I left Cade as soon as possible at the coffee shop. I couldn't look at him without feeling guilty for what almost happened to him.
Because I had thought the note was a joke, Cade was almost killed.
Of course, the two incidents could just be huge coincidences, but what were the chances? Besides, the mask I'd seen through the window of the car, when time seemed to pause, was the same one described to me by Jeanine that her killer wore.
And it made sense that the killer wouldn't want me anywhere near Cade. I was the one who helped influence him to go see his father, and the one who kept him sane during that meeting. I was the one who helped him know about body number one. I was the one was helping him look for the killer. I was the one who made Cade feel like he wasn't alone anymore.
I could envision the killer seeing through the same eyes as Willy Woods. They probably guessed about Cade's powers according to the ramblings Jeanine described. They knew that Willy had taught Cade things no kid should know. Anyone who paid close attention to Cade would know that Willy showed him scarring things. Things that could turn any normal little boy into a crazed killer when they grew up. And if the killer really was copying Willy Woods, they would want the same things for Cade as Willy did. For Cade to become the most infamous serial killer in the world.
Cade had the ability, there was no doubt about that. With Willy's conditioning and teaching of his son, there was no way Cade wouldn't have the ability. Not to mention the horrible visions he was forced to see every time he touched another human being. Seeing death that often, and seeing the deaths of your father's victims before you actually witnessed them, it messed you up. It had to. Going without apparent human contact for so long in fear of this can make someone hate other people. View them as less than human, like Willy did.
At this point, the only things I saw holding Cade back where his best friend, his hard stubbornness in becoming a better person than his good-for-nothing father, and me.
Of course, his best friend could very well be the killer, so it was safe to rule Joey out of the equation. For all I knew he was actually manipulating Cade into becoming the man Willy would've wanted him to be. And the second reason would've fell apart when he visited his father if I hadn't been there. I could see though Cade was trying to resist, he probably would've broken under his father's evil eyes had he not had a reason to believe he wasn't a monster like Willy. Being able to touch me without seeing my death gave Cade the out he desperately needed in his life. It told him that he wasn't totally cursed. He wasn't just being blamed for his father's sins. He could have a life without death following him everywhere.
And if I walked away from Cade, the killer might just get what he wanted. Willy would get what he wanted.
Cade could finally break.
I was the first person Cade could build an actual connection with in years. Someone he could be in contact with without being reminded of a tortured childhood. I was someone he could love.
And by taking that away from him, Cade would be alone again. Of course, he'd still have his best friend, but if Joey was the killer that was no consolation.
I once read an article by someone who was blind. They talked about how people who could see would always ask if the blind person wished that they could see the colors too. They were always asked if they were sad that they couldn't see colors. But their answer was simple. They couldn't miss something they never had. They didn't know what it was like to see the world in all of its brilliance, so they didn't know what they were missing out on. In contrast, the article also featured a section dedicated to someone who had lost their sight in a car accident. Their answer was different for many obvious reasons. They remembered what it was like to see. They remembered the brightness of the sun and the sparkle of the water at night. And they missed it desperately. Of course, it was noted that some people who lose their vision learn to live with their new stage of existence, but there is always that hole there, however small. They knew what it was like to see, and they had it forcefully taken away from them.
Cade now knew how it felt to hold another human's hand without flinching in fear. He now knew how it felt to be really loved by another person. He now knew what it felt like to be close to someone without seeing how they die.
And to protect his life, I would have to bow to the killer and take it all away from him again.
I would have to make him hate me so much that he would never want to look at me again. It was the only way to get him to stay away. Cade wasn't going to let me go so easily right after I had fought so hard for him to see that I cared. He couldn't let it go so easily.
It was going to pain me so much to do it to him, but I would have to. I would have to let him go if I had any chance of keeping him alive and catching this killer.
But I was obviously wasting time. I didn't want to do it, so I was spending the rest of the day held up in my room. I told myself that I would do it at the next opportunity, but locking myself in my room left no room for an opportunity to show up. Therefore, I could never do the deed if I didn't have the chance to.
