Lately I've just spend time with Lucas, Tasha and Cameron and mostly I eat dinner with Marshall and Amy. I don't wanna spend much time with Marshall because I don't need my feelings to get stronger for him. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt like shit when he turned me down and therefore I avoid him, unfortunately that influences Amy because I'm not much around them. Me and Amy has been her for a good 3 weeks now and I don't feel the urge to go back to New York. Amy is doing good here and I like to be around Tasha and Lucas.
I'm at Marshall's house right now just to spend a little time with Amy since I'm eating with Lucas and Tasha tonight.
"I was thinking that me and Amy could pick you up tomorrow and we could spend the day together." Marshall walks up behind me in the kitchen where I'm grabbing a water in the kitchen. Amy is in the living room waiting for me to continue the game that we're playing.
"Why?" I ask. "I think me and Amy need a day alone instead." I don't even look at him.
"Is this about the fact that I don't wanna try again?" He asks.
"No." I say and look at him. "This is about the fact that we've been here for 3 weeks and you demand to have Amy all the time. I need to have some alone time with her too Marshall."
"I get that, I feel you Amelia but that wasn't my suggestion." He says.
"I know but that's what I want. I don't need to play happy fucking family with you." I say.
"What the fuck is wrong with you Amelia?" He frowns. "It's you who's made me realize that we need to be a family."
"I just don't feel for that tomorrow." I say.
"Then I'm just gonna drop her off tomorrow at the house and then you can spend the day with her." He says.
"Thanks." I say and I walk past him but he grabs my arm.
"You're sure this hasn't something to do with our talk, cus you've been acting fucking strange since then?" He asks.
"I'm sure." I lie and he looks at me for awhile but don't say anything and neither do I.
"You're such a fucking liar." He says.
"And that's exactly why I don't wanna spend the day with you." I say and yank his hand off me. "I don't wanna spend time with an idiot who constantly disrespects me." And with those words I walk back to Amy.
I finish the game with Amy and then Lucas picks me up
During the whole night I can't even concentrate. Lucas and Tasha are nice company and Cameron is so cute but I guess I'm a mess lately. My life has no structure, I feel like a bad mother because I feel like I'm letting Amy down, I feel that I don't spend enough time with her. I'm still in love with the man who totally broke my heart and betrayed me. I love a man who doesn't wanna be with me. I fucked up a good relationship because I'm blind, blind by a fucking idiot. I'm a mess because I keep fucking up and I've realized that I'll probably do that to the day I die. I don't change, I keep making bad decisions in my life and I'm always standing in shit to over my head. I'm drowning in shit.
Today I just wanna drink and get fucked up, I don't even wanna be here with Lucas and Tasha as mean as it sounds.
"Are you alright?" Tasha suddenly interrupts my thoughts.
"No, actually I don't feel good." I lie.
"You want me to drive you home?" Lucas asks.
"Would you mind?" I ask.
"No man." He says and gets up. "If you don't feel good then we don't wanna hold you." I've been here for about 5 hours but I always stay until midnight. Right now I just wanna get home so I can get changed and go to some club. I just wanna have a few drinks, maybe sleep with some random guy to feel just a little loved. I'm not gonna get totally hammered since Marshall is gonna drop Amy off tomorrow.
"What's going on, sis?" Lucas asks. He knows me so well and I know that he sees right through me, he knows I'm not sick, he knows I'm in a bad state. I haven't told him or Tasha about me and Marshall's talk and I don't intend to tell them.
"What do you mean?" I ask. "I do feel sick."
"Maybe emotionally but there's nothing wrong with your health. You're never sick." He points out.
"And therefore I can't get sick?" I frown.
"Yeah but I know you and right now you're lying right up in my face man." He says offended.
"Have you considered that it's not everything I wanna talk about?" I spat.
"Then tell me that instead man."
"Fine! I don't wanna talk about it!" I get irritated.
"Fine." He says and there's silence for the rest of the drive home.
