“That’s his house there, isn’t it?” Noctis asked, nodding off at Zack’s house.
“Yeah…” You said nervously, not sure how to feel. Cloud was coming home, and had asked that you meet him at Zack’s house, and you knew that it was because he wanted to talk to him. The last time you saw Zack, he wasn’t exactly in a talking mood. Maybe it was good Cloud was going to be talking some sense into him, but as for you, you didn’t know if you could look Zack in the eye again.
Noctis’ arm came around your shoulder and pulled you over to him. “Are you okay?” He asked, rubbing his hand gently up and down your arm to try and warm you up. The sun was setting, and it was well below freezing out. Up above you could see snow falling and dissolving in the atmosphere. Snow in Traverse Town was rare due to the incredibly thin atmosphere, but it wasn’t unheard of, and often cold enough for it.
“I don’t think so.” You shook your head and he hugged you closer against his side.
He let out a sigh, “I’m so sorry, but I need to get back to patrolling. Prompto is going crazy…” He said, cuffing his hand over his pocket where his cellphone was buzzing once again.
“Oh. Okay. It’s fine…I’ve kept you for too long anyway.” You said, hugging yourself as his arm began to leave you. He put his hand on your shoulder and turned you to face him.
“Hey, keep it together, kid.” He said soothingly and pulled you into a real hug. He kissed the top of your head and gave you a squeeze before pulling away and sticking his hands in his pocket. “See you around.”
You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and nodded, “Be safe.”
“Of course.” He smiled at you, then turned on his heel and began walking down the street that would take him back into town. He grabbed his cellphone and you could faintly hear him arguing with Prompto on the line as he disappeared down the road.
You watched him walk away for a while, feeling rooted to the spot. Your stomach hurt every time you thought about going to see Zack. He was absolutely heart broken, and you couldn’t do a thing for him. You just decided to take Noctis up on his advice and pull yourself together enough to force yourself to walk up to his house. You let yourself in and turned on the lights to the living room. You half expected him to be sitting on the floor with the same photographs in his hands.
“Hello?” You didn’t hear anything anywhere in the house, and the quiet was making you nervous. “Zack?”
There was still no answer, so you decided to go up into his room to look for him. The stairs were dark and creaky, and the only light switch you could find didn’t do anything. You saw why as soon as you got up to the hallway and noticed that the light blubs were all shattered.
You walked as quickly as you could to get to his room, feeling terribly creeped out by the silent, broken house.
You pushed open his bedroom door and saw him lying in bed with a half empty bottle of scotch in his hand, hanging over the side of the bed. In his hand he had his cellphone, and it was playing a voicemail of his mother telling him to come home, that she thought something was wrong, and that she loved him.
“Zack, what are you doing?” You half-whispered.
“≈≈≈≈≈≈….to what do I owe the pleasure?” He sat up and took another swig from the bottle.
“What are you listening to?” You gestured to the phone with your head.
“Oh…it’s nothing…just the pretty echo’s of the long dead…” He sighed and took a big gulp of alcohol.
“You’re drinking? Zack, come on.” You snatched the bottle and tried to take it away from him, but he pulled it and kept it out of your reach.
“Leave me alone.” He looked off at the wall.
“Where did you even get that?” You scolded, trying to snatch at the bottle again. As you lunged forward, he put his forearm up so it was pressing against your collarbones, then he stood up while pushing you back with that arm. It was a bit of an aggressive shove, but it didn’t exactly hurt...mostly it just intimidated you.
“Zack, your parents wouldn’t want you to be acting this way.” You stood your ground.
“And how do you know anything about what my parents would have wanted? This is from his stash after all.” He said, glaring at the bottle.
“It was your fathers?” You asked, trying to calm him down.
“Mom insisted we keep all his stuff the way it was, in case he came back one day. You’d think she would have learned the rotten bastard’s never coming back.” He pelted the bottle at the far wall of the bedroom, causing you to jump and gasp. The bottle shattered and the remaining liquid leaked down the wall and soaked into the carpet that was now covered in glass. He saw that you had tensed up and took a step towards you, but you clenched your eyes shut and dropped your head down. He hesitated then sighed and sat down on the bed again, holding his head in his hands.
“I thought your father died in the Wutai war…he was a SOLDIER…”
He scoffed and shook his head, “When I was younger, I remember him disappearing for months at a time, and my mother had always told me he was off on military business…but when I was eight years old mother had sworn he went off to the war, and died honorably in some strange country…I did some digging later on, and found out that the stories of battle and glory were all tales a kind mother made up for her son. My father wasn’t a war hero, he wasn’t even in SOLDIER. He was a loser with an alcohol problem that went missing for months at a time. One day he just didn’t come back.”
“I don’t…why didn’t you tell me?” You asked, bending down to one knee and reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. He quickly sat up and pulled out of your reach, and held a hand over his eyes.
“Why? What difference does it make?” He let his hand down and you saw that his beautiful blue eyes were surrounded by painful looking redness.
“Because I would have understood…Out of everyone, I would have…” You tried your best not to let your own eyes start watering. You had Luxord for a father, and that was such a black mark on your heart that you still carried around with you.
He looked you in the eye for the first time, and you flinched slightly. You could see in his eyes that his heart was broken. He leaned in, his hand aiming to land on your cheek or your jaw, but you turned your face slightly to the side to avoid his hand. His hand dropped down onto his knee and he let out a pleading whisper, “Why?”
“You’re drunk…and you’re sad. You’re not yourself right now.”
His eyes seemed to flash with anger for a moment and he stood up, causing you to jump back and fall from your knees to your butt. He took a step closer, then stopped dead at the sound of a new voice.
“Fair, that’s my sister.” Cloud walked into the room with a scowl on his face.
Zack looked like he had been hit by a bag of bricks as he looked up and saw the tall blonde for the first time in months. “C-Cloud?”
“Come on, get some stuff together. You’re staying at our house.”
