"Helena is everything ok?" the sudden warm breath by her ear startled her slightly and as she looked over at Mark sitting beside her with the rest of Tim and Diana's friends and family all gathered around the outside ceremony where Tim was getting married to the love of his life Diana dressed so lovely in white. It had been about two months now and things with Mark were still the same, there was no hand holding, no kisses or anything else of that nature which Helena was relieved about. She just wasn't ready to move on yet and watching Tim and Diana standing together at the alter only saddened her as she knew that her and Johnny were planning to get married sometime this year.
Mark tried to remain quiet as he spoke but he could see how much sadness was in her eyes as she looked at her two friends getting wed. "It's not the baby is it?" he whispered suddenly concerned to which she simply looked at him and smiled sweetly at him for worrying so much "No...it's nothing, wedding's just make me emotional thats all" as brave as she was trying to sound even she was struggling to hold back the tears.
"Mum?" Billy's voice sounded from her other side and as she looked at her two angels she could see the concern in their little faces as she wiped away a tear. "I'm fine" she assured them continuing to smile even if it was hard to do so at this precise moment.
Billy and Nell were desperate to attend a wedding, they had sneakily asked Tim behind Helena's back if they could come and of course Tim was more then happy to have the pair of them there. Helena still brought Mark as her plus one just so she had someone to turn to if she needed to. She was aware Johnny was here somewhere, she had spotted him in the reception earlier today but only by long distant glances before they both went their own ways.
Filming had been weird these last couple of months. Tim had wanted to get all of Helena's scenes out of the way as her baby bump was beginning to show more distinctively now and Tim certainly couldn't have a pregnant Julia Hoffman. Shooting her last scene with Johnny had been strange. It was her death scene to kill her character off and as awkward as she thought it may be to have Johnny pin her up against the wall before sinking his teeth into her neck, it didn't feel that way at all. He hadn't spoken to her all day the only time she got any reaction or glances from him was when he was playing his part as Barnabas.
She knew he must have been drinking again as when he had her up against the wall with his lips and teeth gently touching her skin she could feel him practically kissing her neck before Tim yelled cut. And as soon as he had moved away from her she could see the desperation in his eyes the tiredness and the pain. Thinking back to that day on set Helena instantly felt worried again, she remembered him skulking off to his trailer and as she was leaving to go home she saw him leave or stumble down the steps with a bottle of whisky in his hand before walking off into the dark. At first she was going to drive round and pick him up but then thought she had best leave him. She had already told him to stop with the alcohol and it was clear it had gone though one ear and out of the other, he was a mess.
As the couple finished with their 'I Do's' Mark took hold of Helena's hand and squeezed it in support, he knew she must of been thinking about Johnny it was all to clear in her eyes. He didn't mind, in fact he was used to the fat she was still in love with the man he thought of as an arrogant drunk but still he was determined to try and pull her out of this. He adored Helena, she wasn't a stuck up actress like every other he had come across in his profession, she was sweet and delicate and passionate about her craft as an actress.
Billy watched as Mark took his mums hand, he wasn't sure about this guy. He didn't really trust any man with his mum after what happened with Johnny instead he just sat back in his seat and clapped along with the rest of the crowd as they applauded the newly weds walking back down the isle now as man and wife.
It was such a beautiful sunny day, a gorgeous day to get married everyone was dressed smartly in light and bright clothes while sipping elegantly at their champagne as they laughed and discussed Diana's bridal beauty and Tim's fortune for finding such a beautiful and loving wife. Helena was now stood smiling over sweetly at both Tim and Diana as they went around speaking to all their friends and family gathered here outside in the gardens of this beautiful English palace. It wasn't actually a palace just a very fine and expensive hostel with large rooms and huge dinning areas and out door swimming pools. The gardens were something like out of the first scene in the Alice in Wonderland movie but even more beautiful if that were possible.
"Let me get you a drink" Mark said pulling Helena back to the present as he smiled sweetly at her before leaving her side. Billy and Nell had run off to play with some of the other children playing hide and seek around the grounds but of course keeping in eyes view for their mothers sake, they didn't want her thinking she had lost them already.
