When I ran into Chase's arm I kind of felt sad, I wish I was running into Alex's instead but I shook that thought of my head and looked up at him smiling. Chase kissed me and I was disappointed. They were nothing like Alex's lips. His were soft and they made me feel like I was flying, like the whole world had stopped just to smile on us. Chase's kiss was also nothing like Alex's, Alex's kiss was soft and sweet while Chase's was strong and forceful almost. Oh how I wished I was kissing Alex instead of Chase I thought for a moment. Suddenly I realized that was wrong I tried to push the thought out of my head and then pulled away after a couple more seconds of kissing him. It just wasn't the same, I wanted Alex's lips more then my boyfriend's and I felt horrible. He smiled down at me and I felt like melting away into the sand and just disappearing forever and ever.
Here I was cheating on my amazing boyfriend. I felt dirty, I made myself sick. Guilt bubbled up in my stomach and I deserved to be alone forever I thought to myself. I felt even worse when I saw Alex stomping off towards the bus. Not only had I cheated on Chase but now I had hurt Alex because I couldn't decide what to do. God, was I a bitch. I decided that I needed to choose one and that one would Chase. Alex had had his chance and he blew it! It was someone else's turn now and I decided to focus fully on him and only him. I grabbed Chase's hands and then I pulled him towards where my stuff was. He took off his shirt and threw it on my bag and I followed his lead, taking off my shirt and shorts.
"So Leah, are you gonna introduce me to your friends?" he asked. It was weird, he never really held any interest in knowing my friends. I nodded and dragged him over by where all the guys were still playing football, searching for Jack, deciding he should meet my first best friend before anyone else. I looked for him and spotted him a second later on the far end of the beach, "Jack! Come over here please!" I said loudly, gesturing for him to come. Jack ran over to me, a giant smile on his face and stopped right before he ran me over. "Jack this is Chase, my boyfriend, Chase this is Jack, my best friend from when I lived in Maryland." I said. Jack smiled and stuck out his hand to shake Chase's and Chase just nodded at him. Jack stood there for a second and then gave me a look before walking off.
I sighed and shook my head before introducing him to everyone else, his reaction the same to everyone. Finally I was getting really fed up! I was trying to include him in my life and let him meet my friends but here he was acting like he didn't care. I groaned and grabbed his arm, dragging him off to the side where no one else was. "What is your problem?" I asked him. "Nothing, I don't have a problem." he said coolly. I glared at him and crossed my arms over my chest. "Really Chase? Nothing? Cause you aren't even trying to be polite. You said you wanted to meet my friends and I'm letting you meet them! I'm always nice to your friends, why can't you do the same for me?" I said annoyed. He rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry, I just don't like it that my girlfriend is hanging out with a bunch of guys! And I said I wanted to meet them, not become their best fucking friends." he said, angrily.
"Chase, I'm not asking you to become best friends with them! All I ask is that you're at least civil to them and try to get along with them, who knows? You might actually like them, give them a chance! And they're my friends, nothing else, don't you trust me? " I asked and then I felt like a jerk. He was right, I shouldn't be hanging out with all these guys. He shouldn't trust me, I was a cheating bitch and I didn't deserve him or anyone else for that matter. "I do trust you Leah," he said and my stomach dropped. God I was such a cheating bitch! "It's just, I don't trust them." he said, grabbing my hand. I gave him a small smile, "You can trust them, they're nice guys, I promise you'll like them, just give them a chance please?" I asked. Here they were getting blamed for something they would never do and I was stuck feeling like a douche because my boyfriend trusted me and I didn't deserve it. He sighed and then nodded, "For you baby." he said, kissing my cheek and then walking towards Jack.
My heart felt like it was split in half as I watched him walk off. I wanted Alex so bad but I knew I would only end up hurt. But my heart also wanted Chase, yeah he was a jerk sometimes but he was genuinely a good guy. I decided to go through with my plan from earlier, to ignore Alex. Obviously nothing good was coming from us talking and I wasn't trying to fuck up AGAIN, especially since Chase was trying to be nice for me. He said he was going to try and be nice to them for me so I promised myself I would try and stay away from Alex for him.
An hour later I was ready to kill myself, all the guys were glaring at me or Chase. Chase was acting like a complete snob and all of the guys were starting to get annoyed with him. He had pulled the rich bitch card, bragging about how much he had, how he didn't have to work if he didn't want to, talking about his car and what not. I could tell by the look on Zack's face he was considering punching him in the face. I hated when he acted like this, it was such a turn off but I didn't want him to get wailed on by Zack.