“I’m what?” Zack didn’t exactly sound as happy as you had hoped. It was probably a good idea to get him out of this house and under some kind of supervision. If the bottles around the room suggested anything, he was going to drink himself to death before anything else. Besides, you couldn’t imagine what being in the house where he saw his mother gutted was good for him.
“Yeah….yeah, okay. I’ll go get some things.” Zack said, though the look on his face and his tone were still hard and angry. He brushed past Cloud, shoulder checking him as he went out into the hallway.
“≈≈≈≈≈≈, did he hurt you?” Cloud asked, kneeling beside you.
“No he just…I’ve never seen him like this.”
“Neither have I, but we—” There was a clang and the sound of wood banging. Cloud sighed, “That was the backdoor….”
“You don’t think he…oh no.” You groaned in realization. He was running away. “Where would he go?”
Cloud shrugged, then offered you a hand up, “I’ll take a look around the area, why don’t you go check Gippal’s? Keep in contact. Don’t stay out too long, it’s supposed to rain soon.” He led you down the stairs and to the front door, then he went around to the woods behind Zack’s house, and you took off down the street to get to Gippal’s.
It was only a few streets over, and you ran most of the way, so you got there quickly. You knocked on the front door, and a tall, tan Al-Bhed woman answered it. It was Gippal’s mother, and you knew for a fact that she didn’t speak any English.
“Er, hello, ≈≈≈≈≈….” She said your name slightly wrong, but you got the idea of what she had said.
“Hi, is Zack here?”
“Gippal is not here.”
“O-Oh…Do you know where he is?”
She blinked at you, and you had to fight the urge to sigh or roll your eyes.
“He say he go to school to clean.”
“Okay. Thank you.” You said, and she quickly shut the door. You groaned and began to search your pocket for your phone to call Cloud. “Oh shit.” You sighed, realizing it must have fallen out at Zack’s house when you were on the floor.
You headed back over to his house to get your phone and call either Cloud or Gippal to figure out what to do next. You ran back to Zack’s house and went into his bedroom to check the floor, but your phone was nowhere to be found.
You went back down stairs to look around for it, and began to search the living room.
“Looking for this?” An unfamiliar voice asked. You whipped around to try and see who had spoken, but your foot caught on a piece of broken wood that used to be apart of the coffee table, and you fell backwards on the ground. You tried to catch yourself with your hands, but your right palm landed on the broken glass from a fallen lamp. “Jesus…” You began to recognize the voice and felt a hand come around your arm and pull you up, “You alright?”
“Vanitas? God, your voice sounds weird.” You sighed as you began to brush yourself off. He sounded like…well, himself, the bad Vanitas that was always trying to kill you. You still found it hard to associate that voice with him as a good guy…or at least a guy that didn’t want to kill you. Future-Vanitas sounded much more like Ven, or at least had a similar joking-cocky tone.
“I’m sorry, is there a particular way I’m supposed to sound?” His voice was still gravelly and guarded sounding, like he wasn’t fully comfortable speaking to you. “Fuck you’re hand…” He looked down at your right arm and his eyes softened a bit.
“Shit…” You mumbled, lifting it out in front of you as blood began to roll down and drip from your fingertips. You held your other hand under the bloody wound so it wouldn’t drip on the floor and you made your way into the downstairs hallway bathroom to clean it up.
“You should be more careful.” He said, following behind you.
“Yeah, well you shouldn’t sneak up on people.” You snapped back, sticking your hand under the faucet to run some water over it. The glass was out of the center of your palm and blood was pouring out of the cut it had made. You put two fingers on the shard of glass stuck in your hand, and tried to wiggle it free from your skin. It stung so badly you had to stop. “Can you get this?” You asked through tense breaths, holding your hand tightly as you tried to fight the pain.
He eyed you carefully, then reached forward and grasped the shard with his pointer finger and thumb, then looked at you for confirmation. You just dropped your head against your arm as you held it out for him. You gasped and bit your lip as he quickly yanked back on the glass.
“Okay, it’s out.” He said, and you heard the glass shard clatter as he set it down. You let out a heavy breath, but kept your head down, “Does that hurt?” He asked, still holding the back of your hand as even more blood began to gush out from the deep slice.
“Nope….doing just fine.” You mumbled, and he chuckled lightly as he began to look through the medicine cabinet. He pulled out a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and then looked at you, hunched over the sink hiding your face. Deciding that pouring alcohol over your hand to disinfect it would be more than you could handle right now; he put the bottle back and grabbed the hand towel to wrap your hand up.
“That should do for now…you should go find Ven, have him seal this up.”
“Why are you here?” You asked, maybe a little too harshly. You were just in pain, but it must have sounded like you were blaming him. It was kind of his fault, but you would never actually blame someone else for your own stupidity. He let your hand go and took a step back.
“Don’t worry, I won’t be staying. I was out looking for any leftover unversed and happened to see you in there looking around. I found this on the street, and thought it might be what you were looking for.” He put your cellphone on the counter by the glass shard and made to walk out, but you stood up and blocked his path.
“Hey…I didn’t mean…Where are you going?”
“Don’t worry, I’m leaving. As soon as I take care of the last of the unversed, I won’t show my face here again.”
He began to walk away, pushing past you with relative ease. You were still in agony over your hand, and weren’t going to put up a fight. You gave it your last ditch effort and weakly called after him, “I don’t want you to leave.” He stopped and looked back at you with truly sorrowful eyes. They weren’t the mischievous or dangerous eyes you had come to expect from him, but they looked sad and regretful.
“Then what do you want from me?” His voice cracked, and he seemed to lose his cool as he looked over his shoulder at you.
“I don’t want anything. I just don’t want you to leave because you think we all blame you for everything that happened. We don’t…At least I don’t.”
“But it is my fault. I would have killed all of you.”
“Well you didn’t. What stopped you?”
“Have you ever done something so terrible that you had to go back in time to stop yourself?” He turned all the way around and gave you a look that almost dared you to try and relate to that. “I was a puppet, and it took my future self coming back to cut the strings to make me see it. I don’t want to be that person anymore, but I can’t make everyone see that. You know all of this, and your reaction to seeing me every time tells me that even you’re have trouble believing it. How do you expect anyone else to believe me?”
