A/N: Here's some old Quinn & Cody vibes for you ;)
Seventeen
Baby Steps
My perfect little plan lasted less than twenty-four hours.
In the end, it was actually Maybelline's fault. She decided to make a very obvious show of affection with her apparent new guy, some senior who Julia explained was in her math class, between second and third periods the next day. Since this particular instance of PDA was executed in the hallway, almost directly across from Elisabeth's locker, it was only natural that she would catch on.
She decided to act on this the instant she had a free second, which happened to be as I was walking towards the cafeteria to attempt a peaceful lunch.
"I thought you said Cody was dating Maybelline."
"Maybe she's cheating," I said absentmindedly, sending an SOS text to Julia as discretely as I could.
"Oh." Elisabeth contemplated this for barely a heartbeat before she said, "That doesn't explain why he passed them without a second glance on his way to theatre."
"You know his schedule?"
She rolled her eyes lightly. "Duh. Anyway, he's obviously not dating Maybelline. So nice try."
There was no response to this, so I settled for opening Snapchat and scrolling through that instead. A flurry of pre-prom photos and videos ambushed me, and my anxiety heightened tenfold.
"Talk to Cody for me, okay? Don't even sound like I asked you to. Just be like, 'hey, I think you should ask out Elisabeth.'"
"You really think we're in that kind of place right now?" I couldn't believe this girl. I'd just broken up with my boyfriend and now she expected me to approach him and give him dating advice? Maybe she was new to this whole relationship thing and all, but she should have known that wasn't how it worked.
Elisabeth reaches forward and grabs my sleeve, tugging me closer to her as if the group of freshmen skittering by would even be interested in eavesdropping. "Please, Quinn. He probably still cares about what you think. He'd want your blessing before he moved on to another relationship?"
And you think I want to give him that blessing? I thought, but in the interest of getting away from her I said, "Fine. I'll talk to him. Just don't expect anything to come from it, okay? And that means you can't tell anyone about the thing."
"As long as you try your hardest."
"Whatever." I slipped out of her grasp. "I'll try my hardest, sure."
She jumped up and down a few times, clapping her hands together in a show of glee which made me all the more eager to go find food to eat instead of talking to her. "Great!" she exclaimed. "Let's touch base before chem tomorrow."
Nodding absentmindedly, I scurried away, not bothering to look back in case she'd take that as I sign that I wanted to continue the conversation.
Of course, I knew that I did need to probably mention something to Cody about this. Elisabeth would no doubt follow up with one of us, and if she realized I hadn't done my job then I had no doubt she'd tell Cody everything. And while he needed to find out at some point, that didn't feel like the ideal time or way.
But how awkward would this conversation be? We couldn't even talk to each other about a French project, much less a relationship. I was starting to think that I needed to explore other options, some of which included getting Julia involved or blackmailing Elisabeth myself, when I spotted Cody walking alone.
This was rare. Ever since we'd broke up, Cody made a point of surrounding himself with a group of friends, and when this was impossible he at least had Sam by his side. I personally thought this was an attempt at making me think he'd moved on flawlessly from the breakup—an attempt that was slightly impaired by the fact that he was always wearing a frown. Now, though, he had his earbuds shoved in and was walking in the direction of the cafeteria completely by himself. And I knew that this was an opportunity too prime to pass up.
With a backwards glance at Elisabeth to make sure she was watching me, I retraced my steps and crossed the quad to Cody. He was focusing on something on his phone, probably re-shuffling his music playlist, and didn't even see me approach him.
"Hey," I said, coming to a stop in front of him.
He must have seen my shadow, because he straightened and yanked out one of his earbuds. When he saw me, his jaw tightened. "Quinn?"
"I, um—can we talk?" I tried to avoid the steely dark look in his eyes, focusing instead on a point just beyond the tip of one of his soft curls. It didn't help; I found myself irrevocably drawn to glancing at his face again. The glower was still there.
