ELEVENTH | To Daegu
I.
"HINDI ka na ba galit sa'kin?"
Nakaupo na sila sa kanilang napiling upuan. Jihoon took the window seat while Seungcheol took the seat next to him after placing their baggages on the top shelves.
"Tungkol nga d'on," biglang sumeryoso ang kanina lang na chillax na mukha ni Seungcheol. "Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa'kin na kilala mo pala ang mga pinsan ko?"
Jihoon shrugged. "Gaya ng sinabi ko, maalam ako sa larangan ng pangangalap ng mahahalagang impormasyon. At hindi ko kailanman ni-re-reveal ang mga sources ko."
"Paano mo sila nakilala? At kailan pa?"
"Pagkatapos mo 'kong pinakilala sa mga kaibigan mo bilang boyfriend mo?" Jihoon answered sheepishly before nodding to himself in content. "'Yon nga. Nilapitan nila ako at nagpakilala. I also introduced myself as your boyfriend. So that's how things went."
Seungcheol glared at him.
"I was trying to help. You looked like you're troubled, okay."
"Kaya mas pinili mong makialam?"
Jihoon sighed. Alam niyang aabot ang lahat sa puntong 'to. That was a creepy move he pulled off, yes, even he admits to that. Anyone's would've crept out by that, even Seungcheol who eventually learned to get comfortable with him these past weeks. Hindi niya masisisi kung magalit nga ng tuluyan si Seungcheol sa kanya. Base sa kunot ng noo nito habang hindi lubos na makatingin sa kanya, mukhang nagsisimula na ang inaasahang reaksyon niya mula rito.
"Sorry," he mumbled softly, but enough for Seungcheol to hear it. "I knew that was kind of a stretch. I know . . . IーI just don't know what else to do. G-Gusto kong makatulong sa'yo."
Hindi umimik si Seungcheol. His eyes were still anywhere but on him.
"Hindi mo kayang takbuhan na lang panghabang buhay ang mga problema mo, Seungcheol," seryosong sabi ni Jihoon. "Do you honestly think you're problem's going away if you just dodge it in any way possible? Nagkakamali ka, kasi hindi gan'on gumagana ang buhay Seungcheol. Hindi sa gan'ong paraan umiikot ang mundo."
Seungcheol stiffened at the comment but said nothing. Agad din namang itong naka-recover at natahimik. Jihoon didn't know if he went overboard but it was the truth. Seungcheol has to man up some day, and that day has come. All Jihoon did was push him off the coward cliff and off to his journey to manning up.
Kung basta-basta lang din 'yon lumabas sa bibig niya.
"Gaano na karami ang alam mo tungkol sa'kin? Gaano karami ang sinabi nina hyung sa'yo?" seryosong tanong nito.
"A lot," Jihoon admitted. "Pati na ang tungkol sa divorce ng parents mo."
Seungcheol visibly tensed again from that and sighed heavily. Mukhang natanggap na niyang wala siyang magagawa para pigilan si Jihoon na alamin ang mga bagay tungkol sa kanya. Jihoon already knew. He wouldn't lie about that part.
Yoongi revealed that bit. He said Seungcheol's parents have been divorced for a long time now. Eto ang nagpapaliwanag kung bakit nasa States ang mama ni Seungcheol samantalang nasa Daegu naman ang papa nito. Why they separated was something that involves Seungcheol. Hindi ito sinabi ng diretso ni Yoongi, pero alam ni Jihoon na may kaugnayan dito ang dahilan ni Seungcheol kung bakit ayaw nitong umuwi ng Daegu.
"Si Seungcheol ang dapat magsabi sa'yo niyan, hindi ako." Yoongi said.
"Dahil ba sa kanila kaya ka maraming nai-b-blackmail tungkol sa'kin?" Seungcheol's tone was still serious, Jihoon was starting to feel unnerved.
"No. Walang kinalaman ang mga pinsan mo sa naunang arrangement natin."
It was Seokmin spilling all the juicy information about Seungcheol.
Hindi na nagsalita pa si Seungcheol pagkatapos n'on. Jihoon decided to shut up as well. Seungcheol looked like he was contemplating on something else so he decided to leave him alone. Ipinokus na lang muna ni Jihoon ang kanyang atensyon sa dumaang scenario sa labas ng tren.
