Dan watched Sierra walk out the elevator and she left him breathless.
Dear Lord she was gorgeous.
Seeing Sierra walk towards him in all her glory gave him a strange kind of high.
All day he had been looking forward to seeing her again, anticipating the moment and also being weirdly nervous about it too, and now that it was at hand he felt only relief.
Every question and doubt he had had about her effect on him was laid to rest.
Dan knew she felt it to, this sensation of honing in on another human being like a guided missile. He could tell from the shuttered expression on her face, the one she had donned the minute she had seen him standing there across the lobby, but not before her eyes had flared with recognition, and something else, something fleeting and oddly elusive.
"You look beautiful," Dan breathed sincerely.
"Thank you," Sierra said, colouring slightly.
Obviously discomfited by the intense way he keenly watched her.
He had never been out with a classy dame like Sierra before. All those bleach blonde bimbos, throwing themselves at him all his life seemed so cheap, now that he finally saw what he had really been looking for all his life.
Dan loved the way she filled the room with her quiet serenity.
Lightly made up, with her curtain of silky hair swaying like a waterfall around her slender shoulders, hair that Dan itched to run his fingers through given half a chance. The bulky brown coat she wore showed enticing glimpses of the flattering black and white concoction she had on underneath, and it did little to detract from her appeal.
She was stunning, and it made Dan feel just a little unsure of himself, uncharacteristic for him he had to admit with an inner sense of incredulity.
He was wearing another one of the ridiculously expensive Tom Ford suits ma had gotten him for the wedding, Dan knew he looked good, but he felt distinctly out of place next to this elegant creature.
How could someone look so goddamn sexy with so many clothes on, he wondered.
"Did you find the place alright," she asked, breaking the awkward silence.
Dan picked up on the nervous edge to her voice and smiled.
He could just bet she was thinking he was about to jump her bones any minute, which was not far off the mark.
Dan knew he had been a real ass so far. But he was going to show Sierra he could be a gentleman too, his mother had raised him right, he wasn't a "huff and puff and blow your house down type of guy" all the time, there was more to him, far more.
Now that Sierra had finally given him a chance to prove he was worth knowing, Dan was determined to set things straight. Sex wasn't all he wanted from her, not anymore. Granted lust was the principal impulse governing his actions, but it wasn't the only thing he felt for her. Something vague within him told him that he wanted to get to know her better too. And if that meant keeping his hands to himself, for awhile at least, and letting her ease into knowing him, so be it.
They might not have gotten off on the best foot, but tonight Dan fully intended to remedy the situation.
"It took me a bit of time finding the place. But once I drove into West London, there were plenty of signs pointing to Dicken's Yard,"
He wasn't lying, the apartment block where Sierra lived was quite posh, not in an obvious way but understated, luxury was the impression that had hit him as he had parked his car just outside.
"Quite a fancy place you have here," he said casually, surveying the chesterfield sofas flanking one side of a large cavernous lobby, with it's high domed ceilings, marble floors and crystal chandelier.
He noticed the uniformed concierge and security man standing by the front desk too.
These digs were obviously top rate.
"Thank you," Sierra said again, "Shouldn't we be on our way? I suppose you have reservations,"
Dan nodded, "Yeah, but here's a little something I got you first,"
Sierra seemed genuinely surprised when she looked down at the rose in his hand, along with the heart shaped box of Belgian chocolates he had bought from Harrods. Dan felt like a dumb ass for being so corny, he hadn't done anything like this since high school, but Sierra's slow smile at seeing his presents went a long way to quell his embarrassment.
"It looks like I owe you yet another thank you, doesn't it? These look yummy," she said, eyes sparkling.
She took the gifts into her hands, and turned towards the concierge desk, "Peter could you please come here a moment,"
The young, good looking security guard standing by the reception desk, rushed over immediately, smiling like a moron.
Dan didn't appreciate the way he looked at her, but there was very little he could do about it, yet.
"Would you please hold onto these, I'll pick them up when I get back,"
"No problem, miss Davis," the smarmy bastard replied, "Have a nice night,"
"You too, Peter, see you later,"
"Ain't he a little too smiley for a security guard,"
"Don't be silly," Sierra laughed, "That is his job,"
"Hmmfff" Dan grunted.
He still didn't like the way the guy was staring after them as they walked towards the door, with Sierra lightly holding onto his elbow. But Dan told himself to cool it, better not show his possessive tendencies so early in the game.
