I decided to make a "different" approach for an epilogue. Quite sad but happy at the same time. Sorry for the late update, supposedly dapat last last sunday pa 'to. Pasensya na po. I've been listening to Say you won't let go so ang sad ng approach ng epilogue na ito. Aw.
The letter and the flashbacks are in Luhan's POV but at the ending (present) magiiba sya.
Lame ang ending na to, pasensya na.
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Hansol.
When Xiao was only 8 months old, you were crying really hard kasi gusto mo sya buhatin. So we decided na ipahawak sya sayo. Tulog si Xiao habang nakaupo ka sa kama at hawak sya. You were holding at him gently like what we told you to, you were smiling from ear to ear, stiffling a giggle not to wake him up. Your sister was so jealous. Oh well, you know Luna.
I could still remember it vividly like it was only yesterday. The reason why I'm bringing this up is for you to always be reminded to take care of your brother like the first time you held him, and be patient with your twin sister. Baliw lang yun parang mga bestfriend ko. xx
Like what your Dad said, marry someone who'll ride life with you like a roller coaster. Yung taong hindi ka bibitawan, and I hope, I could still see her walk down the aile. I hope.
"Nangangawit ka na ba?" Sehun asked.
Umiling si Hansol pero alam kong ngawit na sya eh, ayaw nya lang kunin namin si Xiao. Hansol is more mature now but still not as talkative as his sister plus he already know how to read while si Luna, struggling. Ang tamad kasi ng batang yun. Kapag magaaral na kami, inaantok na sya pero kung kainan na eh, mas mabilis pa talaga sya kay Flash.
"Hello world!" bati ni Luna at nakita nyang buhat ni Hansol si Xiao, "Hala! Ako din!"
"No, hindi pwede. Magaral ka munang magbasa. Malapit ka ng maggrade one. Alam mo lang basahin panget. Hindi ka nagimprove!" sabi ko at naglupasay agad sya sa sahig, "Linisin mo yang sahig, sige. Maganda yan. Push mo yan gurl." umikot-ikot si Luna sa sahig na tila living mop. Kanto sa kanto, nilampaso nya habang umiiyak sya.
Pinigilan sya ni Sehun at binuhat, "Ang ibig sabihin ni Eomma, sa susunod ka na. Baka kasi magising si Xiao. Tignan mo, tulog na tulog sya 'di ba?" tinignan ni Luna si Xiao.
"Ok. Pagdilat na po sya."
"Kaya maligo ka na muna. Punta ka kay Yaya Mae." utos ni Sehun bago ibinaba si Luna, "Then feed the fish. Ok?" ngumiti naman ng malapad si Luna dahil sa deal ni Sehun. Bumili kasi sya ng aquarium. Hindi naman kalakihan. Kukutusan ko sya kung sing taas ng pader yun. Sabi nya eh, proven daw na may medical benefits kung tititigan yun ng sampung minuto. Jusko. More like, iniispoil lang nya dahil gusto ng kambal ng aquarium. Naghanap pa talaga ng dahilan.
"I'll feed them too!" Hansol said.
"Edi akin na si Xiao." sabi ko at kinuha si Xiao kay Hansol, "Maligo na muna!" at dali dali silang nagunahan ni Luna. Napailing nalang ako kasi walang time na hindi sila nagkakarerahan kung sino ang mauuna. Walang gustong magpatalo lalo na kung gusto nilang pareho. Ano ng mangyayari kung tatlo na silang damulag? But Sehun would always lecture them the value of sharing. Nakikinig naman sila eh lalo na kung si Sehun talaga ang sisita sa kanila.
Sehun handed enough fish feeds after ng bath session. The twins giggled loudly as they watched the fish, nagising si Xiao sa hagikhik nila pero hindi sya agad umiyak. Hinanap nya lang sa room kung saan ang ingay na yun, blinking his cute eyes in such amusement. Nakakatawa kasi ang tawa ni Luna. Parang ang sarap ng tawa nya. Nang malaman ng kambal na gising na si Xiao ay nagunahan na naman sila sa pagentertain.
Sehun and I shook our head.
Luna.
Hindi ka maganda. Wag kang assuming. Maappeal ka lang. Wag mong agawin ang korona ni Jessy at baka makalbo ka. Okay lang yan, ipaubaya mo nalang si Asher sa kanya, kung gusto mo pang mabuhay. Ok? Ang cute mo nung bata ka pa, pero ngayon acute ka na! You were our source of daily happiness. That sweet kid is now finally a grown up. Surely, time do really fly fast.