He slowly pulled out the other earbud, letting them dangle between his large fingers. "Shoot."
"Listen," I said, taking a conspiratorial step closer to him, "This is going to sound really stupid, but just hear me out and nod along like you agree, okay?"
He made a point of nodding once, slowly, without breaking eye contact with me.
"So you know Elisabeth from chem class, right?"
Another exaggerated nod. Taking a deep breath, I continued, not sure if he was trying to be funny or annoy me. "She's kind of holding something over my head because she's got this giant crush on you and she thinks I can do something about it."
"What can you do about it?" he asked, wrinkling his nose.
"Exactly." I was so glad he was on the same page as me. "I'm your ex-girlfriend. Obviously she shouldn't have come to me about this. But for some dumb reason she rationalizes that you won't date anyone new without my permission. Or my 'blessing,' as she called it."
"So you're giving me your 'blessing'?" He made air quotes. "Wow, Quinn, I'm really glad you've moved on so fast and expect me to do the same. Superb."
"No! I'm most certainly not giving you my blessing. No. But you do need to at least act a tiny bit interested in Maybelline for just a few days so she'll get off my case. She's stalking me. She finds me after every class to ask about you."
Rolling his eyes, he said, "Why should I do that for you?"
I clasped my hands together, well aware but I was begging but left with no other option. "Please," I demand. "Or, if you don't feel like doing that, just go up to her and say I tried but you're not interested. Emphasize that I really tried."
"Oh yeah," he said, surveying me. "You really are trying."
"So you'll do it?"
"I'll tell her you tried but I'm not interested," he conceded. After a few more seconds he asked, "What's she holding over your head, anyway?"
There was dead silence—it was so quiet I could hear the cafeteria door opening and closing as people went and got their lunches. For a little while all I could do was panic, not wanting to lie but also not able to tell the truth. Finally, I cleared my throat and said the only thing I knew to say. "Girl stuff. You wouldn't understand."
He quirked up an eyebrow but, as was typical with the male species, did not further inquire. I was about to turn around and walk away when he said, "I'm glad we're on speaking terms now."
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah." He glanced down at the ground for a second before his big eyes flicked back up to me. "And I'm sorry I broke up with you. Not sorry as in I take it back, but sorry that it had to happen."
I couldn't tell if that made me feel better or worse, but it did make my heart do a little hop. Whether it was a happy flip or a sad flop I didn't know, but at least it was something, and that something was enough to let me know that I definitely wasn't over him yet.
"I'm sorry, too," I said.
He managed a half-smile and I returned it, watching the way one side of his mouth curled up higher than the other. I stared at him for so long that I almost forgot why I was there in the first place, and that he'd just told me he was basically never going to take me back and that our breakup was justified.
"Hey, Quinn!" Suddenly Andrew was right behind me, his hands clasping down on my shoulders. I tore my gaze away from Cody as he said, "Walk with me to the cafeteria? I want to talk about prom plans."
He seemed to notice Cody for the first time when he glanced up and noticed who was my present company. "Oh," he said, his lips drawing together in a thin line. "Hey, Cody."
Cody tipped his head up in acknowledgement, but he was already putting his earbuds back in. "You guys go on," he said, pressing play on his phone. "I'll see you in Geometry, Quinn."
I wanted to say something but didn't know exactly what I should say, so I just nodded and let him walk away.
Andrew didn't ask about Cody and I didn't offer up any information; instead we both turned and started walking to the cafeteria side by side. As I craned my neck to watch Cody slip back inside the main building, I had the distinct feeling that I was leaving something very important behind.
"So I want to take you out to dinner before the prom," Andrew said, pausing to open the door to the cafeteria for us. "And then afterwards Joshua's hosting a post-prom party, if you want to go."
I couldn't say I'd ever been to a true high school party, and it seemed like it would be fun. At least I'd be able to distract myself from my impending doom. "Sure," I said. "Sounds great. Do I need to bring a change of clothes, then?"