Unti-unting napalitan ng mga puno at bundok ang mga gusali ng lungsod sa labas. For a moment, Jihoon was fascinated at the unfolding scenes before him, his mouth slightly gaping at the new sight of the mountains he only sees in travel magazines. Matagal na ring panahon simula n'ong huli siyang makakita ng mga bundok at ganito karaming mga puno. He's been in Seoul most of his life, despite being originally from Busan.
Seungcheol didn't say a word after an hour.
Nang dumating na ang tren sa Dondaegu Station, nagsilabasan na ang mga tao. They were a lot, even though it's a weekday. The crowd set up an imaginary sense of haste in the atmosphere that Jihoon thought they were on a race to get off the train. Nang maisuot niya ang kanyang malaking backpack na dala, hindi na niya makita si Seungcheol sa paligid. The current of the people skidding towards the exit pinned Jihoon back to his. Sinubukan niyang tumingin sa paligid para hanapin ang nakakatanda pero hindi niya ito makita.
When Jihoon managed to get off the train in one piece, he started to panicked. Hindi naman sa hindi niya kaya ang sarili. Nasanay kasi siyang may kasama sa lahat nang panahon. Now that he's alone and in a new, foreign place . . . he felt that vague sense of panic he had lot forgotten.
Jihoon's first instinct was to stop and curl in one corner to wait. But that doesn't seem to work here with all these people, so he went along the majority of the passengers while whipping his head around on the lookout. Hindi nahagip sa mata niya ang pamilyar na tindig at pigura ng lalaking kanyang hinahanap kaya sa bawat hakbang na ginagawa niya, palaki nang palaki ang kanyang nararamdamang kaba.
He could always board another train home. He could. But that option would be for the worst-case scenario. Plus, ayaw naman niyang isipin ni Seungcheol na tinakasan siya nito.
He has money, on the bright side. He can hop on a cab. Kailangan lang niyang makapunta kung saan pwedeng kumuha ng cab.
But no, he didn't know where to go so the cab's out of the options.
Seungcheol was still nowhere to be found.
Kinapa ni Jihoon ang kanyang bulsa at napagtantong may cellphone nga pala siya. He was about to fish it out when a strong hand gripped his arm forcefully and whipped him around.
There stood a flushed Seungcheol who was panting as if he'd just run a mile.
"Nakita rin kita!" hinihingal na wika nito. His hold on Jihoon's arm was still tight, as if he's afraid to let go of it. "Saan ka ba nagsusuot?!"
"H-Hey," Jihoon greeted lamely with a small smile. Unti-unting napawi ang kanyang kaba hanggang sa napalitan ito ng saya nang makita ang mukha ni Cheol.
"Saan ka ba nagsusuot?!"
"Hinahanap nga kita e. Akala ko iniwan mo 'ko kasi nagalit ka," sagot ni Jihoon.
"Hindi ako galit. Not anymore. J-Just . . . don't disappear like that okay? Naiintindihan mo 'ko?"
Jihoon laughed softly, as if he didn't feel any sort of panic before. "Kaya ko naman ang sarili ko. Hindi ako bata."
Seungcheol held his hand firm before looking at him with tense eyes. "Hold my hand. Don't let go."
Jihoon smiled, tightening his own grasp on Seungcheol's hand.
Wala akong planong bumitiw.
"Okay."
Hinila niya ang nakababata sa isang sulok kung saan wala silang napeperwisyong mga tao habang nakatayo lang silang dalawa.
"Hindi na ako galit," sabi ni Seungcheol. He was still holding his hand. "'Wag ka nang . . . 'wag mo nang gawin ang mga bagay na 'yan sa likod ko okay? Magtanong ka na lang sa'kin at sasagutin ko lahat ng mga tanong mo tungkol sa'kin. All you have to do is ask, okay? Just ask."
Tumango si Jihoon. "Sorry."
"'Wag kang mag-sorry. Hindi na ako galit. Saka na lang tayo mag-usap ng masinsinan tungkol dito. Sa ngayon, gutom na ako," Seungcheol looked around and pointed at the other side of the station.
"May diner d'on. Tara."
He was still holding his hand as they went. Jihoon lightly squeezed Seungcheol's hand and the older squeezed back, flooding his chest with another wave of warmth.
Para kasing ayaw bumitiw ni Seungcheol sa kamay niya. Buti na lang naglagay siya ng hand lotion kaninang umaga.
"Hindi na ako mawawala, Cheol. Pwede mo nang bitawan ang kamay ko."
"Ayoko nga."
"Okay."
There was silence.