Sometimes I wished the three of you will stop growing so you don't have to face the troubles and struggles of life. I want to see your innocent smiles again, that moment when you still don't know what love is but soon.. you will move out of the house to be with someone else. I hope I could see that.
I truly hope to see the love in your eyes.
"Bakit ganyan suot mo?!"
"Ano ba dapat ko suotin? Gown? Si Kuya Hanse lang naman susunduin natin dun. Isa pa, fashion po 'to, eomma. Fashion!"
"Ang ikli ikli ikli ikli nyan! Saka sira na yung tahi! Ipaayos mo muna!" sigaw ko.
"OA ma ah, ikli lang saka style po talaga yan parang ripped jeans." sagot ni Luna.
"So ripped pekpek shorts?"
"Appa oh!" pagdadabog ni Luna at tinakbo agad si Sehun sa gilid na natatawa lang sa aming dalawa, "I need to wear this. Isa po 'to sa ineendorse kong clothing line. Tell eomma how important that is. Please?"
"Hayaan mo na hon." napatingin si Sehun sa relos nya, "Malelate tayo. Saka matagal magbihis si Luna if nothing goes well with her shirt. Isa pa," nilingon nya si Hansol na tahimik na nakatayo sa gilid, "ayaw na ayaw ni Hansol na nagaantay. So the end. Come on, Xiao!" agad na tumayo naman si Xiao sa couch na nauna pa sa aming lahat. Wala nga syang reklamo, basta makapaglaro lang sya.
"Dad, hyung will be staying again this summer?" tumango si Sehun, "Yehey! I have now my amulet. Hindi nyo na ako pwede ibully, lagot kayo kay hyunggie."
"Xiaolin soccer ka kasi," asar ni Luna.
"Say that again and you're dead."
"Hey, cut it off!" sabad ni Hansol.
"Mr. Sungit. Dad, tinatakot ni Hansol mga girls sa school! Pinapaiyak nya pa iba dun oh, akala nya ang gwapo gwapo nya. Duh. At saan banda sa baba nya?" asar ni Luna.
"Wag kang hard sa baba, nasasaktan ang tatay mo." sabi ko at nagtawanan sila, "But bawi naman sya sa isang baba nya. Hihi!"
"Ma naman! Bata pa si Xiao!"
Binatukan ni Sehun si Luna, "At ikaw din. Bawal ang boyfriend. Ipapasalvage ko."
"Ako bahala, Dad." sabi ni Hansol.
"Look out din po ako." sabi ni Xiao at bago sila nagapir ni Hansol. Hala, bakod na bakod.
Nagcross lang ng arms si Luna. Papalabas na sana kami nang makasalubong namin si Boy Jessy. Haha. Ang baho. Kasama nya si Asher na hanggang ngayon ay bulag pa rin na bakla si Jesper. Tutuklawin na sya eh, di pa rin nya makuhang crush nya ni Boy Jessy. Kakaloka.
"Sasama kayo?" tanong ni Luna.
"Ay hindi. Kami po ang magbabantay sa bahay nyo." pagtataray ni Jesper pero wag ka, friendlalu sila ni Luna. "Sama kami ni BRO Asher," siniko nya pa si Asher na ang lagkit ng tingin kay Luna, "BRO, masakit."
"Luna, ang ganda mo." sabi ni Asher.
"Duh, sa pic lang kaya," bulong ni Jessy.
"San nanay mo Jes?" tanong ko.
"Naghoneymoon, nasa IRAQ."
Putanginang honeymoon yan, baka biglang may bombahan dun. Napailing nalang ako bago kami pumasok sa van para sunduin si Hanse. Tumutuloy sa amin si Hanse tuwing summer, minsan winter break. Si Yna, she's already married to a business man. And this time, nahanap na nya ang para sa kanya, na tanggap sya kahit na hindi na sya pwedeng magkababy. Everyone of us are truly happy.
"I want to have a happy marriage life like this." Luna blurted out, spreading her arms and locking it to her brother's neck, "I'm so glad, I was born in this family. I love you bros dami dami! Mwah! Mwah!" sabi nya.
"Ew!" parehong sabi ni Xiao at Hansol.
"I LOVE YOU DIN BRO ASHER!"
Napatingin kami lahat kay Jesper.
"BRO, WAG BRO. Bata pa ako."
Tangina ni Asher, pabebe. XD
Xiao.
When you came, you bind us even more tighter. Ikaw naging daan bat naging okay ang lahat.. Sehun gained strength to come back because of you, that's why you were everyone's favorite. Sehun spoiled you so much that I just want to hit his head again and again. When you were just four years old, you were as stubborn as Sehun. Kami at ang kambal lang ang gusto mo kausapin nun eh.
