Chapter 40: All This Time
(Starfire)
I stared blankly at the screen. Was that everything? No...it can't be all. I looked from every file I could open but there was nothing. I looked through Robin's room trying to find if it was all a joke that—that—I refuse to believe that he doesn't want me to save him. Why? Is he finally giving up? Is he finally letting me go after all this time?
"No...No...NO!" I slammed my fits on his bed landing softly on each thud. My anger growing weary as my tears fall and my heart break.
I was outside. I felt nothing. I don't know what to do. I wanted him for so long that I just went blank. It was all nothing. His sacrifices were nothing but just sacrifices. Was I not enough for him to fight back?
"Starfire," I hear the familiar voice of Raven. I was too far gone to think or shoo her away. All I wanted was to be alone.
"He didn't want me to save him." She stopped and I could see her scrutinizing my face for any reaction.
"I see." She clenched and unclenched her hands.
"I want to see him." I declared. She looked at me shockingly before nodding.
"I want to do that too but..." she hesitated.
"We have to travel to the underworld, my realm. And seek out his soul or his spirit. You can talk to him then but for my father to have his soul. I think you need more help." She said. I don't want anyone to come with. It might be dangerous and none of the titans were in good shape to come anyways.
"I can go alone Raven." She smiled sadly and nodded. Just as we were about to go back inside Cyborg and Beastboy came.
"So, leaving us again?" Beastboy muttered.
"You heard us?" I gasped. It was just for me. I don't want to burden them.
"And then what? Let us wait here until we get the news both of you are dead?! Until then?!" Cyborg all but yelled.
"We want to help, this isn't yours alone Star." Beastboy was sadly saying. He looks tired but his voice held firmness.
"He was our leader too. We wanted to say something before he left but you can see that we don't exactly have time to chat." Cyborg said
"So were coming with you." I was about to protest when Cyborg held my shoulders.
"It's hard, I know. But it's not our decision if he chose to do that. I wanted to know too. I want to thank him...for everything and say a lot more things. And if we could save him s be it but we can't just sit here Star. We want this too." Cyborg looked determined and sad at the same time. I can see his fondness and respect and I could also see he adored robin as our leader.
"Yes...okay then." Raven nodded and made spell to open a portal to the underworld. It was dark, cold and lifeless but there are just some things you do for love.
__________________
(Robin)
It's cold...so so very cold down here.
I can't feel my arms
My legs
My fingers
I want so badly to hold her
To see her
Maybe kiss her
But then it's too late
So very late
_______________
(Starfire)
We were at the demon realm. Demons swirling above us and different shrieks and screams were around us.
"My father lives right there." She pointed at a stone castle with volcanoes as light and demons guarding each entrance.
"How do we enter?" I asked
"You need to brew a special drink from the river of forgetfulness and river of fire to make a potion that can make their memories change and burn." She said. It was easier fighting them but we have our stealth on our side and would rather stay hidden before Trigon finds out we are in his domain.
"Okay let's make that brew." And we headed off to the ingredients.
____________________
(Robin)
"in---Rob—in" there was that...a faint name calling.
Who is this person?
Why am I hearing things?
"Can---me"
Why am I hearing this?
Why can't I remember who this is?
Why can't I remember who I am
It's so empty and cold
"Stay---us"
I want to hear more
Let me hear more
Let the voice comfort me in this darkness
Let me remember
_____________________
(Starfire)
We managed to make the drink and Beastboy was able to drop them like bird poo. Most of them fell down and wandered off. It might be easy but I don't think Trigon will like it seeing that we made his soldiers forget that they died.
"Can you sense him?" His lobby was filled with skulls and bones and a big red stone throne was in the farthest room."
"Yes. I'm reaching him but...he's nearly gone." Raven said. I clenched my hands I was trying to tell him. To reach him to hold on.
"Let's find him quickly then." And we raced off just as abunch of demons went by our way and stopped us.
"Go Starfire! We'll catch up!" Cyborg made a salute and foght off the demons.
"We have to go...he's almost gone." And we made a run. A bunch of hallways, a few eye lasers and plasma balls we were able to reach a corridor with a black door. It was filled with whispers. It wasn't that warm at all but there was still something there that kept you cozy.
"The room of souls." Raven whispered.
"Father kept souls here or the room picks them up. Sends them in here to wander forever or reincarnate. It's a choice but sometimes the souls here are left with regrets and wander others find peace and go." Raven says as she pushed the doors open revealing a vortex of white transparent ghosts swirling, muttering.
"Where is he?" Raven concentrated and she pointed farthest through the vortex
"Almost gone." She said and I frantically looked. I saw him. Looking dazed and floating. His spirit was nothing but a flame but I know it was him. I know its Robin.
"I have to get him." I almost went inside when Raven stopped me.
