The Magic That Holds Our Pieces Together
Remus picked up the mirror and stared into it. Sirius's bedroom was empty, the bed made neatly... He'd peeked a couple times before, if he was being honest, being careful not to be seen by Sirius, just wanting to know everything was okay on the other end. This was the first time he'd seen that Sirius had left the mirror alone and he lowered it back down, his hands clutching the invisible birds, feeilng a bit empty behind the chest. So it was official then, he'd pushed Sirius away long enough that Sirius had given up on him. Regret lingered in Remus and he got up and put the birds away in their little cage and went back to the mattress to lie across on his stomach, pressing his face into the pillow.
Bert was frantically peeping. As usual.
The peeping made him sad. He was going to miss all the noise that stupid bird always made, he thought. Annoying as it was, it was his bird.
Just like Sirius was his annoying stupid boyfriend.
And now he'd lost them both.
There came a knock at the observatory door.
"They're in their cage," called Remus. Nobody ever just came in the observatory door, incase the birds were free so they didn't end up with invisible Charkorais birds flying about the laboratory. They'd never find them if they got loose.
Tina Scamander pushed open the door and stuck her head inside. "Mr. Lupin, you've got company."
"Company?" he asked, turning to look at her.
"Yes, Mr. Dumbledore is here to see you," Tina answered.
"Dumbledore?" Remus sat up, "What's he want?"
Tina shrugged, "Dunno, do I? I'm just the messenger. Come along, Mr. Lupin, don't keep your company waiting."
Remus nodded and got up, following Tina Scamander back to the main room of the laboratory. Dumbledore stood there by Newt's table, talking to Ned Veigler, who was showing him something from a notebook and looking quite pleased as Dumbledore rocked from the heel of his foot to the ball of his toes. Dumbledore caught sight of Remus and smiled slowly, then said to Mr. Veigler, "You'll have to come and visit me sometime very soon and we will discuss this matter further and in more detail - but Fallengundur sounds a wonderful place, my boy, and I've the fullest confidence you'll do many marvelous things with it." He patted Veigler's shoulder, then turned to Remus. "Good morning, Mr. Lupin."
"Good morning, sir," Remus answered.
"My - you've gotten taller since I last saw you," Dumbledore said, marveling. "Seems every time I see you or your little friends, you've changed. You should hear Peter Pettigrew - his voice is changing this summer, one minute he's high, the next minute he's low... it's quite strange, the changes our bodies make as we age." He smiled and stroked his beard.
"Yes, sir..." Remus agreed, not sure what else to say.
Dumbledore smiled. "And Sirius Black - he's changed quite a lot as well, hasn't he? Being properly cared for at the Potters has certainly given Mr. Black a certain... healthy glow."
Remus nodded, casting his eyes to the floor at the thought of Sirius.
Dumbledore took a deep breath, "Well, enough talk of changes. I have something for you."
"Something for me?"
"Yes, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore nodded, "If you would come with me...?"
Remus nodded and followed Dumbledore to the ladder, curious as he gripped the rungs and followed him up and out of the briefcase.
It was the first time since the full moon that Remus had been out of the briefcase - the sun was bright coming through the window of the room - much brighter than the magical artificial lighting in the briefcase laboratory, and he squinted against it, trying to adjust his eyes to the light... He was still blindly blinking when he felt weight smack into him and arms wrap 'round him, tight and he recognized the smell and he felt Sirius's hair against his cheek and his face buried in his neck, warm and wet with salty tears.
"I'm sorry, Moony, I'm sorry," Sirius's voice was thick.
Remus brought his hands up - initially meaning to push Sirius away, but instead the moment they reached Sirius's biceps... Remus melted into him. He pulled Sirius closer instead and closed his eyes, just feeling Sirius's grip around him. It was as though nothing else in all the world existed to Remus then.
"Perhaps we should let them alone for a time," murmured Dumbledore. He looked to James, "Your mother must be worried sick about you. Let us return both of the things Mr. Black has stolen tonight to their proper places, shall we?"
"Borrowed, sir," James said quietly, "We only borrowed the motorbike."
"Ah yes, but borrowing without permission is still stealing," and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.
James muttered, "I tried to tell him that... but you know Sirius... he doesn't listen..."
A smirk played on Dumbledore's lips.