I prayed for just a little time so I could be there for you, to help you stand up when you fall. Take care of your father for me, my son. Even if I won't no longer be there, you know that I am just watching from somewhere...
"Hello, Xiao." bati ni Baekhyun.
Sumiksik lang si Xiao sa pinakadulo ng sofa habang iniinom ang chocolate milk drink na favorite nya. "Hello, Xiao. Happy birthday. Ako si Kyungsoo, bestfriend ng nanay mo. Pag di ka naghello sa akin, wala ka gift!"
Dedma pa rin si Xiao.
"Hanep 'tong bunso mo, usa! Kailangan atang hulugan ng piso bago sumagot eh! Teka may piso ako dito." sabi ni Baekhyun at naghanap ng piso sa bulsa nya at inabot kay Xiao, "Hello Xiao, ako si Baekhyun."
Kinuha ni Xiao yung piso.
Pero... Dedma pa rin sya.
"Usa! Bingi ata si Xiao."
"Di ako bingi. Ayoko utap tayo."
"Bakit ayaw mo utap akin?" tanong pa ni Baekhyun na ginaya ang pananalita ni Xiao.
"Panget ka." sagot ni Xiao.
"Papa bear, panget daw ako."
Sinapo ni Chanyeol ang mukha ni Baekhyun na akala mo scene sa isang romantic movie. Naparolyo tuloy ng mata si Kyungsoo, "You are the most beautiful love," sulsol pa nito.
"Omg. Thank you sunbaenim!"
Binatukan ko si Baekhyun.
"Asawa mo yan, gaga." sabi ko.
"Hoy Chanyeol, binibilog mo ulo nyang si bichon. Hindi marunong magsinungaling ang bata, tandaan mo yan! Eh ako, Xiao," binalingan ulit ni Kyungsoo si Xiao, "Bakit ayaw mo ako kausapin?" kalmado pa sya.
"Laki mata mo." sagot ni Xiao.
"Oo alam ko! Asset ko yan! Nahulog sa akin si Jongin dahil sa mga matang yan. Suko na ako dito ah, baby wipes nalang susunod na ireregalo ko dito." sabi nya.
Natawa nalang ako, "Xiao, batiin mo sila. Bestfriends sila ni eomma." Sehun said.
"No, they're taying bad wordt!"
"And what did they say?" i asked.
"I'M LIKE TITI DAW!" sabi ni Xiao.
Tawa kami nang tawa dahil kay Xiao.
"Ang cute ni bunso," sabi ni Sehun.
Xiao was quite stubborn, kanino pa ba sya magmamana? And yet, our sweetest kid.
[Play the song if you want.:)]
Sehun.
Seeing us today, you've definitely proven I made the right choice. When we parted ways the first time, I lost myself too. When we met again, you gave it back to me pieces by pieces. Our story is not something I have expected, I didn't thought loving someone could be that challenging but it was the best story I wanted to tell everyone. You became my torch who brightens up the dark and looking into your eyes, I no longer need words, it spoke many things, and it was more than enough for me.
Relationship means lifting each other up, and we made It, Sehun. But now, I won't be able to stand up with you again against the storm. I have to go, and I have no regrets. I finally got the chance to share my everydays with you and our kids, even if it's too short. I wanted to stay with you until we're grey and old but then my journey is only up until here.
Don't be sad, I'll be watching.
I could still remember when we first met. You're wearing a white suit for the filming. You looked really handsome back then, and I never knew that that man would be mine; to keep and to cherish. We've come so far, my love. I love you, Oh Sehun. Remember that.
"Luhan," Xiao read.
Dahan-dahan akong napatingin sa bintana when a cold wind blew in, "I felt so young everytime you read me his letter to us."
"Don't you think it's time to finally let go of these, Dad?" Xiao said and I glanced at him for a few seconds, "It has been a long time. 20 years since mom died. And you want me to.. read this every single day."
20 years without Luhan.
20 years of dying everyday.
Muli ay tumitig lang ako sa kanya habang nakahiga ako sa kama. My hair is already white and I can't no longer walk properly. Lagi nalang akong nakahiga sa kama ko as I wait for Lu Han to take me, I missed him. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the last time I spent with him. That very last.
Binuhat ko si Luhan hanggang sa makarating kami sa tabi ng lake katulad ng huling request nya sa akin at umupo kami sa may ilalim ng puno, watching the calm water in front of us. Luhan's wearing a bonnet. Dahil sa tindi ng chemotherapy, he's losing his beautiful hair. He gently leaned his head on my shoulder.
"I left some letters in my drawer."
"Letters?" I almost whispered.