"No! Once you go inside your soul might go as well. You can never go back here! You'll be a lost soul forever!"
"I don't care! I want to see him. I want to say something to him." I was frantic.
"I want to say I love him."
Raven looked torn and then sighed.
"Hang on to the line of your body. Don't lose sight that you are still alive." Then she let me go and I dove through.
_____________
(Robin)
"Robin."
A sweet voice
I know this voice
I can't see her
I can't picture her
She's fading
"I love---"
Did she say she loves me?
Who is she?
"Robin!"
Stronger
Her voice seem close
Who is she?
I wanted to see
So I opened my eyes.
____________
(Starfire)
Hold on to that life you have. And so I did. I dove right through the vortex. Robin was so transparent now. He was fading. So very small.
"Robin!" I grabbed the flame. His body was there. It was transparent but I held his soul. He was closing his eyes.
Please open for me. I thought
And he slowly opened and blinked.
His eyes that held love and adoration were empty and dull
"Who are you?" I almost sobbed.
A sacrifice has to be made
My life and my memories
"Robin. It's me? Remember?" he was still looking at me as if I was another soul lost.
"I do not...remember." He said and all I want to do was shake him so bad. Shake and hug and kiss him till I forget that this was real. That this was the end.
"But..." as my tears started falling he reached for my cheek. His hands were nothing but air. It felt like air but it was warm. I want to hold them forever.
"I sense that you are something special in me. I can sense that. In here." He pointed at his soul. I smiled and closed my eyes.
You have a way with words Robin. You always have
I held his hand, took a deep breath and smiled as wide as I could.
"Thank you Robin!" I all but screamed. I didn't mind that all the souls could've heard. I don't mind that Raven might hear that or Trigon will. I want to say the words right to his face.
"I LOVE YOU ROBIN!" he looked at me curiously but his eyes was wide with adoration and warmth.
"I love you till the end and I will continue to love until then. Please choose to reincarnate or please reincarnate. I will wait for you until I see you again until your soul and mine will meet again. Promise that you will wait for me as well. I will wait until I die. Until your soul and mine meets and until we are reborn in the same or different worlds. I will wait and hope we will meet by fates chance and fall in love again. You have been my greatest love and a love like ours will last more than one lifetime." I looked at him and for one final moment gave him a light kiss. I can't say anything less than perfection. It was all I could say.
"Robin!" I could hear voices behind me and when I looked back it was Cyborg, Beastboy and Raven smiling and crying at the same time.
"Thanks for always being the leader! For helping me in the teen titans. All these years we have been the best and I couldn't ask for a better life. You made me think I could be more that a machine that I could be helpful and thank you for everything. I love you dude!" Cyborg wiped his tears and made a whoop sound.
"Thanks for everything Robs! You always were the feisty one and every time I throw dirt and no one would yell at me I would always think of you. Red and black will remind me of you and just thanks! You made me the best beast I could ever be while I enjoy life. Thanks and love ya bro!" Beastboy gave the brightest smile he could ever muster.
"Thanks for saving me robin. It was the first time someone ever said I could be more than what my father wanted. And this is what I chose to become. Thanks for that moment everything changed. I wasn't much of a speaker nor do I express my feelings so openly but for you, there will always be an exception. Thank for being my first hero. I love you as well." Raven smiled and for the first time I cold see her feelings overflow.
"It's not just me who loves you Robin. It's everyone." He looked so confused at whom the others were but I gave him one last hug and tapped my head right next to his.
"Hold out your pinky." He held it out and so did I
"Let's pinky promise, that one day...in the future when everything is different we'll see each other again. No matter how long or who we are we'll see each other and we'll just know." He looked at me for the longest time and smiled.
"I love you Starfire." My eyes widened and his closed as he made his final descent. He remembers me?!
"and tell them I love them as well. This has been fun and everything was all just a blast." He looked at me as he was drifting away. I held onto his arms but he was letting go.
"I loved you for so long but after everything this is the only way. This lifetime might not be our time yet and maybe just maybe it might be the next." He was arms length away from me only our hands were touching now.
"Please...not yet...please." I begged. He just shook his head and kissed the back of my hand.
"Until then Star? After all this time? Will you still fall for me?" He was fading so quickly.
"Yes...Until the end I will wait." He smiled one last time before he let go completely
"Till next time." And he was gone.
And I was gone
And I felt nothing but a burst of light and warm hands.
There was never a goodbye. It was never a goodbye
Because goodbye means it's the end
And both of us know that this will not end here.
Till next time indeed.
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I actually shed a tear when I wrote this.
I'm trying my best to finish this within December and by the looks of it I think the next chapter will be the end.
So I'm sorry for the delay but I know you have been waiting for this haha
UPDATE:
My laptop was recently fixed so its not hard for me to edit some files now <3
Till the last chapter RobStars