James looked over at Sirius and Remus, then, and he couldn't help but feel like he'd done the right thing, even if it had included stealing a motorbike. Sirius had been so broken and there he was, being mended right before James's very eyes. Remus fixed all the shattered bits just by holding Sirius in his arms. James had given Sirius a hug, of course, but it hadn't worked like this one did. It was a sort of magic that couldn't be explained... and James wished he had that sort of power, that he could mend a broken heart just by holding it in his hands the way Remus Lupin could.
That's what love is, James thought. It's the magic that holds our pieces together.
Quietly, Dumbledore turned to Newt Scamander, "You do not mind if I leave Mr. Black with you for a day or two?"
Newt Scamander glanced at the two boys, who hardly looked separable. "I think that, uh, should be alright. We'll bring him along - we're, uh, going to - to release the Charkorais birds in Cairo. Tomorrow. If that's, uh, alright, Mr. Dumbledore?"
"Very good. I should think Mr. Black would enjoy such an adventure as that." Dumbledore looked at James and held out his elbow. "Come along, Mr. Potter. Your mother will be quite relieved to find you're in one piece... as will the owner of that motorbike."
With a crack, they were gone... and Newt Scamander climbed carefully into the briefcase, leaving Remus and Sirius quite alone in the room.
Remus started to pull away, wanting to talk to Sirius, but Sirius gripped him tighter at the feeling of Rey's arms loosening. "No. Please. Don't let me go," Sirius begged. "Don't." And Remus knew that Sirius didn't just mean from their hug. He started to answer Sirius, but Sirius barrelled on, "I've never been loved properly before, I dunno how it works. I'm not very good at it... I want to be better, but I'm gonna mess up sometimes like I've just done, but I don't mean to. I didn't mean what I said, not the way it came out. I love you so very much, you keep me sane when I feel like I'm falling apart at the seams. You're the first person that's ever loved me, Remus Lupin. Please, don't give up on me."
Remus rubbed his back softly, then pulled away, holding him out at arm's length to stare into his eyes, "Aw, Padfoot... Come now, you can't possibly think that I ever stopped loving you for even a moment, did you?"
"I didn't know," whispered Sirius, hanging his head, his hair falling over his ear... into his face a bit. "People I thought loved me have stopped before."
Remus lifted his chin up. Sirius had never seemed so... small... before. But then, Remus had grown again, and Sirius still had not... The top of Sirius's head only just reached Remus's nose. Sirius stared up at him, wall wet-eyed and vulnerable and Remus was reminded of the Charkorais chicks when they'd first hatched, when they were alone, afraid, and in danger of dying without moonlight. A lump caught in his throat at the thought that he, Remus Lupin, was the moonlight for both of them - the birds and maybe for Sirius too.
"Not me," Remus replied. "Never me."
Sirius shivered with reverence for the words and he stared up into Remus's face.
"I'll always be your Moony," Remus promised. And he gently slid his hands across Sirius's face, cupping his features carefully, and leaned forward to kiss him - first on the forehead, then his nose, and then his mouth. Sirius closed his eyes. "You'll always be my Padfoot, yeah?" Remus asked.
Sirius nodded solemnly.
Remus smiled, "Then I reckon neither of us ever needs to worry about it again. As long as we are alive."
Sirius opened his eyes and stared up at Remus. "That's an awfully long time," he said in a playfully warning tone, "Are you certain that you want me around for that long?"
Remus nodded just as solemnly as Sirius had a moment before.
Sirius stepped forward quickly and pressed himself into Remus again. "It's just so easy to forget how incredibly patient you are with me sometimes, Moony," he said thickly.
Remus hesitated and then he pulled back again and he said, "Well... well maybe... maybe you need something to remind you." He walked over to the bed in the corner of the room and he sat on the edge of it. Sirius sat beside him, curious as Remus reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a black cord... on it, he'd strung his parents rings. Remus carefully untied the cord and pulled off his father's ring and he stared at it a moment, turning it over in his hand a few times before he looked up at Sirius, "I mean, obviously, it doesn't mean we're - you know, married or anything... but..." he held the ring out to Sirius. "Maybe if you have this, it'll... it'll help you remember I'm not going to give up on you. Whenever you think I might, you just stop and you look at that and you feel it's weight and you'll remember. Yeah?"
Sirius took the ring and he slid it over the large knuckles of his finger and he nodded, very solemnly once again, and he felt a lump rise up in his throat and it was quite hard to speak around it, so he sounded quite thick and funny when he said, "Yeah. I will. I'll remember."