"How against sex before marriage is your grandmother?"
"What?"
"Harlow. Keira said that she's not sticking to the whole no sex before marriage bullshit that your grandmother sprout, so I got to wondering- how against all that stuff is Harlow?"
"Very."
"Very?"
"She's Roman Catholic, you know?"
"Yeah, but... no sex before marriage?"
"Exactly that."
"That must suck."
"Not really."
"Oh, so it's true."
"What is?"
"Strick rules creates sneaky children."
"My mother is French. They're very liberal with sex."
"So, are you, or were you... never mind."
"Am I or was I saving myself for marriage? I think we both know the answer to that question."
"True. But didn't they try to like, make you..."
"My mother didn't care about the whole thing and Dad was too under mum's thumb to say any different. Now Harlow, on the other hand, would make her disapproval of our 'lifestyle choices' known. She's been very vocal about that aspect of our lives."
"Huh."
"Don't you have work to do?"
"I do. But I'm procrastinating."
"Loser."
"Can I ask you something?"
"I don't know, can you?"
"I'll take that as a 'yes.' What did Harlow think when you got pregnant?"
"She kicked off. Threatened to disown me."
"And when you had the miscarriage?"
"She kicked off. Threatened to kill Liam O'Keefe."
"Ah, family. Very strange people."
"You're telling me."
"What does Harlow think of us living together and sleeping together before we're married?"
"She's probably seething on the inside but she loves me enough to know not to say anything out loud. Plus, in her Roman Catholic eyes, I'm already tainted so what's the worse that could happen, right?"
"Tainted?"
"Hey, if this had happened to me in nineteen-fifties Ireland, I'd be in one of those laundry convent things."
"They wouldn't have sent you away, Sophie."
"They would have. I don't think you realise how devout Harlow is."
"But-"
"She would have. Maybe not so much the others but my grandmother would have driven me there herself. Did you know that if I'd been in Ireland when I had my miscarriage, they may not have treated me?"
"What? Why not?"
"Because it is illegal to have an abortion in Ireland."
"But that's not what you-"
"Another word for miscarriage is spontaneous abortion."
"Still."
"It's the way it is. Ireland is still a very religious country. So, for my grandmother, all this stuff is very serious. No sex before marriage."
"Right, so the fact that I'm allowing Keira and Logan to stay here on Saturday is really going to piss her off."
"And that's why you have to be the one to tell her."
"Yeah. I'm starting to regret allowing them to stay."
"Good luck with that."
"I'm fucked. Either way, I am completely fucked. Like a porn star- fucked."
"That's, uh, a very colourful image."
"Yeah."
"You are not going to guilt trip me into telling Harlow on your behalf."
"No?"
"No."
"Damn it."
"Better luck next time. Now, go off to work."
"You spoil all my fun."
"Mhm. Now you know how I feel when you spoil my fun."
"Bore."
"I love you, too."