Chapter 33
*Haley's P.O.V.*
"Liam!" I cried, not caring if I woke anyone. I slammed the bathroom door shut and bolted down the hall, banging in the door of the room he was sharing with Niall and Zayn. I banged on the door with one fist, clutching the tearstained notepad in the other. He answered the door groggily, his eyes barely open as he ran his hand through his light brown hair. He noticed my tears and automatically woke up. Niall must have heard my sobs because he came up behind Liam and pulled me into his arms.
"What is it?" Liam asked as Niall rocked me back and forth.
"Dani... B-bathroom..." I sputtered, sobbing uncontrollably into Niall's shoulder. Zayn was awake now as well. Liam's brown eyes turned to stone and he calmly exited the room and walked down the hall. I couldn't shake the image, it would forever be etched in my mind. The sight of my best friend's body swinging from the hotel shower curtain rod, held by a belt around her neck? Why? That was the only comprehensible thought I could muster up. Just why? Why would she take her own life? She had so much to live for! Did she know how much we would all miss her? Especially Julez, Meggy, and me. And Harry. Oh god, how would Harry react?
"What's wrong beautiful?" Niall asked, the combination his soothing Irish accent and sexy morning voice not even calming me down. When I didn't answer, Zayn carefully slipped the notepad out of my clenched fist. Tears welled in his beautiful eyes as they scanned the writing, the same writing that was in the wall in the dark hallway of graffiti. I cried even harder as Niall began reading as well, the words they were ingesting memorized as if they were carved into my skull.
Dear Haley,
I'm so sorry I left like this. It's just, I wanted to be with my mom and Derek, I miss them. Besides, I was bound to end up this way anyway. Once they release my dad from prison he'll be after me more than ever before. I just couldn't take it. Please don't be sad, I love you. You'll always be my sister, and I'll see you soon. I know it might hurt, but please, know that I'm where I want to be. I'll never forget the irreplaceable years of friendship we shared. They truly were the highlight of my life. I love you, bebbz ;*
Xoxo, Dani♥
"Oh, god," Zayn breathed. I knew Niall was trying to be strong for me, but I felt him shaking as he held me. Zayn tried his best to comfort both of us.
I guess Louis and I really do have a soul connection, because he walked into the room right then, clad only his boxers. "What's wrong?" he asked, kneeling down in front of us. Zayn handed him the note, and when he was done he lifted me out of Niall's embrace and placed me in his own lap on the other bed. "You comfort Nialler, I've got Haley." Zayn did as Louis instructed, but Niall protested, insisting he was strong enough to comfort me himself. It warmed my heart that he wanted to be the one to take my pain away, but he needed to be calmed down himself first. Since there was no shirt on Louis to grasp, I clenched a few locks of his brown hair in my fists as the sobs wracked through my body.
"Liam, who's on the phone?" Harry's voice came from the hallway. No. He can't see her. "Why are you talking to the cops, Liam?" I jumped out of Louis' arms and he immediately got up and followed me. I ran down the hallway, but it was too late. Not only was Harry crying in the girls' room, but so were the other four living girls.
"You have a note on the bedside table," I mumbled to Harry. He looked at me with tears in his beautiful green eyes, breaking my heart. His pink lips were parted in an unbelieving O shape. He crossed the room and picked up his letter. "You, too," I said to a blubbering Julia and Megan. They went to retrieve their messages, not letting each other go. I watched Harry normally bright green eyes darken like a cloudy forest as they flicked over the note. He crumpled it up and pushed past everyone, crossing the hall to his own room. I sobbed pettily as I trudged back to Louis and Niall. I didn't want to be there when the cops arrived. I didn't even read the other notes. It just felt wrong to violate the privacy and sentimental value of the personal messages. This time I sat in Niall's lap, inhaling the scent of Armani Mania to calm myself. His sobs had subsided and I could tell he was controlling himself as best as he could for me. "I love you," I murmured into his bare chest.
Why was everyone leaving us?
*Harry's P.O.V.*
I cried my eyes out. The love of my life killed herself? I couldn't even bear the thought. What would drive her to so that? I reread the note she left for me for the seventeenth time. Even though the ink was running due to all the tear drops that had soiled it, I could still read it. I had memorized it by now.
