Chapter 34
*Haley's P.O.V.*
Well, three weeks have passed since the deaths of Derek and Dani. Last week was Derek's funeral and now I'm standing in the musty old funeral home in my hometown, wearing a black dress and surrounding myself with sad people who are mourning the life of the beautiful Danielle Manchester.
They boys had to postpone a couple concerts for the funerals, but the fans were supportive, which was much appreciated.
I was sitting on an old, stiff, outdated floral couch next to Niall. His arm was around my shoulders, comforting me as I leaned sadly into his side. The whole gang was scattered around the room amongst the throngs of kids from my school. I was happy none of them had fangirled over the presence of One Direction. I would not have tolerated that at my best friend's wake. Just as I thought things couldn't get any worse, in waltzed the devil himself.
He was dressed simply in a tight black button up shirt with dark gray pinstripes which was tucked into a pair of black dress pants. His curly black fringe hung in his ice blue eyes as the flickered, surveying the room. I watched him, tensing up. As his eyes found mine, all I wanted to do was look away. But I couldn't. Niall must have followed my gaze, because he tightened his grip on me protectively.
"Is that him?" Niall whispered angrily. I nodded curtly. Chase smiled, the corners of his thick pink lips raising the way they would if he was waving to a friendly acquaintance. He waved awkwardly and I managed to lift one corner of my mouth and swipe the air in front of me in response. It was like we were strangers. Even though the thought was slightly disturbing, it actually comforted me. Strangers was an improvement on what we used to be. I glanced over at Niall as Chase sauntered over. His wondrous blue eyes were cautious and full of warning. Chase didn't even seem to notice. "Hey, Haley," he smiled.
"Hey there, Chase," I replied, forcing myself to smile. All I wanted to do was puke. Being in the presence of the boy who broke me and the boy who fixed me mixed with the stuffy smell of the old room and the fact that my best friend had killed herself can make a girl feel a bit sick. His amazingly blue eyes made their way to Niall.
"Hello," he smiled charismatically. "I'm Chase." He extended out his pale, slender hand to Niall who grasped it and shook it firmly. I saw that he was smiling, but the disgust was evident in his eyes.
"Niall," he introduced himself. Chase's grin widened. His kindness was creeping me out.
"Pleased to meet you! Love the accent by the way," Chase complimented with a wink. Dafuq...? Niall blushed and looked down.
"Tanks," he mumbled. "I get that a lot." I giggled at that, gaining curious looks from both boys. I just looked at them, smiling stupidly. Oops, was that not supposed to be humorous?
"Uhm, Haley, may I talk to you in private for a moment, please?" Chase requested politely. It seemed like he was asking Niall more than me. Niall looked at me questioningly and I gave him a reassuring look, following Chase. He slipped his soft hand into mine as he led me away from my safe haven. His touch felt so wrong. Horrible memories came flooding into my mind and the room began to spin. He still smelled the same, looked the same, felt the same. It was haunting, really. He took me out into the hall and stopped once we reached the corner at the end. He turned around, his ice cold eyes burning into mine. I kept a straight face, masking my confusion and fear.
"Yes?" I asked calmly. Suddenly, his eyes flashed with something I had never seen in them before: sadness. Regret. He looked almost apologetic.
"Haley, I know we ended on a bad note..." he started.
"Yeah, no shit," I grumbled, becoming uneasy. Just looking at him made my stomach churn. Sirens were going off in my head, telling me to run away.
"Well, I'm sorry it had to end like that," he apologized, ignoring my statement. I looked at him incredulously. Then it turned into rage.
"But it didn't have to end that way! It didn't have to end with you abusing me, verbally and physically. It didn't have to end with me feeling like the worthless piece of shit you claimed I was. It didn't have to end with me puking up everything I ingested and you getting a girl pregnant!" I whisper shouted the words I had wanted to tell him for years. I braced myself for the blow that was sure to come. But... it didn't come.
"Y-you heard about that?" he stumbled nervously, referring to the pregnancy and playing with his hands. What the fuck? This can't be Chase, I thought in disbelief. If this was Chase, I would be either bruised, bleeding, or both right now. I nodded. "Oh," he said simply.
"Way to go," I sneered sarcastically. He looked up at me with eyes so sad and hurt; I could've sworn they were a blue version of mine three years prior. I just looked at him in confusion.
