Dedicated this chapter to the person who found the hidden heart first. :)
THIRTY THREE
Later in the evening, I'm sitting on the living room floor, painting my toe nails on newspaper. I chose a glossy shimmery gold, in contrast to the matte rose gold I have on my fingernails. I admit it, I don't know what I'm doing. But it's a distraction and that's what I really need now. My dad is back at home, watching TV, the blue light from the screen illuminated the small scar under his right eye, swollen and livid. He catches me staring.
"I should be getting ready, I know, I know." He grins.
He and my mom are going to dinner later, even though she was giving him the silent treatment for the whole afternoon. Right now, she's upstairs getting ready, anyway. I should be getting ready too, but I don't even feel like going to the dance anymore. I figure if I do everything extra slowly, I can just miss it.
I wish. Ms Fitz would come and get me herself.
I shake my head at my dad. "Nope, not even that." I say, getting back to my toes, "I'm talking about this morning. About you and Mr Pinkette."
My dad makes a face then sighs, "Yeah, I figured." He says, changing the channel with the remote, "I forgive him, I'm not even going to press charges."
"Of course you shouldn't!" I say, "The two of you are being ridiculous, I mean, you hate each other just because you mow the lawn on different days? Seriously?"
"It's not just that." He mumbles. He reminds me of myself just sometime ago when I tried to justify my hate for Dean. And if we could get over it, Dean and I, so could they. "Someone has to be the bigger person and apologize." My dad blinks, feigning cluelessness. "I want it to be you. For Nina and me, at least."
He sighs and touches his mustache. "Your mother told me the same thing." He admits, "I'll go over there tomorrow morning."
"Good. I'm proud of you already." I smile at him, happy that all of that would be over. They'd be no more feud, Dean and I were going to be acquaintances for the rest of the school year, I was going to take the school bus and things would be normal. Heart wrenchingly normal.
He nods. Then, "Aren't you supposed to be going somewhere?"
This time, I'm the one who sighs. "Yup." I pack my things away, get up from the floor and head upstairs to get ready for the funeral of my heart.
***
My updo is suspiciously good-looking. I'm not complaining, it's just that it looks so good, I'm afraid something bad is going to happen. There are some pessimistic people in the world that don't believe a series of good things can happen to them. I think, tonight, I've turned into one of them. Maybe I'll stay that way for the whole year. Maybe my updo will be the biggest accomplishment of my life.
Ready? I startle when my phone vibrates and then freak out when I realize its Dean. My match. I hold my breath so I don't start hyperventilating. My hands are actually shaking as I type up as response and hit send.
No.You?
I don't think he's talking about being physically ready because in that case, I am. My hair is done, my make up is light and pretty and my dress is zipped up tight. I even have one of my shoes on. But emotionally?
No way.
Nope. He confesses. And then, I don't get a chance to say anything because my phone vibrates like crazy in my hand and I'm bombarded with messages from Dean.
Remember what you said at the beginning?That we wouldn't fall in love? That it's just one dance?
Well you're right.
We don't have to.
We can be friends or something.
I think I'm starting to like someone else.
My crazy neighbor.
I like her.
A lot.
I can't get her out of my head.
I'm sorry.
This is pathetic.
Can we still be friends?
For a moment, I'm very sure I can feel my heart breaking. But then I remember: I'm the crazy neighbor. Me. ♥ Valerie Blythe. I read the same three lines over and over and over. I like her. A lot. I can't get her out of my head.
Dean likes me.
A lot, apparently. And he can't get me out of his head. So then, why was he acting so weird today?
I get up form my bed and walk toward the glass door. Then, taking a deep breath, I pull back the curtains the tiniest bit and peep at Dean's bedroom. His curtains are drawn too, but I can just make out his silhouette, sitting on his bed. I glance at my phone again and reread his last message.
Can we still be friends?
And when I don't respond, I get another message:
Shit. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all that. I ruined everything didn't I?
And I think: No. You just made everything so perfectly right.
***
Downstairs, my dad, pretends to be tearful, at the sight of me 'looking all grown' and 'so beautiful'. And then, when I'm done pretending to be tearful too, he grins, back to his teasing self. He's dressed in his suit now, complete with a red tie. He sticks one hand in his pocket and with the other, gestures to my shoes and makes a concerned face.
"Sure you can walk in these things? You can always borrow my boots. They're really comfortable."
I pretend to stumble and reach for his arm. "Your wonderful work boots at my silly old dance?" I put my hand on my chest, "I'm honored, but I could never pull those off."
My dad laughs. "I'm going to pick up Nina. Your mom's outside by the way. You know how she'll want to take a thousand pictures." I nod and head toward the door, but my dad stops me. "And that boy is there too." He adds, and I'm instantly nervous.
My mom is snapping a photo of Mrs Pinkette and Dean on the lawn near the hedge, just as I'm opening the door. No one notices me at first, so I stand and watch. Dean is so much taller than his mom and she's looking up at him proudly, like he's graduating and not just going to a school dance. But I'd be proud of him too. He looks gorgeous in his tux and his fancy shoes and his hair slicked back. I watch him adjust his tie. It's a shimmery gold... just like my dress.
Oh my gosh.
Macey had predicted this.
I gasp, softly, if that's possible, but it's enough to alert everyone of my presence. My mom tilts her head to the side, smiles and starts snapping photos. Mrs Pinkette puts one hand over her mouth and the other on her chest. Dean just stares. I focus on my shoes as I walk toward them, self conscious.
"You look beautiful, honey!" Mrs Pinkette pulls me into a hug when I'm close enough, I stumble in my heels. My mom agrees and keeps snapping. Dean just stares. He stares when they point out that we match, stares when tell us to stand together, stares when I walk over to him.
"Wow." He says finally and I blush.
"Wow yourself." I say, finally relaxing, "Where'd you get that tie? I like it."
Smiling, Dean says, "Where'd you get that dress? I like it."
I laugh. "I asked first."
"Fine." Dean adjusts the knot around his neck. "My mom got it. Now you."
"Guess." I say, twirling around for him to see.
"Pixie land?" He grins, "It looks like it was made by tiny fairy fingers."
"I know, right?" I giggle and look down at it. In the dim light from the porch, the dress glows. It looks alive. When I look up again, Dean is staring at me. I look away and lick my lips, feeling that fluttery feeling again.
"Valerie." He breaths, "I need to tell you something." This time, he's the one looking away, "I think I-- No, not think, I know I--"
My mom comes over then and snaps a close up of the two of us. I squint in the light of the flash. Dean covers his face. "Mom!" I say and she grins.
"Okay, okay, sorry. That was the last one." She stands there in her long flowing dinner dress and I know she's just dying to take another. She looks from Dean to me, eyes pleading. "Please? Pleasee?"
Dean laughs. "Only because it's you, Mrs Blythe." He says, reaching for my waist and pulling me closer. His hand finds the curve. Even under the dress, I feel my bare skin tingling, electricity running down my spine, some strange and foreign feeling possessing me. I nibble my bottom lip. That was just one touch. Imagine if I had him all for myself.
"Smile, Valerie." He whispers and I do, because how can I not?