"Ayoko kasi gusto kong hawakan ang kamay mo."
Jihoon grinned. "My hand's all yours."
"Good. Now, let's eat. Hindi ako nagbreakfast."
II.
Pagkatapos nilang kumain, sumakay agad sila ng cab. Seungcheol said there was another few minutes before they reach Daegu itself. And they have to take another bus from there to their house. By this time, Jihoon was practically glued to the window looking at the far-away towering mountains outside. Ibang-iba sa puro dagat na nakikita niya sa Busan.
When he looked at Seungcheol, he was as dazed as he was at the sights outside. May ngiting naglalaro sa mga labi niya na nagpapakita sa kanyang tuwang nakauwi ulit sa bayan niya. He can tell he's just as excited as he is from that curve of his lips to the glint in his eyes.
"You missed Daegu, don't you?" tanong ni Jihoon sa kanya.
Seungcheol sighed. "Matagal na rin akong hindi umuuwi. It's nice. Ipapasyal kita sa mga parks. Magugustuhan mo ang mga bundok dito."
At nagsimula na ngang dumaldal si Seungcheol tungkol sa mga tourists spots sa Daegu na para bang isang bihasang tour guide na naka-assign na magtour kay Jihoon sa buong lugar. Jihoon listened to him intently, a small smile on his lips as his eyes dart from Seungcheol's feature to feature.
Isang panibagong Seungcheol na naman ang nakikita niya. This hyped-up puppy and grinning Seungcheol who's elated to tell him more about his hometown and everything great in it. Nag-demonstrate pa nga ito ng Daegu satoori na malakas na tinawanan ni Jihoon. A minute later they started conversing in dialects, Seungcheol in Daegu satoori and Jihoon in Busan satoori, arguing on which hometown is the best when it comes to dazzling sights.
"Okay, you win," Jihoon said after awhile.
"Hah! Sabi nang mas maganda ang Daegu e! Mwahaha!" tuwang sabi ni Seungcheol habang siniko-siko pa si Jihoon sa tagiliran.
"Sure, because Daegu has you."
Napahinto sa pagtawa si Seungcheol at tiningnan si Jihoon pagkatapos ng sinabi niya. It was a really Jihoon-like move to say that, it really was. Seungcheol should've been used to it by now. Bakit hanggang ngayon parang hindi pa rin siya lubusang nasasanay at palagi parin itong napapahinto para tingnan siya ng masama?
"What?"
"Hinay-hinay lang sa mga banat, Lee Jihoon, baka hindi na kita iuwi sa inyo."
Unti-unting ngumiti si Seungcheol nang makita ang reaksyon ni Jihoon. He could feel his cheeks warm up considerably but he brought this on himself.
That pretty much shut them both up for some reason.
III.
"Wala si mama, hindi mo makikita ang mama ko sa amin."
"She's at the States."
"Tama. D-Divorced sila."
"Mmm."
"T-Tsaka, si Lolo. Si Lolo ang makikita mo d'on, okay? Tsaka sina Yoongi hyung tsaka si Yongguk hyung. Tsaka baka pati na rin ang mga boyfriend nila."
"Himchan and Hoseok."
"Right. Himchan and Hoseok. 'Wag kang mag-alala kasi chill lang ang mga 'yon. I've met them before. S-So, um."
"Seungcheol."
"Ha?"
"I know you're nervous. Relax. Take it easy."
"M-Matagal ko na siyang hindi nakikita Jihoon. Kinakabahan ako. Haha."
"I'll be here."
"S-Sa tingin mo, magagalit siya sa'kin?"
"Your dad wanted you to come home. He wants to see you. I don't think he's mad."
"P-Pero, kasalanan ko kung bakit siya nakaratay ngayon sa higaan. Kasalanan ko kung bakitー"
"Stop. Wala kang kasalanan."
"Peroー"
"Shut up. Wala kang kasalanan. Your dad misses you. Just spend this time with him."
Silence.
"Seungcheol, lahat ng tao nagkakamali. Maraming pagkakamali ang papa mo. Ikaw at ako. Pero hindi ibig sabihin n'on, hahayaan na natin itong humadlang sa'tin para maging masaya ngayon. Whatever you did, whatever he did are all in the past. Don't you think it's time for you to stop worrying about what happened and focus on what's still going to happen?"
"H-Hindi ko pa rin alam kung paano siya harapin."
"You'll not face him alone. You have me."
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pic credit to @oozicle~ <3