That is, until there was a knock at my window.
I froze up. I knew who was at my window. I knew because that was the only way he knew to enter my house.
I glanced at the window with a pained expression. I had left the window open unconsciously this morning.
"Hey, Raven."
I smiled back. It felt forced, stretching muscles in my face that didn't want to work. "Hey."
He took a seat across from me on my desk chair, smiling. I couldn't look at his happy expression without feeling guilt.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
He furrowed his brows. "Can I not just pop over without a reason?" I kept my stare and he broke. "Okay, fine. I'm here because I needed a break from those reporters that are still camped outside of my house. There hasn't been a new body, so I'm the only interesting thing in this case that they can look at as of now. It's kind of making me wish that the killer would go ahead and do something so that I can be left alone."
"The news is still over there?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I don't know why they don't just pack up and stake out some other big case. I mean, it's been almost a week since the announcement that there was a serial killer in Elk Springs and since there was even a victim."
"Well, nothing interesting happens here, so it makes sense that this is still huge news." I argued. "I mean, the biggest thing to happen in this area since your father was the legalization of weed."
Cade chuckled and I looked down. I didn't want to see this happiness fade away.
"Yeah, well let's hope this guy is caught soon so I can stop living with those reporters on my lawn."
I nodded. "Do you have any more theories?"
"Maybe?" Cade shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "This is all so confusing. I mean, why is the killer choosing the sons and daughters of the people who put my dad in jail? Why choose the kids? Does that mean the killer himself is our age?"
I shrugged. "Possibly. Maybe it's even someone you've known for years. Someone who's not just obsessed with Willy, but you as well."
"How do you mean?" Cade asked, confused.
I looked down. "You know, if they're killing the children of those who put your dad in jail, it makes sense that it's connected to how you're the son of that famous serial killer. We're our parents' legacy on this world, and maybe that's what the killer is trying to say. Maybe it's all connected to you, not your dad."
Cade tilted his head. "Wait, so you're saying he killer is probably a teenager that I grew up with? Someone who's killing all of these kids as a sort of homage to me?"
It made sense. It's wasn't about copying the King of Terror. It was all about Cade.
"Think about it. Maybe this person has been obsessed with you for a while now. They probably think you want your dad back and to get him back the killer is killing the kids of those who put him there. They have some twisted logic that this is the best way to help you."
"So that leaves a lot of people in town still. There are enough teenagers that the suspect pool is still quit large."
I flinched. "Well, I have one suspect."
Cade suspiciously searched my expression.
"He's someone who's been pretty close to you for a while. He was close to you before your dad was found out, and he stayed by your side even after the incident."
Cade's eyes turned cold as steel. "You think Joey is the killer?"
I folded my arms to my chest. "It's not crazy."
"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Cade exclaimed, getting up from the chair and pacing the room.
I got up from my bed and crossed my arms tighter, as if trying to shield myself from my future actions. "Think about it. You were the first person to be nice to Joey when he was in school. You were his only friend back then. Why wouldn't he want to repay you?"
Cade hardened his gaze. "And why would he think that getting my father out of prison, or even just hurting those involved, would be something I want? He knows how Willy hurt me. He knows how much I hate that man."
"But he also knows what you could become. He knows about how your father taught you. He knows about your inner most deep thoughts, Cade. He knows about your ability too."
"So what? Just because he knows about all that shit? Huh?" He was angry. I had pushed a button by suspecting Joey. Maybe I was bringing up a thought he had before, something he didn't want to believe. "Anyone who looks at me can tell I had a fucking messed up childhood! Anyone who looks at me can see the monster that Willy saw." Cade ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Why would knowing about what I see when I touch people even make him a suspect?"
"You told him about Amanda," I spoke, my voice soft. "You told him at the bonfire to watch out for her, that she was wearing the clothes she would die in. He told you that he lost sight of her in the crowd, but Amanda told me that one of the last things she remembers from her blurry memory is Joey talking to her. Jeanine said the killer was rambling about a device that Willy had that could tell how and when someone dies. You. Face it, Cade. He's most likely the killer. He lied to you."
