P H O E N I X
The garage where Kaden worked was relatively difficult to find. It was tucked away behind some trees but when I did locate it and came inside, it was as big as a mansion. There were several levels and rows and rows of cars. It seemed to stretch on forever.
I caught someone as they were walking past to ask them where I could find Kaden. He pointed me in a direction and even then I got a little bit lost. But after some more wandering, I came across a pair of familiar sneakers poking out of a black Honda. Beside long legs was an empty coffee cup.
I leaned against another car and waited. There was open textbook perched on the hood along with pieces of paper filled with Kaden's scribbles. There was a half done equation with the rest taken over by a messy pen sketch of the Honda.
I'd finished my exams but I knew Kaden still had a couple more to go. I moved the papers, causing the pen to fall to the ground just as he rolled out from under.
"Hey." He said, picking up the pen. I didn't miss the grimace he tried to mask as he got up. "What are you doing here?"
"Brought you lunch." I handed him the plastic bag from my backpack.
"Thanks." He gave me a quick peck on the lips.
I could smell sweat mixed with petrol clinging to his skin. He was in a pair of faded jeans and tank top, leaving his arms exposed. There were fewer bruises than before. He was almost fully healed. Other than that, my view was more than pleasing.
He wiped his hands with a rag and offered me a sandwich. I shook my head, "Chloe said not to push your body so much. At least not until it's fully healed."
"I'm fine, stop worrying." I wasn't convinced so he raised his brow in challenge. "Okay, would I be able to do this?"
Without warning, he gripped my hips and raised me up so I was straddling his waist. I was too shocked to do anything but gasp a little louder. I looked around to see a few heads turned our way.
"Put me down." I hissed.
Instead of listening to me he began to walk with me still straddling him. When I tried to get down myself, he picked me back up bridal style. He took me to a little corner where the cars were stacked on top of one another and away from prying eyes.
Then he began kissing me. I resisted at first but my attempts were futile and I gave in all too quickly. My fingers knotted into his hair, my mouth battled with his and from there on things began to escalate quickly.
Our bodies molded into one another. It was different to other times, somehow more intimate. His hand was on the hem of my shirt and it was going smoothly until he doubled over groaning.
I shot away from him like he was on fire, terrified I'd done something to hurt him. Slowly, I inched closer but as I did so I saw his shoulders shaking in. . . laughter?
"You should have seen your face." He looked up grinning.
"Screw you." I picked up the jacket that he'd taken off me not seconds ago. As I made my move to leave, he caught my wrist.
"Phoenix." I swallowed as he moved my chin to meet his intense gaze. "Thank you."
"I would hit you--" He pecked my lips before I could finish.
"I know."
We went back to the Honda, his arm still around my waist. The other half of the sandwich was still there as well as the orange juice box I'd gotten.
He held it up, puncturing it with a straw. "Really?"
I shrugged. "It's better than caffeine."
"Caffeine helps me stay awake."
"Well, maybe you should try sleeping."
"I already do that with you."
I glared at him before sighing. "You're impossible."
He just smiled and picked up his pen, returning to the sheet of equations he'd abandoned earlier. I watched him hunched over the hood of the car, brows furrowed in concentration and sipping from the juice box every so often.
His tousled hair fell into his eyes, making me remember what we were doing a few moments ago. My chest fluttered a little realising how much I liked this guy.
We sat in comfortable silence for a while but I was the first to break it, saying something that had been on my mind since this morning. "I'm going to stay with my dad this summer."
"That's great." He murmered.
Then I took a long pause to say the part that had been anxiously sitting on my mind all the way to the garage. "Come to New York with me."
"What?" He looked up, startled.
I bit my lip nervously. I was putting everything out on the line here. "Will you go to New York with me?"
The silence seemed to stretch on forever. But it wasn't comfortable anymore. It turned into nervous anticipation on my end.
When he didn't say anything I began to doubt myself. "It's fine if you have plans but I thought since you. . ."
He was staring at something in the distance. It was like I could almost feel him shutting me out. "I need time to think about it."
"Of course." I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice.
"Thanks for coming by." He said, kissing me on the cheek before collecting his rag and going back on the sliding platform and disappearing under the car. For a moment I thought the car would unhinge and crush him underneath.
