"Her hand in his, he became her tomorrows." ~Atticus
The next day dawned much too quickly. I'd spent the night beside Adam, watching our favorite shows and talking until he drifted off, nearly mid-sentence. I didn't fall asleep for another while and simply lay there, tracing his tattoos and playing with his hair. He woke up a few times and mumbled something, whining like a puppy when I would remove my hand from his skin.
Eventually I did sleep but it was restless and light.
When my alarm went off I blinked and moaned. I just wanted to stay here, curled up beside Adam's warm body forever. To keep him safe and loved. But I also had a job to do and for his sake I would do it to the best of my abilities, even if missing him broke my heart more and more each time.
I slipped out of bed and tiptoed into the bathroom to get ready. By the time my hair and makeup was finished Adam was awake, seeming much more alert than he had been in the past few days, though his eyes held sadness. I was still aching to talk to him about his confession, as well as ask him who Lauren was from his dream, but now wasn't the time.
"Baby," he said with a smile. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks, Adam. And you look sleepy." I chuckled, leaning down to kiss him. He put his hand at the nape of my neck to deepen the kiss and I was quickly lost in it before remembering that I had to be going.
I pulled away but put my hands on either side of his face to look him deep in his beautiful blue eyes.
"I love you so much, Adam Lambert. Never forget that."
Adam ran his finger over the ring on my hand and he brushed his lips against my neck.
"Never. And you better always remember that I love you too, promise?"
"Cross my heart. Now, make sure you take it easy, alright? Please? I don't want to have to come home to find you in a wheel chair."
"Aww, but I wanted to race the old lady down the road!"
I snorted and ruffled his already messy hair. "Someday maybe. But let's not make it soon."
"Deal."
We stood there a moment, just looking in each other's eyes, committing every feature to memory, before I absolutely had to go.
Tears pricked my eyes but Adam brushed them away.
"Shh, baby doll, don't cry. We're gonna see other really soon, okay?"
"But not soon enough," I sniffled.
Adam cracked a sad smile. "Any second away from you is too long to be away, I agree. But you're doing something you love and something you're so incredibly talented at. Let that be the thing that keeps you there."
I nodded and we kissed one last time.
"Don't over do it."
"Are you sure you don't wane me coming to the airport with you?" He asked.
"Adam, you can barely stand and you only made yourself worse by insisting to walk up the stairs to get here instead of use the guest room downstairs."
"Well, we couldn't have my mother staying in my room now, could we? Some explaining would be needed if she decided to snoop..."
I rolled my eyes. "She could always have used my room-"
Adam smirked at me and winked. "I don't think so."
I blushed. "Okay, I'm getting out here. I love you."
"I love you too. Let me know when you land?"
"Of course."
I let my eyes linger on him for a moment longer, then left the room.
The heartbreak kicked in the second I pulled out of the driveway.
ADAM'S POV
I sat on the edge of the bed, my body aching from my slumped position, but I didn't care.
I hadn't been asleep when I'd muttered that the accident hadn't been an accident at all. I answered the questions Nix asked me, I heard her run from the room and go downstairs, crying. It just made me hate myself more. Being forced to lay there, drenched in cold sweat, painkillers, and guilt.
Maybe it had been horrible to tell her that, and maybe it would backfire and I would get unwanted attention, an intervention or whatever, but I felt she had to know.
Because I hadn't been lying. I have no clue what took over me that day. It was almost as if my body moved before my brain, or my subconscious made the choice up for me, knowing that I was drowning in self-hatred and unable to think straight.
The screech of the wheels and the horn still rang in my ears as if I were still in the moment, and I winced.
But the fact that I still did it is what terrified me. I was at that point in my life where I couldn't handle the shit I'd gotten myself into and all the things I'd done. To Sauli, to Nix, to Lauren, to anyone and everyone I had ever wronged, the fans I had let down.
I shook myself, wishing to God I had that bottle of tequila that was downstairs, but I had to start learning to actually deal with things without trying to drink away the problem.
I carefully reached under my side of the bed for the ratty black notebook I kept there, flipped through some well worn pages and to the last one I'd been writing on. I skimmed over the lyrics written there, catching up with them in my head.
Before I met you woulda said I'm fine If you asked, if you asked, if you asked me
And then you gave that word another life
Yeah you got, yeah you got, yeah you got me I wore the pain on my face
Hoping someday it would fade
You know how to wash it away
Oh you do it
I wear the smile that you gave me
Won't take it off if you paid me
I wouldn't say that you saved me
But the truth is
Right when we met
You made me forget
That my heart was ever
Bro- broken
Looking at me
You wouldn't believe
That my heart was ever
Bro- broken
I tapped the pen against my lips in concentration. How could one even put Nix into words? She was indescribable to say the least.
Before I met you I wouldn't sleep alone
But it felt, but it felt, but it felt like it
I moved my body, but my chest was stone
Couldn't break, couldn't break, couldn't break it
I wore the pain on my face
Hoping someday it would fade
You know how to wash it away
Oh you do it
I wear the smile that you gave me
Won't take it off if you paid me
I wouldn't say that you saved me
But the truth is
Right when we met
You made me forget
That my heart was ever
Bro- broken
Looking at me
You wouldn't believe
That my heart was ever
Bro- broken
Only you can make me forget that my
Heart's been broke
You got me feeling like
Only you can make me forget that my
Heart was ever broken
Bro-broken
Right when we met
You made me forget
That my heart was ever
Bro- broken
Looking at me
You wouldn't believe
That my heart was ever
Bro- broken
Bro- broken
I set aside the pen and read over the page a few times, making little changes here and there, then started humming a melody. Eh, that would take another day, but I liked what I had so far.
And hopefully so would she.
(Whew. Well, things should be heating up soon, though it may require a time jump...would you guys hate me for that? Skip the mushy-gushy and get to the nitty-gritty? (Not like THAT! Although, there will be plenty of THAT to come ;) )
Sorry chapters have been short- all my creativity is not currently in this story right now, but my other story- my REAL book- is really hard to write and emotionally exhausting, so that's when I switch over to this. And what with all the current excitement and crap over here in 'Murica, I have had no sleep whatsoever in three days!
I was going to just do an imagine today but I instead finished this chapter. Hopefully I get motivated for that soon though.
BTW, I am accepting REQUESTS for my Ones Shots+ You can message me, comment below, or on a chapter of O.S+ if you have an idea. Honestly people, please! I love hearing from you all and what you wanting!
THANK YOU FOR 11.9k READS! <3 <3
As always I will see you in the next chapter!
~CG)
P.S I do not own the song Broken by Tritonal and Adam Lambert, nor do I own the poem 'Tomorrows' by Atticus. Check them out on IG at Atticuspoetry! It's amazing, beautiful, and moving poetry that hits you right in the feels every. Single. Time.