Funny this had never been much of an issue for him before meeting Sierra. But her so much as smiling at another guy made him clench his teeth in rage, the bitter taste of jealousy rising in his throat like bile. It was inappropriate, subconsciously he knew that, but it was damn hard controlling it. Dan didn't know her well, and she didn't know him either, this was a first date, so why then did he have this rush of proprietary ownership flood him whenever he was with her? It had happened in the club with that guy Scott and it was happening again.
Dan fought the frown trying to work its way over his face, and kept his expression neutral, as they went out into the crisp night air.
They walked by the water fountain in the front courtyard and out onto the pavement, where his rental was parked.
"Is this your car?"
Sierra sounded impressed as he held open the door to the Bentley.
Dan smiled, glad he had gone the extra mile.
He helped her inside the sumptuous leather interior and they were off a minute later. The car drove effortlessly past the closed shops and Cafes dotting Ealing Broadway. Traffic was heavy but he had fed the address into the Sat-Nav, before coming here, it whizzed to life the minute they joined the motorway, with clear directions.
"Do we have far to drive,"
Dan glanced over at her, enjoying the way she sat so stiff and straight on the front seat beside him. Even in the roomy confines of this car, she looked wound up. He wondered just what would finally get her to drop her guard with him. The uncomfortably burgeoning tent in his trousers gave him a few lurid idea's but he had a feeling voicing them wasn't such a good idea.
"Nah, just forty minutes or so," he said, effortlessly weaving the big car through traffic. "I booked us a table at a French restaurant Tony suggested. It is close to where I am staying at the moment. I hope you like it,"
"I am sure I will," she said, fiddling with the seat belt, "What is it called?"
Dan told her the name, probably butchering the french in the process, but hey, he had never pretended to be a connoisseur of fine french cuisine. He just prayed they had some steak, he wasn't much into frou frou dining. But if he had to eat snails to impress the woman at his side, he was willing to do it. He wouldn't enjoy it but he would do it.
"I am impressed," Sierra exclaimed, "That is quite an exclusive restaurant. I tried getting reservations there a few weeks ago. I haven't been successful thus far,"
"Well I am glad to be of service then," Dan drawled, grinning. "Just sit back and enjoy the ride,"
Sierra cast him a surreptitious glance, from below her lashes.
She was feeling a little overwhelmed, she had to give it to the man, he had come to play. First with the romantic presents and then this car ride, not to mention taking her to the city's newest three star Michelin restaurant, where a single starter was reputed to fetch well over a hundred quid. It seemed mister big shot American was going all out. But it wasn't the expensive car or the restaurant that had impressed her, funnily enough it was the way he had looked at her almost shyly when he had handed her that rose and the box of chocolates. The way his face lit up when she had accepted the thoughtful present with a smile had touched her heart.
Dan was acting so very different tonight, Sierra thought.
So far, the two times they had spent any amount of time together had been fraught with tension.
But tonight he was a smiling courteous stranger, his words didn't hide any double meanings and his attitude was respectful. Almost chivalrous. Sierra had to give credit where credit was due, the bloke was being a complete gentleman, and it made the tension drain right out of her, she was still watchful and cautious but she was feeling surprisingly less on edge.
"So how long have you been living at your place,"
"A few years," Sierra answered, "I bought it once my father left me the down payment for the mortgage after he passed away,"
"Sorry to hear that, sweetheart,"
Sierra didn't immediately flinch when he placed his big hand over hers for just a second. It felt oddly comforting,
"Don't worry about it,"
She said smiling, watching him deftly manoeuvre the car, his big, capable hands sliding over the round steering wheel with consummate ease. She watched those hands for just a second grasping onto the wheel with long tapered fingers, the backs of his knuckles were sparsely covered with a smattering of short, dark hair. A familiar Rolex blinked at her from beneath a snowy white cuff on his left wrist. Sierra wondered what it would feel like having those big hands touch her skin, she quickly looked away to break that disturbing train of thought.
"Were you close? You must have been very young when he died,"
Sierra cleared her throat, this was getting a bit too personal. "I suppose so, he died of a heart attack when I was nineteen,"
"Bet that was rough on your mom and siblings,"
"Not really, I was an only child, and my mother died when I was barely out of nappies. I never really knew her,"
Sierra didn't want to talk about her family at all, this topic always took her to a dark place. And it made her uncomfortable.
The circumstances around her fathers death especially, still haunted her.
