It turned out he was right. One week later it had taken a hard push by Connor to get her to leave her room and go to school, but it had worked. Two weeks later she and Sin were back together. Everything seemed right in the world again.
While my friend had picked up the pieces of her life to try and carry on, I tried to forget about Slater by keeping busy with college.
I was sitting in the cafeteria, getting something to eat between classes. Slater monopolized my thoughts as I ate. I wanted to forget about him. I couldn't help but see him in the eyes of the strangers who passed me in the hallways. It was like he was everywhere and it was impossible to ignore him. I hadn't seen or spoken to him since the conversation we'd had at the hospital but that did nothing to fade him from my mind.
I rubbed my forehead, trying to ease the heaviness of my thoughts. The fact that my best friend was going out with Slater's best friend meant it was only a matter of time before we would have to face each other again.
Wishing I could run away and never look back was only a childish notion that I couldn't entertain no matter how badly I wanted to. The adult way to handle this would be to carry on each day, hoping time would weaken the connection we had made.
It wasn't like I'd never been with a guy before, it's just that I didn't allow an emotional connection. The ghosts from my past always reappeared to keep me from moving forward. I usually dispensed with guys before things got too serious. But this thing I'd shared with Slater had been more intense.
I closed my eyes briefly when I remembered my semi-emotional meltdown with Slater.
"Hey, beautiful," someone said, pulling me out of my heavy thoughts. I looked up to see Steven. I hid my inner turmoil with a carefree smile.
"You haven't called me back," he said, and I tried to come up with a valid reason, other than the fact that I couldn't get a certain tattooed guy off my mind.
We had gone out on a date before Taylor had been taken. The date had gone okay and we had gotten along. But even deep down I had to admit Slater had occupied my thoughts through most of it.
"I'm sorry," I said. "Things have been a bit hectic." It was the understatement of the year.
"You don't need to make excuses. I'm man enough to take a brush-off," he replied with a dismissive shrug.
I shook my head. "No, that wasn't my intention at all."
Taylor's situation had taken over and nothing else had mattered. He held my gaze as he considered what I said.
"So you want to go out again sometime?" he asked. I had enjoyed our date even though he didn't make me feel the way Slater did. It was what I wanted—not to feel. He was attractive, with dark brown hair and caramel-colored eyes that sparkled with mischief. He wasn't intense and complicated.
"Yes."
What did you do when you fell off the proverbial horse and hurt yourself? You didn't cower away in fear; no, you got right back on the horse and that was what I was doing. If Taylor could face her fears, then I could do this.
I knew my way around guys. Except for Slater, a voice in my mind reminded me. I ignored it. I allowed guys close in a physical sense but not on an emotional level. Slater had been the first one to make me feel the way I did, and I hated the weakness.
The sooner I moved on the better.
He leaned closer and I gave him a flirty smile, knowing exactly how to play the game. I knew my best features and how to show them off to get what I wanted.
"You free on Friday?" he asked casually.
"Yes."
He gave me a brilliant smile as he straightened up. He was tall, so I had to look up to keep our eye contact. He was fit and lean. It was attractive. Physically he would be compatible, and that was what mattered.
"That's great," he said. "I'll pick you up at eight."
"Sure." His smile was infectious.
I had a rule of three dates before I slept with a guy. Slater had been the only guy I had come close to breaking that rule with. Two more dates with Steven and we could take things to the next level.
I hoped it would be enough to wipe Slater from my mind. But like all my previous interludes with the opposite sex, it would never be anything more than a physical connection.
"I will see you at eight," he said, and I nodded.
My eyes followed him as he left. I had a plan to get over the bad boy who had hurt me. It made me feel stronger and in control.
It only took the sound of my ringtone and a quick look at the screen to release the control I had gained. I stared at the screen and debated whether to answer it or not. She would keep calling until I did.
On the fourth ring I answered it reluctantly.
"Hi, Mom."
"Hi, darling," she said.
There was a moment of silence as my past washed over me, leaving my lungs tight and unable to breathe as I gripped the table.
"You haven't called. Did you forget you have a mother?"
One breath in and another breath out.
"Sorry, Mom," I managed to get out. My voice came out calmer than the turmoil unleashed inside of me. "I've been busy with college and stuff."
It was weak but I didn't feel comfortable telling my mom about Taylor and what happened to her. Most moms made their children feel safe and loved, but mine reminded me of a childhood I was still trying to outrun. I couldn't help how I felt. It wasn't like my mom had been a bad mother, she'd been kind and loving, but she reminded me of a past I was still trying to forget.
"I've missed you," she said, pulling hard at my heartstrings. It was like a physical pain in my chest.
"I miss you too." I softened my voice.
"When are you going to come home for a visit?" I could feel the guilt creep up in me.
It wasn't that I didn't want to see her, I did, but going home was difficult. As soon as I walked into my house it took me back to a time I didn't want to relive. I rubbed my forehead, trying to collect my thoughts.
Concentrate on now, I told myself so I didn't slip back into the nightmare of my past.
"As soon as I get a chance." It was vague.
"So how's it going?" she asked.
I wanted to keep the conversation short but I couldn't give her the brush-off. I began to tell her about my coursework and the workload.
For the brief few minutes of talking about college, the dark feelings inside me receded and I could talk without having to concentrate on my breathing.
"Any cute guys?" was her next question.
"Yeah," I replied, not wanting to go too in depth on this subject.
"Any special ones?" she asked, like only mothers would.
"Not really."
I wouldn't reveal there was only one guy on my mind. A guy who'd spun my world out of control and I was trying to fight my way back, holding on so I wouldn't get swept away. I closed my eyes briefly and an image of Slater appeared in my mind with those come-to-bed blue eyes. I shook my head to rid myself of the image.
"There's no rush," she assured me. "You have plenty of time to meet the right one."
I loved my mom but she lived in a fairytale, despite Father treating her like a doormat before he finally ran off with some girl young enough to be his daughter when I had been a young child. Even through all of that heartbreak and betrayal, she still believed in happily-ever-after.
I didn't. I had learned the lesson that people couldn't be trusted and that there would be no 'one' for me. I wanted to concentrate on my career and be successful. That's what mattered to me.
"I'm sure I'll find him one day," I mumbled, not wanting to hurt her.
"You never know. You may have already met him."