”
“I think it’s good, not great or one of the best, just good.” He looked at me. What was he doing? “I think Aria isn’t uneasy about sketching a naked guy, she’s just innocent.”
I’m so going to kill him later.
Jackie smiled. “Could you explain what you mean?”
He took a step forward, indicating to the sketch. “This is a clear portrayal of a girl who’s seen the nude male form for the first time. Most would see her act of hiding the genitals as juvenile, but in my opinion it shows a woman who still appreciates the soul and heart of a man, rather then his physical appearance.”
He had all the students, even Jackie captivated with what he had to say. Heck, he had me captivated too.
“Look at his eyes,” he turned his attention there along with everyone else, “see the depth she has placed there. To me I see a sketch of a man in nude, but not in appearance, but in emotion. She has showed us his soul, which I think is the rawest, barest form you can see the male form in.”
I looked at him in admiration. How was he able to save my pathetic sketch and make it sound as if I painted a masterpiece?
“Well, thank you Scott for that insight. I must say even my eyes were opened. Aria, a job well done on your presentation of the nude male. It’s something different and totally unexpected.”
With that Jackie moved on to the next student and I sank back in my seat in relief.
“I think you owe him an apology now.” Raina said, as she stepped past me.
You see when Raina is right, she’s right.
***
It took everything I had in me to look for Scott later that day.
I’d considered about a dozen times to go looking for him, but my courage seemed to fail me. Plus, I wasn’t exactly in the mood to play nice with Scott just yet.
I wanted to believe that today’s class hadn’t happened that he hadn’t come to my rescue. But he had and I’m still trying to figure out why. It’s not like I gave him a reason to want to help me. After all I’d said and accused him of; I’m surprised he didn’t let me fry.
It was just before dinner when I found Scott sculpting in one of the classrooms. It was in a quieter of part of the school. I guess he liked his privacy when he was working on something new too. I could see him through one of the open windows and before I lost my nerve to do this, I walked up to the main door and walked in.
A cool breeze fluttered through the open windows, a reprieve from the warm summer sun outside. Scott was intensely focused on his work, his ear buds roared with music, which sounded a lot like heavy metal. I’m not even in the least bit surprised by this. He had always seemed like the hardcore type of guy.
I was lost for a minute, watching him move, watching his hands. They glided as he chiselled and chipped at the marble, his muscles flexing as he worked. His hands ran along the still ruff surface and as he took a moment to consider his next move, he pushed his hair back, leaving a faint trace of white marble dust in its wake.
His face was a mask of concentration. Gone was the smirking idiot who’d done nothing but torment me these past few days. He was cool, collected and so focused it seemed nothing could break the creative spell he was under.
I took in his appearance; from his black, sleeveless vest to the same skinny jeans I’d so admired him in on our first day here. I swear it’s like those jeans were made just for him. He’d personalised it. Each pocket had a skull with flames stitched on it, while a sliver chain hung on the left side, hooked to the loops. They looked pretty badass and made him look…
Okay Aria, no more ogling Scott Grayson. Wasn’t it you who had said that he was just a guy, the same as any other?
I tried to make my presence known, but it was clear that he couldn’t hear me over the music. I stepped close to him and tapped him lightly on the shoulder and he jerked back in fright.
“Shit,” he swore, shocking me, “Aria, what the hell?”
“I’m sorry. I tried getting your attention but your music was too loud.” I explained.
“You think!”
I glowered at him. “I said I was sorry. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”
“Well now the kitten has claws.” He commented looking at me intensely.
Why does he always do that?
Wanting to relieve us of this silence I pointed at his work. “Something special you working on?”
He shrugged. “Maybe. What do you want, Aria?”
“Okay,” well someone’s clearly in a foul mood. “I just came by to say… thank you.”
He frowned at me. “For what?”
Was he really going to make me say it? I sent him a look that said you-know-what-I’m-talking-about, but it didn’t seem to register.
“I wanted to thank you for what you said in class today.” I finally revealed.
He had a smug smile on his face. “Oh, for that. It was nothing.”
“Yes. Well. I still feel I need to thank you. So, thanks. You kind of saved me back there, though it wasn’t an entire save, was it.”
He shrugged again, grinning. “Well, it couldn’t save you completely. You are the one who drew the sketch, there’s no getting away from that.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means, Aria, that you drew the sketch that made you look the part of an innocent. With or without my help the rest of us would have figured it out anyway.” He picked up a cloth and wiped his hands. “I’m just saying that you’ll never be a great artist if you keep restricting yourself like you are now.”
“Restricting myself?” I could feel the anger boil up inside. “And what do you mean I’ll never be a great artist?”
“Let’s face it Aria, your innocence keeps you from achieving all that you could. Your lack of experience with the real world might be cute now, but in the real world it won’t fly.” He took a step toward me and lowered his voice. “You need to break from your shell and get with times or you’ll be stuck being a mediocre artist who never gets anywhere in life.”
I stood, frozen. I couldn’t say or do anything for fear that I might explode and kill him.
“If you want,” he continued, stepping even closer, “I’d be willing to teach you a few things. Who knows, you might be begging me for more.”
This seemed to wake me up. I shoved him back and hissed. “You really are dreaming if you think I’d willing be with you.”
He laughed. “Oh, we’ll see who will be doing what willingly. All joking aside, one day you’re going to wake up and realise that feelings, emotions, experiences are what’s going to make you a great artist. It’s what makes all the great poets, writers and singers, well… great. And it’s what makes an artist great too.”
I looked him dead in the eye. “Maybe so, but all these emotions, feelings and experiences you talk about, are things I will discover on my own, without the likes of you.” I turned on my heel and stormed out the class.
Mediocre!
I’ll show him who’s mediocre. How dare he even…
I was so angry right now that I could have blown a gasket at anyone who stood in my path. I couldn’t have dinner with my friends like this. I needed to cool off and I knew just the place.
***