If looks could kill, I would be a smoking spot on the carpet.
"My best friend is not a killer, Raven."
"He is, Cade. And he believes you could be like your father. He knows that all it would take to bump you to the other side is one misstep. For all you know, he could be leading you into becoming exactly what you don't want to become."
Cade narrowed his gaze, "Is that how you really think of me?" He stepped closer with every beat. "Do you really think all it would take to turn me down that path is a switch? Do you believe I'm that close to becoming him?"
With him barely a foot away from me with that ironclad glare from his dark eyes, I did believe it. He looked every bit as menacing as the man I'd seen behind the double-sided glass. The only difference was his eyes. The dark brown gaze I'd once found soft and endearing had turned into a glare as dark and as empty as a black hole.
"Yes," I squeezed out of my uncooperative mouth. Because I knew what it would do to him. Because I knew what it would make him do.
His eyes never faltered.
"Then you should be afraid. Very afraid. Because I am just like him, my father. And I am not scared to kill you right here and now. I haven't seen your death, and maybe that isn't because of your stupid little gift. Maybe it's because you're the one who breaks my will and makes me see who I really am. Maybe it's because you're my first. How does that sound? You already say I'm a killer, so what makes me stop from killing you right now?"
"Because you love me."
He scoffed and then chuckled darkly, eyes gleaming. "If you ever believed someone like me could love you, then you were desperately wrong. I'm a monster. Monsters don't love, they tear you apart until there's nothing left to remember you by. You were never anything to me besides a little pet project. The new girl who didn't grow up around the stories of my father in this town. But now that you've opened up your heart, you know exactly what kind of person I am. You've seen the devil inside."
He stepped away from me and his expression turned to disgust. "It's no wonder your mother went missing when you were little. She probably couldn't stand your antics about seeing imaginary people anymore. I know I can barely stand you at this point."
And with that, Cade left back out through the window. As soon as his figure was gone, I collapsed on the floor. I hadn't realized it, but I had been crying for who knows how long.
I knew I had to force his hand to get him to stay away from me, but it was much more painful than I had thought it would be. In the environment he grew up in, the only way he knew how to deal with strong emotions was to push back. To react harshly. I knew this, and I used it against him.
I wiped my eyes and took in a breath. I tried to convince myself what I had done was saving Cade from possible death by the serial killer who could be his best friend, but it certainly didn't feel like I was saving him. It felt like I was breaking him beyond repair.
It felt like I was tearing my own heart in two.
But it had to be done if I wanted to catch this killer before he hurt anyone else, especially Cade. And if this was any indication, I was now hell-bent on catching the sonofabitch.
So, who hates me now??
Also, the dreaded American election just happened this last week and I . . .
Look, I get that there are people who absolutely hated Hillary for lying about emails and things that happened in the middle east, but she was cleared a total of fifteen plus times for these things, all by separate committees. I didn't like her either, but the alternative, our President Elect, is much worse.
You see, I couldn't care less about his policies at the moment. (Besides, he won't be the on making the decisions anyways) What worries me is the kind of behavior he is causing in people, he may not support it, but all the same he is invoking racist and misogynistic behavior from his supporters. His campaign spread hate in America. Now that he's won, he is going back on all of his campaign promises, but the ideas he put in the heads of many Americans are still there. His VP, Pence, believes in conversion therapy (torturing gay people until they become straight), is against transgender rights, and believes everyone who is not Christian is wrong in the matter. The members he is appointing to his cabinet are terrifying for anyone who isn't a straight white Christian male. One is the former editor of a white supremist newspaper. I mean, the freaking official paper of the KKK endorsed Trump! What message does that send to our children?
I ended last chapter with this, but let me continue. If you can't respect anyone when they aren't around, especially when they are around, then you are a waste of a human being. If you say things just because you're trying to make jokes with a "friend" to please him, then how are we supposed to trust you to make deals with other nations without giving in to them?
This is not how the new generation voted. They voted mostly blue.
Anyways I hope y'all liked this. I'm sorry about the rant, but I have a lot of emotions.