No one knew that they hadn't spoken for three years before he died. In fact his attitude to her transition had forged a permanent chasm between them long before then. The last two years she had lived with him had been a time of turmoil for them both.
The never ending arguments and recriminations had led to her running away on her eighteenth birthday.
For a whole year after that event she had never bothered to check up on him, too rebellious and upset with him to let go of her childish bitterness. Wasn't it ironic then that in death it was his money, that had paid for her reassignment and facial feminisation surgery, with enough left over for a down payment on her mortgage too.
He had been a difficult and abrasive man in life, but he had always provided for her, and he had been the only parent she had ever known, her mother having died in a road traffic accident when she was four. Her, Sierra had never known. And father had pushed away all reminders of the woman he loved and focused all his energies on his job at the factory after her death, burying himself in work.
They had both lived all those years, together but alone, each mired in their own personal hell.
In the end, Sierra hadn't even been present at his side in the CCU where he had taken his last breath.
Only finding out later on through Ella and the solicitors.
It took a concerted effort of will for Sierra to keep her face impassive and fight off the guilt she still felt.
She could feel Dan quietly watching her, but she looked straight on ahead, past the windshield, watching the changing scenery of central London blindly.
Time to change the subject she decided.
"So how about your family?"
"Not much to tell, really. Never knew my father, ma and him broke up before I was born. It is just me and ma now, and my younger step sister, Cass. She's in college at the moment, studying to become a giant pain in the ass,"
"Like her brother," Sierra shot back under her breath.
"Hey I heard that!"
Sierra looked into his laughing grey eyes and felt her irreverent smile slip.
Why did he have to be so very perfect? with his craggy, dimpled good looks and his goofy crooked, white smile.
The man was far from conventionally handsome, but he drew her eyes, like a magnet.
She wondered why she found it so easy to talk to him.
Sierra was even coming to accept the absorbed fashion he looked at her, it still unnerved her sometimes, like right now, with him running that enigmatic gaze of his down her face as if he was memorising every single feature, but there was something hypnotic about the warmth in his look regardless.
It was so hard to remember in that moment what had really compelled her to accept his dinner invitation in the first place.
"Here we are," Dan announced, bringing his attention back to the road.
They stopped at the entrance to the restaurant and Sierra disembarked, thanking the valet who held the door open. Dan walked across to take her hand and tossed the man the keys.
They walked, arm in arm, into the brightly lit foyer and were immediately approached by the manager.
Sierra was surprised to note that Dan was familiar with the place. She hadn't been lying when she had said this restaurant was exclusive, it was fully booked all the way to the new year. Obviously Dan walked in much more elevated circles than she had considered. She handed her coat at the coat check and let Dan guide her towards one of the many roomy seating alcoves leading off from the front entrance. Many heads turned when they entered. They made a striking couple. Her all slender grace and beauty and him tall, buff and handsome. Sierra was conscious of the way many of the women there stared at Dan as he walked beside her. The envy in their eyes patently obvious.
"Here is your table, sir," the manager said deferentially, "The waiter will be with you to take your order shortly, when you are ready,"
"It seems you have been here before," Sierra said, acutely aware of Dan's warm hand at her naked back as he helped her sit. She felt it tremble ever so slightly as he took it away and that telling fact made her pulse quicken.
"Not really," Dan said gruffly, clearing his throat. He looked a little flushed, maybe it was catching Sierra thought. "I came here for drinks with Tony the other night. He knows the guy who owns the place."
"So, is Tony a good friend of yours?"
"The best," Dan said, "The man got married yesterday. I wish you could have been there to see it,"
Smiling, Sierra busied herself with the napkin, unfolding it,
"I wasn't invited, was I?" she said flippantly.
"Funny, I thought you were,"
Sierra ignored that reminder about the dubious invitation Dan had issued when he had been biting her head off in the Gallery.
"I am sure it was a lovely event,"
"That it was," Dan rejoined softly, "Though I could have done with a sexy little spitfire by my side,"
Sierra's eyes darted up and collided with his intense, meaningful stare. Her polite little smile died. He was doing it again, watching her like a hawk. Why did it unnerve her so? She was relieved when the visual duel was broken by the dapper waiter who stepped up to their table.
"Bonsoir, mademoiselle, monsieur," he said, placing the large, ornate menu on the table. Along with a smaller drinks menu.
