Once Danny was out the door, the two women lay on the bed for several minutes, both lost in their own private misery. After a while, Emma couldn't stand to lay on her arms any longer. Gasping at the jarring pain in her ribs, she carefully wriggled and pushed herself up into a sitting position.
"Mom? Are you okay?"
Julie hadn't moved since Danny had thrown her on the bed, and the only sounds coming from her were tiny, pathetic whimpers.
"Mom?" She nudged Julie's prone body with her foot.
"Em, I'm so sorry."
"You know, I'm getting tired of hearing you say that," she huffed out a breath, blowing the loose strands of hair out of her face.
She shimmied back, against the headboard, using her arms to move one of the pillows to cushion her. Beads of sweat broke out on her forehead, and by the time she found a comfortable position, she was breathing heavily from the effort.
"I know, Emma," Julie acknowledged, "I am, though. I've been a terrible mother."
"No shit," she mumbled.
"You know I wasn't always this horrible person, Em," Julie sighed. She shoved herself up, grimacing and scooting backward, until her position mimicked her daughter's.
Emma rolled her head to the side, facing Julie, her eyes thoughtful, but guarded.
"I don't care," she mumbled, looking away. "I just want to get out of this mess, and forget all about you."
"I don't blame you for hating me, Em... but Danny doesn't know everything. He didn't tell you everything."
"Did you kill dad?" Emma asked bluntly.
"Yes." Julie's voice was small, and heavy with regret. Wide, hazel eyes flew back to her, startled. "You know; I did love him... I wish so badly I could take it all back."
"I'll bet," Emma responded drily, "I'm sure this is not at all how you planned for things to go."
"No, it isn't," Julie agreed. "But that's not what I meant. I wish I could've been the wife he wanted and the mother you deserved. I was messed up, broken... I didn't know how to be those things. I tried... I tried so hard. But I always did the wrong thing, never getting what I really wanted."
"What did you want?"
"A family," she answered, a note of longing in her voice, "to forget..." She sighed. "I just wasn't built for it."
Unwillingly, Emma turned to face her again. The softness and vulnerability in her eyes tugged at her heart.
"What did you want to forget?"
"It doesn't matter," Julie replied, defeated. "You're right, no explanation will make anything I've done better, now."
"Well, it's not like we don't have time," she prodded.
Julie sighed, "I meant it when I said that I loved your father. But I never told him any of this... I don't know, maybe if I had, things would have been different, he might have been able to help me." Avoiding Emma's scrutiny, she began, her voice deadpan, "When I was little, my family was pretty screwed up. I was always a 'daddy's girl,' followed him everywhere, he treated me like his princess.
"My mom, on the other hand," Julie shuddered, "she was angry, really angry, all the time. She drank a lot and she'd beat me when daddy left me alone with her. When I was four, she dragged me out of my bed, stripped me down, beat me with a wooden spoon until my skin split, and then threw me in a scalding hot bath to 'cleanse me of my sins.' The whole time, screaming at me that I was stealing my father's love from her. I ended up with second degree burns, besides all of the welts. Social services were a joke back then, so there wasn't even an investigation. They told the doctors I had an accident." She coughed out a bitter laugh.
"Holy shit," Emma breathed.
Julie nodded. "After that, she was more careful about how she hurt me. She still hit me and screamed at me, but never as badly as that night. Then, when I was about ten..." a garbled sound came from the back of her throat, and her voice dropped to a near whisper, "When I was ten, my daddy started coming into my room at night. At first, it was sort of innocent. He'd just lay next to me in bed and hug me. It made me uncomfortable, but I didn't know why. Then he started touching me, and eventually... more." Her eyes squeezed shut, as if that could hold the barrage of memories at bay, her body shaking with the effort. "It made my mama resent me even more. I told her what he did, and she accused me of seducing him. She beat me almost to death, but I got away to one of my friend's houses. Told them I'd been attacked on the street.