“Everyone’s just sad right now.”
“If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of hell.”
“Hey, we’re not all doing so well. We’ve all lost a great deal more than any of us felt possible. If they do blame you, its because they need to have someone to point the finger at. Without someone to blame, it feels like the world crashed in on us for no reason.”
“So I’m your excuse?” He seemed almost angry.
“People are dead.” You closed your eyes and hugged your good arm over your stomach unconsciously as you felt the guilt of Renee’s death wash over you, making you feel sick with shame. “It’s kind of hard to accept that bad things just happen.” You understated bitterly, responding to his change in tone with your own angry feelings.
“Why me? Why not Sephiroth, or Caius?”
You flinched at the mention of your brother’s name, “I don’t know, but I am sorry. I am.”
He sighed and put his hands in his pockets, “I know that I’ve fucked everything up in more ways than I can ever hope to fix….but please believe me when I say that I’m more than penitent. I’ve never hurt things as bad as this, and I don’t know how to apologize.”
“I don’t think anyone wants an apology right now. Give it some time. Too many of us are still in mourning…I think you saying anything to them right now would just be pouring salt into the open wound.”
“Then when? It’s eating me away, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Give it time…The bereaved need time to grieve. Speaking out now would do more harm than good.”
He nodded quietly, “You’re right…I’ll wait then…but I won’t leave,” He sighed and then shook off his sad look and replaced it with a soft smirk that you liked seeing on him much more than his other expressions, “Hey, come on kid. Put a smile on every once in a while. This town could use it.”
You chuckled slightly, “I’m not actually going to smile for you, my hand hurts quite badly, but thanks for the thought.” You smirked a bit yourself and his grin widened.
“Go fix that up. We can talk another time.” A black portal swirled around his feet, then swallowed him up and disappeared.
He was gone, and you were alone in the dark, broken down house once again. Your throbbing palm was becoming almost unbearable, so you really needed to make a plan. You grabbed your cellphone and called Cloud and told him about what happened at Gippal’s. Cloud still hadn’t seen him, or heard anything from anyone else that he called to look out for him. You told him Gippal might be at the school, and maybe it would be a good idea for you to go up there, and he agreed.
Your next move would be to go up to the school. You left the decimated house, and entered the freezing, snowy, rainy streets to head to the even more destroyed school.
By the time you got even remotely close to the school, you got a phone call from Cloud again.
“Hello?” You picked up the phone awkwardly as you tried to keep your cut up and rag covered hand pressed into your side to try and alleviate the pain with pressure while talking on the phone with your other hand.
“≈≈≈≈≈≈? Is everything all right? You sound strange.”
“Doing great. What’s up? Did you find him?”
“No. I had Axel search the school for him already. He’s not there, don’t waste your time.”
“So what are we supposed to do now?”
“Look around the town? I’ll keep searching the woods, Gippal and Axel will search districts 5-9, I’ve got Roxas and Riku looking around the housing districts, and I was hoping you would take districts 1-4.”
“Yeah, of course.” You nodded and turned to face the road that would take you down the path to the fourth district, even though he couldn’t see you.
“Call me if you find anything.”
“I will.” You ended the call and pocketed your phone again before hugging yourself tighter against the cold and heading off in search of a very sad and slightly drunk Zack. Your Zack. Your silly, immature, puppy Zack. He was dying on the inside, and there wasn’t a thing you could do for him. You couldn’t even find him right now.
Three hours in the cold snow and rain later, and you were beginning to get massively desperate. You were searching the Fountain Plaza now, but it looked as deserted as the other places you had checked. Your fingers were numb and blue on your good hand, and the cut up hand was on fire and pulsing and probably still bleeding. Your lips were so chapped from the cold that opening your mouth to call out for Zack was impossible, not to mention the fact that your vocal chords had probably already given out round an hour ago. You hadn’t gotten any word from Cloud, so you knew he was still missing. The snow was piling up out there, and the rain was freezing on the ground making it slippery. You stumbled more frequently over the frozen patches and uneven snow now that you were getting desperate and tired. One final trip sent you over the edge. Your foot caught on a loose bit of cobblestone that was covered by the snow, and you stumbled forward onto some ice, where you slipped and fell face first into the snow. You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood after hitting the ground with your chin, scrapped your knees and elbows, and caught yourself on your hands, reopening any part of your glass-shredded hand on contact. You barely even had the strength to roll over onto your back and push your way over to the base of the large heart-shaped fountain. With your good arm you pulled yourself up and sat on the edge of the fountain, hoping to be able to use the water to clean yourself up, but the entire thing was frozen solid. Feeling completely hopeless and in pain made worse by the cold, you began to break down. You held you head in your hands and let the few stinging tears that were welling up fall as they pleased.
You weren’t sure how long you were sitting there, but it was only enough that the tears that landed on your arm had frozen. It was now fully dark out, and the few lanterns and light poles that were lit were barely giving off light. The entire time you were out, you didn’t hear much of anything, but you heard the sound of plastic rustling.
“≈≈≈≈≈≈≈?” A soft voice called out. You picked your head up and looked around for the source, and saw Ven standing a few feet away with a plastic bag full of medical supplies. He was frozen in place, but when he noticed that you had ripped the knee of your jeans, had a bloody towel tied around your right hand, and there was blood trickling down your chin from your bleeding lip, his eyes widened in surprise. “Jesus…” He mumbled, rushing over and kneeling in front of you. You normally would have laughed or at least made some kind of comment about him having the same reaction as Vanitas, but you weren’t in the mood.
“What happened? Were you attacked?”
You dropped your head into your hand and sighed, trying to pull yourself together and hid yourself from his gaze while you did so. “No. I’m just stupid.”
“….All this, just stupid?” He gestured to everything, then sighed and took your hand to unwrap it from the towel to see what the problem was. “≈≈≈≈≈, you need to be locked up.” He mumbled to himself as he pulled the towel away from the cut, but had some difficulty due to the blood being frozen to both your skin and the cloth. He made more scolding comments, but you weren’t having it.