"You probably should. You wouldn't want your prom dress to get messed up."
We slipped into line, him pausing long enough to let me step in front of him. Most of the lunch crowd had already filtered through the line and was now seated at various tables inside or outside of the building, and we made it to the pasta bar relatively quickly. I'd plopped a plate of lasagna on my plate and grabbed a banana when Andrew grabbed my arm and murmured, "Stop for a minute."
I paused in the middle of the line and let him catch up to me, so that we walked close enough tot he check-out that he could whisper without being overheard. "Have you still not told anyone about you moving?"
"No," I muttered, stabbing my lasagna with my fork. "I'll tell everyone eventually."
"Not even Cody?"
"What makes you think I'd tell him now?" I demanded. "We broke up."
He nods. "I know. But you were just talking, so I figured you were back to being friends."
It did seem like we were taking steps in that direction, but I didn't know where Cody and I were heading—or where I wanted it to go. I doubted we'd even stay friends after I moved with the current state of things, and that really hurt. But at the same time, did I really want him burdening my fresh start?
Andrew let the subject drop and I left him to eat with Julia, who I knew wouldn't question me or tell me what I should do. In fact, she seemed completely enthralled with Sam the entire time we were eating, nuzzling her head into his shoulder occasionally and feeding him bits of her fruit cup.
I was just considering leaving them alone to their love-fest when a tray plopped down beside me and I caught a whiff of Cody's familiar cologne.
"That was a nightmare," he said, shoving a bite of lasagna in his mouth.
I wasn't sure whether he was talking to me or Sam, who was currently whispering in Julia's ear, so I stayed silent.
"Elisabeth can't take a hint," he explained.
"You talked to her?"
He put down his fork long enough to stare at me pointedly. "I told you I would," he said. "And it seemed like the sooner I got it over with, the better. So I told her you were trying your best to hook us up but I just wasn't interested, and she needed to let it go."
"What'd she say after that?" I asked nervously. There was a good chance that Elisabeth would take this bad news as a direct result of me not trying hard enough and therefore tell him everything.
"There were some tears, a few incoherent threats..." He took another bite of pasta and added, "She's really pissed, obviously. Apparently she really does like me. I don't know how I never noticed."
I didn't know either. After all the days she stared at him in chemistry class, laughed at all his worst jokes, and gave me the death glare when I went close to him, it seemed perfectly obvious to me.
"So are you excited for prom this weekend?" he asked, changing the topic completely.
Caught off guard, I turned towards him. "You want to talk about that?"
"We're friends now. I don't think that's an off-limits topic, do you?"
I shook my head furiously. "I'm looking forward to it," I said. "Not because it's Andrew or anything, but because it's prom. My dress is really pretty and I'm excited to see what all the hype's about."
"What color's your dress?"
"Blue." Squinting my eyes at him, I asked, "You're trying to picture it, aren't you?"
He shrugged. Turning back to my lunch, I said, "I wish you could see it."
"I'm sure I'll see pictures on Instagram."
I couldn't tell if his comment was passive aggressive or not, so I didn't respond. He seemed to close up, too; he angled away from me and kept eating his lunch, his head lowered towards his plate. I was right to have been shocked when he'd brought up prom—we clearly weren't at the point where we could talk about things like that, after all.
I watched him continue to eat until his plate was almost empty, and then I looked across the table at Julia and Sam. They were still as fascinated with each other as ever, and neither even seemed to have noticed that Cody had sat down. I remembered when my infatuation had made me that oblivious. Those had definitely been happier days.
Glancing back at Cody, I realized it was progress that he was even sitting at the same lunch table as me. Break-ups were hard, especially under the conditions we'd faced. It was a miracle that we were even talking to each other after the way we'd both treated each other. Maybe we wouldn't have enough time to heal completely before I moved away, but at least we were both trying. And that fact made me feel a lot better, because even if Cody was still justifying his reasons for breaking up with me, at least he did still care—even if it was just as a friend.