Zayn does a pretty good job of pretending Wednesday's coffee not-date didn't happen. He busies himself by visiting his mum on a whim that has her beaming and clinging to his hand for over an hour before she starts cooking all his favourite foods. Zayn even lets her drag him shopping for half an hour so he can buy Waliyha's present and leave it at his mum's house because he's going to be away on a shoot for her birthday.
On Friday, he wakes up late and potters around the house. He sketches a bit and works on some personal projects and counts down the days until he can start work again. He's got a project up in Scotland doing a series for an online photographic library but he's still got to get through the weekend before he heads up there with Harry. Who is currently calling him.
"Zaaaayn we're all going out tonight, you can come right?" Harry's half-yelling down the phone for some reason.
"I don't think I can," Zayn tries to say but Harry's talking over him.
"Yes you can, Zayn, you haven't been busy on a Friday night since I met you," Harry says quite accurately. "C'mon, you like everyone right?"
"Fine," he says reluctantly. "But you're buying the first round."
"Yes!" Harry cheers happily. "Meet us there around eight."
"That's early," Zayn says in surprise.
"Liam and Louis have an early shift tomorrow," Harry explains. "Just be there, okay? Promise me?"
"I promise," Zayn grumbles.
By eight o'clock, he's convinced himself that this is a good idea. He can go to the bar and talk to Liam normally and he can start to get over this hopeless crush. He's made an effort tonight in a black fitted shirt and jeans and his favourite silver necklace hanging down low. He's twisted his hair just the way he likes it best and he finishes the outfit off with a leather jacket. When he strolls into the bar, he's actually feeling pretty good about everything.
Right up until he sees Liam first, standing at the bar and chatting to a guy next to him. Liam's wearing a dark blue shirt over a white vest with blue jeans that hang dangerously low on his hips. His shirt sleeves are rolled back and Zayn hates himself for feeling that familiar pull low in his belly that Liam seems to be able to generate inside of Zayn without even trying.
Zayn moves towards the rest of the boys, sliding into the empty seat next to Niall.
"Hey, you made it!" Harry says, leaning over Niall to drag Zayn in for a hug.
"And you owe me a drink," Zayn returns with a grin. He's determined to have fun tonight if it kills him.
"Next round," Harry promises. "Liam's at the bar, go let him know you're here!"
Zayn doesn't exactly want to but it's as good a place to start as anywhere. He hasn't heard from Liam since Wednesday but it's not like he's contacted Liam either. So he takes a deep breath and heads over to Liam, tapping him on the shoulder and not feeling guilty at all about interrupting Liam's conversation with the guy he's still talking to.
"Zayn!" Liam's face lights up when he turns to see him. "You came!"
"Why does everyone doubt me?" Zayn grumbles but he's smiling all the same. He watches the guy next to Liam throw him a wry smile before he moves away and Zayn slots into his space. "Beer please, fireman Liam."
Liam's grin widens as he turns to the bartender and adds Zayn's drink to his order. "Hey, so how've you been?"
"Good," Zayn says. This is fine. He can do this. He can have a normal conversation with Liam and it not be weird. So he tells Liam about his visit home and missing his sisters birthday. They make it back to the table with the drinks and Zayn's stopped worrying that this is going to be awkward. It's fine. He can totally do this.
He even sits next to Liam and they talk and laugh and Liam leans into him and it's all fine. Except that Zayn needs to get away from Liam before he embarrasses himself because Liam smells so good and he's grinning lopsidedly at Zayn and god this is what got him into trouble in the first place. So he excuses himself and heads to the loos to splash water on his face and cool off.
On his way back, he detours by the bar and orders himself a shot because he's not drunk enough for this. He then decides it'd be a better idea to order two more shots and knock them back in succession.
And when the girl next to him smiles up at him, Zayn smiles back because why the fuck not. She's cute with sharp blue eyes and blonde hair that reminds him of Perrie and she has distraction written all over her.
Zayn offers to buy her a drink.
And five minutes later, she's leading him out to the dancefloor because those shots have hit Zayn hard and he's drunk enough to let her. He catches Harry's eye on the way and winks at him. Harry frowns but Zayn's being pulled away before he can wonder at it. The girl, god he can't even remember her name, winds herself around him and he settles his hands on her hips, his touch light even as she presses her low-cut cleavage against his chest. And he tries. He really does try to distract himself with this pretty girl who's clearly sending him positive signals. Zayn lets her snake her arms around his neck and he closes his eyes, desperately wishing he felt something other than disinterest.
When the song ends, she presses a lingering kiss on his cheek and walks away, leaving Zayn to wander back to the table.
"Who was that?" Harry asks when he stumbles into his chair.
He shoots Harry a grin that feels forced. "Just a girl. Cute, right?"
"Yeah," Harry says, and that frown is back to mar his expression. Harry's eyes flicker towards Liam and Zayn reaches for his untouched beer and downs half of it in one long swallow.
"So what did I miss?" Zayn asks brightly.
"Nothing much," Louis says, leaning into Zayn's side and wrapping his hand around Zayn's arm. His grip feels heavy, like he's pinning Zayn in place. "Tell us what you've been up to, Zayn."
"Uh, just work and visiting home," Zayn says, scratching idly at his collarbone. "Nothing much."
"Sounds like fun," Louis says wistfully before Liam drags him into a cuddle.