“Zack’s missing.”
He stopped fiddling with the cloth and looked up at you. “What?”
“He ran away. Cloud came by to tell him he needed to pack and come to our house, and he just took off.”
“Did you ask Gippal?” You gave him a look and he nodded, “Okay, stupid question. How long has he been gone?”
“Since 6.”
“And you’ve been out here this whole time? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“You’ve been busy, we—”
“Bullshit, you know I’d drop everything to help.”
“That’s exactly the point. You need to help the people that were hurt—”
“Like you?”
“Will you stop interrupting me, this is seri—OW!” He pressed a thumb into your cut palm and you jumped and cringed at the same time. He quickly healed it up, though it was still a very painful process until he was almost done. He dropped his hand from your palm to your knee, then up to your chin, where he cleaned up the blood by wetting his scarf with the snow. It wasn’t great, but it got the job done.
“There…anything else?” He asked with a soft smile on his face. You bashfully held up your skinned elbow, and he laughed a little. “Of course there’s more.” He patched it up, then noticed the look on your face, “I was kidding. You know I really do like helping. You don’t have to give me those sad eyes.”
“I’m not, this is my normal face.”
He looked at you skeptically, then reached forward and put a hand on your cheek. You didn’t know exactly what he was up to, but your face suddenly felt like it was being brought back from the dead. Your overly cold skin returned to a normal, healthy temperature, your cheeks turned from blue to red, and your chattering teeth finally fell silent.
“Hmmm…you still look a little sad.” He sighed, and you smiled weakly.
“Thanks for trying.” Truth be told, you felt a little hallowed out inside lately. Everyone was so depressed, and you worried about how difficult it was becoming to force yourself to smile.
“We’ll find him. You don’t need to worry yourself.” He said, standing up from his kneeling position in the snow. You sighed, hoping he was right, then jumped as your phone began to buzz. “See, that’s probably him now.”
You saw it was from Cloud and answered it right away, “Cloud?”
“I’ve got him. We’re heading home now.”
“Where was he?”
“Woods. Meet me at the house, we need to talk.” Cloud hung up the other line and you stared at the phone for a moment before Ven snapped you out of it.
“Did I hear correctly? Cloud?”
“He came back…”
“Cloud did?”
“Zack, he found him.”
“Where?”
“Not sure. Cloud’s taking him back to our house, I’ve got to go.” You got up and were about to dash off, but Ven stopped you by throwing his warm, dark green scarf over your head and holding the ends back.
“Hold on a second, I’ll go with you.” He said, pulling you back over to the fountain by the scarf. When you were a few steps closer to him, he wrapped the scarf around your neck properly and told you to wait while he took the medical supplies to the tent. He was back within two minutes, and as soon as he returned, the two of you took off for your house.
When you finally got home, you ran upstairs to find that Cloud and Zack were inside one of the spare bedrooms…the room that used to be Renee’s whilst she was staying there. You forced yourself to go in anyway, and were relieved to see that almost all of her stuff was stashed out of sight, and the room was returned to a bland, typical guest bedroom.
Zack was sitting at the foot of the bed, with a strange grin on his face, and Cloud was leaning against the desk with his arms crossed. You could smell alcohol faintly, and figured that meant Zack was still slightly drunk.
“Things seem pleasing to you, Fair?” Cloud asked, seeing the ear to ear grin form on Zack’s face as you walked in the room.
“And what if they do? Damn me for trying to be positive.” He mumbled.
“Things aren’t okay, and if you do think something so pleasing, you’re the only one.” Ven shot back, entering the room behind you. Zack’s expression changed upon sight of the blonde trailing behind you. His grin was replaced by a heavyset scowl.
“≈≈≈≈≈≈, are feeling alright? You look like hell.” Cloud asked quietly, but Zack overheard.
“We were waiting up for you, smalls. Where’ve you been?” His tone let you know right then and there that he was still hammered.
“I was out looking for you. I was worried about you.” You snapped, hating the way he was acting.
“You were worried about me? Doesn’t look like it.” He said, his eyes flicking over at Ven for a moment before returning to you.
“Just where in the hell were you?”
“Hey Ven,” Cloud spoke quietly behind you with Ven as you continued to scold Zack, “Can you do anything for him?”
“Can I make him stop making an ass of himself? No.” Ven replied, to which Cloud gave him a look, “Alright fine. I can do my best for him if he promises to try and sleep this off, then tell us just what exactly he’s been up to.”
“Just do what you can.” Cloud said, taking his phone out of his pocket and stepping into the hall, shutting the door behind him.
“What I’ve been up to?” Zack laughed, “Me? I’ve been grieving my dead mother. What have you been doing? Running around with my ≈≈≈≈≈≈?”
“Your ≈≈≈≈≈≈?” Ven shot back.
“Yeah. Mine.” Zack stood up.
“The girl you left outside in a snowstorm to go looking for your sorry ass?” Ven took a step towards him.
“Guys, stop it.” You got in between them and put one hand on Zack’s shoulder and the other on Ven’s.
“Why should I? We could settle this right now. Once and for all.” Zack pried your arm off and held it in his grasp, keeping you pinned.
“I’m trying to help you jackass.” Ven tried to get around you, but you kept your palm pressed firmly into his chest, trying to maintain control of at least one side of this fight.
“I don’t need your help. I’m doing just fine on my own.”
“Go to sleep, Fair.” Ven’s arm darted over your shoulder as you turned to yell at Zack, but he nailed Zack in the temple, causing him to fall to the ground like a bag of bricks. It was strange to see Ven do this to someone else for a change, but you quickly got over it as you bent down to check to make sure Zack wasn’t hurt by anything. “Good lord, how much has he had to drink?” Ven sighed, sitting in the desk chair.
“He’s been alone in that house for the past few days with his father’s expansive liquor collection…who knows how much of it he drank.”
“I don’t know if I feel sorry for him, or if I want to hit him.”
“You can’t blame him for being upset.”
“I don’t. But the way he’s handling it is less than admirable.”
