Sirius's Defense
James was sitting at the Gryffindor table during his free period, straddling the bench, reading the new Transfiguration textbook, waiting for the other three Marauders, and trying some of the spells in the book on a water goblet that stood before him on the table. He'd already successfully turned the water goblet into a raven and back again twice. There were a couple students at the Ravenclaw table glancing over his way, impressed with his skill, whispering to one another each time the water goblet let out a squawk.
Sirius came in, carrying his Muggle Studies book and ink pot, his quill stuck up in his hair, which he'd pulled back into a messy knot at the back of his head. He dropped onto the bench on the opposite side of James. "My boyfriend's always busy, he's never going to be free, he's a bloody father practically. I hate those children. I want them all to go away and give me my Moony back." Sirius dropped the book onto the table with a thump, knocking the goblet over and putting his face down on the table.
James reached over and righted his goblet. "Be a bit more dramatic, Sirius," he said.
"It's true," Sirius whined. "I've seen him for about a grand total of ten minutes last night and I was so fucking tired that I didn't get to enjoy it! I fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow!" He looked frazzled.
"You've just spent an entire class with him, you git; two in a row, actually!"
"That doesn't count!" Sirius said, "Blimey - wouldn't count if it was you and Maryrose, now would it?"
James hesitated. He thought it rather might, actually, and he shrugged and turned back to the Transfiguration book a moment before aiming his wand at the water goblet, "Cisne alterar," he said, turning it into swan. The swan was a bit silver 'round the neck but for the most part he'd done alright at it, considering they'd never learnt the spell in a class.
Sirius stared up at the bird, then looked at James, "You can't seriously be thinking it might count if you only got to see Maryrose in classes. I mean, when the bloody hell would you snog?"
"Ah yeah, true," James murmured. "I'd snog her in the hall between classes, I s'pose. Then it'd count..."
Sirius said, "See, Moony won't even let me do that. He's too bloody afraid of the damn Slytherins!" He slammed his palm on the table top. "It's stupid. I don't understand why he doesn't trust me that I'd ruddy protect him from them if they started any of their usual rubbish! I don't think they have the balls to do it anyway, not this year, not with Gideon and Fabian Prewett in the castle watching."
James shrugged, "Dunno. Alterar reverso!" He waved his wand and the swan went back to being a water goblet - except the goblet had webby feet now. He frowned as the goblet waddled about the table between them. "Damn." He aimed at the feet again, "Alterar reverso!" And finally he had just a regular water goblet before him.
"Good one, James," Sirius said, though he looked deep in thought.
James said, "Perhaps you ought to talk to him about it."
"Talk to him about it?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah," James nodded, "Maryrose says conversation is important. I'm supposed to have one with her tonight, apparently. She says if I want to keep on snogging her I have to have a conversation and get to know her better or something like that. I dunno."
Sirius shook his head, "Women."
"I know."
Sirius looked up as Peter joined them at the table, brandishing a bit of parchment in his hand excitedly, "Look at this, guys." He handed the parchment to Sirius.
"Dueling club seeking new members interested in practicing their defensive and offensive Defense Against the Dark Arts Skills - Tuesday Evenings, Great Hall after Dinner, hosted by Fabian and Gideon Prewett. Sign up in the DADA Hall. Must be Third Year or Higher to Join." Sirius read outloud. "Brilliant."
"Definitely doing that," James nodded.
Peter was flushed with excitement, "Excellent!"
Remus appeared, "What's excellent?" he asked. Behind him came along the five boy first years - the girls had gone with Lily up to the common room to change for lunch.
"Dueling club," James said.
"Hosted by the Prewetts," added Sirius, handing Remus the flyer.
"Whoa! A dueling club?" asked Dexter.
"Sounds brilliant, where do we sign up?" Wally asked eagerly.
Sirius smirked, "Sorry, little beans, you lot are too ickle for dueling clubs. You must be this high to join." He held his palm up over where any of their eleven year old heads would reach.
James snorted.
Oliver, Darcy, Dexter, and Liam looked disappointed. Wally, on the other hand, said, "What if we just put an enlongating charm on our legs, then? I saw one in the Charms book..." he opened his bag and yanked out his charms textbook.
"You'd look funny for one," Sirius said.
"Yeah, all stretched," said James.
"And you'd tip over trying to duel," Sirius added. "Everyone would laugh at you. Starting with me."
"Be nice, Sirius," Remus said scoldingly, but smiling as he did.
Sirius smirked.
