I had referred to you only
as "Purple Sweater"
on my list
of weight loss goals.
But you aren't really purple
you are more special
than a common purple
in definition
you are plum colored.
You were a treat
a present
to allow myself
when I reached a certain weight
because you were so pretty
and wonderful.
You are soft
and thick
and most of all you fit
very well
almost tight,
comfortably snug.
I had waited
many weeks
to be able to wear you.
So
today
in elation
I had climbed the cellar stairs
to pull you over my head
ceremoniously
and smile at my reflection
because you really are
a wonderfully soft
thick sweater
and you looked great
on my restricted body.
And everybody commented
on how great you looked
and I knew inside
that even though you were new
and they hadn't seen you before
they really complimented me
on my self control
and my ability to lose weight.
Any time
someone said
"Nice sweater"
or
"I like it too"
I know
they are inwardly impressed
by the way my hands are becoming bony
and how I have to wear a belt
to make my pants fit.
And because I loved you so much
I didn't wear my bracelet
because I didn't want the bells
that remind me not to eat
to catch
on the sleeve.
I thought
that my love for you
would be all that I would need
to keep me from eating
the biscuits
and the chocolate
and the cereal
and the meat.
I was wrong.
And I'm sorry
that you were given the impression
that I was strong enough
worthy enough
to wear you.
I'm sorry that I accidentally
got tears on you
because you were supposed to be
untainted
and pure.
I'm sorry that I was not strong enough
and it would kill me
to have to put you back
in the bag you came in
and not wear you for a while
just because
of a mistake I made.
I hope
you can forgive me
and wait patiently
for the day
when I can pull you on my body again
and you can give me warmth
when I need it most.
I thank you for being such a good sweater
even if it was just
for one day.
And I hope I will be able
to wear you soon.