"Finally caught you alone" a slightly slurred voice came from behind where she was standing making her instantly whiz round to see Johnny grinning at her foolishly making it all to clear he had had more then enough champagne already. She hasn't seen him all day and now she could see why, he had obviously been sharing drink after drink with Tim's friends.
"You look beautiful...." he said his face turning slightly more serious as he looked at her dress that was tight around her bust leaving it to fall perfectly over her now growing stomach all the way down just below her knees. It was a light blue dress with different kinds of frills finishing at the hem and at the tops of her shoulders. It was gorgeous and Johnny couldn't help but stare as he sipped at his champagne flute that was almost finished.
"Don't flit with me Johnny" her eyes were scanning his face, he didn't look well in fact he looked as he hadn't had any sleep for about a month. His eyes were darker then normal and his hair was barely brushed, it had grown a little longer and was now hanging around his face but certainly not neatly and he had stubble around his tried looking face. If anything Helena couldn't help but stare at him this very second. She was worried if truth be told, he didn't look like the man she once loved the clean cut gentleman she once adored.
"I can't help it Hellie, you really do look stunning" His eyes seemed to look her up and down hungrily this time and that was when her heart was beginning to ram against her chest. She felt naked in someway, so exposed.
"Johnny stop" his eyes immediately flickered back to her concerned face.
"Is everything alright Helena?" Marks cautious voice came towards them to which Johnny turned to look at the smartly dressed man carrying two drinks in his hands one obviously some mixed fruit drink as Helena couldn't drink alcohol. "Fine Marky" Johnny drawled making fun of his name which Helena immediately scolded him with her eyes. "Fine love, just give me a sec" with this she practically dragged Johnny further away from the crowd of people until they were standing just far enough away so no one could hear what they were saying.
"You're calling him love now?" Johnny asked as soon as they stopped and stared at each other. Flinging her head back and rolling her eyes in frustration Helena shook her head at him "I call everyone love, besides it shouldn't matter to you" he could tell she was becoming irritated by his jealousy "It does matter" Johnny stated before tilting his head back to finish the least drops of champagne "Why!" she spat angrily, seriously over this whole thing now.
"Because I love you!" Johnny growled at her his eyes flashing with anger as his words seem to mean nothing to her anymore. But little did he know that those very words were breaking her to pieces inside. Nasty name calling or cursing blew over her but as soon as the words 'I love you' fell from his lips that's when it really hurt, nothing was as painful. "You're drunk" she whispered in slight disgust now as they looked at each other overhearing the laughter and chatter only a couple of meters away from them.
Johnny knew he was anything but sober but what he definitely knew for sure was the words he had just said were nothing but the truth. "Hel.."
"You need to sort yourself out Johnny, clean yourself up and get back your life" the tears that formed in her eyes were tears of both pain and anger. She just wanted to move on and yet he was making this so difficult, so unfair for the both of them. "You are my life" he whispered sadly and truthfully as his eyes flickered down to the grass and as soon as he looked back he noticed Helena was not standing in front of him but instead walking her way back to the happy crowd of people. Back over to Mark who only shot him a warning look as he handed her the drink he had made her.
It wasn't that she hadn't heard him, she heard him alright yet she knew she would burst into fits of tears if she were to stay.
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"Nell, can we please just go back inside I'm bored of hide and seek" Billy moaned as his little sister continued pulling on his hand to follow her outside and back into the gardens even as it was really dark now with just the lights from the reception disco lighting up the gravel. Everyone was now gathered in the main hall for the evening where there was a live band playing music to which everyone was partying the night away.
"Come on Billy" she giggled pulling him outside with her while looking up at the nights sky covered in millions of stars. "One last game and then I want to go in....go hide" Billy then covered his face in his hands and began counting to 50 leaving Nell squelling excitably as she ran off to go hide from her brother. She could hear him approaching 30 and began to panic as to where to hide. The further down the gavelled path she ran she spotted a conservitarty just on the outside of the building.
Smiling to herself Nell picked up the pace and darted into the room only stopping in her tracks as she laid eyes on someone very failure smoking a cigarette with a bottle of something by his side and two empty glasses on the side table where he sat. "Johnny!" she called happily not wasting a single second before running over to him and imprisoning him tight in her hold as his eyes fell on the little girl. "Nell" He breathed happy to see her only holding onto his little girl tighter as she lost herself in his strong arms.
