Clarke heard the doors creak open and Lexa enter the room carefully. She calmly continued collecting her clothes and belongings together.
She could feel Lexa's eye on her for quite sometime before Lexa finally said, "What are you doing?"
"Collecting my stuff," Clarke replied calmly. "I will vacate the room before sundown, don't worry, Commander."
Lexa noticed the coldness in her voice when she said the word Commander.
She gulped. She honestly had no idea what she could tell Clarke to make her feel any better.
"I didn't ask you to leave... I don't want you to leave," Lexa said.
Clarke finally turned to face Lexa. Lexa's heart skipped a beat as she saw Clarke. Clarke's eyes were red and puffy, the light in them gone out.
"You did actually, just in a roundabout way," Clarke said. The strange calm in her voice scared Lexa. The Clarke she knew was hot-headed and impulsive. Not this calm and composed under distress.
Lexa walked closer to Clarke in a desperate attempt to get through to her. "I tried to tell you today morning, Clarke. I am the Commander. I will always have to take decisions for my people even if..."
"Tell me what Lexa?" Clarke said, her voice cracking through the calm she had imposed upon herself. "That you are getting married to the daughter of the man who killed my father and imprisoned me? And what? You're keeping me in the sidelines with some stupid decorated post as a guard?"
"I... I didn't realise that would offend you Clarke. I just wanted-"
"To keep me in the sidelines, like I said." Clarke said, raising her voice. "You might be the mighty Commander, Lexa, and I might be in love with you, but never for one second take my love as weakness. You don't get to marry someone and come to me seeking comfort whenever you are hurt."
"Clarke," Lexa said, her voice cracking. She fought back the tears threatening to spill. What had she done. "You're free to do as you choose. And I... Yes, I was wrong I see. It wasn't my intention to disrespect you in any way..."
"A little too late for that, Commander. A little too late for everything."
"I had to do this. There wasn't any other option."
"There is always another option, Alexandra."
"How else would you have me forge an alliance?"
Clarke smiled through her tears," That's the difference between you and me, Lexa. You'd always be my priority. Not some alliance.... But then, maybe I'd feel different if I had a clan..."
"You are NouKru, Clarke."
"Oh please, we both know that's bullshit. Seriously, why did you appoint me Lexa? I'd be a lousy guard?"
"There's noone I trust with my life more." Lexa said, and sat down, burying her head in her hands. "I'm sorry Clarke. I'm so sorry."
Clarke knelt down in front of Lexa till their faces were at the same level. She looked into those dark green eyes and all she could see was pain and hurt. At the end of the day, this was just a nineteen year old carrying the burden of the world on her shoulders. For a second, Clarke almost forgave her. Almost. And then she remembered that she would soon no longer to able to spend time like this with Lexa.
"Don't...don't do this Lexa...please..."
"Come with me to Polis, please."
"You realize what you're asking from me, right?"
"I know. And I need you there with me. I won't be able to do this alone."
Clarke stayed silent for sometime as she tried to weigh the consequences. She knew that the closer she was to Lexa, the more this was going to hurt. But she was in too deep. She couldn't leave Lexa alone to deal with this alone. She knew Lexa was hurting as much as she was.
She nodded.
"The things I do for love," she managed a weak smile.
---
Raven and Octavia were awake and waiting for Clarke when she entered the tent and dropped her bag on the ground unceremoniously.
They looked at each other, unsure of what to say.
"It's ok, you guys can talk about it. I'm not going to explode." Clarke said, and plopped down on her mattress, sighing.
"We can always smother that Costia bitch with a pillow in her sleep, jussayin" Raven said, trying to lighten the mood.
"Appreciate the plan, but I don't love those metal plates for beds in jail, thanks!"
"And you had what in that NouKru rig? Fur pelts for beds?" Octavia rolled her eyes.
"So you taking up the offer?" Raven asked.
"The Commander's Guard? Hmm...I guess I am..."
"You know that you'll have to be around Lexa 24x7...even when...you know...Costia is there..."
"Yes. I can't leave her alone, Ray. She already has too much to fight. Not me too," she sighed.
"Sheesh...You'll be like the second or third most important person in Polis then... The Personal Guard of the Commander of the Five Clans!"
"I'm in half minds to run away to Azgeda and unleash Nia on these damned Jahas."
"Wait up, I got something," Raven said, and pulled out a joint from her pocket.
"Is that...damn that looks like good stuff!" Clarke said, realising.
"Sweeeeet" Octavia smiled.
As Clarke took a long deep drag, and blew the smoke out, she felt her body relax, and everything she had been holding back came crashing upon her.
Half an hour later, the three girls were sprawled on the tent floor, the tent filled with copious smoke.
"It'll get better, man,"Raven said.
"Yea, we will kidnap Lexa!" Octavia giggled.
"You mean Costia," Raven pointed out.
"Yea, I dunno why I confused the names. One is Heda. One is wanheda."
"No duh! Clarke is wanheda... She's the one the Heda wants... See? Clarkey?"
Both of them turned to look at Clarke who was lying down, curled into a foetal position.
"Hey... hey Clarkey... We'll figure out a way, C'mon!" Raven stumbled over to where Clarke was, and hugged her.
"I love her. She knows it... Why did she have to do this?" Clarke half shouted, half sobbed. "Stupid, stupid Lexa!"
"Stoooooopid Lexa!" Raven chimed in. "Hey... Are we stoned?"
"I think." Octavia tried to sit up. "I feel so sad for our Clexa, man."
"What's a Clexa?"
"A Clarke and a Lexa," Octavia giggled.
"Lexa and Costia are so Lostia man... Totally sucks!"
"Will Lexa really, really-really say the 'I do' and marry her?" Clarke asked more to herself.
"Grounders kneel and swear fealty. Saw a marriage last year," Raven said.
"Heda kicks people out of towers..hehe" Octavia suddenly said.
"You got one fluffy scary racoon, Clarke," Raven laughed.
"Tell that to Lexa, and I'll give you my double edged sword," Clarke said.
"Tell me what Clarke?"
All three of them lifted their heads to see Lexa stand at the tent flap.
"Ooh goddamn" Raven swore.
"Umm Bellamy told me all of you were well, not quite fit for the journey to Polis tomorrow and I came to check." Lexa mumbled, looking uncomfortable.
"It's ok, we don't totally hate you. Yet." Raven assured her.
"Yea, you broke our Clarkey's heart, Commandress...commandle... commanders.." Octavia said.
"I'll be super important in Polis, shuttup!" Clarke said, sitting up.
"Clarke you sure you will be up for tomorrow's journey? I don't want everyone questioning my decision to appoint you."
Clarke smiled and looked at Lexa. "Ill be alright, Lex. I'm up for anything. For you, a thousand times over."
--
A/n: Just a small note. Reminder that even if there will be a few chapters where nothing will go in favour of Clarke or Lexa, it'll be still full of Clexa. Hope you're enjoying the story😀