“Everyone grieves differently, I guess.”
“Like you, you just want to ignore it.”
You had been trying to lay Zack out and fix a pillow under his head and cover him with the blankets, but this made you stop dead.
“I’m dealing with it aren’t I?”
“Are you? ≈≈≈≈≈≈, no one even knows what happened out there that night.”
“She died, okay? That’s it. The unversed attacked, she was fatally wounded, I had to…she died. I’m dealing with it the best I can.”
“I shouldn’t have said anything…I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, bringing his knee up into his chest and resting his head on it as he sat in the desk chair.
“It’s alright….whatever…” You mumbled, turning your attention back to Zack’s unconscious form.
In the next hour or so, Zack began to wake up. You were sitting on the ground by his head, stroking his hair soothingly as he slept, and Ven was napping in the chair, his head still on his knee.
“≈≈≈≈≈≈≈?” He called out quietly, causing you to snap out of your trance, and Ven to wake up from his nap. You had just been sitting there playing with his hair to try and help get rid of any headache he might have, and got lost in your thoughts apparently.
“How’re you feeling?” You asked.
“Like my head’s exploded.” He mumbled, lifting a hand up to his forehead. His hand was shaking, and you could tell something wasn’t quite right, “What did you do to me?” He asked Ven bitterly.
“The shivers and shakes will go away soon. I had to tranquilize your ass.” Ven answered.
“Fuck you.” He sighed, rubbing his temples to try and alleviate his headache.
“That’s the price you pay for the games you play. You don’t get to drunkenly threaten girls half your size without being put down.”
“I didn’t threaten her. I was threatening you.” Zack sat up, but you put your hands on his shoulders and pushed him back down gently, but firmly.
“Please, we’re just trying to help you.”
“You can’t help me, unless you know how to bring the dead back to life.”
“It’s going to be okay.” You said, beginning to stroke his hair again to try and calm him down. “Ven, can you do anything about his headache?” You asked, trying to be of any comfort to Zack as you could.
“Don’t come near me.” Zack warned Ven as he began to roll the desk chair closer.
“Fine. You can find your help from someone else who has the time to deal with your bullshit.” He stood up and put his winter coat on again, “Sorry, ≈≈≈≈≈≈, but I have a tent full of patients deserving of medical attention waiting for me.”
“Fine. Get out of here.” Zack encouraged him to leave, despite your beginnings of protest.
“Ven…” You mumbled, but he shook his head and left the room. You sighed, and looked down at Zack as he tried to sit up. The strain of sitting up caused him to black out, and he fell back to the ground. “Come on…let’s get you into bed…” You were basically talking to yourself at this point, but it still made you feel better at least.
Cloud came back into the room and helped you move Zack from the floor to the bed, and then the two of you took turns watching him over the next few hours. After around four hours, at near 3:00 in the morning, Zack began to wake up under your watch. You noticed his eyes starting to open, and staring blankly at the ceiling.
“Zack?” You called out, moving from your spot at the foot of the bed to the middle so you could look at his face.
“I’m really alone, aren’t I?” He weakly asked, maybe not even to you specifically, he might have just been thinking out loud.
“You’re not alone. You still have all of us.” You tried to reassure him, and cupped a hand along his cheek and jaw. Your mother had always told you to make physical contact with someone when you were trying to comfort them, to remind them that you were real, and in front of them, and that you did care.
“Then why do I feel completely abandoned?” He may have still possibly been a little drunk, but now he wasn’t being aggressive or strangely happy, he was just dismal.
You paused for a long while, trying to think up what to say to him that could possibly make it stop hurting so much. You couldn’t come up with anything. “This isn’t the end of your life…It’s more like a mind numbingly painful pause, but it’ll start back up soon.”
He took in a deep breath, and let it shakily go, and you worried you saw tears beginning to form in his eyes before he shut them.
“You’ll be back on your feet again in no time. You’ll be fine.”
He took in another deep breath, breathing in the soft scent of your perfume, and feeling the soft touch of your cool hand on his cheek. With you next to him, he did feel better, but you wouldn’t be able to stay with him forever like this. “But when you’re not with me…then, hell, I’m not fine.”
“Hey don’t say that. You don’t need me. You’re strong enough to come out of this. I’m here to help you, but you don’t need me.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said softly, before his head turned to the side and he was asleep again.
You let out a frustrated sigh and sat up, not sure how much more of this you could take. There was a knock at the door and your mother walked in, a mug of tea in her hand.
“Muffin, why don’t you go to sleep?” She said, handing you the mug and taking a seat in the desk chair.
“I can’t. He needs someone to watch him.”
“Let me handle that. Go on angel cake, I’ll take care of him.” She kissed the top of your head, and you thanked her before heading into your room. You were exhausted, and it was starting to show.
You got into your room, and began to get ready for bed as you drank your tea. By the time you had changed, brushed your hair, and washed your face, you had finished your drink and could brush your teeth as one final act before bed.
Just as you began to un-tuck the corners of the blankets of your bed, there was a tap on the window.
‘What now?’ You groaned internally, leaving the side of your bed and walking over to the window, where you saw Ven knocking from the tree outside.
“Yes?” You tried to keep the irritation from your voice.
“How’s he doing?”
“He’s heartbroken. How do you think?”
Ven sighed and rubbed his neck, “Right…look, I need to tell you something.” He wouldn’t look at you, and it was making you a little nervous.
“What is it?” You asked, hoping he would just come out with it already.
“Can you meet me on the roof?” Of course he wouldn’t just spit it out.
“Is it really that important? You can’t just tell me here?”
“Please?” His big blue eyes met yours and you softened.
“Fine.” You caved.
You closed the window then headed out into the hallway after seeing him begin to climb the tree. You went up the stairs to the third floor, and made your way to the roof terrace. He was already out there waiting for you, and you began to wonder just how all these boys got so good at climbing your tree. Riku and Roxas nearly lost life and limb to it every day.
“So…”
“You look like you’re doing better.” Naturally he changed the subject.