I jumped up quickly and grabbed Chase's arm, "Baby, come swimming with me!" I said, not giving him a chance to answer and dragging him towards the water and away from the guys. I hoped if I gave them some time to calm down that they would be able to put up with him when we came back and I could stay a bit longer before they had to leave. As we were walking down the beach he wrapped his arm around my waist and settled his hand on my hip as we walked towards the water. When we were almost to the shore his hand slipped down to my ass and I grabbed it and moved it back to my waist. Chase left his hand where I put it only for a second before moving it down again. I turned and looked at him before grabbing his hand. "Chase, cut it out, we're in public." I said. He bent down and kissed me hard, forcing his lips to mine and then reaching up to grab my boob. I pushed him away quickly, "Chase, what is your problem?" I asked, wiping my mouth.
"Nothing, what is yours? Don't want your boyfriends to see you kissing me? You've never had a problem with me kissing you until now. Afraid they'll see you? You're a slut, you know that?" he sneered. My mouth opened in shock at what he just said. "You can open your mouth pretty wide, been practicing lately?" he asked and I shut my mouth quickly. Tears came to my eyes, I felt like I had just been smacked across the face, "Chase, what is your problem? It's not like that with the guys!" I said, trying to hold back my tears. "Mhm, of course it isn't!" he shouted and went to turn around to walk away but Jack was behind him, a furious look on his face.
"Oh hey! Look its-" but he didn't get to finish because Jack punched him in the mouth. "Jack! No!" I shouted, trying to get in the middle of them but Chase pushed me out of the way and swung, getting Jack right in the side of the face. Jack went down like a ton of bricks and I didn't have time to say anything before I saw Zack running towards us, everyone else not far behind. "Guys, no!" I shouted, trying stop the fight but Chase pushed me out of the way hard and I fell to the ground. I scrambled to get up but before I could Zack socked Chase right in face. The sickly sound of bone and bone connecting caused me to flinch and I watched as Chase went down but only for a moment before he tried to get back up and I saw Zack getting ready to punch him again. More tears came to my eyes and I jumped between them. "STOP!" I shouted, grabbing Zack's arm.
Zack went to push me out of the way but I placed myself directly in front of Chase who was still on the ground. Zack looked down at me like I was crazy and I turned around quickly, going over to Chase, "Baby, are you okay?" I asked, instantly feeling guilty. This was all my fault, I needed to get Chase home and I needed to get away from the guys. I was causing way too much drama for them. "I'm fine." Chase said angrily, spitting blood. I helped him up slowly and stood in front of him, scared Zack might hit him again. "We're going to go." I said, pulling Chase along with me.
I grabbed my stuff and handed Chase my shirt so he could hold it his cut and bleeding lip. I was helping him to the car when someone called my name and I looked to see Rian running towards me. Chase gave me a look, "I'm sorry baby, just let me handle this okay? I'll meet you in the car." I told him. He hesitated for a moment before walking off. Rian ran up to me and took a couple deep breaths. "Why are you leaving with that asshole? Jack told me what he said." he said, clearly mad. The look on his face was one of confusion and anger and I tugged nervously at my hair. "He was right Rian, I am a slut, I slept with Alex and then kissed him again earlier. It's best if we just leave. I'm sorry, bye." I said before turning to walk away.
Rian grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let go until I looked him in the eyes, "He's not right Leah. You're not a slut. You deserve so much better than him." he said. I pulled away, "No, he deserves better than me. I cheated on him after all that he's done for me, I need to make it up to him. Tell everyone I'm really sorry and bye." I said before walking off to the car. Chase was in the passenger seat waiting and I got into the driver's seat, taking the keys he handed me. "I'm sorry for this baby, when we get home I'll take care of you." I said before leaning over and going to kiss his cheek but he moved away. "Don't Leah. This is all your fault." he said before looking out the window. I sighed, he was right. If I just never agreed to go to the concert last night then Hannah wouldn't have been mad at me, I wouldn't have cheated on Chase and neither Chase nor Jack would be hurt right now. It seemed like my decision was a giant train reaction for instant fucked up life. I fought back tears and tried to figure out how to make it up to him while I started the car.
