I couldn't deal with this anymore. He's the one for me, he has to be. Im always happy when im around him. When I'm with him, he makes me forget that I'm a depressed piece of shit.
I hope this goes well. During transition to 3rd period, I pulled Tyler aside.
"Hey, I have something to say, and you can't say anything until im done. Okay?"
He shrugged his shoulders as an answer.
"Okay. This isn't easy, so i'll say it in the easiest way possible. I'm in love with you."
Tyler's eyes went wide. This isnt going well, I could feel it in the pit of my stomach.
"Y/N, you know im in love with someone else. I love you like a sister, but i don't think I'll be able to love you in that way."
Kill me now. The tears welled up in my eyes. Late bell rang and i burst. I ran down the hall, ignoring the teachers yelling at me.
I'm done, if I cant have the one that makes me feel at my high, why should I have someone that'll make me feel at my low. I would never love anyone more than Tyler, and he just rejected me.
My breath was gone with the wind when I reached my house. Tyler never ran after me. Was I being too clingy for this? Nah. It's just another thing to list of reasons I should kill myself.
With what energy I had left, I ran up the steps. Down the hall. Into the bathroom.
Die die die
No one no one no one
Lonely lonely lonely
Those words kept racing through my mind as i swallowed.
5
14
19
25
The pills were long gone, taking affect on my aching body. Not just physically, but mentally. It was all my fault, if i hadn't have opened my mouth.
Tired tired tired
No one no one no one
Lonely lonely lonely
Die die die
I wrote the letter for everyone to see. And i didn't forget to mention how much I love him. And how much I couldn't have him. I told Jenna how lucky she was. I told my mom im sorry for having birthed me. i told my brother to learn from my mistakes. I told myself I was worthless. and most importantly, I told myself goodbye
DEAD DEAD DEAD
---------------------------------