AN: I'm so happy that you guys are enjoying this story, and I appreciate the love. But, I have to say that this story is already written and completed. 👀👀 And none of it is written based off what I think readers want to happen. It won't change because a reader disagrees. not to sound harsh, but I see that a lot on here. But anyways, hope y'all like this chapter.
Friday, February 19th, 2016
Bey's POV
I've been in the hospital for about three weeks now and it's annoyin' as shit. It's been annoyin' since day two. I'm so ready to go home! This bed isn't the most comfortable to sleep in. I have to lay on my back which is not how I usually fall asleep. I have to be extremely sleepy in order to actually fall asleep. I don't get many hours of sleep because it's so hard to fall asleep.
The only thing that makes sleepin' here a little easier is my blanket from home. It's like a frozen tundra in here at night and these thin hospital blankets won't keep me warm. I have to use both. I still have to wear this stupid hospital gown because my wounds are still healin'. I can finally wear my joggers, though.
My shoulder and arm bein' in a brace just makes everything harder. Yes, I'm right handed, but sometimes I need both of my hands to do certain things. I can't comb my hair wit' one hand.
The food is alright. It's not good, but it's not entirely horrible either. It's whatever. I can't have anything too heavy. Mainly soups, salads, sandwiches, fruit and vegetables. If I want something sweet, they give me jello. It's not what I want really want but it lowkey does the trick.
The most annoying part of about this whole situation is that I can't freakin' walk. Well, I can, but my balance is completely off. I always stumble every time I try move on my own. When I do have someone by my side, it takes forever to get to my destination. I still stumble. Takin' "showers" is a pain in the ass. I still have stitches that I can't get wet or get soap on. I have to have someone wit' me, helpin' me stand while tryin' to clean my body. It's either my Mom- if she's there, or my sister. Havin' the nurse wit' me was so strange the first time because I'm so exposed! But I'm use to it now.
My doctor and my nurses are lowkey annoyin'. They literally are in my room every thirty minutes. I need my treatment and help movin' my legs, but it's annoyin'. They're always askin' how I'm feelin' and tellin' me how it's gonna get better and blah blah blah. I know that's they're job, but havin' someone in your face all day everyday is nerve wreckin'! Especially since they constantly ask me how I'm feelin'. Like I'm in fuckin' pain and can't walk or play basketball! What the fuck do you think?
"Knock, knock." I heard.
"Come in." I told whoever it was, most likely my nurse or doctor.
"Good morning, Bey." Nurse Savannah greeted as she entered my room. She's my favorite nurse. The other nurse that comes in around seven o'clock pm isn't as nice and gently as Savannah is. She saw that I was struggling to put my hair in a ponytail with my one hand and helped me out. Instead of brushing it into a ponytail, she gave me cornrows so I won't continue to struggle. The next day, she gave me a wave cap. It's better than a regular scarf and easier for me to put on.
The other nurse, Teresa, is a grumpy old white lady. She's not very helpful. I don't like her.
"Mornin'." I mumbled. I like Savannah but I'm not much of a mornin' person, especially not now.
"How are you feeling, love?" She asked in her usual chipper tone.
I feel like I wanna go home.
"I'm fine." I answered plainly. She just nodded her head. I could tell that she wanted to say more but remembered that I didn't like talkin' so much in the mornin'. She went over to the sink to wash her hands and put a pair of gloves.
"We're going to look at your stitches and change the dressing." I pulled the covers back and lifted my gown up. Gently she pulled the dressing off then looked up at to make sure I was okay.
"When are they comin' out?" I asked referring to my stitches.
"Only doctor Galloway can determine that, but I can tell you that it's healing really fast. The fastest I've ever seen." She smiled at me. I would've smiled back but i just wasn't in the mood. I'm never in the mood.
"So, who is comin' by to see you today?" She asked.
"I don't know. No one probably."
"You always a visitor. Never knew a patient with a visit log as long as yours." It seems like everyone has come to visit me at least once. The entire church, guys and girls basketball team, coach AJ, classmates, Matt and his mom, my family, and my therapist. I still have my sessions once a week. I definitely need it now.
"Nobody is comin' today."
"I'm sure your mom will be by to see you."
"No. She's workin'." My Mom has to work at the casino tonight, after the last child is picked up. She's always workin' so she doesn't really come by. I didn't expect to her to be glued to my bedside, so I'm not hurt by it.