“You don’t.” He looked like he was exhausted, his eyes were fighting to stay open, and he was leaning against the stone railing of the terrace like he could barely stand up on his own. “When was the last time you slept?”
“I’ll sleep later. I needed to get the tent cleared out.”
“You’re no good to anyone exhausted like this.” You scolded him, putting a hand on his forehead only to find that he was burning up. “Ven, you need to take better care of yourself.”
“Alright, mom.” He chuckled tiredly, taking your hand and removing it from his forehead. He looked at your intertwined hands for a moment before you pulled yours away.
“I mean it.”
He let out a deep breath, causing a cloud of white fog to escape his lips from the cold. “I just needed to get everyone fixed up and back home. Call it my last act of good for this town.”
“What do you mean ‘last act’?” You asked worriedly.
His eyes snapped from the ground to your eyes in response to your question, “I think you know what it means.”
You took a step back, “No, I don’t.”
“≈≈≈≈≈≈…ShinRa…they’re going to take us away anyway. I wanted to go on my terms.” He looked down at his feet, and his fingers curled around the railing as he turned around and leaned his chest against it.
“And what were your terms?” You half whimpered.
“That they let me take care of things here before sending me off. The Turks were the ones that set the tent up, they said that as soon as everyone was healed and out of there, I would have to go with them.”
“So you stayed up all night healing them? Are you trying to leave?” You walked up beside him and leaned forward against the rail to get around to be able to see his face.
“I have to leave eventually. Why prolong it further? Look what happened because I was here.”
You wanted to punch him, “Stop being dramatic, this wasn’t your fault. No one is to blame but Sephiroth and Caius.”
“And Vanitas. And where did Vanitas come from?”
“Professor Hojo, a man who works for the corporation you seem so eager to run off to.”
“That’s not the way it works and you know it.”
“So you just want to run away?”
“As opposed to what? Staying here and being the cause for more tragedy?”
“What about your family?”
“I’m not even living with them now.”
“Your friends?”
“I would rather them be alive and safe at a distance, than dead because of me.”
“What about me?”
“If you don’t think that you’ll eventually wind up at ShinRa, then you’re deluding yourself.”
You looked down at the snow-covered ground in your backyard, and tried to find some way of understanding why he would choose to do this. “I don’t get it. Why would you go voluntarily?”
“It’s going to happen. I’d rather go willingly then be snatched up one day. This way, I can say goodbye, tell my family I love them, and pack up whatever belongings I want. The alternative, essentially being kidnapped, would make it feel like ShinRa was hell.”
“Being stuck in ShinRa will be hell anyway.” You mumbled bitterly. He looked at you sadly and you sighed, “Like I said, I don’t get it.”
“You know, I really didn’t expect you to. You have a place here. You have a loving family, and people who would miss you if you left.”
“People would miss you too. I would.”
“No you wouldn’t. If I really meant that much to you, you’d come with me.”
You felt raging bitch-face take over your expression. “Excuse me? You don’t know how I feel, and you don’t get to pretend that this is about me.”
“I don’t know how you feel? ≈≈≈≈≈, I told you that I love you, and you fucking walked away from me. I think it’s pretty damn clear how you feel.”
“I was scared, okay? You put me on the spot, and I panicked. Kinda like what you’re doing now.” You crossed your arms over your chest and took a few steps away and turned your back on him, trying to calm down so you could try to talk some sense into him. He was being infuriating, but you didn’t want to lose him to ShinRa over a stupid fight. You were still working on something to say next when he sighed heavily, and rubbed his tired eyes with his thumb and pointer finger.
“Please, just come here, don’t fight with me. I didn’t come here to bring up bad memoires, I came to say goodbye.”
“So it’s decided then…you’re going, and that’s that?” You turned back to face him, but you still kept your arms crossed firmly over your chest.
“I don’t have a reason to stay.”
“There’s no going back if you do this. You’ll be a ShinRa lapdog forever. There isn’t anything I can do to change your mind?”
“I know that there’s friction between us right now, and I know you’re uncomfortable, believe me, I do. And I know how hard it is for you to tell me the truth, but you know where I stand. I want to know where you do.”
“I could only be telling you I feel the same way you do just to keep you here. Is that really what you want?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow morning, and nothing can change that. All I want now is the truth.”
“Then I won’t lie to you. I try not to think about it. It really does scare me to have to face my feelings, so I don’t do it often. But I have been thinking about it lately, and it’s only fair that you should know. I guess…I feel in some ways I really do love you…but I’m not in love with you. And I can’t be what you want me to be for you. I feel like I’m being pulled in so many different directions at all times, I just…I’ve answered your question, haven’t I?” You tried to turn away from him, trying to hide your embarrassment, but he chuckled lightly, causing you to blush even more. “What are you laughing at?”
“Not you, don’t worry.”
“Then what? What is so funny to you?”
“Nothing I just…I don’t know what I expected, but this is somehow worse than I expected.” He turned to you and stood at full height, longer leaning against the railing. You had almost forgotten how much taller than you he was, and it was even more intimidating to speak to him now.
“What did you expect?” You asked nervously.
“Honestly? I thought you’d slap me. Or punch me. But this…I can see it on your face that you meant it…I was kind of hoping you would lie.”
“To what end? You’re leaving. It doesn’t matter anymore.” You deflated, leaning your elbows against the railing and resting your head on your hand.
“’To what end’? I think you’re misunderstanding me. I’m not giving up on you, missy. You don’t get away that easily.”
“But I just said that I don’t love you.”
“All the way, yet. I’m a patient guy.”
“But you’re going to ShinRa, you can’t—” He stopped you by putting a hand on your shoulder and pulling you up from your slump. He pulled you into a tight hug, tucking your head under his chin.
“I’ll go there now, and get everything checked out for you. I’ll make sure that you have a room set up a way that you’d like it, and a big welcoming party. For you and Riku. Besides, I don’t think that anyone could change the way I feel about you. I wish it could, you should know it’s not exactly easy on me, but I can change it.”
“I don’t want to go. I don’t want you to go. I hate this.” You whimpered against his chest, and he kissed the top of your head.