"What are you up to?" he asked before putting out his cigarette in the ash tray "Playing hide and seek...would you like to play too?" she piped up excitedly to which he could only smile down at her sadly. He used to love playing with both her and Billy whether it was hide or seek or dressing up games. Both Billy and Nell not only thought of Johnny as a step dad but also as a friend and thats why this only made this situation more unbearable. "Not right now sweetie"
"Nell you better be in here or...."Billy soon stopped in his tracks as he laid eyes on his sister cuddling that liar and betrayer. His eyes were glued to Johnny's and even Billy couldn't help the cold stare he was giving the actor "Get off him Nell" he spoke his eyes never leaving Johnny's face.
Johnny turned his gaze from Billy's to Nell's as he helped her of his knee. "Billy what's wrong..." She asked innocently as little Nell noticed him glaring at Johnny like he was some snake ready to lunge for them. "Go find mum" he replied simply ignoring her question but finally looking at her this time. "but..."
"Go" he practically barked at her to which she suddenly scurried off leaving the pair of them to find her mummy. Billy slowly brought his gaze back to Johnny noticing the empty bottle by his side and his cigarette bud still smoking away in the ashtray. "Don't be so hard on her son" Johnny said his eyes pretty tired and dizzy from the amount of alcohol.
"Don't tell me what to be and don't ever call me son" Billy's words seemed to sting like a slap around the face and his eyes seemed to glaze over with betrayed and angry tears. This was Billy, his billy the closest thing he ever had to a son. "Billy..." he started only to be cut off again.
"I hate you! I thought you were different from my father but what I didn't realise was that you were just the same as him....just as disappointing" the look of devastation and sadness in his little brown eyes made Johnny weep from within. His eyes showed nothing but anger and hate toward him now and Johnny knew he had only himself to blame. Not only did he break his mothers heart but also his. He was meant to be a father to the pair of them, someone to look up too when they grew up and yet he was just a drunk and cheater just like their dad. He was just a repeat of the misery they had all endured and for that reason alone Johnny felt sick to his core that he caused such grief for them.
Not really knowing what to say Johnny simply looked to the floor. He couldn't bare seeing Billy so heartbroken so upset. "Billy..." as soon as he said his name and looked up Johnny noticed he had gone. "I'm sorry" he found himself slowly mutter to himself as he shut his eyes painfully, the guilt and pain seemed to eat at him from within. No amount of sorry's could make up for what he had done to them all, nothing could ever make up for any of this trauma.
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The loud raw of party music from within the grand hall of this fantastic building was nothing but an echo to Johnny's ears. After his encounter with Billy Johnny had practically grabbed and bottle of what ever type of alcohol and had finished it to its end. He needed to get rid of the agony his heart was going through this evening. Needed something to knock him out from this miserable day he was having. And so with finishing the last drop of a bottle of champagne Johnny staggered in through the french doors over looking the gardens while watching as everyone partied and had a good time. He couldn't see any actual faces nor could he really see any bodies as they all seemed to blur into one. He was a mess, he knew that but didn't care, he needed a release from the pain and if getting smashed was what it took he would do it.
Holding Helena close as they laughed and danced to the music Mark made sure that they kept their distance from everyone else in the room. Practically everyone had had a little bit to much to drink and so as much fun as they were all having he still didn't want her to close considering she was pregnant and dead sober. Mark had a bit to drink but wasn't much of a drinker, only sociably would he find himself with a beer or glass in hand, never would he dream of getting drunk mind you. It wasn't safe and especially as he had Helena to look after.
"Tim!" Helena called smiling widely as the groom made his way over to them dancing his way through the crowd of people before hugging Helena and kissing her cheek "Hey!" he shouted over the music a huge grin spread across his happy face. It was clear he had a little too much as well but it was his wedding day after all so Helena could only smirk at him.
"How is the groom?" she asked smiling widely at him "Bloody fantastic! Married to the woman I love and am going to be a father....so amazing" he gushed happily before looking over at the man standing by Helena's side. "I'm glad" she chuckled before noticing him eyeing up Mark "Oh sorry this is my plus one Mark...he's been working on Dark Shadows" trying to jog Tim's mind when drunk was a little difficult "Oh yes! the sets guy!" Tim said shaking Marks hand "Congratulations to you" Helena smiled sweetly at Mark as he said this. He was such a good man, such a kind hearted guy.
