It was a very bright and hot day of August in Forest Hills. The sun shined like crazy and the summer was in full force.
Even though it was the best moment of it, you could tell summer was coming to an end, and when those days used to come I would always feel anxious.
I could already feel what was about to come. Clouds covering the sun on a daily basis, days getting shorter, cold hands and noses.
However, it was pretty hard to think of that, as that day was sultry. That very morning I woke up with my shirt glued to my body. Sweaty days like those forced me to wash my hair everyday.
Although it was steamy hot, I still wanted to have breakfast with hot chocolate milk. It was the one habit I could never escape. Even if I lived in the desert, I would still want hot chocolate milk.
"Let's go to MacDonald Park." I met Andrew Hook on the Yellowstone Boulevard junction with Clyde Street; he lived there. I lived right in the middle of Clyde Street. The distance between our houses was like two minutes.
I hated Clyde Street.
I mean, Forest Hills had a lot of nice and spacey neighborhoods.
Clyde Street was all small and narrow, and the houses were all so close to each others, and all the trees, it made me claustrophobic. And, anyway, let me tell you, living in the same house for fifteen years gets pretty boring.
You could tell you were leaving Clyde Street when the sun would appear suddenly as if there had been an eclipse right before.
Clyde Street was anti-sun.
"Why not Yellowstone Park?" I asked referring to the park I preferred.
"I don't want to walk too much." Andrew Hook was overweight. He had always been. As of late, he was starting to lose weight, but he still wasn't exactly fit. That day you could see the sweat on his forehead, as he gasped while walking.
"So, you haven't changed your mind about High School, have you?" he then asked, straight to the point.
Well, Andrew and I used to hang out quite a lot, especially during the summer. I have many memories of me and him going to MacDonald Park every other day since we were little. We weren't, like, bros. We never really talked about our personal stuff, we just used to hang out and have fun.
"I haven't changed my mind, no..." I replied, "I'm still coming to Flushing High."
"That's good! It'll be awesome!"
"I don't know how awesome going to school can be..." I smirked, "but yeah... fresh start... I guess."
Until that moment, I thought I would have never managed to escape status quo.
I had had the same classmates for eight years, from elementary school to that year. And there's really nothing to know about that. I never managed to befriend any one of them.
They all acted like assholes to me, all the time. There was not one nice boy, or nice girl, who would come to me and try to get to know me.
Instead, they used to create those little groups and I always ended up being the outsider.
I had a crush. She was blonde and had big blue eyes. My taste has changed through the years, but, at the time, she was all I could think about.
Unfortunately, though, she was a bitch.
When I, somehow, found the courage in me to tell her how I felt about her, she just walked away from me. And she never talked nor looked at me anymore.
As soon as we reached the park, Andrew ran for a bench to sit on, still gasping.
The park was populated by old people. They would go there, sit and talk about their days, enjoying nature. The park itself was quite small, only had some trees and a circle of concrete surrounded by benches. We sat on our usual bench and stared at the little kids playing. It reminded me of how, when we were kids, we would lay there on the grass and play with cards; Yu-Gi-Oh mostly.
Now we wouldn't play anymore, we would just look at the kids playing, and it made me rather sad.
I hated the concept of growing up. Changing interests, leaving toys and comic books behind for cigarettes and alcohol. I never actually took part in that madness. I never had a drink, nor smoked a cigarette. I still collected toys, and still read comic books. And, apparently, that's what made me socially awkward. But I didn't like what other teenagers liked. I didn't want to become boring by doing boring activities.
Andrew was a bit like me, but he was kind of starting to change habits. He had convinced me to go to Flushing High School with him.
"It's ridiculous," he had said, "We've known each other for a lifetime and we've never been to the same school. You have to come there."
My first idea was Forest Hills High School. Because, first, it was closer to my house, and, second, it focused a bit more on the stuff I liked.
But I thought it was no big deal. It's just high school, there's no difference.
As Andrew rubbed a hand on his curly brown hair and started talking about the latest videogame, my mind drifted away.
I started thinking about high school. How it was going to be a fresh start. How I could have redeemed my status and actually made friends, despite my social awkwardness. And, who knows, maybe a little love story.
I was a newbie at it all. I had no idea what I was going to find. All I knew came from books and films, and it rather scared me. Mostly because all those kids in the world of fiction looked so grownup and fitted perfectly into that teenage craziness that was high school. While me, I felt like I wouldn't fit. I didn't see myself as grownup as all others (if that can be considered grownup).
At that age, everyone started to build their style, buy new clothes, spike their hair. Me, I was still wearing random clothes and barely trying to get my hair into a quiff.
And, moreover, those fictional characters started relationships just like that, from the moment they got into high school. Which looked crazy to me, given my past experience.
But maybe, a few weeks from then, things would have changed. Maybe I would have not been seen as the freak anymore. Maybe I would have found the one.
I had never really thought about my sexuality before. There was a time, growing up, that I thought I was gay. I wasn't into girls that much, but then, when the alleged puberty touched me, I started seeing girls, whilst finding boys kind of attractive too.
"So basically he's gay." Andrew called me back to Earth.
I shook my head and, still baffled, I said "Wh-What? Who?"
He closed his mouth and wrinkled his brow in a single motion. "The main character!"
"Oh. Yeah. Right. Sorry, you lost me there" I was relieved, somehow I managed to think that he might have read into my mind.
His eyes fell on my legs. "What were you thinking about?"
"You know," I sighed, "high school."
He looked up and smiled. "I know right? It's going to be awesome. I heard that people there are great. We'll make a lot of friends."
"Aren't you a little afraid?" I mumbled.
"Why should I be? I'm sure it'll be great!" His face looked legitimately confident, "I heard there are some beautiful girls too."
I felt my pupils dilating. "I hope it'll be like you say..."
He shrugged. "Of course it will. Besides, we'll be together, you know."
His words did comfort me, but not enough to let the anxiety disappear. How was he doing that? How could he not feel the slight bit of pressure? Was he really not afraid of not being liked like I was?
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