"Where are you? I came home for lunch, thinking you'd be here, and you're not."
"I'm at the hospital. You'd know this if you'd been listening to me last night."
"You told me last night?"
"Yes, Daniel, I did."
"When?"
"During dinner."
"Before or after you said that my cooking was nice?"
"After."
"In that case, I wasn't listening. I was still in shock from the compliment you gave my culinary skills."
"I don't think putting grated cheese into a bowl of baked beans, microwaving it for a few minutes and then pouring it over toast can be classed as culinary skills, but ok."
"Let me bask in the glory of it for a little while longer before you really burst my bubble."
"Fine. Anyway, I'm at the hospital."
"For what reason?"
"Lucas' check up. He didn't want to bring Mum or Dad and Charlotte's busy trying to save her business from being taken over by an arsehat Frenchman."
"..."
"Daniel?"
"Yeah, I'm trying to work out which thread of that conversation I want to follow first."
"..."
"How is Lucas' check up going?"
"Good, I think. Luc went into a room with some doctors and left me to wait for him outside. Not entirely sure why I'm here, to be honest."
"You can fill me in on it all later, then, after he's seen the doctors. Now, what's this about Charlotte saving her business?"
"Some wanker from France is trying to force her to sell La Petite Pâtisserie. So far, she's been doing pretty well in avoiding him but now, he's trying a different tactic."
"Which would be?"
"The Charm Offensive."
"No idea what that means."
"He's going to charm her into selling to him."
"Will that work?"
"Doubtful. Since Brogan, Charlotte's been pretty anti-men, so it'll take a miracle before she'll get with another guy. Still, I'm sure she'll have fun watching the guy try to put the moves on her."
"Urgh... Brogan."
"Yeah, Daniel, I get it- you were never really a fan."
"Nope."
"Will you still be home in about an hour?"
"Probably not. I've got some papers to file. Three of my clients are all petitioning divorce on the same day."
"Why?"
"Because there's one that's going to be scandalous enough to bury the other two when it comes to the press."
"I don't get it."
"They're all high profile but one is going to be front page news. Because of that, the other two cases will pass under the radar, barely getting a mention in the press. I advise my clients to do that if there are children involved. Who wants to see their parents' divorce play out in the newspapers?"
"Clever."
"I know."
"So, you're going back to work?"
"Yep. I'm just going to save one of your shoes from the mouth of Jaws and then I'll be off."
"Jaws?"
"Hetty."
"Oh."
"..."
"She has my shoes?!"
"Yep."
"Which ones?! Daniel, stop her!"
"I am."
"Seriously, stop her!"
"I did!"
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Oh, thank God. So, which shoes are they?"
"Um... the funny looking ones with the cogs on them."
"Not my Charlotte Olympia shoes!"
"..."
"..."
"They have a gold spider web design on the soles."
"My Charlotte Olympia shoes!"
"Were they expensive?"
"Yes."
"How expensive? Like, a hundred?"
"Try nine."
"Nine hundred?!"
"You'll have had change out of that. Granted, it wouldn't have been much, but you know..."
"Nine hundred pounds for an ugly pair of shoes? There is something wrong with you."
"Tell Hetty that Mummy is going to have words with her when she gets home."
"-Hetty, Mummy says that she's very disappointed in you. No more eating shoes. But good girl for making sure that it wasn't Daddy's watch again.-"
"That is not what I said."
"I'm paraphrasing."
"You're lying."
"I'm being gentle. Good cop, bad cop. Remember?"
"And why am I the bad cop?"
"Because you like to shout."
"I don't."
"You do. That's probably why Hetty doesn't listen to you."
"Because I shout?"
"Yes. I must say, this training thing isn't going so well."
"I'll sign her up for obedience classes."
"Haha."
"I mean it."
"I'm sure you do, baby."
"Daniel?"
"Yes?"
"Go back to work."
"Haha, ok."
"I'll see you later."
"'Gator."
"Whatever, baboon."
"That's the spirit!"
"Weirdo."
"Takes one to know one."
"How old are you?"
"Old enough to know better, probably."
"I'm hanging up now."
"Ok."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I can still hear you breathing, Soph."
"..."
"..."
[Call ended.]