Chapter Thirty-One
Delaney turned the page of her book – not Harry Potter, surprisingly, but one of Steve's favourite novels. She frowned, completely lost as she read the next paragraph. Had she really taken nothing in from when she read the last page?
Delaney shuffled back and reread the said page, paying even more attention this time. She bit her lip. An entire page had passed her attention.
It wasn't the first time it had happened, either. She'd already had to read lines and paragraphs multiple times to take it in. Her concentration was away with the fairies, it seemed.
Or, more accurately, fixated on the room just down the hall.
Delaney groaned and turned on to her side, as though by putting her back to the room her friends were fighting she could ignore it.
There'd been no raised voices, at least. That was something. But she still had no way of knowing what had happened – and she didn't feel like using her power to find out, either.
Oh, they'd argued before. With so many different personalities cooped up together, it was something that was impossible to avoid. But it had always been over something insignificant. Something that could be laughed over later, or forgiven with rolled eyes and shaking heads.
This? This involved the government. The way they conducted themselves. It wasn't something you could forget with a joke and light laugh. It affected their entire futures.
So what if she had to retire? Delaney didn't mind that. She'd been through so much chaos in her life that a nice break away from it all would be wonderful. Maybe she could move in with Clint and Laura, and live away from the world on their farm. That'd be nice. Or she could buy an apartment in Brooklyn with Steve – she was sure he'd love that.
But that would mean having to leave the Avengers behind, a group that would have been fractured and damaged. And that was what Delaney couldn't bear. She'd already been a part of one destroyed family, she didn't want that to happen to her new one.
A knock at the door drew Delaney's focus away from her thoughts.
"Lane? Can I come in?"
Delaney smiled and sat up, twisting to face the entrance to her room. "Come in, Sam," she called.
The door opened, revealing the figure of her friend. He smiled warmly – everything about Sam Wilson as warm, really – and Delaney scooted over so he could sit next to her.
"What's going on?" she asked quietly. She dreaded the answer.
Sam sighed. His shoulders slumped forward.
"It's bad," he said heavily. "Everyone's torn apart. Natasha wanted to come in and see you – but she agrees with Tony, and we thought that she wouldn't be the best person to talk to."
Delaney stiffed at his words. Her mind was suddenly numb, her body empty. When she next spoke, she barely felt her mouth move – her words were even distant in her ears.
"Natasha... wants to sign? She's technically against me?"
"Even Tony was surprised."
Delaney leaned over and buried her face in her knees.
"Who else?" she mumbled.
"I can only assume – we don't know about Wanda, she hasn't said anything one way or the other. But Tony, Natasha, Rhodey, and Vision look like they're going to sign. Steve and I don't want to. And we still need to hear from Clint."
"Far out." Delaney closed her eyes. It was almost a clean split down the middle.
She could feel tears building up behind her eyes. She squeezed them even more tightly closed, determined not to let Sam see them.
"I didn't see this happening," she said woodenly.
Sam placed a hand on her shoulder. "I know."
Finally, just when she thought she'd found some relative stability and acceptance in her life – it looked like it was all going to be ripped from her in the worst way possible. And she didn't even have a say in it.
"I just can't sign it, you know. Normally I'd – I'd do anything for us to remain together. But this? It reminds me too much of my past, it makes me feel so cold."
Sam moved his hand so he held her around the middle.
"No one blames you, you know," he said. "Even if they can't agree with not signing it... I think the others appreciate your situation."
Delaney gave him a half-smile. So she hadn't completely lost everyone.
Not yet, at least.
"Sam? Lane?"
Delaney lifted her head. Steve stood in the threshold. He looked awful. Not as though he'd been crying, but as if he'd had half his soul torn from him.
"Steve?" she probed gently. "What's wrong?"
He looked them both in the eye. He tried to project strength, but when he spoke, his words were hollow.
"How would you feel about a trip to London?"
+++
Under normal circumstances, Delaney would have loved to visit London. She considered it a fascinating and beautiful city, and for a long time now she'd been yearning to explore it.
Of course, her interest in the city was in no way correlated to the fact that it was where Harry Potter was set.
Well, maybe a little. But she'd been wanting to visit England before she even picked up the first Harry Potter book.
