At lunch I was in the library as per usual, hidden behind one of the bookshelves.
I got up to look at a different shelf for a new book and when I pulled a couple of the books off the shelf, a head appeared.
"Tasha." Wes said through the gap.
"Wesley?"
"Yup."
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Candy?" I asked.
"Umm, no?" He replied. "I needed to come and see you."
I sort of snorted in disbelief and walked to the next shelf. He followed, obviously.
"What's your issue?" I asked him.
"Well maybe the fact that earlier you ran off with tears in your eyes." He said in a 'duh' tone of voice.
"So?" I shrugged.
"Well you were upset, clearly, and I want to know why." He replied.
"Well good for you." I obviously faked a smile so he knew it was fake and I walked off back to my seat. He followed, again.
"Whatever it is, you can tell me." He said as he sat in the seat next to me and put his hand on my shoulder as if it would pull the information out of me.
"No Wes, I can't. Not this. Just don't worry about it, we still on for the cinema?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"Uhh I thought you had plans?" He replied.
"Um yeah I did but I cancelled them..." I trailed off. "So we going?" I asked.
"Yeah definitely." He replied happily. Luckily he has forgotten about his little mission that he apparently set himself and he has moved on. Thank the lord.
"Great, now if you'll excuse me I have to check out this book and go to class." I replied before walking off and finally being able to concentrate and breathe properly again.
Great, now I have to go to the cinema with them.
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*Later*
I made it to the cinema but tonight I was just wearing my grey sweatpants and a loose black crop top. I was wearing less make-up than usual and my hair was up in a messy bun. Absolutely zero effort has been put into my outfit. I couldn't be bothered tonight. I realized that when I go to the cinema with Wes I usually make myself look pretty and thanks to my recent discovery, I now know that the reason I make myself look good is to look attractive for Wes subconsciously trying to make him see me as more than a friend.
I am in the wrong frame of mind, which I know, but do I care? Nope because who have I got to impress? All of the lads in school are unavailable to me because they've all been out with Candy and I have a feeling that she'd be mad at me for trying to get with one of her ex's and since last week, Wesley is unavailable too.
At least I decided to put shoes on instead of my slippers I mean, I may be hopelessly doomed when it comes to relationships but I still have my self respect.
I wandered up to them and they both stared at me with their mouth slightly hanging open.
"Are you guys ready to go in?" I asked.
"Uhh yeah." Candy replied, snapping out of the confusion much quicker than Wes who was still a little dazed while we brought the tickets and walked into the screening room.
"Shoot. I think I dropped my card outside, can you come help me look for it Natasha?" Candy asked.
"Sure." I shrugged before getting up and walking out.
She followed me out and then grabbed my hand to spin me around as soon as we made it outside.
"What in the world are you wearing? You look like you are ready to just roll into bed." She exclaimed.
"I am, in fact, i'm going straight into bed as soon as I get out of ths cinema." I replied.
"You're not staying for food?" She asked.
"Nope." I replied, popping the 'p'.
She actually looked hurt. "Oh, I thought you loved these nights with Wesley?" She stated.
"I'm just not feeling it tonight." I shrugged as though it's nothing personal.
"You never not in the mood for Mondays with Wes. Is it because i'm here?" She asked.
I shook my head. "No, no of course not. I'm really just not in the mood tonight."
She nodded. "Okay." She replied. I know she didn't mean it though, she likes to know everything that goes on so I know that she won't stop until she knows whats up. I need to be careful from now on.
I walked back into the screening room and took my seat, one seat away from Wesley. He leaned over to me to say something but before he could, Candy sat in between us.
I shifted my eyes from him to the screen and sat silently through the adverts. Then as the film began, I turned my head to see Candy leaning closer to Wesley and immediately felt more awkward than I already did. I knew this was going to happen but I didn't think it was going to be right at the start. When I come to the cinema I like to ask Wesley about the film or make inside jokes and he did the same with me but now I can't do that with anyone.
I sat quietly throughout the film and then as soon as we got outside afterwards, I turned to them.
"Well, I better be off, i've got things to do." I told them.
"You're not staying?" Wesley asked.