I waited a few more moments but nothing happened. Eventually, I gathered my things and turned away. But with every step I took, I felt my heart sink further in my chest.
-
Kaden didn't answer my calls and texts for the next three days so I wondered if my proposal had scared him off. I knew he still had finals so he was probably busy studying. I was also busy with preparing the set list for the end of year dance so I wasn't able to see him face to face either.
It was the day of the dance that I looked at my phone for the umpteenth time to be faced with an empty screen. I tried not to think about it too much as I put it away and went to the back of Jay's trunk.
"Thanks for the help." I said to Will. He was visiting Jay for a few days. This was my second time meeting him. The first was at the music festival a couple months back.
"No problem." He grabbed one of the speakers from the boot and began to carry it over to where the set up was. This year, the budget was a little broader so we'd decided to have the celebrations outside, on the beach.
There was a small hall opposite the beach for the teacher's speeches but the main stage was set up on the sand. A few guys from the football team had helped construct the stage and it looked like they'd done a pretty good job.
"How's our resident DJ doing?" Jay's voice broke into my thoughts just as I lit up a cigarette. "Come on, you're playing tonight."
I shrugged. "I only need my hands for this type of music."
"What's up, really?"
"Nothing." He didn't look convinced. I sighed, knowing I would have to tell him eventually. "I think I might have messed things up with Kaden."
"How come?"
"I asked him to come to New York with me."
"Did he say no?"
"He didn't say yes."
"Dump him." He deadpanned.
"Jay, I'm serious. Is there something wrong with me?"
"The only thing wrong with you is this." He gestured to the cigarette. "And if Kaden can't see all that's right with you then clearly he's the one in the wrong."
I smiled slightly, his words made me feel a little better. "Thanks."
"Now forget about him. Tonight you're going to go up on that crooked stage and do your thing."
"Pushing buttons to hype up a crowd of wasted people that want to get laid." I finished off for him.
"Yep." He patted my shoulder and plucked the cigarette from my lips, stamping it out underneath his foot. Then he began to pull me towards where the set up was.
Chloe was there instructing Will where to place the speakers. From the way he sat down heavily, he'd been at it for a while.
"Maybe we should move it a bit more to the right." Chloe said, making Will look uncertainly at her. He was too nice to say no to her so I stepped in.
"It looks fine where it is."
"You sure?"
I nodded. Will sighed in relief and began to make his way down but as he was doing so he knocked over Chloe's purse from the edge of the stage.
"Whoops."
"It's okay, I got it."
I went up to the spot where it had fallen. The purse had been open so the contents were all spilled out among the sand. There was a liquid lipstick, a compact mirror, Chloe's phone-- and a pregnancy test stick.
I stared at the small plus sign until a shadow fell across it. Chloe took the stick from my hands, I couldn't make out the expression on her face. But when she began to walk away, a thought occurred to me.
"Is it Matt's?" I blurted out.
I didn't realise it was hope I was clinging onto until she shook her head. Then that hope vanished but it was replaced by concern.
"Chloe." I got up slowly, brushing the sand away from the hem of my dress.
"Please don't tell anyone about this."
I frowned. "Doesn't Jay know?"
"Nobody knew until now."
I nodded along. "I promise I won't tell." She began to walk away again but I couldn't let it end there. "Wait."
When she stopped, I didn't struggle to find the words like I had last time. "I know it's not much but I'm here for you."
"I know." She whispered softly.
I thought what it would be like to be in Chloe's situation. She was brave. Much braver than me. After the year she'd had, it was a wonder that she was still standing. And it made me wonder how much a person could take before they began to crumble. She carried on like normal after that. Like nothing had happened.
Jay came up behind me, clapping a hand on my shoulder. "You alright?"
I nodded, wondering if Jay had been the one to find the pregnancy stick, if things would have gone differently.
"It's just like old times, the three of us." Jay smiled. "You know, at the beginning of the year I was beginning to doubt things."
"Yee of little faith." I joked even though I couldn't help but feel Jay was wrong. Things weren't fully repaired. But maybe I needed to give it more time.
"Things will be different tonight. I can feel it." He paused. "Ready?"
I took in a deep breath, "As I'll ever be."