"I will leave you to decide what you would like,"
"Merci," Sierra murmured, "This all looks wonderful,"
"Merci beaucoup,"
Sierra watched the man saunter away, to stand discreetly in the shadows a little distance away. She looked back at Dan and found him frowning after the man. Sierra hid a smile. She knew she should find this display of machismo abhorrent, but she was finding Dan's unsavoury reaction to any man who so much as spoke to her charming for some obscure reason.
There was obviously something wrong with her tonight Sierra thought to herself.
"So has Tony suggested what is good here," Sierra asked.
She enjoyed Dan's effort to change focus, from glowering at the poor waiter to schooling his expression into calm civility once more.
He was not wholly successful, but he did try, bless him.
"No idea, Sugar. Just order anything you like,"
After some consideration, Sierra went for the french onion soup as a starter, with a main of poulet de provencal paring it with a white wine chardonnay, ending with a simple creme brulee. Dan ordered a Zinfandel with pan roasted duck breast with sherry honey and thyme sauce. He didn't look too happy with the selection but it seemed like he was going to man up and bite his tongue.
Sierra suspected his tastes veered more towards a good steak and some chips.
For her part, Sierra enjoyed the tasty meal. And as the minutes ticked by, one after the other, she barely noticed time flying.
Dan was his charming best, he regaled her with funny stories about his life in America and his escapades on the ranch he owned. He even told her little anecdotes about the people in his little town of Ellis spring, making them all come alive by impersonating the inflections in each individual persons voice. The way he hung his head and wheezed out "Get off my lawn!" as some poor soul called old coot Baker, had Sierra in bits. She marvelled at the animated and open way he talked. She couldn't help but ask him a thousand questions about his life, intrigued by everything he said despite herself, how could she not be, the man had apparently been the Rodeo state champion in his time, or so he assured her.
Sierra didn't know which of the ridiculous stories were true and which were fiction, but they were all hilarious, so it didn't matter.
The night was a revelation, and for a while Sierra let the atmosphere, the music and the delicious food and wine lull her into a false sense of security and belonging.
They sat at a secluded corner table, far away from the other diners, and it was so easy to forget her doubts and simply let the conversation flow. Sierra couldn't remember the last time she had felt like this, just a woman getting to know an attentive, amenable man, who seemed to glory in every single one of her smiles. Who listened to her as if every word she spoke was a gift. She even let him hold her hand atop the table top between courses, enjoying the way he absently stroked her wrist, while he spoke to her. His heavy baritone washing over her senses. Engrossing and engaging.
The experience was novel and addictive.
Sierra felt like a giddy schoolgirl on her first date.
And then it all came crashing down.
"Well I'll be damned, look who just walked in!" Dan exclaimed, "I wonder what Vincent Taggert is doing here?"
Sierra ripped her eyes away from her dessert and stared past the pillar shielding her from view and giving her unfettered access to the front entrance.
From this vantage point she could clearly see the tall, good looking blonde man who had just entered the building with a few other men in tow.
They were all dressed in suits and apparently laughing at something one of them had said.
But it wasn't the other men Sierra's pincer like gaze was honed in on, it was Vincent Cane Taggert who had all her unwavering attention.
"Do you know him?"
Sierra finally asked Dan, who was staring at her with a slight frown on his face.
"Nah, but he is running for the State senate. I met him once at a dinner Ma hosted, he seemed nice enough then. I donated his campaign some money at a fundraiser recently in Dallas. The man has some good policies,"
"Really?" Sierra said, her tone not betraying the anger she held firmly in check, "Isn't he the man who helped draft the bill for that bathroom furore recently,"
"What?"
"You know, the bill passed by Republicans in North Carolina, the one where they barred transgender women from going to the ladies room,"
"Oh that," Dan said, sounding unconcerned, "Sure, I suppose you could say Vincent had a big part to play in that, but that isn't the policy I am talking about,"
"And didn't he say most trans-gendered people are predators and child molesters,"
Dan frowned, looking more than a little discomfited. "I have no idea. I don't keep up with politics, its really not my thing,"
"Yet you donated money to his campaign,"
"Sure I did," Dan said nonplussed, "I am Republican aren't I, and the guy has some very good policies, especially when it comes to health care and jobs,"
"And the fact that he is a bigot and homophobic and very likely a xenophobe too didn't play into your decision at all,"
"Why are you getting all worked up. So the man has engaged in some controversial rhetoric in his time. He is a politician, it comes with the job description. You have to look at the big picture. You might not agree with his stance towards fringe groups but that doesn't mean he is a bad dude," Dan finished, apparently at a loss at her increasingly testy attitude,
"You think the LGBT community is a fringe group,"
"Stop cherry picking everything I say. I didn't mean it in a bad way. But you have to understand folks down South aren't as open with the whole thing yet. I know it is fashionable down these parts to act like very real problems don't exist with those people but they do,"
"Those people?"