*Alex's POV*
I was still pouting by myself on the bus when Zack stomped onto the bus followed by Matt and Vinny supporting Jack behind them. I jumped up instantly and ran over to Jack, "What the fuck happened?" I asked looking at Jack's quickly bruising face. "Leah's fucking boyfriend!" Zack said, grabbing the ice pack from my hand and placing it over his knuckles. He looked beyond furious, I had never seen him that angry before. I was instantly curious about what this dickhead had done to make Zack, the usually calm and gentle guy, so mad.
"What happened?" I asked again, looking from Zack to Jack. "Well, he called her a slut and I heard him so I got really mad and I punched him, then he hit me back and Zack got involved. Would've of knocked him out if Leah didn't jump in front of that douche." Jack said, sitting down and taking the ice pack from Zack. He placed it on his face, "Why didn't she just let Zack kill him?" I asked, annoyed. I didn't like the new Leah at all, the girl I knew wouldn't have taken this crap from anyone.
The old Leah would have killed anyone who put their hands on her friends and wouldn't let anyone talk to her that way. It worried me, had she changed that much or was she just changing herself for this guy? "I don't know, she was gone before I could ask her. I told Rian and he chased after her, maybe he can get to the bottom of it." Jack said as Rian walked up the stairs, a worried look on his face. "Did you catch up with her?" Zack asked, leaning against the counter, looking down at his knuckles, they were red and looked cut. Rian nodded, "She said she's really sorry and bye." he said before going to sit next Jack.
"She said something else, what was it?" Zack asked. We could all tell by the look on his face he was upset about something she said and we all knew he wouldn't that upset over just sorry and bye. Rian was so easy to read sometimes. "I tried to stop her from going with him by telling her she deserves better and she said he deserves better and he was right about her being a slut." he said, his voice angry. My eyes bulged and it took me a second to process what he said. Once I realized I had heard him right my stomach was boiling with anger.
"SHE'S NOT A SLUT. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?" I shouted, ready to run off the bus, go to her house, shake her and ask her what the hell was wrong with her. She is the most amazing girl I knew and she deserved the best. I rather her be single than be with him. I didn't care if I couldn't have her but he shouldn't have her! She deserved so much better. "Whoa, Alex, calm down, we know she's not!" Matt said trying to put a hand on my arm to calm me down but I yanked it away. I didn't want anyone to touch me right now.
I was so furious and I just couldn't deal with anyone else around me right now. I stomped off towards the back and pulled out my cell phone, looking at it. I really wanted to text her but I didn't have her number. I thought for a second and then remembered her friend Hannah had given me her number. *Hey, it's Alex Gaskarth.* I texted, laying back, trying to calm myself down. I breathed in deeply and waited for her to reply. She texted back almost instantly. *Heyyy!* I rolled my eyes, I really didn't like this girl as much as she liked me.
*Hey, can I have Leah's number?* I asked, hoping that she would give it to me. She texted back a couple minutes later and I smiled down when I saw a number. *Thank you Thank you!* I texted her before saving the number in my phone and thinking about what to say to her. Hey, it's Alex? No, she might not answer to that, Hey, what happened? No, that wasn't right. Grrr, I just didn't know what to text!
*Leah's POV*
When we got to the house Chase got out of the car and walked up the stairs, not even waiting for me. The whole car ride he hadn't said a word to me, he didn't even look at me and I knew I had royally fucked up. I sighed and grabbed my stuff before following him slowly. I was almost up the stairs when my phone went off and I looked down to see a number I didn't know. I opened the text message, *Hey, it's Garrett, what the hell happened today? Are you okay?* I read. I thought for a moment, should I reply to him? What if Chase saw? I decided to text him back and I would just keep my phone away from him. What he didn't know didn't cause problems.
I texted him the whole story while I stood on the porch. I was worried Chase would ask who I was texting if I came in so I didn't walk into the house until I was finished. Chase was sitting on the couch, feet on the coffee table and watching TV when I walked in. I walked over to him and looked down at him, "Baby, do you want me to do anything for you? Make you lunch, get you an ice pack?" I asked. He nodded, "An ice pack and make me lunch too." he said, not looking up from the TV. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed him an icepack out of the fridge before walking back into the living room and giving it to him.