"Nahh, i've got things to do." I replied.
"But you are never busy on a Monday night." He pointed out.
"Yeah well things change Wesley." I replied, slightly angry. I was hoping that neither of them noticed it in my voice but by the look that Wesley gave me, I think he heard me.
"Right well, we better go and eat, it's cold out here." Candy said, oblivious to my current mood because she was too busy thinking about Wesley.
"See you guys later." I replied as I walked off. It had dropped pretty cold and I found myself wishing that I had put on a hoodie or something before I came out.
I was walking down the street when someone almost walked straight into me, about to head into the bar next to me judging by the direction he was walking in, and looked me up and down.
"Woah, you look rough. Bad night?" He asked.
I quickly recognized him as Wade, a lad that Candy was with around five weeks or so ago. "Hey, Wade right? Yeah, I guess you could say that." I replied.
"Yeah, and you are Natasha. I remember you from when me and Candy were a brief thing. That girl, I swear she's dated the entire year." He laughed.
"Yeah." I replied, thinking about how hot he looked in the faint glow of the bar and the small light that the nearby street lamp was creating. "She's working on it." I added.
He laughed and I realized that his laugh and his voice are actually really attractive. I then spent a couple of seconds wondering where these thoughts were coming from.
"Well, since you've clearly had a rough night, do you want to come in for a drink?" He asked.
I looked at the bar behind me and shrugged. He seemed harmless and the bar wasn't packed, also my mum didn't expect me back until usual time so I figured why the heck not. "Sure, I don't see why not." I replied.
"Great, don't worry, my parents own the bar. I'm allowed to drink what I want but i'm usually sensible with it." He explained as we walked in.
"Awesome." I nodded.
"Here, come behind the bar while I make us a drink." He said as he led me through the little gap that took you behind the bar. No one was looking at us funny so I figured that him being here was a usual thing.
Suddenly he turned around to face me. "Alcohol okay?" He asked. I nodded, unable to force any words out after seeing his face properly in somewhat decent light. He was much more attractive than Wesley and he seemed to be really nice which only drew me in even more. Good personality over took good looks any day.
He eventually handed me a glass of some sort of drink that I hadn't had before and I took a sip, struggling to hide the cough that wanted to be created after tasting how strong the drink was. The most i'd had was a bit of cider at a friends house a while back, well, that and the low percentage stuff, I was allowed that. Jheeze, I better not say any of this in front of him. An 18 year old still not allowed alcohol any stronger than 5% has always been strange and annoying to me but to him it would just be weird.
"So, what's made your night so bad?" He asked.
"Candy crashed my time with Wesley." I replied.
"Wesley? As in Wesley Palmer?" He asked.
"Yeah." I nodded, drinking more of my drink.
"You like him or something?" He asked.
Do I? I mean, i'm more hurt over what Candy has done more than the fact that Wesley has gone out with her. I don't think I actually like Wes, I think I'm jealous that a friend that was mine and not hers has suddenly decided to switch his ideas and become friends with Candy. I can't call him my friend anymore, he's now our friend and I think that I just got confused. I do not like Wesley Palmer.
"Hello... Earth to Natasha." I broke out of my thoughts and looked at Wade. "You never answered my question."
"No, I don't like Wes but I am annoyed that I now haven't got anything that she hasn't. That makes me sound bad but I liked that Wesley was only my friend and not hers, it helped me feel like I was my own person I guess." I shrugged as I basically downed the rest of my drink.
He chuckled in the attractive way again and looked at me. "Do you want another?"
"Yeah please, this stuff is amazing." I said with a smile.
"You've never drank before?" He asked, suddenly looking concerned.
"No I've drank before," the look on his face softened a little, "I've just never had this drink before." I replied.
He wandered off to get another and I sat thinking about him which was something that I never would have done with Wesley. I never thought about him as much as I am thinking about Wade now. He seems to be permanently stamped into my brain and I kind of liked it.
"I'm back." He replied as he placed the drink down on the table.
"Yay." I replied.
"Yay?"
Uhh... "The drink. Yay I got another drink." I covered for myself.