I go straight to the bedroom where I choose to wear a tight red dress which shows all my curves and has a low v cut. I put on some little extra makeup and then I run a flat iron through my hair. I call a cab and it takes me to Iven. I don't even know if Jake is at work today but I don't care. I just need to party.
I arrive to Iven where I go straight to the bar and get a Long Island ice tea, I need something that works fast. The bartender serves it to me and I drink the whole drink very fast and then I order another one.
"Someone is thirsty." The guy next to me chuckles.
"Or someone needs to get drunk really fast." I say not even looking at the guy.
"You haven't changed much Amelia." The guy says which makes me look at him. I don't know this guy, I can't even recognize him.
"Do I know you?" I ask.
"You don't remember me shorty?" The guy asks.
"No." I say and the bartender serves my second drink now.
"You were all over me one time at New Year's Eve and then I got into a fight with your boyfriend." He says now and I recognize him and it's not a guy I'm thrilled to be standing here talking to.
"Marcus." I just say and I take my drink as I wanna get away from him. Marcus has always been bad news and I doubt that it has changed.
"Wow wow wow, wait a minute." He laughs and grabs my arm. "What's with the attitude?"
"Don't touch me." I frown as I yank his hand off me.
"Are you really still pissed about something that happened almost 20 years ago?" He frowns.
"No, I just don't wanna socialize with you." I say.
"Fine bitch." He rolls his eyes and I walk down at the other end of the bar where I drink my drink very fast. The alcohol is about to kick in which is very nice. I order another drink and I look out in the crowd of people to see if there's any hot guys. My eyes catches Jake walking around to check if everything is okay. He's at work tonight. I walk over to him and grab his arm, he turns around and look at me.
"Hi Amelia." He says and gives me a hug. "I didn't expect to see you here again."
"Well I thought I'd give it another chance." I say.
"I hope you stay out of trouble this time." He chuckles.
"I just met Marcus. Do you remember him?" I ask.
"Oh yeah.. we've also had a few problems with him here." Jake sighs.
"He also expected me to chit chat with him but I walked away." I tell him.
"Smart choice." He smiles. "Are you here with anyone?"
"No, I'm lonely and have no friends. Remember?" I giggle.
"I actually think I saw Robyn somewhere around." Jake says. That would absolutely safe my night!
"I'm just gonna text her." I say and grab my phone.
To; Robyn (11:37pm)
Are you at Iven?
"I catch you later." Jake says. "Behave."
"I'm always behaving." I say and hug him.
"Sure." He laughs and I push his shoulder lightly.
From; Robyn (11:41)
Yeah, are you here too?
Reply to Robyn (11:44)
Let's meet in the bar
I walk up to the bar and Robyn is already there with some friends. I'm so lucky that she's here tonight because then I don't have to find a random group to join.
"Hi girl." She says and hugs me. "This is Nikita, Mason and Frank." She introduces her friends. I hoped she would have a hot friend.. I shake everybody's hand and introduce myself. "What brings you here?" Robyn asks.
"I guess I needed a night out."
"Good, me too!" She smiles. "But don't put a bitch in hospital this time."
"I promise." I laugh.
Robyn begins to order some shots and along with my drinks then I quickly get drunk. It's nice, it feels so good to just be drunk and don't think about my life and how fucked up it is. Me and Robyn are having so much fun and it's just all good.
"Having fun?" Jake asks in my ear.
"Yes." I say and turn around and look at him. He looks so good, if he didn't have a wife and a new baby on its way then I would have slept with him. Jake have always been good looking and every girls dream, of course not mine because I had Marshall but I gotta admit he's hot. "Are you gonna drive me home today?"
"If you can wait to the club closes?" Jake asks.
"No problem." I say and I feel Robyn taking my hand.
"I need to pee." She says and I follow with her to the bathroom. "Are you hitting on Jake?"
"No." I frowned confused.
"Girl you're eating him with your eyes." Robyn giggles.
"Seriously.. I wouldn't do that with him being married and with his wife being pregnant." I tell her. I know how it is to get cheated on so no, I wouldn't do that.
