"The smell of blood is stronger
than the burned now,
too strong for the
night wind to blow away."
†††
The heat on my skin forced me awake, choking for air as the ash rained from the sky. My limbs were numb, aching from laying still for far too long. My eyes shoot open, the sky was a dark grey with its angry pieces floating down around me. Fear washed over my skin, my burning skin.
"Enid?" I rasped, "Carl?" I use all my strength to roll over, hearing Biters not too far away from where I laid. I felt like death. There was nothing much left now. I didn't want to be here anymore in that moment that engulfed me.
"Re-Renegade..." I hear Carl, "over here." He sounded like he was in pain. I get up on my weak legs, stumbling forward. Falling to my knees as a sharp pain explodes in my side. My hands shake, touching the now cold hole in my shirt, "are you okay?" He asked me from a distance.
"I think, I'm shot..." I look at my fingers, sure enough, there was blood on my soot-stained fingers, "are you okay?" I didn't care about myself. I wanted him to be okay more than I wanted to come out of this shitty situation I seemed to have gotten us in.
"Yeah, just sore from the blast." His voice was getting closer now, "but Enid left with Maggie and Sasha for home." he informs me, "it's just us now." sadness tainted his voice.
"That's good. But you should have gone with her. Your dad is going to freak out." He came into view, his shirt was burned, his face was slightly burnt and black with soot. He was holding his hand over his bandage-less eye, "I can't believe that happened." he got closer.
"Hilltop is gone. It burned to the ground when that car exploded..." Carl grabbed me by the arms, helping me up the best he could, "Enid got Maggie out before it got worse."
"I'm glad." I groan in pain as I use my stiff muscles to stand, "I'm not going to make it without medical attention. You might as well just leave me here." I could barely put weight on my knees without them giving in to the pain of the hole in my side. I wanted him to let me turn out here so I could shamble my way back to Negan in hopes to make him realize what a shit person he had been to me.
"Renegade, I can't let you die here." He held me up as I leaned on him weakly, "and even if...you don't make it...at least you can be buried in a nice place." Carl got quiet, "Maggie must be devastated. I hope she doesn't lose the baby."
"I saw Carson go with her. He'll keep an eye on her, he's a good doctor..." I fade in and out in a flash, waking up to Carl's face over mine, "what happened?" I was confused.
"You passed out and slipped from my arms." He took off his bag to unzip it and look inside, "I need to wrap you up. Just enough till we can get you to safety." I close my eyes for a second, my head lolling to the side, making me jolt back awake when the warm concrete touched my skin. A figure in baggy clothes comes into view, it stood in the blur of my vision. I grab Carl's arm, making him stop and look at where I was pointing.
"Who is that...?" I asked weakly.
"Daryl?" Carl perked up at the sight of the man, "Daryl, is that you?" My eyes flutter as I nod out again. When I wake up, Daryl was hovering over me, and Carl was wrapping his eye back up.
"You shouldn't be here, Carl." Daryl grunted, "you're in a lot of danger being next to this girl. You're not an idiot, so just leave her here."
"She needs my help, Daryl. She needs to go back to Alexandria. She saved our lives." Carl told him, "if it wasn't for her, Maggie wouldn't have been able to escape alive."
"No, Carl." Daryl picked me up, "she can't go there. The Saviours lost me when The Hilltop burned down. Meaning, that Negan will be looking. If I go back, he'll kill you all. And if I go back with her, he'll burn Alexandria down."
There was a long pause between Daryl and Carl, but it was only because I had blacked out completely, losing all track of what was going on. When I woke up again, it was just Daryl and I. He held me close to his chest as he walked, eyes on the road. I inhale, trying to shift a little. I was wrapped in a jacket.
"Where's Carl?" I asked him, my body had gotten stiff once more from not using it. I wanted to curl into a ball and die.
"He went home." Daryl didn't look down at me through his greasy hair.
"Where are we going?"
"Back to Negan."
"No way!" I wiggle, making him set me down, which was a mistake on my part because it hurt like hell itself was ripping apart my body. I fell to my knees, weak with pain, "I'm not fucking going back to him. He said that he'd kill me if I went back." Tears stung my eyes now, "I know you're only doing what's best for me, but...I can't. If I die out here, just make sure that when I die, I get to eat Negan's face off and take my sister down with me." I broke into the pieces I was pretending to have together, laying down flat on the road. If I was going to bleed to death, at least Daryl could take my body back.