"Thank you, thanks very much" looking back at Tim Helena noticed his face turn slightly serious "Hel have you seen Johnny at all, he's been at the drink all evening" Tim sounded very concerned when he spoke about this friend and rightly so. Helena too felt her stomach twist with slight worry but then a part of her wanted to roll her eyes. He was only making this harder for himself by drinking his life away. "I saw him earlier....he seemed drunk then as well"
"Tim!!" someone suddenly called for him making him turn to see one of his friends waving him over. "Don't worry about him Tim, enjoy your evening" Helena smiled leaning forward to kiss his cheek before feeling him squeeze her hand supportively before getting lost back in the crowd.
"And you must not worry about him either" Mark reasoned with a knowing smile as he brought her back into her arms slowly dancing to the music as it was now playing a soft number. "I know" she sighed more to herself then anything as she looked to the floor. "You really are beautiful tonight Helena" she heard him whisper by her ear before lifting her chin so that she would look into his warm eyes that gave of nothing but love for her. "I won't let anyone hurt you again" he said finally making her gulp subtly as his lips gently moved to cover hers kissing her softly and tenderly as they swayed to the music.
The sudden sinking feeling inside him felt as his heart had truly broken in two. Johnny's eyes were glued to the pair of them from across the room even if everything seemed a little hazy. He was kissing her. His Hellie.
If the world was to crash it certainly felt as if it had done now. No physically injury or harsh word was as painful as this precise moment, nothing had hurt so much. He watched as they broke away from each other and then noticed Helena's eyes suddenly meet his followed by Marks looking at him as well now. Moving away from the door way and back into the gardens he felt a sudden rage build up inside him. A sudden anger that made his eyes harden and his body shake with loathing. Fuming was an understatement for how he felt as he walked further and further into the gardens before hiding behind a tall green bush where he rested his body against to try and calm down.
God he felt as if he could kill, truly murder someone tonight. Now he realised what it really felt to be his character Sweeney Todd with a thirst for blood, anyones blood.
"Johnny!" his name sounded like an echo but he realised it was Helena running towards where he was hiding behind the bush and as soon as she called his name again and ran past where he was standing he was quick to grasp her wrist tightly which instantly made her jump before wrenching her harshly back towards him, pushing her roughly against the bush. "what are you.." before she could get her words out Johnny covered his lips with hers making her squeal in shock as he kissed her demandingly and roughly so she couldn't free herself from him.
"You're MINE!" he growled angrily before kissing her again just as harshly while tightening his grip on both of her wrists so she couldn't move. He could feel her tense and could hear her struggling to break the kiss and the hold he had over her. Breaking away Johnny looked into her frightened eyes as he quickly lifted his hand to her neck holding her jaw in place as he stared into her soul. "Stop" she trembled her eyes full of tears let alone fear as she looked at him.
Her one free hand was covering his that was around her neck, he wasn't strangling her or anything just holding her jaw so that she couldn't move from looking at him. "You're mine" he repeated almost a whisper as he looked into her eyes and at the way her body was shaking nervously as he held her tight. her chest heaved with every breath and as she gulped nervously Johnny couldn't keep his drunken eyes from her neck and chest. "You're so beautiful" he said before crashing his lips to her skin kissing her and sucking at her neck as if he couldn't get enough of her. "Johnny" Helena cried bitting her lip as the tears soon streamed down her face. She was scared, frightened of what he might do next.
"Stop please!" she sobbed as his lips continued to kiss along her neck up her jaw until they found there way back to her lips, tasting and biting as if he was hungry for more.
"I want you so bad" he murmured kissing her forcefully again before he let go of her neck and wrist and began to explore her body with his hands making her squirm against him. Now that her hands were free Helena was able to push him from her slightly breaking their kiss as soon as her hands were planted against his chest. "Stop!"
Breathing heavily Johnny tired to focus his eyes on hers only now noticing the tears and now realising the fear that was hidden in those beautiful brown orbs. Only then did it dawn on him that she was frightened, that he had scared her. He could have raped her and not of know, this wasn't him, this wasn't who he was. "You kissed him" he suddenly heard himself saying as he looked at her again.