"You know what I mean,"Dan said, sounding frustrated. He ran a agitated hand through his short hair, mussing it up.
"Apparently I don't,"
"Look Sierra let's just call it a truce. We can agree to disagree. I have nothing against the gays, o.k. I believe in live and let live. So why don't we just drop it and go back to enjoying each others company, sweetheart. This has nothing to do with you. With us,"
"I am afraid it does," Sierra said under her breath, but Dan didn't hear, or he acted like he hadn't.
Sierra stared at him with accusing eyes, her previous enjoyment of the night souring in an instant. She forcefully pulled her hand back when Dan reached for it.
Dan's frown turned into a thunderous scowl.
"Cut it out Sierra," he snapped, done with placating her, "I don't know what the hell has come over you but it better stop,"
"Nothing has come over me," she snapped, cold as ice, "I have just realised what a big mistake this whole thing is, I think you better get the bill now. I would like to call it a night,"
"Like hell you will," Dan looked furious, his eyes sparkling with angry fire, nostrils flaring, hard jaw clenched, "I ain't letting you go until you explain what the problem is. Ten minutes ago you were laughing and enjoying yourself, yet now you want to go home. I want to know what the deal is. If I said something to offend you I am sorry, but I can't fix the problem if you won't tell me what it is,"
Sierra watched the angry colour marring his face and she felt a heavy weight descend down upon her. There was no fixing this particular problem, she thought. But Could she really blame Dan for his attitude, she wondered. He was a product of his upbringing, white, male, privileged, successful, chauvinistic and also Republican to boot. No amount of expensive red wine was going to change that. She might have fooled herself into thinking he was someone else, but she could not do that anymore. Especially with what she knew about him now.
Sierra let her fantasy of getting to know him better die a premature death.
The whole thing left a foul taste in her mouth.
At the cusp of telling him exactly why she was so offended with his words and his support for a well known hatemonger, Sierra felt her tongue stick to the roof of her mouth. She just couldn't let him know like this. No matter what his views, he had been nothing but courteous to her tonight, she could not repay that kindness by dropping her bombshell in the middle of a crowded dining room. It would humiliate the proud man sitting before her, eyeing her with frustrated wrath. She couldn't bring herself to do that to him. It wasn't his fault the world was a shitty, unfair place. It wasn't his fault she could never be with someone like him, no matter how much she wanted to be.
"Tell me what is wrong, Honey? Tell me how to fix it,"
Sierra wanted to cry looking into his sombre grey eyes. He was trying so hard to take them back to their happy place, she could see how much he wanted that for them.
And it broke her heart.
For there was no happy place for her, at least not with him. And it was painful to accept that reality.
"I think I need a minute, Dan," Sierra said, not realising how devastated she looked, "I will be back in a moment,"
Dan watched her walk away from him towards the ladies room, seething in abject frustration.
He didn't know what the hell had happened, but he wasn't dense enough not to realise a monumental shift had just occurred.
Damn it, why did this have to happen now? He wondered in dismay.
The evening had gone stupendously until that ass-hole, Vincent Taggart, had walked in.
Perhaps he shouldn't have been so forthcoming about his views on the matter of gay people, that was obviously some kind of trigger point for Sierra.
But how the hell was he to know?
He cursed himself a thousand kinds of fool for arguing with her when they had been getting along so well. But he couldn't help himself, he felt himself seriously falling for this girl, and it was scary as hell. He had never fallen this quick or this hard in his entire life, and Dan didn't know how to come to terms with that fact.
It was all so new to him, uncharted territory.
Sierra's abrupt change of mood had angered him, the truth was he had felt like they were finally connecting on more than a sexual level, and for her to go and revert back to her ice princess routine, after the way she had opened up to him tonight had almost been too much for him to bear.
He had reacted, poorly, Dan now admitted to himself. But as he sat at the table, tapping his fingers agitatedly against the table top in a haphazard rhythm, he was determined to smooth things over if it killed him.
He couldn't let her leave him, not yet, maybe not ever.
Dan knew he had to unravel this wild jumble of emotions that was eating him up inside, somehow he had to make Sierra see what he did.
He just hoped to god there wasn't a window in the ladies room this time.