"You think I'm going to leave her, don't you?" he asked quietly.
"Well, yeah..." I replied. "Aren't you?" I could not picture that boy as a father.
"Haley, I love Brittany." I flinched at the name of the girl he had cheated on me with. And, love? That beast was not capable of love. "And that's my daughter we're talking about! I know, you can't see me as a father, but when it becomes reality... When you realize you're going to have a child of your own... Something can change inside you, believe me. Once she has the baby, I'm not giving up. I'll drop out of school and get an at-home tutor if I need to. I'm going to do my best." I just looked at him. I was completely dumbfounded. I couldn't even process what he had just said to me.
"So I leave your life for a few years, you fuck a chick and get her knocked up, and then all of a sudden you're a fucking saint?" I asked. He sighed.
"Look, I know what I did to you was wrong, but I said I was sorry!" he exclaimed. I swear my hand was just itching to slap him right across the face. In fact, I did. Served him right, he deserved way more than that to even the score. He looked at me and instead of rage I just saw regret. I actually kind of liked it. He should regret what he did to me!
"Sorry can't fix the bruises you gave me! Sorry can't fix the bulimic stage you made me go through! Sorry can't fix the fact that you practically broke me eternally! Thank god I met Niall, because if I never did I would have never learned to trust again, to love." I slapped him the other way for emphasis.
"I know sorry can't fix it, but it's all I can offer you!" he whimpered desperately. After a few moments of consideration I sighed and shook my head at him.
"Fine, I forgive you," I decided. "But I really think you should leave. No offense, but I don't think Dani wants you here." He nodded and headed toward the giant wooden doors.
"Forgiveness is all I wanted," he stated as he walked away. "Goodbye, Haley."
"Goodbye, Chase." I felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was nice to have an almost violence-free parting from him. It was like a fresh start... Kind of. I walked back into the room where the people were mourning. I surveyed the attendees, taking in the scene. Michelle and Zayn were in one of the corners, Michelle in a tight black lace dress that took everyone's breath away. It also made Zayn a bit more possessive, as it was obvious every single guy in the room wanted to 'hit that'. Liam and Sydney were socializing well Jesse tagged along quietly, never leaving each others' sides. Megan was sitting next to Harry on one of the uncomfortable old couches, holding his hands in hers. They were sitting very close to each other, and Meggy even had her ankles crossed through Harry's. The two had grown very close lately, which made me happy. I saw Lou being stupid and making Julia smile, even though I knew she didn't want to. I could only imagine how happy he was making her, as it had been her life goal to marry him. (Well, either him or Roger Davis.) I smiled when I saw Niall walking toward me with a plate full of cookies.
"What did he want?" he asked with concern as he led me back to the couch we had previously been occupying. I stole a cookie as we sat down.
"He was just clearing the air," I informed him simply. He seemed a bit suspicious, but he accepted my explanation. I loved how he didn't question me. He encircled me in his arm and I leaned into his side.
*Jesse's P.O.V.*
I stood on the shore, my feet sinking into the cool sand as the warm water lapped at my bare feet. It was about eight o'clock in the evening, and it was around sunset. We were on the East Coast, so the sun didn't set over the ocean, but it still made beautiful golden sparks sparkle over the surface of the water. I held Derek's urn in my hands tightly. The not requesting his ashes be dumped into the ocean was addressed to Dani, but obviously she couldn't fulfill the task. So since someone else needed to, I was unanimously nominated.
As honored as I was, I knew it was also going to be hard. I knew it was what he wanted, but I just wanted to hold Derek close to me forever. I closed my eyes, listening to the soft crash as the sea foam tickled my toes as it rushed forward then receded repeatedly. It took all I had but I knew it was what he wanted. I slowly lifted the top off of the ceramic container and poured the ashes of my first and only love into the ocean. Tears streamed down my cheeks and leaking onto my chapped lips as violent tremors shook through my body. My knees sank into the sand as I fell, watching the blackness drift away. "I love you," I whispered shakily through my trembling lips. I placed my headphones and blasted "A Lifetime" as I sat there, hugging my knees to my chest. I wondered if the others would mind if I slept there...