"Girl, she's a fucking bitch anyway. She treats him like shit." Robyn tells me.
"Still." I say.
"You would do him a favor though." She says and she takes a little bag with white powder up from her bra.
"What's that?" I ask curious as she lines it up on the sink.
"Please don't be a fucking buzz killer." She sighs.
"No, I'm just curious." I say.
"It's amphetamine." She says. "Do you want some?"
"Yeah." I say and Robyn cut two lines for us. I haven't done drugs since college and that was cocaine. I just need to be as far away from reality right now so I sniff the line which burns all the way up my nose but holy shit.. it feels good.
"It's some good shit, right?" Robyn asks me smiling.
"Really good." I say and I dry my nose from any access.
"I'm so fucking glad that you're back in Detroit." She laughs.
"I'm not back in Detroit." I laugh. "It's just temporarily."
"Whatever man. It's all good." Robyn says. We walk out of the bathroom and we head up to the bar again where we're getting more drinks. I'm so high on alcohol and drugs, it's just fucking great. My fingers are tickling and my whole body feels the music, it's a strange but good feeling. I drag Robyn to the dance floor and we just dance.
We drink and dance for hours, once in awhile we go out to the bathroom and cut a few more lines. I can't remember the last time I had this fun.
Around 4 I walk out to take some fresh air and I see Jake standing talking with one of the bouncers so I don't interrupt, I just walk past him and a little away from the entrance.
"You okay?" Jake asks as he walks over to me.
"I'm good." I smile. "It just became really hot in there."
"I'm off in about 30 minutes. You still want a ride home?" He asks.
"Yes, thanks." I say smiling. I run my hand down his chest and play with his tie. He's so hot. "Things were more simple when we were younger."
"Things have never been simple with you." Jake chuckles.
"You're right." I laugh. "I've always been that fucked up girl."
"I wouldn't say that." Jake says softly. "Complicated maybe but not fucked up." He says.
"Liar." I laugh and look at him.
"No." he becomes more serious now and I pull his tie just to see his reaction. He pushes me a little against the wall and we're now very close. "You know I have a weakness for you. Why are you doing this to me?"
"Do you have a weakness for me?" I smile.
"I always had." He admits.
"Then you should just fuck the shit out of me tonight." I smile and bite my bottom lip. Right now I don't give a fuck about his wife or his unborn child, I only care about my own satisfaction.
"Don't tempt me." He says but his eyes tell me otherwise.
"It's really up to you." I say and wrap his tie around my wrist so I can pull him closer. "But I know you want to." I say in his ear and I nibble on his earlobe afterwards. He doesn't say anything which says it all. I let go of his tie and walk towards the entrance. "I'll be in the bar, just get me when you're off duty." I say and walk inside.
I go up in the bar and get a few more shots and drinks with Robyn. I don't tell her anything about what just went on outside.
About 45 minutes later Jake comes up to me in the bar, I say my goodbye to Robyn and then we walk out and get into the car.
"You're gonna come with me inside when you drop me off, right?" I ask him and I lay my hand on his thigh.
"You're all alone in the house?" He asks me.
"Yes."
"You're a bad influence Amelia Dane." He chuckles.
"I've heard that before." I giggle. We get to the house and I walk out to the kitchen. I'm thirsty as hell because of the drugs so I get a water in the fridge. "Are you hungry?" I ask him. He's been at work all night so he must me.
"A little." He says.
"Let me fix that for you." I say. I take some eggs and some paprika and make him an omelet.
When he's done eating, I grab his hand and drags him to the bedroom, I don't say anything because we both already know why he came here. I push him down on the bed and sit on top of him, I kiss him and suddenly I find us both naked. It's like it all goes so fast but I'm sure it's the drugs. The drugs make everything better though. I feel the sex in a way that I've never felt before. I don't know how long we keep going, I lose track of time but I know that we just keep going.
But suddenly the door goes up, I sit on top riding Jake and I turn my head to see a very pissed Marshall..