"Ignore him, he gets homesick if he doesn't see his mum and sisters for a while," Liam says with a smile that doesn't seem to quite reach his eyes.
Zayn leans towards him without really realising what he's doing. "My mum cooked all my favourite foods and now I've got a freezer full of meals to last me through the apocalypse."
Liam's smile is a bit shy and a bit unsure but it's there. "My mum sends me food in the post sometimes," Liam admits. "And she sends me her Tesco vouchers."
Zayn grins and soon the three of them are trying to out-do each other in the over-protective mum category. Zayn thinks it's probably a tie.
"Must be my round," Zayn says when he picks up his beer to find it empty. "Same again?"
There's a chorus of cheers and Zayn weaves his way slowly to the bar. He gives his order and leans back against the bar, feeling a little dizzy and wondering if maybe he should slow down or get some water.
"Hi."
Zayn opens his eyes to see a cute guy smiling at him. He's young, but not too young Zayn notes and he's checking Zayn out.
"Hi," Zayn murmurs with a smile.
"Can I buy you a drink?" the guy asks just as Zayn's order arrives on the bar. "Oh," the guy says with an embarrassed laugh. "Maybe next time, right?"
Zayn hands over his change to the bartender before he turns back to the guy and cocks his head thoughtfully. Maybe, he thinks a bit desperately. Maybe this will work.
"Wait here, okay?" Zayn says, letting his hand drift over the guy's hand where it's resting on the bar.
He scoops up the bottles and turns to find Liam standing there, glancing at Zayn and then behind him before he looks back at Zayn. There's an odd look in his eyes that Zayn doesn't recognise. Embarrassed and slightly panicked, Zayn shoves four of the beers into Liam's hands. "Mate, can you take those back to the table? I've uh, I'm just chatting to someone, yeah?"
"Sure," Liam says slowly. He looks back over Zayn's shoulder before he turns away, shoulders hunched a little and Zayn watches him disappear into the crowd.
"Hey, are you like, with him?" the guy asks, sounding apologetic. "Sorry, man."
"Oh no, we're not together," Zayn says. If it comes out a little sad, then the guy is kind enough not to mention it. Instead he smiles and Zayn finds himself moving forward until he's pressed up a little too close to the guy whose name he doesn't know. They're chest to chest and he's cute, and apparently nice too and Zayn tries to imagine kissing him. He tries to picture them grinding against each other and all he can think about is Liam. Liam walking away from him.
Liam, who's not interested in him.
He's a fucking glutton for punishment and he needs to stop thinking about the guy who doesn't want him and start thinking about the cute boy right in front of him who does want him.
*
Zayn's been on the dancefloor more than he's been at the table tonight. In his defence, he knows he's being a dick. He's danced with girls and guys and all he can think about is Liam.
It's messing with his drunken mind.
"Come back to mine?" the girl he's dancing with yells into his ear. Zayn wishes he could. Zayn wishes more than anything that he could say yes and go back to hers and bury himself in her until he can't remember his own name, let alone Liam's.
He moves back just a little and he brushes a kiss against her cheek. "Sorry," he murmurs before he steps back and moves through sweaty bodies, feeling dizzy and drunk and miserable. He's barely spoken to the guys all night and he wouldn't blame them if they'd gone and left him there. But he spies the table and they're all there, although Liam and Louis are on their feet and Louis' got his arm slung around Liam's waist, resting his head on Liam's shoulder.
"Hey," Zayn says. He gratefully takes the glass of water Harry pushes into his hand and downs the whole glass in one go.
"Looked like you were having fun out there," Harry says. There's an edge to his voice that makes Zayn bristle and he drops the glass down a bit too heavily on the table.
"Yeah, I was," Zayn says flatly. He's glaring at Harry and Harry's glaring right back at him and Zayn doesn't even know why. His head is pounding and he kind of wants to throw up.
There's movement to his left and Zayn turns to see Liam shrugging into his jacket. He looks upset for some reason and Zayn's first instinct is to move towards him, to throw his arms open and hug Liam until he smiles again.
But he's drunk and he's got a stupid crush on Liam and if he takes another step towards him, Zayn's going to totally embarrass himself. So he holds himself rigid, wrapping his arms around himself protectively and watches as Liam stumbles away from the table.
"Sorry, I've got to go," Liam says. His voice sounds rough and Zayn wonders if he's been smoking. Sometimes his own voice gets really raspy when he's had too many cigarettes. "Got work in the morning, haven't I."
"Yeah, I should go too," Louis says quickly and grabs his own coat before he turns to Zayn. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out because Liam's slapped his hand over it.
"C'mon Lou," Liam says and Zayn must be really drunk because Liam sounds a bit desperate. "Bye guys."
Liam doesn't look at him and Zayn feels so, so sick.
They leave without another word and Zayn's left swaying slightly as he stares after Liam.
"What is wrong with you?" Harry hisses, grabbing at Zayn's arm a little too hard. Zayn thinks he might bruise.
"You're kind of a dick, mate," Niall says, sounding confused.
"Yeah, I know," Zayn says, suddenly unable to stand up any longer. He sinks down into the chair and covers his face with his hands. "Harry, can you take me home?"
There's a loud, annoyed sigh but then an arm curls around his shoulders and Zayn turns to bury his head into Harry's shoulder. "Yeah mate. We'll take you home."
Zayn lets them guide him out of the bar and he clings to Harry's hand the entire way.
*