*Zayn's P.O.V.*
"Jesse," I said, shaking his unconscious body. "Jesse, wake up!" I screamed. It was one in the bloody morning. He groaned and rolled over, his black eyes looking up at me in confusion. I pulled him to his feet. "You had us all worried sick, mate! Don't you know it's one in the morning?" I screamed. But I saw the tear stains on his cheek and his mussed white hair and instantly felt bad for snapping at him. "I'm sorry, mate," I apologized, pulling him into a hug. I felt a wetness graze my leg. I looked down and saw that the bottom half of Jesse was soaked. I shook my head at him, grinning. "Come on, let's get you home and dry. The others are really worried," I informed him, escorting him up the dark beach to the car. He followed, not saying anything. I was hoping he wasn't going to stay that way.
*Julia's P.O.V.*
"Well, once I was dumped for not being good looking enough," Louis admitted, chuckling slightly at the memory. I gaped at him in disbelief. We were sitting cross legged facing each other on his bed in the hotel room we were currently staying in. Everyone else was asleep, but I couldn't fall asleep. I had been texting Louis from my hotel room, and he had told me to come over as he couldn't sleep either. We had been talking for about an hour now, an oblivious Harry dead asleep on the bed across the room.
"Seriously?" I asked incredulously. He nodded sadly. "No you didn't," I disagreed. He just nodded again. "But you're so fucking hot!" I whisper shouted. I wanted to shove the words right back in my mouth. Over the past few weeks my celebrity crush on Louis had turned into an actual, real affection for someone I actually knew. I blushed slightly as he grinned at me.
"Why thank you, love," he replied, shifting his body so that he was now resting on his knees. His face was much closer to mine than it had been previously, making it hard for me to breathe as his gorgeous ocean blue eyes stared into mine. "You're not too hard on the eyes yourself," he whispered as he placed one hand on my waist and the other behind me to balance himself as he brought his face even closer to mine, his gaze flickering from my eyes to my lips. I could feel his warm minty breath on my lips. Is this really happening? I wondered as he brought his mouth to mine. I had day dreamed about this moment for so long and now it was actually happening. As the sparks flew at his touch, the Taylor Swift song "Sparks Fly" played in my mind, background music to one thought: dreams can come true.
*Haley's P.O.V.*
I sat in my room blasting Set It Off songs into my ears, notepad and pen in my hand. Megan was asleep next to me, Michelle and Sydney were together in the bed across the room, and I was guessing Julia was with Louis. The two had become really close lately. I started scribbling down on the note paper with the blue ballpoint pen that this hotel had provided me with. This had become my routine: I wrote a note to Dani with the notepaper in every hotel we stayed at. Of course, they stayed in my suitcase, but I still felt like I should write them.
Dear Dani,
Hey babe♥ How are you? We're all doing pretty well, or holding up at least. The mood isn't the brightest at the moment, because well everyone is asleep but besides that because you're funeral was today. It was really nice, but I still think you deserved more. Oh well. I guess fireworks aren't very appropriate for that occasion, though I can picture thinking that idea would be pretty fucking awesome, lol. Oh, and Chase came. I guess we cleared the air. Anyways, Harry's doing better, Meggy's helping him through. She misses you, but she understands that you're happy. So do I. So does Julia. Harry wants to understand, but he just can't. He trying to move on like you asked, but it's hard for him, ya know? You're just so god damn sexy. That's why you're my wife♥ Haha well we miss you. Maybe we'll do another Ouija board sometime and we can chitty chat. Well, I love you boo. Stay beautiful :*
All my love,
Haleykinz
I put the pen down and folded the letter neatly, carefully tucking it into my bag. I slid under the cool duvet, snuggling into Megan's small slumbering body. I smiled as "Missing You" by Set It Off came on. How fitting. It was nice background music to fall asleep to. I slowly fell asleep, knowing it would all get better. Things might be shaken up at the moment, but the pieces are falling into place. Sometimes things don't go as planned, and it seems like nothing will ever fix them. And it's true that some things can't be fixed, but that doesn't mean things don't get better. Keep looking up, because every thunderstorm is followed by a rainbow. Yeah, that was some deep shit right there. Well, it's been nice. Bye bye, lovelies!
For now...
A/N***
Haiii! So it's ending :( I know, I know, so sad. Don't worry, there's one more update for this one!
Then I'll be posting the sequel! asdfghjkl!
well I'm not going to rant...I'll do it in the next chapter though :p
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ily tc ♥
z.