"From then, I just dealt with it all in silence. I ran away when I was sixteen, and began waitressing in different bars. Not terribly safe, but I made enough money to stay off the street, and hide from my parents. I'm not even sure if they ever looked for me. I met your dad a few years later. He was coming into the bar I was working at, and he kept offering to take me out and buy me drinks. In the beginning, I wouldn't give him the time of day... but he was so sweet, and, eventually, he wore me down. I agreed to one date, and then everything started moving too fast, and I was afraid to slow things down or stop it. I didn't want to like him, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to risk losing him. Then, I found out I was pregnant, and right after that, we got married. It was all a blur, and I was so excited, and happy that I just ignored everything else.
"I did my best to forget what my parents had done to me. I didn't want to be that kind of mama... "she blew out a shaky breath, "But I was so depressed, and angry... I didn't want to tell your dad what had happened to me, because I was sure he'd think it was my fault, so I kept it to myself. But becoming a mom brought everything back. Nightmares, anger, depression, crazy mood swings... By the time we had you, I was barely keeping it together. I started making bad decisions—Danny being one of them. I was so out of control, I knew I was fucking everything up, but I couldn't stop myself.
"I seduced Danny and convinced him to help me with the heist. When we pulled it off, I was going to kill him and take off with the jewels. Start over somewhere. I was so stupid... stupid and naïve. I shot him at the cabin we were supposed to be hiding at until we could sell the gems, and left him there. Went home like nothing was wrong, and waited. But your dad found the jewels, and he was livid... wanted me out of your lives. He knew he was being framed, but wasn't sure the cops would even look at me for the crime without more proof. So he blackmailed me to stay away, just like Greta said in her letter. I figured I could scare him into telling me where they were, so one night, I called him to meet." Julie's tears started to fall in earnest, as she struggled to continue.
"What did you do, mom?"
"I held him at gunpoint. Demanded he tell me where they were... but he wouldn't tell me! I got too close to him with the gun, and he grabbed for it. It—it just went off! I didn't want to kill him, but he was just lying there. I couldn't get help without everyone finding out what I'd done, so I left him there. I—I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." Her body doubled over with the strength of her sobs, while Emma sat beside her, stunned.
"Jesus, mom... I don't know what to say. That's... that's all really overwhelming."
"I know." Julie quieted, taking large gulps of air. "I know it doesn't change anything I've done, but I did try. I tried to be a good wife and a good mom... I just couldn't."
"It's a little too much to process right now, if I'm being honest. Why are you telling me all this now?"
"I don't know. I mean, I've always had regrets, but I just kept going forward. The easiest way to live was to focus on me. I couldn't do anything for anyone else. But when Danny found me... it all came back. I know it's too late for forgiveness, but I was trying to keep you safe from this." Shoulders slumped, head hanging, her voice came out flat and blunt. "We need a plan, Emma. He's coming back, and he is going to kill us when he gets what he wants."
"What do you suggest?" Emma asked wearily. "He's already been gone over an hour; he'll be back soon. We're lucky if we have another hour and a half left, and there's no place to go way out here."
"I'm not sure," her mouth screwed to the side, sky blue eyes taking in the room, cast in stark shadows from the shadeless lamp, where her eyes came to rest.
Emma's phone started buzzing again, and in the quiet of the room, Julie heard it. Her eyes darted to Emma, perplexed at the way her dress was glowing in the dim light.
"My phone!" Emma gasped. "Help me. I forgot, I slipped it into my bra. If we can get a call out..." Her voice trailed off, lightened with hope.
"Lay down on your side," Julie suggested, Emma complied and tilted her head back, as her mom wiggled closer, mirroring her position. "If I can just push it up, so it falls out..."
Emma hunched her shoulders slightly, creating a little space between her bra strap and her skin, while Julie nudged the bottom edge of the phone through the cotton fabric of her sundress. It slid up a couple of centimeters.
"It's almost out," Julie said, "Lean forward a little more."
Emma tilted her body forward, and shimmied her shoulders, causing the phone to fall onto the bed.
"Teamwork," she gasped, falling backward, before sitting up and turning the cell over using her mouth. "I'll try to get a call out." She pushed the home button with her nose, and groaned. "There's only like one bar. You'd better start looking for a way to get our hands free, mom."
