AVI's P.O.V
- I'm sorry, but who are you?
Those words hit me like no fist could. Such a harmless question that hurt my soul, which was groaning in agony, disbelief, and discord. I was broken. How? How could this happen? The woman I love, whom I shared a home with, the one who wakes up next to me in the morning, and whom I've shared countless memories - now apparently deleted -, whom I have chosen to belong for the rest of my life... does not know who I am. Does not remember me. Why... why did this happen?
I felt tears flow from my wide opened eyes, as my hands were static in the air, with no reaction, no fluidity. She had a confused, scared, and fragile look. My heart ached to watch her like that, and to assimilate the words that had just come out of her mouth.
- Honey, you do not remember who he is? - Dr. Mary said, pulling me away with a delicate gesture to lean on my forgetful wife.
- I'm sorry... I can't... I can not remember, it's all so jumbled, I...
- Baby, is me, Avi. Your husband. Can't you recognize me? - I interrupted, gently taking her hand to show the ring on her fingers. She pressed her back onto the matress in a frightened impulse that made me collect my action and return to my place.
- Husband? I... I am married? No... that's not possible, I don't know you - she said, as tears formed in her eyes - forgive me but... I just can't remember.
My world stopped right there.
______________________________________________
Daniel and I were collecting the belongings from the hospital room, making sure that nothing was left behind while Alice talked to Elisa. The instant I was aware of the accident, I called them, telling what had happened and asking to alert Alice's parents, since I did not speak portuguese. My wife and her family are brazilian, but Daniel and Elisa, her older siblings, lived in Australia, where I've met Ali. Once they received my call, both of them immediately flew to LA, which was comforting to Alice, that doesn't remember anything around her.
Two weeks ago while driving back from work, Ali was hit by a drunk driver who've lost his car's direction. As a result, my wife suffered a head trauma and remained unconscious for three days. When she woke up, the last five years had been erased from her memory... Alice thought she had just graduated from the University of Sydney, was an intern at an automobile company and share an apartment with her sister. Everything that we've lived from the very beginning, was snatched awat of her mind on the accident's impact. My wife didn't know who I was.
We'd spent the last weeks trying to stimulate her memories, instincts and senses. Apparently, the shock decreased Ali's ability to maintain focus through multiple conversations; little noises and loud movements frightened her, and she felt fragile. Fortunately, this was a simple injury, and Alice had already shown improvements. It was a matter of social adaptation, and it would be fine soon. I spent hours talking to her, trying to bring up some memories of our relationship: photos, videos, conversations... nothing reminded her of me, and she was constantly uncomfortable when I approached her. Like a timid little kid.
It all have happened very fast and I couldn't assimilate things very well. I was exhausted from the shock of the news, which caught me off guard at the end of Pentatonix's tour. Everyone was understanding when I took the first flight home, and showed consistent support during these weeks. The band, which was basically the social group that surrounded us, was not familiar to Alice: once best friends, they were now only faces, not smeared or blurred, but completely erased, blank. As mine.
Elisa and Daniel had jobs they couldn't leave behind, and in Dan's case, a wife and son. There was no possibility for them to stay longer in the U.S., and they had already booked flights back to Australia. I could feel the fear take care of me since I was a stranger to Ali, and all she had - at least she thought she had - was beside her siblings.
It was hospital discharge's day, and I honestly didn't know what to expect. We entered Dr. Mary's office of to receive the latest tips and prescriptions. The girls sat while Daniel and I remain standing, holding what had been taken from the room.
- Alice dear, I can see that you feel better. Your tests show that your reflexes have not suffered damage and trauma not leave sequelae. You are great. - Said the doctor, making me sigh from relieve, knowing Ali was ok. She was my most prized possession, my everything. The fact she had survived after such a serious accident comforted me, despite knowing how it would seriously alter our lives from now on.
- About your memory - she continued – hopefully it will be back gradually. Stimulating it by frequenting places you used to, chatting with your friends here in Los Angeles and trying to relive the last months, can bring significant improvements in their development. For that, although I understand that it is confusing at the moment, it would be very important for you to live with your husband.
I waited trembling for a reaction, staring at the back of her neck, waiting for an answer, something positive, something negative, SOMETHING. Elisa shook her shoulders gently and whispered an 'it's okay honey', and I saw the fearful face of Ali coming back to me slowly. Her eyes met mine and I immediately opened my lips to comfort her, by assuring I understood her decision and would do everything possible to offer help, but she interrupted my thoughts.
- It's okay - she said, turning to face the doctor quickly. I sighed, relieved, but trying to organize my mind: how will I make it work?
- Great - said the doctor, smiling. We will mark periodic visits to keep up with your development. Until then, you're ok to go. All the best Alice!
We said our goodbyes to Dr. Mary and withdrew from the office, heading for the hospital parking lot. Instead of going directly home, we went to the airport to escort Daniel and Elisa on their way back home. The farewell was long, and I saw on Alice's hugs a desperation, as if she wanted to be taken with them. I stood there with my head down, understanding it, but feeling somewhat ill-at-ease by it all.
The ride home was quiet. I didn't know what to think or say. Several times I've parted my lips in an attempt to break the silence, but no sound got out of my mouth. It embarrassed me to think that I wouldn't be as comfortable with Ali, especially when we always had the most beautiful friendship. There was freedom, trust and partnership in our marriage and we were always in tune. The intimacy accomplished in 4 years of relationship, was worthless at that moment. To my dear wife, I would be a stranger she was splitting the ceiling with.
- We live in a house, or an apartment? - Alice interrupted my thoughts.
- Apartment. You never liked houses, and we thought it would be more discreet.
- Right... and what is my job?
- You are the chief mechanical engineer of an automobile company. In fact, the same you had your internship back in Australia, MG Motors. A few months after graduating, they hired you and you were transferred to the headquarters here in LA. It was during a company event, just before coming to the USA, that we'd met. Kevin was invited to play the cello, and I followed him while we were still on tour. We met a few times after that party, and even after I came back home, we kept in touch. When you got here, we continued to see each other. But... I gues I've told you the story at the hospital, right?
She agreed smiling quietly, and we continued like this until we get home. We didn't live in a fancy or glamorous condo. Alice has always been very simple and reserved, so the only concern we had was the location: a quiet place, distant, where the chaos of the city wasn't as suffocating. We left the car and she waited by the stairs until I had everything in hands. I guided her to our door and opened it, reaching out as a classic gesture of presentation. She looked at me smiling, and got in timidly.
The apartment was a desert, with a frew traces of my brief visits to pick up clothes and go back to the hospital. I could see her inspecting every detail of the living room with curious and enthusiastic eyes. Despite not as large or luxurious, the place was immaculately engineered: large windows that stretched across the room, bringing natural light during the day, and covered by thick curtains for our privacy at night. The bright couches were placed in a corner, with a simple and small table separating them from the TV. Just to the left of the entrance door there was the kitchen, extensive in length and opposite to a balcony, that had long chairs for small meals. The table located to the right of the entrance, was made with drained wood and black details that matched the chairs. Alice and I chose together all the furniture and decor, and she always felt very comfortable with the decisions we have made, so I was curious to know her reaction now.
- What do you think? – I asked empting my hands and bringing them to my pocket, checking the place with her, after resting my attention to what she had to say.
- Wow. - She sighed. I smiled.
I was anxious to find out what would happen from now on.