Dear Harry,
I love you. You were the love of my life. Please don't be sad, I truly believe you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It's just I missed Derek and my mom, and the thought of being in the same world as my father scares the shit out of me, even if he's in prison. I just thought this was the best way to go. Please don't be sad, I love you and the last thing I want is for you to be sad. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I'll never forget you, and I hope you never forget me. But just because I don't want you to forget me doesn't mean I don't want you to move on. Please do. You can't live the rest of your life in love with a dead girl. I mean come on, you're Harry Styles(;
Anyway, I love you. Bye, baby♥
All my love,
Dani
How could she expect me to be fine with this and move on? I would feel horrible if I loved someone else... I would feel like I was betraying her. But if she wanted me to... But how could I ever love someone as much as I loved her? I never would. I could love again, but never in the same way. I'll never forget you love, I promise. I hoped she received my mental message. I'm not sure if heaven exists, but if it does I hope there's a messenger who delivered that for me.
*Megan's P.O.V.*
We were all crammed in Liam, Zayn, and Niall's room, as the cops invaded the girls' room and Harry wanted to be alone. A few hours had passed, and I had managed to dry my tears. My note told me not to be sad, that she was happy where she was. I accepted that, knowing it had probably ended her misery anyways, it had probably been an improvement. Besides, nothing could hurt her where she was. I was probably the only one on our hotel floor who had reached that mindset yet, but I was going to try to convince everyone that it was the best way to think. Julez and Halez looked like they were decently sane, and they were comforting each other, so I decided to go help out Harry. He was alone, and lord knows he probably needed the most help.
I crossed the clean hotel carpet to Harry's door. I tapped on the door lightly three times, waiting for a reply that didn't come. I swear, if he's dead too... I know I'm a horrible person, and it was not the time for that kind of humor, but at least it lightened my mood. I knew he was alive though, because I heard Mayday Parade floating through the wooden door. "Please don't be sad now, I do believe you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me." I bet my college fund that Dani had written something along those lines in Harry's note. He still didn't answer all through the instrumental, so I barged through the door and shut it behind me as the words started again. "Slow, so slow I fell to the ground on my knees." I paused the music that was blasting from his laptop, refusing to let him listen to the next line. "Don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose" was not the way he needed to be thinking.
"I want to be alone, Haley," his groan came from under the blankets.
"It's not Haley," I informed him softly, sitting on the edge of his bed delicately. I brought up the Youtube homepage as he revealed his face from under the sheets. I smiled at him kindly. His face was all blotchy and his eyes were bloodshot, making the green even more brilliant as it contrasted. He looked a bit confused, but repaid me with a wobbly grin. I typed "stars greyson chance" into the search bar and clicked the first video. I wouldn't say I'm a fan, but Greyson is freaking adorable and pretty talented, plus he had a very important message for Harry. I looked at him expectantly, happy to see the corners of his mouth rise at the chorus.
"She'll be in the sky oh so high with those beautiful stars that shine in the light. She'll be dancing in the clouds and she'll be singing in the rain among those beautiful stars." I paused the video.
"You read the note, Harry," I said gently. "She's happy." His sad green eyes just stared at the lyrics that were still shining from the computer screen. The corners of his mouth were still raised, but it was a subtle, sad grin. I slid my hand under the sheets, searching for his hand and praying I didn't like accidentally grope him. I tried my best to not smile at the thought. I found his hand, and nothing else, and I held it. He didn't move his eyes, but he squeezed my hand back ever so slightly. I reached across his body to wipe the tears off of his pristine colorless cheeks. Finally, his eyes lifted from the screen to meet mine.
"Thank you," he whispered, bringing our clasped hands to his perfect lips. I smiled at the touch. Bad Megan! He's in love with your dead best friend, and she's probably still in love with him. I shook off the tingles that his slight kiss had shot through me.
"Come on," I said, getting off of the bed. "The others would want to know you're doing better. They miss you, and they're probably worried sick." He climbed out of his haven slowly, but surely. I forgot about his little habit, and I guess he did too. I spun around, covering my eyes. "Maybe you should get dressed," I advised, giggling a bit.
"Yeah," he breathed, forcing a half chuckle. "Ready," he told me after a few moments. He was in a tee shirt and pajama pants, but he even looked gorgeous in that. Hey, you! Yeah, this is yourself so I guess you're talking to yourself. Anyway, stop getting all googly eyes for him! He wiped his eyes and sniffled, trying out a smile. I smiled back at him at his attempts and slipped my hand into his, leading him across the hall to the room where everyone was waiting for us. They looked up at us, Louis and Haley attempting smiles through the pain in their eyes.
"Hey, I've got an idea!" Michelle piped up, breaking the silence. We all looked up at her half expectantly and half confused. "Let's play Ouija board! We can talk to her that way." I smiled at Haley and Julia, very much up for the idea.