"Boyfriend?"
"I don't know." I answered sadly. It's been a week and a few days since Shawn last visited me. He was coming everyday after school and after practice until visitin' hours ended. I don't know why. I thought maybe his Granny was tired of drivin' back and forth because she was takin' Tyran to work and pickin' him up. She had pick Shawn up, too. I could be wrong, though.
Maybe he didn't want to continue to see me like this. Maybe he just didn't want to see me at all. Maybe he was occupied wit' someone else. Maybe he was busy wit' school and basketball. Maybe he was wit' his Dad and them.
It could be a number of reasons why he stopped comin' to see me. But I wouldn't know for sure because I haven't really even talked to Shawn. I've talked to him maybe two or three times this week. It's always a short conversation. Extremely short. He asks how I'm doin' but it doesn't feel like he really was interested in my well bein'. It feels like it was just a chore. I ask how he's doin' and what's he's been up that day. He never gives a real answer, which is strange because Shawn talks so much damn. Now he just says that he's chillin' and stuff then he has to go do homework or his Granny needs him to do something for her.
"How long have you two been together?"
"Six months."
"First boyfriend, right?" She glanced at me as she was putting my brace back on. I winced at the discomfort I felt.
"Yeah." I said. "How'd you know?"
"I have a girl cousin around your age. She's the same way around her boyfriend as you are around yours. I just figured."
"How long have they been together?" I didn't really care to really know but I didn't want to be rude either.
"I think she told it's been eight months, maybe seven."
Aaw.
"Does she love him?" I genuinely wanted to know if she loved her boyfriend.
Nurse Savannah smiled. "She expresses it every chance she gets."
"Does he love her back?"
"The boy is head over hills."
"That's good." I nodded my head. Nurse Savannah left to go get my breakfast. When she returned wit' the food on a tray, she didn't immediately set it up for me. She walked over to the window. Every mornin' after changin' my dressing, she pulled the curtains open, lettin' the sun illuminate the room. She never once asked if it was okay, but I didn't mind. I liked the way the sun somewhat heated the room.
"I brought you something special today." She said.
"From this place?" Sarcastically, I asked.
"This is between me and you, okay?" She said removin' the lid. My eyes widen at the plated of clearly homemade French toast, eggs and turkey bacon. It looked like it would be turkey bacon.
"All I had left was turkey bacon so-"
"It's okay!" I smiled. "Thank you so much!" If I could hug her, I would!
"You're so welcome! I know this food isn't the best. I know you're sick of it. I hope this cheers you up a bit, Muffin." Nurse Savannah had no idea! This is literally what I've been wantin'. Really good food! God is goin' to bless her!
When I finished eatin', she gave my antibiotic pills and the other pills-I forget the names of them. It was time for my first breathin' treatment of the day, which was a bit frustratin', but what else is new.
We were about to start the daily leg exercise but I had to potty. Nurse Savannah extended her hand to help me get up. I instantly wrapped my arm around her shoulders to hold myself up. She wrapped her arm around my lower back and held my right hand in her right hand.
"You ready?" She asked. I took a deep breath. I really hated this. I hated not bein' able to walk but it was inevitable. I slowly moved my right leg first. It felt like a cooked noodle.
"You got it." Nurse Savannah encouraged like she did every single day. I moved my left leg forward and tears filled my eyes. In the beginning of all of this, I tried so hard to hold my tears in. But it was pointless because I just couldn't help it. It fuckin' sucks! I can't even walk by myself! I can't use my left hand, I can't do anything! And it fuckin' sucks! If only I had listened to Matt and Shawn.
I really hate myself.
Nurse Savannah assisted me in the restroom then helped me back the bed. I laid back on the bed and she started the leg movements. It was kinda like physical therapy, almost. She just moved them around and pushed back on my thighs.
"You start physical therapy today." Nurse Savannah announced. "Are you ready?"
"Not really." I'm not ready to go through the intense physical therapy. I know that it's gonna be tough. I can barely move, so I already know that it's gonna be the hardest thing that I have to endure. I know that it's gonna be painful.
I really want to leave but I can't 'til I recover or at least get better. It's not just because I can't walk. It's my lungs and the fact that I don't have a spleen anymore. My lungs have to heal and they want to monitor me because my spleen is gone.