Julie pushed herself into a sitting position, her mouth in a thin, grim line. "I have an idea, but it's going to hurt like a bitch." She walked over to the small table holding the lamp, turning her head sideways. Cradling the long, thin base of the lamp under her neck, she carefully tipped it over so that the still-lit bulb was hanging off the end of the table.
Emma watched in fascination and then her mouth opened and her eyes widened.
"Mom, you're going to burn yourself."
"Better than getting beaten or shot to death when Danny gets back," Julie replied, but her voice wobbled and pitched like a ship in choppy waters. Gritting her teeth, she turned around, and held her bound wrists over the bulb. Copper flooded her mouth, and she started salivating at the tang as she bit her cheeks hard, to keep from crying out.
Emma jerked her head in an uncertain nod, and went back to her phone. Dialing numbers wasn't possible, and the voice command wasn't working without wifi, so calling 9-1-1 wasn't going to work. She had two contacts as shortcuts on her home screen: Evan and Ryan. Since Evan was back in San Diego, she settled for Ryan, and hoped he would answer this time.
~*~*~
Ryan's truck careened into the driveway, and he barely thrust the shifter into park before rushing out. He made a beeline for Emma's house, finding the door unlocked, but no one inside. Her car wasn't in the driveway, and he growled in frustration. Evan had already called him back, not being able to get ahold of Julie, and Emma had yet to be heard from.
He climbed back into the cab with less urgency than he'd exited, and thrummed his fingers agitatedly against the steering wheel in an erratic beat. Unease slithered around in his gut, and despite the late August heat, cold, clamminess shone on his skin.
It didn't feel right, and he was at a loss for what to do next.
On cue, his phone vibrated in his hand, startling him so that he almost dropped it. Cursing, he fumbled to answer the call without bothering to look at the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Ryan? Oh my God, Ryan!" Emma's voice was hardly recognizable, higher by a few octaves, and trembling with relief.
"Emma? Where are you? Are you okay?" He breathed a thankful sigh. "God, I've been so worried. I found the door open at the house, and when you weren't here..."
"I'm in trouble, Ryan." Her voice cracked, "I don't have great service, and I don't know when he'll be back."
"What happened?" Ryan's heart picked up and his stomach plummeted.
"Your dad used my mom, and he kidnapped me. He has a gun, and he's really angry." Her voice shook, and he could her breath shuddering out unevenly. "He was going to the house to find the key from the safe... You have to get out of there, Ryan. He's nuts, he'll kill you." Harsh sobs came across the line, as she started to break down. "He's coming back here for us. He's going to kill us."
Fury and dread smacked into Ryan hard at those words, and his chest ached at the sound of her crying, but he struggled to sound calm, keeping his voice even. "Emma, darlin', you need to tell me where you are so I can call for help, and you need to try to get out of there and hide."
"O-okay," she hiccuped, "I don't know what town we're in. It's somewhere northeast of the Cities. Might even be Wisconsin. He's got us in an abandoned motel called Perch Lake Roadside Inn, or something like that. He's got us tied up, and we're in the middle of nowhere. I don't know what to do, Ryan!" Her tone went up another octave, and she began crying again in earnest.
"You need to stay calm, Em. Breathe. I'm going to have to hang up with you so that I can call the police. Okay?"
"Y-yes. I'm so afraid," she admitted, her voice small.
"I know, baby. I'm scared, too. I need to make that call... just hang in there, alright?" his own voice cracked, "I love you, Emma. More than anything. Be careful."
"I love you, too," she whispered, quietly sobbing again.
She heard him suck in a deep breath before the line went dead.
A/N:
Happy Thanksgiving! Well, Black Friday, I guess. While everyone else is going nuts shopping, I am cozy at home, getting my update out to you!
Have a safe weekend, folks!
Jessa xx
P.S. This chapter is dedicated to @FTM--OG. Thank you so much for all of your votes and fanning. I really appreciate it, and so glad I could change your mind about 3rd Person POV, that's an amazing compliment for a writer ♥