*PROLUGUE**
This is me
I wasn't born like this
But I think it is just real to be the unlucky me
I love to be in the dark
Like to show no spark
I don't want to show who I am by the way
I always hide on my hoodie
Which I always stay through the day
I know I'm revulotionary
That all of them States its scary
Revulotionary in two ways,
Being wet,
Wet with my big droplets of tears
Cause by the past
and being Dry
Dry by my thoughts that my dreams were hopeless,
I'm just this kind of mess
Who will pick a daisy
among the bunch of roses in the field
Coz its just me,
"HOODIE"
~kenneth~
Yey,, I finally finished my poem for today.
*knock*
"Come in" I mutter..
"So what's going on for the first two weeks of the class?
Mom smiling at me sweetly , while sitting beside my bed .
" actually it was just fine " I said coldly
"You always said it sweetheart. Tell me what happen during those two weeks while I'm away,," mom said looking at me playfully.
"Nothing too important you know. Same as always."
I reply while shrugging my shoulders.
>>well this is what actually happens everyday. I'm cold to her. Its not like I don't want her. The thing is , that, I just want her to give more time about our family. She always mind her business since dad died. Well I can't blame mom, to act like that way. Just to ease and forget the pain she feels. She's not the only one who feels pain, even me and my lil. Bro. Couldn't she make some more attention to us? maybe family bonding can help us, ease the pain inside. Which is cause by the death of our father two years ago. But I can't actually said it to her, because I'm cold.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
............................
"Hey! Ken... Wait" sharlene calls me out. She's my only friend here at school. Coz actually I don't care anyone.
"Hey, I heard your mom's home already. " she said to me grinning
"Here." I gave her a set of makeup kit from England.
Since mom came from England for her business, and I really know about Sharlene. She likes makeup kit.
"Whoow ,, thanks ken.. Another collection of mine. I love you ken" she said while half hugging me.
"I'm late bye! See ya later." I said . since we don't have same classes . were in grade 11 and I'm major in photography. While she's major in culinary.
I sit at the middle line, beside the window. While pulling my hoodie down , where my hoodie almost covers my whole face.
My classmates get silence. Maybe sir. Capen just entered the classroom.
"Hey, yohw.. How's you doing guys?? " some unfamiliar voice talk at the front of the class.
-.- its Kirk. One of the famous boys here in school. Why are they here??
He's with his famous friends, zairus, hajizou (a half Japanese guy) and alster (the coolest guy in the school. All of the girls here in school, said he was perfect in appearance. Well we can't deny it. He's totally what you call "every girls dream" )
They are every girls dream. That's why all of the girls stares at them everytime .The thing is, why are they here? This is not there class.. But, who cares! I don't care.. Whatever,,
"There's a party tonight at zairus house. It will be fun guys.. Were inviting you all to come. You wanna go girls??
Kirk continued Speaking with full confidence, knowing that all of them will come. Specially girls. You know If I'm a fan girl, I would never refuse it. But the thing is. IM NOT...
*sigh* finally classes done.
I'm going to wait for the school bus.
" hey ken! Did you heard the invitation of kirk?" Sharlene said with sparkling eyes ,as she's approaching. As I thought, she's going to that party. Coz she has a crush on that lad zairus. Since grade 9, long time dreaming isn't it?...
"Yup. He entered in our classroom .. This morning at the first subject. Actually." I reply. While still waiting for the school bus at the gate.
"You coming? " she ask while grinning.
I just stare at her. Coldly..
"Ohw, ken , I know that... You won't come.. So,, what I'm going to do there? I don't have some acompany there!! Ken?" Convincing me , pouting, and blinking her eyes like a puppy. Like I will.. I know, she don't actually acompany sossy girls. Even though she's a kind of pretty girl. A hot one actually. But, no way I won't go there. Never.
"The school bus is here Sharlene gotta go. Enjoy the party. Bye, sorry" I said while entering the bus.
"Okay bye,, text me later" she said. She knows, that I only said apologies or comforting words ,to her in the text.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
...............................
@house @
" hey, en.. Where's mom?"
My lil. Bro. Gab ask me. Well he actually call me en.
"Room." I said while taking some brownies from the ref.
"Whoow, that's new! Who knows?" He said while pouring some juice in a glass.
" tsss. ...." I just made my way upstairs.
I get my phone, and texted Sharlene.
To Sharlene:
I'm really sorry shar, I just don't like those kind of stuffs. Just be confident. It will be fine. I know you can do it. :) enjoy bye.
That's why I'm better on texting . coz I can send Smiley's which express my feelings or emotion's. Rather than in personal, I don't give emotions. When I try to smile, I just look like a grinning dog. It sucks!
So I prefer not to smile. Just poker..
From Sharlene:
There you go.. You smile.. Thanks ken. Love yah,, I use the makeup kit you gave me. Its really pretty nice. Bye . see yah,, :) :*
Pssh,,,,
oh, wait, I forgot....I know how to smirk, and I'm good on doing that.
I face at my PC playing the game I really love. Here in the game, I can actually do what I can't do in real life. Like having lots if chitchat to others. I am playing this game for almost year. My character is a male. I'm in the last and highest league. And in my league I'm in the top 10 . Not bragging actually, its the truth. *smirk *
Midnight comes.
*door opens*
"Hey its midnight already. Your still playing??" Sharlene said while smiling at me.
"Why you here? Is the party over? " I ask while still facing at my PC.
"No, I just left there, early. Its kinda bored." She said smugly, sitting at my sofa, taking off her hills. (Killer hills actually)
"He doesn't notice you right?"
"TSS... As you thought. *with a sad face* Ohw, ken I don't know what to do with this dreams of mine. I think I should just let it be gone." She said sadly. Shrugging her shoulders.
"I don't know,, maybe yes, maybe not." I said while having chitchat with my co-player at the game. A female character actually. She's the rank one in this game, she's awesome and cool.
"There you go, you only smile when your playing that game ken" she said staring straight to me.
"Did I?? I don't know" I said, wondering too. Was I?? Well she usually said that. That I'm smiling while playing this game. I actually felt happy, but I don't know if I'm smiling or not. Since I don't know how to smile.
"You know, maybe I should tell the world to act or to dress like the game you playing, just to make you smile everyday" she said playfully.
"Pssh..."
"Now what? You'll just going to smirk? After I use my brilliant smart, mind, just to think how to make you smile everyday?? That's it?!" She said sarcastically.
*sigh*
"Okay, did you know how, comforting it is to see you smile ken? When you smile, its like I can see the whole world sweetly smiling at me. Your beautiful ken. Specially when you smile." She said truthfully, facing at me. She smiles sweetly. I know.. Sharlene will act like this way, if she's saying it from the heart actually. But I don't know, I don't smile. Maybe, I smile but, I just don't notice it...
Since Sharlene left, this was the only thought in my mind.
"How to smile? Can I smile normally? Smile? Smile?smile.."
Ohw, it will just drain my whole brain off.
I can't really imagine my self smiling...
*smirk*
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Hey , so what do you think about the first chapter? :)
Well you see Kenneth is a girl actually.
This first chapter is talking about her situation, and what she is. But not actually telling all the details. You will know about more details in the next chapters. Well actually the picture above? I just found it somewhere in the google. I'll replace it soon..
Hope you like it guys, I know its kinda short. If you like it please vote and comment down..
Thanks :)
Blue@17