Now, she just wanted to be back at Avenger's Complex.
Because if she was, then it would've meant that Steve was smiling. Not grieving. It would've meant the Accords didn't exist, and they could all exist in the same space without having to confront the fact pieces of paper now sought to separate them.
The tension had been palpable when she, Steve, and Sam left. Though Natasha had given her a hug before she left, Rhodey a gentle smile, and Tony a clap on the shoulder. It was really the other two things were more tense – Delaney thought it was because the others found it more difficult to appreciate their point of view than her own.
No one had spoken much on their way to London. Steve seemed to had drawn into himself. Delaney played movies and pretending to sleep. Her mind was far too active for her to properly wind down.
She wished she knew what to say to Steve to ease his comfort – but what did his current girlfriend say to ease his pain over the loss of his first love? Somehow it didn't seem appropriate.
Delaney knew about Peggy Carter – how she'd assisted establish S.H.I.E.L.D, her bravery, her determination and intelligence that pushed her past boundaries faced by most women in the 1940s. She was a role model, definitely, and Delaney deeply admired her. There was no jealousy in the equation whatsoever, just a feeling of helplessness as Delaney questioned what she could possibly do to offer Steve any form of comfort.
The weather had been overcast on the day, as though the weather itself was mourning the loss of a brave and heroic human. The ceremony passed in a blur, Steve trying not to cry the entire time. Delaney had sat with a hand on his knee as a minimal form of comfort.
There was one surprise: the woman Delaney recognised as Agent 13 turned out to be Sharon Carter, Peggy's niece, who gave a small speech about Peggy during the ceremony.
When it finished everyone slowly cleared out, even Sam, until only Delaney and Steve remained.
"Would you want some time alone?" she asked.
He nodded once. "Thanks, Lane," he whispered, and kissed her on the forehead.
Once they were outside, Sam took one look at her and said, "I'm going to buy drinks. Coffee's your favourite, right, flat white?"
"Actually, I'd really love a hot chocolate right now."
"I'll be right back."
Now Delaney was left outside a church, where Peggy Carter had her final farewell. She had sunk down onto a bench and hung her head in her hands, shivering slightly in the weather. It was colder here than she was used to.
Maybe she should treat Steve to dinner that night. If not that, then at least a coffee in a small, cosy café. He needed some form of cheering up, and a nice meal was more likely to be effective than her words. No doubt there was some confusion between Peggy and herself right now.
Well, at least she could focus on worrying no Steve at that moment – it allowed her to forget the crisis unfolding with the Avengers at that time.
"Delaney?"
Delaney peeled her hands from her face. Natasha stood just before her, dressed in a black blazer and skirt.
Delaney's stomach lurched oddly at the sight of her friend, though she was still able to muster a smile. "Hey, Nat."
Natasha nodded in the direction of the church and sat down.
"Is he still in there?"
"Yeah. What are you doing here?"
"I came to check on you both." Natasha hesitated. "I'm about to head to Vienna for the signing of the Accords and before I did, I thought I'd make a detour."
Delaney's heart faltered. So it was official. Dread settled in her stomach like concrete.
"I see," she mumbled. "Have you heard from Clint?"
"He's retiring."
Delaney licked her lips.
"At least he can spend more time with his kids now," she said, with a brave attempt of bravado. "What about Wanda?"
"To be decided."
"Right."
They lapsed into silence, the only sound in their ears being that of the wind.
"Hey." Natasha took Delaney's hand and squeezed it. "I think this is a really awful corner you've been pushed into – I'm not the only one. Tony's offered to keep your room with us if you want to. We're not going to kick you out of our lives for this, you know."
Delaney's eyes widened. She tried not to let her hopes raise, but she felt her heart flutter anyway, warmed with renewed hope. She reached out and hugged Natasha.
"You're the best, Nat."
"I know I am," Natasha laughed, though it was gentle.
The two remained in close proximity for several more seconds before Natasha sighed and disentangled herself. "I need to talk to Steve. Take care of yourself, okay?"
"I will."
They managed to smile at each other before Natasha stood and left. As she did, Delaney couldn't help but wonder if this would be the last normal, easy conversation between them for a long time.