"Sounds good to me," Haley said, looking for paper bigger than the notepad provided.
"I'm in too," Julia said weakly.
"Same here," I agreed. "Dani loved playing Ouija board, and I'm sure she'd find it absolutely awesome being on the other end." Julez, Halez, Michelle and I gathered around the piece of paper as Michelle drew the symbols, letters, and numbers in her flawless handwriting. The others exchanged unsure glances, probably thinking we were crazy for trying to talk to a dead girl.
"Any other takers?" Michelle asked, surveying the room. No one replied. "Fine," she smirked, "Four is enough. You pussies don't need to play." The four of us snickered amongst ourselves.
"Hey!" Harry exclaimed. "I'm not a pussy! I'm a pussy magnet!" He hopped out of the armchair he had been perched on and joined the four of us on the floor, plopping down next to me. "Besides, I want to talk to her," he sighed sadly. His green eyes met mine and I smiled at him supportively.
"Well if Harry's playing then I guess I'll play, too," Louis smiled, taking a seat in between Harry and Haley.
"I'm not sure about this, guys..." Sydney disapproved nervously, twirling a lock of shining copper hair around her slender finger. Liam had his arm around her, and his facial expression seconded her notion.
"Relax," Michelle said coolly, placing a quarter on the star. "One of my great aunts was a medium. I've researched this stuff. I know all the do's and don'ts and shit, just trust me. You don't have to play, you can watch," she said simply. Niall sat near Haley protectively, but he didn't put his fingers on the coin like Harry, Louis, Haley, Julia, Michelle, and I did.
"It's really not a big deal," Haley whispered reassuringly in Niall's ear.
"Hello, is anyone there?" Michelle asked. The people not playing became very uneasy as the coin made its slow journey to the "Yes". I could tell Harry wanted to take his fingers off, but I placed my finger on his as a reminder that it was for Dani. "Is this Dani?" she asked. Sydney squirmed in Liam's arms as it slid to "Yes" again.
"Prove it," Haley challenged. "What was the first sentence you wrote on the wall in the hallway last night?" she quizzed. She smiled as it slowly spelled out, "Hey, so if you're reading this then you're in a really sketchy dark hallway." "Yep, it's her," Haley concluded. I had no idea what hallway they were talking about, but I went with it. If Haley believed the spirit, then I believed it too.
"Harry, do you have anything to ask her?" I asked softly. His face looked very pale and his green eyes were wide, but he nodded ever so slightly. His rosy lips parted shakily as he asked his question.
"D-do you still love me?" he stuttered quietly. He smiled and sighed as the coin moved to "Yes". Then he asked the question I had been waiting for. "Are you happy?" We all smiled as the coin once again landed on the "Yes". "Well, if you're happy then I'm happy. I love you," he whispered, tears sparkling in his beautiful eyes.
"Do you have anything else to say to Harry?" Haley asked, wrapping up Harry's turn. His face looked shattered as Dani spelled out, "Please move on and be happy."
"I'll try," he mumbled. I knew how hard it would be for him, but I knew how happy he was making Dani by promising her that he'd at least make an effort.
"Can I ask something?" Jesse requested quietly. We all nodded encouragingly, and he took a deep breath. "Does Derek still love me?" he asked, choking back sobs. The coin almost flew to the "Yes". Jesse smiled, relieved. I guess that was all he really needed to know. Awh.
"Well, we all love you," Haley concluded. "Goodbye, rest in peace beautiful." We sat back as the coin slid to "Goodbye". Michelle flipped the coin over and ripped up the makeshift board, tossing the little pieces into the trash.
Louis had moved from Harry to Haley, comforting her as Harry sat alone on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest and staring off into space. I stared into his glassy green eyes from afar for a few moments before scooting closer to him and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He smiled at me for a second, but then he went back to staring at nothing. I sighed mentally and smiled back at him. "It might take some time, but it'll get better," I promised.
"Like Leona Lewis says, 'it'll all get better in time.'" Liam quoted. I rolled my eyes at his little celebrity crush, grinning. Time. That was all we needed.
A/N***
Hellooo(: chapter that you all have been waiting for...This is my favorite part of the book every single time i read this i cry... Ugh WHY DANI???? :'(
But yeah....this book is slowly coming to an end... but the good news are...
THERE IS A SEQUEL
YAAAAAYYYYY!!!! but i won't update the sequel right away! I have the feeling that I have alot of silent readers...I need more votes.so pleaseeeeee vote if you liked this chapter and if you want more means the world to me!!
Love ya all,
take care
z.