"Ahh okay." He said with a chuckle. It got me smiling and soon enough we were both just sitting in a comfortable silence with the ghost of our smiles sitting on our faces.
"So, what happened with you and Candy then? I'll probably remember when you tell me but I always need reminding because she has so many boys it's hard to keep up, usually I just nod and say something like 'oh' or 'what the hell' where necessary."
"She broke it off with me for that Robbie kid." He replied.
"Ew, I hated Robbie. In fact, there aren't many of her boyfriends that I have liked or even got to known. There are the odd few that will say hey when i'm with her and him but the rest just ignore me like i'm not there." I explained.
"Yeah I noticed that you ran off from the lunch hall when you saw her with me." I must have looked shocked that he even noticed that because he added, "Yeah, I saw you. You kind of peeped your head around the door, looked over at us and then disappeared."
"Oh, right. I usually make myself invisible when shes with a lad, most don't talk to me and I end up just awkwardly sitting next to her and whoever shes with while they flirt and make me wanna throw up from time to time. I soon discovered that she doesn't realize when i'm not there so I go sit in the library." I explained.
"Oh, she doesn't sound like a great friend Tash." He replied.
In attempt to change the subject I said "Tash? You've got me a nickname already?"
"Yeah why not." He shrugged. "Why? Is Tash bad?"
"No, usually people call me Tasha but it's okay for you to call me Tash." I replied.
"Good, I like that I have a nickname for you that others don't." He replied.
"Yeah, it's kind of nice to have a change from boring old Tasha. I think I like Tash better." I replied, finishing off my second drink. I could feel myself becoming looser and welcomed the feeling.
"Do you want another drink? I think something not as strong this time." he said as he grabbed his glass and stood up.
When he came back, he was holding two bottles of Kopparberg and I quickly swiped it out of his hands.
"Yes, this is my faourite." I smiled as I took a swig from the bottle.
"Woah, I think i've found your alcohol weak spot, even if it is only 4%." He laughed and I smiled.
"Well, you know, it's yummy. " I replied.
Another bottle of Kopparberg later, I began to feel dizzy and Wade said that I could stay at his for the night instead of having to make a journey home while slightly drunk.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let you have so much." He said as he walked me upstairs to the living space above the pub.
I looked around when he turned the light on. The whole place was neat and tidy except for a couple of cans and bottles in clusters here and there.
"It's fine. This place is nice." I said to him. He looked at me with a smile.
"Thanks. It's mine, no one else lives here, my parents did but they decided to buy a cute little house along one of the side streets near here, the one with the family houses and the big gardens. They wanted it for when my brother and sisters kids come down. They have both married and had kids and they like to bring them down at least every weekend. My family are all pretty close.My brothers kids love my sisters kids and both of their partners get along really well with the family." He explained to me. "Sorry, look at me babbling about nothing." He said, blushing.
"No it's okay. I like it when you babble." I told him. He smiled before leading me to the bedroom.
"There's only one room, I can go on the sofa." He told me as he led me to a double bed.
"Nah it's okay, stay with me." I told him as I sat on the bed.
"Okay, if you don't mind."
"Hey, i'm the intruder, if anything, I should be the one on the sofa but think about it, this way we both get a good nights sleep." I explained as I felt sleep coming onto me.
"True. Wait here, i'm going to get some water, bathroom is through there if you need it." He said as he pointed to a door.
"Yes, I think I do." I said as I got up. I walked a bit weird since I felt a little dizzy but not enough to completely ruin my ability to walk. I got in, did my business and then came out, pulling my phone out of my pocket.
'Sleeping at Candy's tonight, don't wait up.'
I sent the text to my mum, knowing that she won't think anything of it, I usually sleep at Candy's and then quickly before school, i'll pop in and get changed into my uniform.
"I'll need to go home tomorrow before school for my uniform." I said when Wade walked back into the room.
"Okay, what bus do you get to yours?" He asked.
We sorted out that i'll just wake up early and he'll go to school as usual. It was easier that way and I can't turn up to my house with a boy or my Mum will become suspicious.
"Okay cool. Thanks for tonight." I said as we lay down for bed.
"No problem." He replied.
I drank the water and then slowly fell into a deep sleep.