“It’ll be okay. From what I understand, we’ll be given penthouse suites. It’ll be like living in some luxury apartment building, we can pretend we’re just…fancy normal people.”
“What about school? College? You wanted to be a doctor…”
“I already am a doctor.” You rolled your eyes and laughed despite yourself, “And what school exactly are you thinking I’m going to return to? The one sitting up on that hill? I think I’m with Axel on this one, that place needs to be demoed.” He gave you a squeeze, “At any rate…I leave at 6:00 for Midgar.”
You cringed at the thought of it, and hit him lightly in the chest, “Damnit, Ven…How could you just decide something like this?”
“Because I have to go eventually. This way I don’t have to think about it, I just have to do it.”
“I hate you.”
He laughed, “No you don’t. You’re just mad you didn’t think of this first.” You hit him again. “Okay, okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. Bad joke. I just can’t believe this, probably less than you can. Here I am, standing on the rooftop of a house I’ve known since I was a toddler, hugging the girl of my dreams who only half loves me, and in twelve hours time, I’ll be in the big bad corporation’s tower.”
“If you don’t want this, don’t do it.”
He sighed, “It doesn’t work like that, kid. Besides, despite real distance, we’ll always be close.” He checked his phone, “Shit…it’s almost 4….you should go to bed.”
“Are you going to tell anyone else, or am I going to have to do it?”
“Lulu is taking care of it.”
“So this is goodbye then?”
“For now. You should come visit sometime.” He smirked.
“Well, I wont miss your jokes.”
He laughed, “Well I won’t miss your sass. Now get to bed, before you freeze out here.” He pulled away from you and rubbed the back of his neck like he so often did.
“Goodbye, Venven…” You mumbled, and he lost his smirk. He leaned in and gave you a kiss on the cheek, then pulled back and brushed the hair away from your face.
“I’ll miss you.” He ran his thumb over your cheekbone, then sighed and walked towards the edge of the railing and climbed over it and walked across the tiles of the roof until he was at the tree, “Until next time, ≈≈≈≈≈≈.”
You did your best to smile as he began to climb down the tree. Once his head disappeared, you let out a deep breath of your own, wondering if you had done the right thing. You ran a hand through your hair, then decided that you really did just need to go to bed. Today had been too much, and now you would wake up and Ven would be gone.
~Three Weeks Later~
Getting out of bed was especially hard today, even though you woke up long before your alarm was supposed to go off. Today was going to be a horrible day. You were going to Zack’s mother’s funeral today. The ceremony started at 9:00, but you couldn’t sleep well and ended up finding yourself staring at the ceiling at 6:30. You sat in bed for another hour and a half, just thinking. Today wasn’t just his mother’s funeral; it was the collective funeral for everyone who was lost in the attack. Your mother wanted to have a special little ceremony for Renee, but you weren’t sure it was something you wanted to see or do.
At 8:00 when your alarm went off, you had already thought through every possible outcome for today, and none of them were good.
You rolled out of bed and went into the closet with a sigh. Black tights and a black dress with lace sleeves seemed like the most appropriate, so you paired that with your thickest black petticoat. You put your hair up into a ponytail, seeing that it was raining pretty heavily, then put on some nice black heels. You set the coat on the bed, and headed into the hallway to see Ichigo.
His room was directly across the hall from yours, and his door was open. You went inside and saw him fixing up his tie, wearing a black suit with a black dress shirt.
“Hey.” He said, seeing you in the doorway.
“Good morning.” You sighed, leaning against the doorframe.
“Is it?” He mumbled, finally getting his tie straight, then turning around to face you. “You look like you didn’t sleep.” He said, noticing how tired your eyes were. You had put on the makeup to hide the dark bags under your eyes, but the real problem was your eyes themselves. They were dimmer than normal, and people could tell.
“I didn’t really.”
He nodded, “Yeah, I get that. I’ve been having some trouble lately myself. But anyway, today’s not really about us. Is Zack up yet?”
You shrugged, “Haven’t checked. I should probably go do that now, but…”
“Today is not going to be easy.” He agreed, seeing that you were avoiding seeing Zack for as long as possible this morning.
“Well it’s not going to get any easier just because we want it to.”
“God forbid something good happen to us for once.” He sighed as he began to put on some nice black converse. That was about as fancy as he got. At least he had on a suit.
“I’ll go check in on Zack…Let me know when everyone else is ready to go.” You said before leaving your spot in the doorframe.
You headed down the hall a little to get to the guest room where Zack had been staying. He was seemingly just as depressed as before, but he was coming to meals now, and would speak to you occasionally. He didn’t seem to be so unhappy staying here anymore, but you were worried what today would do to him.
You knocked lightly on the door before entering, “Zack? Are you up?” You asked, poking your head in first. He was sitting on the bed in a nice white shirt with a black suit vest, black dress pants, and an undone black tie hanging around his neck.
“Yeah.” He answered, though he didn’t look up from his hands. You walked over to the bed and sat down next to him, and turned him by the shoulders just enough that you could get at his tie.
“Did you sleep well?” You tried to make polite conversation, but there was a gloom hanging in the room that you couldn’t make go away.
“I don’t sleep much anymore.”
“Yeah, me either.” You mumbled, your fingers sliding the silky fabric of his tie into place around his neck. When you finished, you began to try and smooth out his hair where it was sticking up from being in bed for too long. “You know, I’m kind of surprised you’re up already.”
“I don’t think I could sleep in today if I wanted to….≈≈≈≈≈≈, I don’t know if I can do this.” He looked up at you with pleading eyes.
“Just try to get dressed and put your shoes on. Let’s get to the car and make things right. You’ll feel better after this, I promise.” You reassured him, getting his suit jacket off the bed and helping him into it. You got a coat of his and handed it to him as he put his shiny black shoes on. Ichigo and Cloud came in to tell you it was time to go, and you went back into your room to grab your petticoat and umbrella before heading out to the garage where Basch and your mother were waiting in the car already.