I was texting Garrett as I made Chase lunch when another unknown number texted me. I frowned and tried to figure out who it was but it just said *hey*. I texted back the number, *Who is this?* before bringing out Chase his lunch. I handed it to him and he didn't even thank me or look up from the TV. I felt so under appreciated but I guess that's what life was like sometimes. I went and sat down on the loveseat diagonal to him. I looked down at my phone as it vibrated again. *It's Alex, please talk to me Leah.* I read. I bit down on my lip nervously. Should I talk to him?
I thought about it for a while until Chase's constant calling of my name brought me out of my thoughts. "LEAH! LEAH! ANSWER ME!" Chase shouted. "Oh, I'm sorry, what do you need?" I asked him. "I'm done." he said holding out his plate for me, I sighed and took it from him before walking back into the kitchen. Sometimes I wondered if I was nothing but a maid and someone to have sex with to him. I leaned against the counter and thought quietly after I placed the plate in the sink.
I compared Alex and Chase in my head. Alex was handsome, sweet and I loved him but Chase was handsome too, he had his sweet moments and I loved him too. But there were three important differences between the two. While I could always be myself around Alex and he didn't treat me like crap he was always going around on tour, I would never see him. It didn't matter to me that Chase treated me like crap or didn't accept the real me, he was there and he wasn't leaving unlike Alex and that's what I needed more than anything. A constant in my life and that's what Chase was.
I was dazing off into space thinking when my phone vibrated again. I looked down at my cell phone, *Leah, please answer me?* I read. I sighed and texted him back, *What do you want?* I asked him. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? It would be so much easier on me! It hurt knowing he still wanted me after all those years. I wanted him too but I was just so afraid of him deciding keeping up a long distance relationship would be too much and he would dump me. I couldn't be alone, being alone was one of my biggest fears.
*Alex's POV*
When she didn't answer me for a good 20 minutes I got nervous. What if she hated me? What if she never wanted to talk to me again? My chest burned with the thoughts and I shook my head, trying to clear it before I texted her again. Why couldn't she just talk to me? Give me a chance to show her that I had grown up and wasn't the same idiot I used to be. A couple minutes after I texted her, my phone vibrated and I looked down to see she had texted me back. I went to smile but frowned when I saw her text.
*I just wanted to make sure you were okay and apologize for earlier.* I said, hoping that she would accept my apology and start talking to me again. I just got her back into my life and I didn't want her out of it as suddenly as she came in! I waited, worrying about what her answer would be when my phone vibrated. To my surprise she did accept it and we talked a while about random stuff, the past, and the past couple of years.
I really wanted to ask her why she stayed with Chase even though he said nasty things to her but I didn't want to make her mad and have her stop talking to me. She asked me how Jack was and how my eye was and I told her they were both fine. She texted back a couple of jumbled letters and I remembered that what she used to do when she didn't know what to say. I thought, I really wanted to ask her a question.
*Leah, would you ever go back out with me?* I wrote out, looking at it for a good 10 minutes. I didn't know if I should send it or not. I really wanted to know the answer but I was afraid, what if she said no? I would be heartbroken and would feel like a giant idiot for thinking I had a chance with her. Finally I decided to send it, knowing it would eat me up if I didn't get the answer to this question. After I hit the send button I sat there nervously waiting for an answer.
After she didn't answer for 10 minutes I started jiggling my leg nervously, not sure what to do if she didn't answer. I was started to panic, thinking that I was an idiot for sending that when my phone vibrated. I fumbled with it, almost dropping it before opening the text message. *I don't know Alex, it depends.*
I didn't leap for joy but I wasn't upset either. It wasn't a flat out no but it wasn't a yes either. *On what?* I asked, hoping it was something I could change. A couple minutes later she answered me, *On whether or not I was single, if we got to know each other again, four years is a long time and we have both changed a lot and as long as you promised not to do the same thing you did before.* I read. Well the last two were easy, I mean we could get to know each other and I wanted never just knock her out of my life again. I had finally realized how much I loved her and remembered how she made me feel. Even now I felt incomplete without her.
The first was the difficult one. She was with Chase and it didn't seem like they were breaking up anytime soon. I fought the urge to somehow figure out how to ruin her relationship. That would only make her hate me and I would lose all my chances. I decided the best thing to do was talk to her everyday, showed her I cared and I still loved her and maybe, hopefully she would realize I was better then that asshole. Maybe if I reminded her about much she loved and cared for me I could get her to leave him, get her to realize that she belonged with me and not him.