*Josiah*
"I smoke a blunt to take the pain out
And if I wasn't high, I'd probably try to blow my brains out"
*Pow Pow*
I got shot. I always felt like I'd be shot. Somebody was trying to do me some harm, because a lot of people don't like me.
My name is Josiah Crooks. I'm 26 years old and I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself. In my life, I was different things to different people. My mother Katherine was pregnant with me while she was in prison. She was charged of conspiring to murder a cop. She was facing 300 and something-odd years. One black pregnant women beat the case. That just goes to show you the strength of a black woman and the strength of the oppressed.
A month after she got out of prison, she gave birth to me. So I was cultivated in prison. My embryo was in prison.
When I was a little baby, I remember that one moment of calm peace, and three minutes after that it was on.
My mother is totally brilliant and totally understanding and caring but when I was growing up I never knew who my father was for sure.
My mom was lost at a particular moment. She was addicted to crack. It was hard because she was my hero. So I moved out and I was on my own, I was broke with nowhere to stay. I smoked weed and hung out with the drug dealers, the pimps and the criminals. They were the only people that cared about me. I needed a father. I needed that male influence. And these were the males.
I was broke I didn't have enough credits to graduate, so I dropped out. I started selling drugs for maybe two weeks. I decided I didn't want to do that anymore so I began to follow my dream and that was to become a rapper.
Oh and how I met Heaven? My mother lost her job we were like stranded so we moved out of Harlem & went to Brooklyn. That's when I met Heaven when I was ten years old, in 1984.
*Flash back 1991*
We was dancing and singing along to Will Smith "Parents Just Don't Understand" song just having a good time.
Me: Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot
I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block
That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking
I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking
You should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions
I honked my horn just to get her attention
She said
Heaven: Was that for me?
Me: I said "Yeah." She said,
Heaven: Why?
Me: I said, "Come on and take a ride with a helluva guy"
*Flash back ends"
Heaven is my heart. We'll be old together . She can have my arm, my liver, my lungs, my blood, my kidneys...everything. I really do miss her. I just wish I was there to save her.