You sat in-between Ichigo and Cloud, with Zack on the other side of Cloud by the window. The Traverse Town cemetery was only a short fifteen minute drive away from your house, but it felt like hours. Everyone was silent, and the radio was off. Everyone was so dismal already, and the hard part hadn’t even started yet.
The car pulled into the parking lot, and you got out behind Ichigo. The sky was dark gray and rain was falling lightly, making the cold air seem even more frigid. People were already gathered around the cemetery church, and you saw Riku and Roxas sitting on a bench under the awning of the church. While your parents went out to talk with some of the other adults, Cloud and Ichigo took Zack inside.
“Hey guys.” You said, walking up to Roxas and Riku.
“≈≈≈≈≈≈, how are you?” Roxas asked, sliding over on the bench so you could sit down between them.
“Been better.” You sighed, looking at all the sad people as they walked into the church to get even sadder.
“It’ll be over soon.” Riku said, taking your hand and giving it a squeeze.
“Have you heard anything from Ven?” Roxas asked, continuing to watch the people enter the church.
“Nothing. Not a word this whole time. Why? Have you?”
He shook his head, “Nope.”
“What about Tsung, has he contacted you?” Riku asked.
“He’s been trying to. I’ve been making it hard for him.”
“You certainly have, Miss. Ballad.” Tsung said from behind you, causing all three of you to jump and turn.
“Oh good. The Turks are here.” Riku mumbled sarcastically.
“What are you doing at a funeral? I wasn’t aware the Turks had feelings.” You shot, turning back around so you wouldn’t have to look at the slick Turk. You couldn’t tell if he was dressed up in a suit for the funeral, or if he was still just in uniform.
“That’s not true. We have very deep feelings that you two continue to hurt so badly by ignoring us.”
“Aw, I didn’t know you cared.” Riku smirked.
“Look, this isn’t a good time. Maybe you could wait until this discussion is more appropriate?” Roxas tried to stop the argument and Tsung’s intrusion on the funerals.
“Sorry, young Rostar, but what better time to try and get our friends here to atone for their grievous errors leading to the deaths of dozens.” He clapped a hand on your shoulder, and the other on Riku’s, and Riku shot to his feet and turned around with his fists out. “Easy, you wouldn’t want to cause any more harm today.” Tsung taunted, and you stood up and held Riku’s arm, and Roxas got between the two.
“Come on, he can’t follow us inside.” You said, pulling the two boys along towards the church. You were hoping that Tsung had enough respect for the dead not to impose on the funeral, and he didn’t follow you, so you guessed you were right.
Inside, the three of you took a seat in a pew near the back, trying to avoid the front where people were already crying. The ceremony started, and a man read a list of all the names of the people who had been killed, and people would go up and lay flowers over a casket whenever they heard a name of a loved one. People were then offered the chance to go up and speak about their lost friends and family, and each speech felt like a punch to the gut. Your mother went up to talk about Renee, and the stinging in your eyes from the other speeches finally became full blown tears streaming down both cheeks. Zack was forced to go up with Lulu, who spoke about her older sister, and upon hearing her choke up, you stood up and left the church. You didn’t want to listen to this. You just wanted to repress and forget.
You walked out into he graveyard and hugged yourself against the cold and rain. You were just walking aimlessly, reading the names on all the fresh tombstones when you saw a grave with Renee’s name inscribed on it. You began crying openly; falling to your knees in the soft, wet earth.
“Do you see now what a danger you are to others?” Tsung came up behind you with his hands in his pockets, looking around at all the rows of new tombstones specially made to commemorate those lost in the attack.
“I wont be your lab rat.” You spat at him, looking up with fierce, teary eyes.
“We are not taking you to study you, we are taking you to protect you, and those around you. Your condition renders you a threat to everyone, including yourself.”
“Yeah, well who are the ones who did this to me?”
“That is our point, we wish to make amends for our mistakes. Just as you should.”
“Then why haven’t I heard from Ven?”
“If Ventus Rostar chooses solitude, it is hardly my place to argue with him.”
“Did he choose solitude, or are you people doing something to him?”
“While I would normally not answer after being addressed as ‘you people’, I’ll make an exception for you. He doesn’t want to be bothered, so we’re not bothering him. He’s found solace studying in the SOLDIER medical units, and we want him to be happy. You could be happy there too.”
“Then why hasn’t he contacted anyone?”
“It is my understanding that the two of you had a bit of a fight before he left. Maybe he doesn’t want to contact anyone.”
“How the hell did you know that?”
“Turk business is Turk business, Miss Ballad.”
You glared at him, and he merely shrugged. You looked back at the tombstone and sighed.
“She won’t be the only one lost in this war against Sephiroth.”
“You think I don’t know that? After all this?” You looked at all the graves around you, then back at him.
“She won’t be the only one of your family, the only one of your friends to be hurt. Think of all the attacks before, and how many almost lost their lives just because they were defending you.”
You sniffled, knowing he was right, but still determined to fight him over this.
“All I’m saying is that the inevitable will happen. We can either wait until you turn 18, leaving you here where you threaten the safety of an entire world, then we force you to come with us, or you could come quietly now, before anyone else gets hurt.”
Just as he finished talking, the funeral procession let out and they began to walk around the grounds of the cemetery. You saw Zack and Lulu walking, Cid had his arm around Lulu in a consoling manner, and Zack was behind them with his head down. Cloud and Gippal were walking with him, and Axel was helping Reno walk in his cast just behind them. Sora was now with Roxas, and he was crying waterfalls. None of them had any business with Sephiroth or Caius, and yet all of them had been so terribly impacted by your war with them.
“Fine…”
“Excuse me?” Tsung sounded surprised for the first time in the entire time you’d known him.
“I said fine. I’ll go with you.”
“There’s no going back on this later. I have your verbal consent recorded; unless you speak now, you are obligated to come with me to ShinRa Corps. Tower. Do you consent?” You had kind of figured by now that Tsung was always bugged with a recorder, so you knew he wasn’t bluffing.
“I already agreed, don’t make me change my mind.”
“Then consider it done.”