"Tell me please..." Johnny slurred timidly as he moved closer to her which suddenly made her tense again to which he noticed very quickly "Tell me you haven't....slept with him" he managed to get out. Her eyes were cautious as she watched him, she didn't know what he might do next and for that reason alone she kept on guard. But what she did see now was the heartbroken man in front of her. She could see the suffering in his eyes, the pain and agony was all to clear, all she felt now was sympathy for him, he was hurting.
"Would you really think I would do that as I'm carrying your child?" she asked softly.
Johnny simply tried to get himself together, he felt so dizzy so utterly confused about everything that he felt he may pass out. Helena noticed just how clueless he was and in someways wanted to just reach out to him, he looked so lost so completely in his own little world. "Johnny...." she whispered before he moved back over closer to her but she didn't flinch this time nor did she show any signs of fear instead she just looked at him sadly. "Please don't" he whispered almost as if shy "do what?"
"Sleep with him" it was almost cute to her. It touched her heart. He was acting like a lost puppy, a worried little boy with the idea he may lose her forever. "Oh Johnny" she whispered this time cupping his face making him look at her in her now sympathetic eyes
"Please Helena I'm serious....I....I don't know what i'd do" he really was quite sweet. For the first time she couldn't help but stroke his cheek as he finally looked at her. Cupping her face in his hands Johnny kissed her again not so roughly this time but still forcefully "Johnny...Don't" Helena gasped as she broke the unexpected kiss before feeling him kiss her again that instantly made her struggle to push him off. It wasn't funny now, she thought this was over. "Stop!"
The sudden feeling of him being pulled from her made Helena's eyes widen as she watched Mark suddenly punch him hard around the face. "You fucking piece of shit!" Mark yelled as he laid another hard punch across Johnny's face causing him to topple to the ground and for Helena to cover her mouth in shock. "Mark don't!" she tried stopping him seeing Johnny coughing painfully on the ground and spitting blood from his mouth as he chocked.
Ignoring her Mark removed his evening jacket and chucked it to the floor "Get up!" he yelled at Johnny on the floor while he rolled up his sleeves as if to fight him. "Mark! He's drunk, stop this" Helena was quick to try and stop this madness.
"Do you realise she's pregnant! you could have hurt her! not only that but she sick!" with this rage he had going Mark suddenly kicked Johnny hard in the stomach causing not only Johnny to cry out in pain but Helena too as she watched him lying there helplessly. "Mark!" she screamed angrily grabbing his arm and pulling him away. "Are you Mad!"
"I'm sorry Hel" she heard Johnny whisper as he held his stomach in pain curled up in a ball to try and not be so winded from his blow. "Johnny" her eyes were full of guilt and shock as she watched him slowly make his way to his feet with great difficulty.
"I'm going...You're right Mark, I keep fucking up...." Johnny wiped the blood from his mouth as he looked at the pair of them "Everything I do makes things a thousand times worse....But that's it....you'll not have to worry about me again" his words seemed to shake something inside of her. What did that mean? what was he saying?
"Wha..what do...what are you saying?" Helena asked her heart hammering away with fear "I'm saying you wont be hurt anymore" Johnny said spitting out a mouthful of blood while cradling his arms around himself before walking away from the pair of them leaving them both slightly confused at what he meant.
As soon as he was out of sight Helena suddenly felt a cold flush of panic run through her body. "Let him go" Mark said taking hold of her hand. "Mark, I can't....He's going to do something stupid" she said the worry in her tone all to clear and as she removed her hand from his, she was gone.
Starting the car had not been easy and now as Johnny was driving his Mercedes down the road at 50 mph he could feel his eyes begin to droop and his legs to go suddenly limp. His head was spinning and the wheel seemed to slip from his fingertips, the last thing he remembered seeing was a bright light heading towards him and the noise of horn sounding harshly before it seemed to turn into nothing but an echo.....
A/N: A cliffhanger!!!!!!!!! spent all evening on this, really hope you liked it let me know your thoughts would love to hear some feedback on this chapter as its taken me so long to write. Probably one of the longest chapters i have ever written:) Thanks for reading <3<3