Daryl stayed quiet. I had no doubt that he didn't know what to say to me because right now, I was just some broken-hearted girl who was stupidly in love with the bad guy. I was going to die slowly. I guess it's what I deserve for being a fucking torment all my life. With a fucking bullet to the side, because I was trying to do a good deed. Protecting Carl.
"We're going to get killed." I remember telling Carl, "you shouldn't do this. These are helpless people."
"What made you change your mind? You did this with Negan without even caring for those other lives." Carl told me.
"I know the monster that I am, Carl. But this isn't what I want for you. And your dad would agree with me." I stopped him, "you're not this. Neither are you, Enid. This isn't the way to get revenge."
I don't know what happened next that got us spotted, but I do know that it got us blown up, and I got shot in the side. I guess it was worth it in the end. I wasn't such a bad guy for protecting the kids that meant more to this fucked up world than I ever did.
"Why were you even there in the first place?" My voice cracked when I finally found it again.
"Negan and your sister decided it was best for me to start working with the trucks. So I part time go with them to torture Rick, the other parts of the time, I help gather supplies like a goddamn mule." He shook his head, sitting next to me, "you're not going to quit, are you?" Daryl asked me.
"What?" I sniffled pathetically.
"Quit. As in, give up and let them win?" Daryl looked down at me. He looked really sad against the grey skies. With his unwashed hair, dirt-smeared face and nasty clothes. It was getting hard for me to breathe. My breathing had become wet. Like My lungs were filling up with blood. Daryl must have noticed, because he got up, scooping me into his arms. I cry out in pain, holding my side. The taste of blood-drenched my tongue as I tried not to spit it all up on Daryl.
"They've already won." I rest my head against his shoulder as he walked. I wanted to sleep forever and it was getting much easier for me to let go the loner I bled out all over us, "this is his world now, and it was stupid of me to think that I could stand by his side in triumph. I can't go back. Not like this."
"This is the only way to get you back inside. So you can get help and live." Daryl slowed down. I look to see Biters in front of us. They hadn't noticed us yet, "got any weapons in your bag?"
"No." I whisper, "at least when I die, you'll go with me." I joked. Knowing damn well he probably would spike me and maybe take my body to a place I could be laid to rest. It was doubtful that he would take me back to Negan if he wanted to live.
"I'm not dying here, you're funny if you think that, little girl." Daryl readjusted me in his arms, laughing slightly at the thought of dying here with me. I roll my eyes. Just as he went to move again, a black truck hit the Biters. It slowed down in front of us. I frowned, closing my eyes.
"Well, well, well." That terror of a voice filled the void between us, "fucking shit if it isn't my two favorite rats." Negan was smiling, I didn't even need to look at him to know he was, "shit, Daryl. You didn't need to save this one." I open my eyes, Negan stood in front of us. He lifted up the jacket, snickering, "looks like you're losing a good amount of blood there, Renny." He was pretending to be tough about it. But I could see it in his face that he was hurting.
"Fuck off." I clench my jaw, looking away from him, "I don't need your sympathetic bullshit."
"Well, that fucking solves everything, doesn't it?" He grabbed my arm, pulling me out of Daryl's arms. I hold my side as the hole tore open from the sudden jerk. I was drug to my feet and into Negans arms, "I've missed you." his voice softened. I felt weak in his arms. I felt safe to let go, and I almost did.
"I don't fucking believe you." I say through my teeth, tasting blood as it came up my throat again, "if you missed me, you'd treat me better." His eyes look at my mouth. I could see the blood on my teeth in the glossiness of his eyes. The same gloss that you would see when someone was about to cry, "I'm not fucking going back with you. I'd rather fucking die out here from this damn bullet hole than go with you." He closed his eyes when blood from my lips splattered onto his face.
"You're being unreasonable. I am totally prepared to forgive you for the way you acted." We've been here before, "just say the magic words." he offered up.
"Fuck no." I spit a fat glob of red onto his cheek, "I'll never kiss your ass for your forgiveness. I'm done being something I'm not. And that's someone you love."
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