"-it's just dad I don't know what to do and-and you know I can't act" I said into the cellular phone I heard a chuckle on the other end.
"Trust me L.K I know for a fact you can't act."
I sighed "What state are you in?" I asked quickly hoping to change the subject from myself and to him, he sighed and I headed a grunt "Somewhere in.. I think Delaware" he said.
I laughed "Lovely" I paused and frowned "I miss you daddy" I whispered and a tear threatened to escape.
"I miss you too my little monster" I could hear the sadness in his voice "How is L.A?" he asked.
I sighed "Good. Until today" I said as I tugged at my Metallica shirt "I wish you we're here it would make things a lot easier" I admitted.
I heard him laugh "I can't be in two places at once Beth, even though I wish I could be" he told me, I smiled.
My dad loves me since day one but, I haven't really gotten to se ehim much since mom and Jim's divorce finalized.. They can't stand to be around each other.
But they do it at Christmas just for me.
"Me too. Can you give me any tips on my situation?" I asked with a hopeful voice.
He chuckled "Yeah don't screw up" he said as he laughed, I rolled my eyes and set my other hand on the bar of the hotel room.
"Gee. That's great advice. Mom and Keith would be more helpful" I said as I played with my ring.
He huffed "That bat and her jackass couldn't help a-"
"Daddy" I said a warning in my tone even though I was smiling. He sighed "Your right. I'm sorry" he said then paused "I got a invite to their wedding. I'm surprised your mother wants me there."
"She done it for me. I said I wouldn't be there unless they invited you" I said and smiled as someone knocked on the door.
"Give me a second dad" I said and walked to the door "Who is it?" I called.
There was a clear of the throat "It's, uh, Tom, Jermey, Chris H, Vin and Robert" the voice called, well shit. I opened the door and held a finger to my lips hoping they could catch onto what I was saying, they nodded and took a seat as I walked back to the kitchen.
"Sorry dad.. It was the hotel maid" I lied, and I heard a quiet laugh, I turned and glared at Jeremy who got smacked on the head by Tom.
"Ahh, already livin' up the life eh?"
I laughed "No, dad. I don't even know what to do" I said.
He sighed "I will be in L. A in a week" he said and I could see him shrugging in my head "I will see you then if you will be there still."
"Sounds like a date, Frank" I joked.
He chuckled "See ya then, Bethie."
"I love you" I whispered and felt my heart dropping.
He sighed "I love you too baby girl. Be safe out there."
"You know I always am" I heard my own voice crack but I stood up straight.
He chuckled "Bye Bethie."
"Bye daddy" I said and hung up before I started crying, I wiped my eyes and turned smiling at the actors "Hi.. So why are you-"
"Forget that. Mine explaining why your crying?" Chris H asked, I sighed and sat down at the bar with my head in my hands "Long story" I mumbled.
"We got time" Vin said, and I looked at them.
(L. K'S 'not so secret' Diary)
12/25/06
Mommy and daddy fought again at dinner, grandma put me in a old room and told me to lie down and sleep. Why do mom and dad keep fighting.
I don't understand it, mommy gets mad at daddy and I can't stand it. Daddy does nothing wrong and mom doesn't either.
What if they divorce? I don't know how I would take it.
I want to cry but when the door opened I held it in and when the door closed I felt the bed go down and I opened my eyes to see daddy, his already salt and pepper hair was soaked while his eyes we're sad.
He told me he had to go back to work tomorrow and to enjoy my record player, he gave me a late Christmas gift which was a Black Sabbath cassette tape.
As I had hugged him he told me he loved me and to not cry and everything would be okay.
So, I made a vow to myself. I wouldn't cry. I would hold it in.
Hold the tears back for daddy.