The rest of lunch went by fairly quickly and Sirius tried to pull Remus aside after to ask if they could have some private time that afternoon to talk, sometime between Charms and Transfiguration, but Remus had to get the kids off to their Potions class and Sirius didn't get to schedule a time for them to have their conversation.
"I'm so fucking frustrated," Sirius complained.
James was staring down at his textbook as they walked upstairs to Professor Flitwick's room. "It'll get better. They just need to find their way about the castle right now and Remus's showing them. Give it a week and they'll know their way around the same as we did..."
Sirius looked excited. "James, you're a genius. I gotta go."
"What?" Peter squeaked, "But Charms -- first class of the term!"
"Tell Flitwick I'm sick. This is more important." He hurried off.
James frowned after him. "Bloody hell. He's up to no good again."
"When isn't he?" Peter asked.
Sirius was, indeed, up to no good. He met the Marauders a bit later in the corridor by the Charms classroom, carefully staying out of sight of Flitwick's door. He held a stack of parchment. "Remus, I've solved our problem."
"Our problem?" Remus asked, looking at Sirius in confusion, "What problem did we have?"
James glanced at Peter, one eyebrow raised.
"The problem where you're always busy with the first years," Sirius answered, "I've deduced that it's because you've got to show them about everywhere throughout the castle. And I get that, Hogwarts is a big place, loads of things change and move and it's hard to learn the ropes of it, especially when you're ickle beans like the firsties. So --" he handed one of the parchments to Remus.
Remus hesitated, unfolding it, and found a quickly drawn copy of the Marauders Map - sans the trace, of course, that the real Marauders Map had upon it - all labeled in Sirius's handwriting. Remus looked up, "Sirius --"
"What? With this, they can show their own damn selves about the castle and that'll free you up to see me more than you have. I fancy a good snogging, Remus, my mouth is craving yours on it."
A Hufflepuff girl walking by looked over and her eyebrows went up, overhearing the words.
"Sirius," hissed Remus as James waved to the girl. "Don't just say stuff like that, you never know who might be around and --"
"Remus, c'mon! I can't do this! I can't stand it! Am I allowed to say anything to you at all or is just having a spot of conversation with you too much and might give us away now? Huh?" Sirius whined.
Remus said, "Sirius --"
"They aren't going to ruddy pick on you, I'll see to it that if any of them do, I hex them and --"
"Evan Rosier's already done!" Remus shouted, "Where were you then, huh? You can't be 'round me all the bloody time, Sirius, and the moment you aren't they bloody get me. You scare them.I am a toy for them to mess about with! You. Don't. Understand."
Sirius's eyes went narrow and angry, "Rosier's hurt you? What'd that evil little cockroach do?"
James and Peter both looked pissed, too.
Remus flushed, "Just knocked me down, nothing really, but the point is --"
"I'll bloody knock him down," Sirius said, and he stopped walkin toward Transfiguration, turning back.
"Now where are you going?" James demanded.
"To crush the evil little cockroach, of course," Sirius said.
Remus looked at James and Peter, and called, "Oi - Sirius," jogging after him quickly down the hallway.
James looked at Peter. "Well, I'm not bloody missing this."
"Me either!"
Peter and James ran after Remus and Sirius down the hall to the staircase. Sirius hurried along, then grabbed the arm of one of the third year Ravenclaws he recognized from their Care for Magical Creatures class the year before. "You. Any clue where the third year Slytherins are at?" he demanded.
"Herbology?" guessed the Ravenclaw, shrugging.
"Excellent." Sirius bolted down the hall.
"SIRIUS!" Remus ran after him, "Don't -"
"I'M DEFENDING YOUR HONOR, REMUS! Don't bother trying to stop me."
"Siriussss," Remus whined, unable to catch up to him because of his bum knee hurting and he pulled out his wand, "Stop it or I'll use magic to stop you myself."
"I'll hex you, Remus Lupin," Sirius answered, "Don't make me do it, I will. To protect you, I will."
"You're not going to hex me! You git!"
"I will if I must!"
"Sirius! C'mon!" Remus begged. But they'd made it across the castle already - James and Peter only a few yards behind, Peter panting from the run - and Sirius found the Slytherins in the Ravenclaw courtyard, in the shadow of the Bell Towers, standing about, talking and laughing, having stolen a book from a first year Hufflepuff, tossing it back and forth over the little one's head.
Sirius marched across the courtyard, raised his wand, walking up behind Evan Rosier... Remus skidding to a halt at the edge of the courtyard, looking pale and terrified for what Sirius was about to do. James and Peter arrived and skid to a halt beside him.
"ROSIER!" Sirius yelled.
Evan Rosier turned around, just as Sirius waved his wand.