I missed basketball. I have never wanted to anymore than to play. I have to be ready for physical therapy. I have no choice.
"It's going to get better." She told me as I was wipin' my face clean from the tears. As soon as we finished, my homeschool tutor came. In three hours and three we worked on English, Science, and trigonometry. I had to stop every thirty minutes for the daily routines.
While I was layin' in the bed, I started to think about Shawn. He's outta school now so I can call him.
"Hello?" He answered after the fifth ring. His voice brought a smile to my face.
"Hey."
"Wassup?"
"Nothin'. Just finished my homework."
"Oh yeah? How was that?"
"Like homework. What are you up to?"
"Uhh, nothin'. Why you ask?"
"I was.. just makin' conversation." I said timidly.
"Oh, I'm just.. chillin'."
"So, I start my physical therapy today. Are you comin'?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know?" I questioned.
"I got some stuff I gotta handle."
"You just said that you were chillin'." I furrowed my brows.
"Til I gotta get up and leave."
"What do you have to do?" I heard voices in the background but I couldn't make out who it was. I didn't even know if it were a guy or a girl.
"Bey, let me call you back."
"Wait! Are you gonna come?"
"I don't know yet, Bey." He said as if he was tired of havin' to explain. I instantly felt bad because of the tone of his voice.
"But it's been a whole week since I've seen you. And you didn't even ask what time my therapy start. You might not even be busy."
"What time does it start?"
"Six thirty."
"I'ma see, aight." I immediately thought back to the night of my basketball game. The game that got me suspended. I thought about how Shawn told his friend, Kyla, I'ma see. I knew that it meant that he wasn't comin'. I sighed and just ended the call. There was no point in tryin' to continue the conversation. He was clearly busy, so wasn't gonna badger him of anything. Just like he said in the car on the way to the airport, guys do what they want to do. If he wanted to, he would. I just don't know why he doesn't want to.
There was a knock on the door, again.
"Hey." Solange entered and closed the door behind her. She's been here every single day. Sometimes she brings Ingrid wit' her. But for the most part she comes alone. She's the only person I don't mind seein' everyday. I'm used to it anyway.
"Hi."
"You've been cryin'?" She questioned. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. What's in the bag?" I asked as she leaned against my bed.
"Snacks. I got some fruit snacks. Want some?"
"Yes!" She laughed at my anxiousness and dug into her bag to get the welches fruit snacks. She ripped two bags open then place one in my hand and the other on my lap.
"Did you get your stitches removed?"
"Not yet."
"You should get a tat to cover the scar it's gonna leave."
"What kinda tattoo could I get that cover this scar?"
"Sarcasm or serious question?"
"Serious question."
"Most women get some type of flower, a bird, or tribal print."
"I like the flower idea."
"You could get it goin' across, like diagonal. Kind of. Like start on your hip and come across. Somehow, the stem of the flower will cover the scar. Something like that."
"I like that, but what kind of flower?"
"Let's google."
"Come up here so I can see."
"In the bed?"
"Yes."
"Wit'chu?"
"There's enough room. You just have to take your shoes off." Solange put her bags at the end of the bed then took her shoes and got in the bed wit' me. She googled scar tattoo cover up and we looked at least a million pictures. We googled different types of flowers.
"Are you really gonna get it covered?"
I haven't decided on which type, but I'm definitely gettin' this covered up. For sure. "Not right away, but I will eventually."
"What about your shoulder and back?"
"Probably not. They're aren't as big. My stomach is gonna look ugly."
"Scars are tattoos wit' a funny, deeper or scarier story." She said.
"A story I'd rather forget." I mumbled.
"True. You start physical therapy today, right?"
"Yeah, you wanna stay wit' me?"
"Yeah, I'll stay. Wanna watch movies until then?"
"Mhm."
"Good because I brought a few with me." Solange hopped down from the bed and went to the small table to grab my laptop. She climbed back in the bed and put in Madea's Family Reunion, the movie. She brought nothing but Madea movies and play. It was kinda hard to watch because we had to stop every thirty minutes. My doctor and nurses would come in to check on me and do my breathin' exercise.
But other than that, I enjoyed sittin' in the bed wit' my sister. I'm happy she came because I was finally able to laugh.