chapter 2 falling apart
I was on a beach, how did I get on a beach?? I was on my horse midnight how did he get here? how did I get on him??
"hey sweetie" my mom said. " uh hey mom" I said. "lets get going then" and she cantered off I followed her!! we were galloping on the beach wind blowing in our faces and hair the sun beating down on us. then there was a bright light shined in my face and it wasn't the sun, what is that??
I heard voices I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't, why cant I open my eyes?
"so how is she?" a voice asked my brother. It must of been a dream I thought to myself. "not to good she's got a concussion and inhaled some smoke" another voice said. I moved my fingers then opened my eyes I squinted them because of the bright light. I looked around and saw my dad talking to a nurse. my dad had brown hair and brown eyes. I looked around again and saw my brother looking out the window, my brother had auburn hair, and Hazeled eyes, he's 19 and he's in collage. he turned his head towards me and smiled when he saw I was awake and came over to me.
"hey sis thought you'd never wake up" he said and smirked. I rolled my eyes, " hey Josh" I said. "oh your awake" my dad said coming over. I smiled then realized I had no Ideal where I was.
"where am I?" I asked. "In the hospital" Josh said. then it all came back the fire and how mom and I where stuck in the burning barn.
"where's mom?" I asked. my dad clenched his jaw then said " she didn't make it out of the fire". I looked at him confused?? "sis she's didn't make it she's.....she's dead" Josh said. "What no she cant be dead" I screamed. "come down Josie" Josh said. no this cant be happening I thought. if only I had listened to her and not have gone in the burning barn she would still be alive its all my fault I thought. tears spilled down my face I started sobbing.
"how.....did....she....die?" I choked out between sobs. "the wood landed right on her lunges so she couldn't breath" dad said. this is all my fault all my fault I thought.
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we were headed home from the hospital I was looking out the window of the car. the view is amazing its so pretty. I signed nothing is ever going to be the same again without mom I thought.
"how's your head feeling" dad asked. "okay I guess" I said. " well does it hurt?" he asked. "yeah a little" I said. "well doc said to take it easy for a few weeks okay" he said. I nodded. "that means no riding understood" he said. I flinched when he said understood that's was the exact word mom said when she told me not to go into the burning barn. I looked at my dad and signed. "well" he asked. "understood I wont ride for a couple weeks" I said. "good" he said. "uh dad do you know if anyone ever got the horses out of the barn?" I asked. he signed then said "they got all horses out except for two horses" he said. "so two horses died" I said on the verge of tears! "yes" he said tears spilled down my face. "which one's?" I asked. "um I think it was Shadow and Chester" he said. I nodded as more tears poured down my face, first mom know the horses this all my fault I thought. we neared the farm shadow brook farm, I had stopped crying but the pain was still there and always will be nothing will ever be the same ever again I thought. we pulled up to the barn dad parked the car and we got out and walked up the steps to the house we entered the house and I was struck with sadness when I saw all the pictures of mom and the horses that died.
" How bad is the damage?" I asked my dad. "huh?" he said. "how bad is the damage of the barn?" I asked. "oh...um... its" he stuttered. "spit it out dad" I said. "the whole barn has collapsed the firemen didn't make it here in time" he said. I nodded and walked to the door and opened it. " where are you going?" he asked. "to look at the at the barn and check on the horses oh and where are the horses?" I said. "okay, front and back pasture" he said. "thanks" I said. I walked out to the barn and gasp at what I saw the barn layed there in a heap of burnt wood, ashes and dust. tears spilled down my face, the barn I once knew was no more a lot of my childhood memories were spent in that barn, I remember this one time when I was eight.
FLASHBACK!!
"your never going to catch me" I yelled as I ran into the barn I giggled I was playing tag with my best friend Sabrina. "I will catch you" she said then giggled. I ran in the barn and bolted into a stall Chester nuzzled me, "shh" I told him. I peeked over the edge just as Sabrina entered the barn, she saw me I squealed and bolted out of the stall and onto the isle only to get tackled down by Sabrina, "tag" she shouted. "victory victory victory"!!!! she chanted. "oh hush already, I get it you won" I whined. then I got up and chased her around though the barn! my mom came in.
"GIRLS" she yelled. I stopped and walked her over to her, she looked kind of mad.
"yeah mom what's up? I asked. Sabrina came up to us and smiled. "how many times have I told you not to run in the barn?" she asked. " I don't know many" I said nervously. "very many, know why were you running in the barn both of you?" she asked. "I....I...uh... I don't know I'm sorry it wont happen again" I stuttered nervously. "okay Hun know go play" she said. I nodded. " hey mom can we go for a ride?" I asked. "sure go get your ponies" she said.
END OF FLASHBACK.
as I stand here thinking about that and many more memories this was were I came when I was sad, stressed, mad, happy it was everything to me well except for my mom and the horses the barn came second to them. tears poured out onto my face the barn is gone, mom is gone, and Shadow and Chester are gone what else everything seems to be falling apart everything that I care for or love are gone what's next my friends, the other horses and the rest of my family it seems like the world hates me right know and it wants me to be miserable and for me to fall apart. I went to my knees and cried my eyes out, I sobbed when I could shed no more tears I got up and wiped my eyes then walked to the front pasture they all seemed fine so I went to the back pasture were I was greeted by a nicker 'midnight' I thought he came trotting to me.
"Hey boy" I whispered to him. he nuzzled me. " so a lots going on and honestly I feel like crap probably look like it too" I said. he lifted his head and perked up as if saying " you do not" I half smiled. "okay boy I get it" I said. he seemed pleased so he nuzzled into me again. we stayed like that for about an hour me talking and spilling my guts out to him that was one of the many reasons I love horses you can tell them anything and they wont tell a soul. "okay boy I'm going know okay" I said. then gave him a goodbye kiss. I headed back up to the house feeling slightly better but not by much. I walked up the stairs and into the house dad was making lunch or dinner I looked at the time it read 1:45.
"hey dad" I said. he looked up and frowned at me odd he used to smile every time he saw me maybe its because I look like crap or he also blames me for moms death no it cant be that right? I thought.
"hey" he said plainly "want some lunch?" he asked. " sure what's it going to be?" I asked. " how about grilled cheese?" he asked. "sounds good I'm going to go clean my self up a bit" I said. he nodded I went upstairs and into the bathroom I looked at my appearance in the mirror bloodshot eyes from crying so much, my hair is a mess, my face is pale.
"huh" I whispered I threw my hair In a messy bun splashed water on my face and walked back down stairs and sat in a chair. "here you go" dad said handing me a plate with a grilled cheese on it I smiled at him and he once again frowned at me odd very odd I shrugged it off and took a bite of the food it was awesome dads food is always really good after I finished I went up stairs and into my room I plugged my iPod into my ihome and put on hot n cold by Katy Perry, I listened I went and layed on my bed, usually I would jump up and down and sing like a idiot but all I could think about is mom, the two horses that died, the barn and how dad is acting so strange like he's blaming me for something or holding a grudge on me I don't know its confusing to me.
"Josephine come down here we need to talk" dad yelled. "okay I'm coming" I yelled back. I got up off of my bed and shut my Ihome off then headed downstairs.