"For the kids, you and to someone if you ever get married again, Sehun." sabi nya bago pa humigpit ang kapit nya sa braso ko.
"I'm too old for that. I'm already in my fifties, Luhan. Don't say that because I only wanted to be with you until we're grey and old. You promised, you'll live. You'll endure, you'll make it, Luhan."
Luhan smiled, "Ok." His reply was so short before he leaned even closer to me, "I feel sleepy, Sehun." he whispered so weakly. I wanted to wake him up, to make him say things even if it's nonsense as long as I can still hear his voice. I feel so scared everytime he's so quiet. I held his hand tightly, nervously.
"I love you," I whispered in his ears, "I know you already know that but I don't want to whisper it in your heart but in your soul, take it with you when you go." I leaned my head on his head as I let the silence eat us.
Tapos..
Hindi na nagising si Luhan nun.
That was my last time with him.
"Dad? Dad?" Xiao called softly.
"Then, put it in a box, my son. Even if you keep it away, my memory with Luhan will stay here, forever." I pointed out my heart.
"JOON!" narinig kong tawag ni Hansol at kasunod nun pumasok ang tatlong bata. Si Eun, Joon at Hye. "Luna bilisan mo! Ikaw lang nagpatagal sa byahe eh. Yung anak mo!" singhal ni Hansol sa kapatid nya. Si Joon at Hye ay apo ko kay Luna habang si Eun at ang buhat ni Hansol na si Hae Ri na four months palang ay kay Hansol. Si Hera naman ay nagiisang anak ni Hanse. Umuwi sila para sa kasal ni Xiao at sa anniversary naman ni Luhan which is two weeks after.
Luhan, we're all finally together.
"Oo na! Nabali heels ko eh!"
"Sino ba kasi nagsabing magheels ka eh? Mas makulit pa sa panda anak mo." sabi naman ni Hansol at natawa nalang ako. As I glance at them, I remembered their fights when they're still kids. Ang bilis ng panahon.
"Paki mo ba? Dad oh."
"Di na kayo nagbago." Xiao said, "Hyung, ipabasa mo na kay dad letter ni eomma."
Napakamot sa batok si Hanse, "Nothing much, Dad. He explained everything."
"Lolo baba!" bati ni Hye.
Hye resembles Luna a lot when she's still a kid. Joon and Eun are like Hansol and Xiao. Binuhat ni Xiao si Hye na pilit umaakyat sa kama para tumabi sa akin. "How's Mom?"
"Iyak. Wawa. Sabog. Wasak."
"Sabog naman lagi si Luna." sabi ni Xiao.
Natawa ako at napatingin kay Luna, "He'll come back, I'm sure he will." I told her.
"He's not you, dad." Luna said.
"But I know, he genuinely loves you."
Hindi na sumagot si Luna. That night, we spent it like the usual, yun lang ay wala si Luhan. Naging busy ang sumunod na araw dahil sa kasal ni Xiao, and it was successful. Hanse guided me back to my bed kahit na hindi pa tapos ang reception. The reception was organized near the lake, Xiao wanted it.
He said Luhan will be there.
"Hanse," tawag ko.
It took him a few seconds to respond.
"He wants me to look after you. And why you can't always be there for me." aniya. Hanse smiled, "I get it, Dad. I'm married." simple words yet comforting for me, I know marami akong pagkukulang kay Hanse and just a few visits didn't fill it. "So rest now."
Tumango lang ako.
Napatingin ako sa pinto at napansin kong sumilip si Hye. "Goodnight, lolo baba."
"Goodnight apo." I whispered.
Ngumiti ako. That night, I felt so happy and words aren't enough too explain how much. I saw Luhan in my dreams, he was smiling. Those smiles he always showed me, his eyes were sparkling like fireworks in July like how I remembered it. His lips are now red, his skin was no longer pale, his hair grew back; black and shining. He extended his hand which I gladly took, smiling at him.
"Luhan. I missed you."
"I missed you too, Sehun."
".....will you take me now?"
Luhan smiled and he hugged me.
Cold wind blew in and when I turned my head, I saw my body lying on the bed. I felt so cold but Luhan's smiles gave me warmth, warmth to stop the winter when he left me. Dust in the wind, everyone will be like that one day, despite your status in life. Living your life the way you want it to be, for it's better to regret about the things you have done than to regret for not living life at all.
I'm satisfied, I spent it with Luhan.
Our story was full hurdles and pain but we slayed all the dragons to be together. I often wonder how would it be if we didn't fight? If he didn't forgive me, if i let him go? Mali na ginulo ko pa sya, nagpumilit ako pero nung ginulo ulit, unexpectedly nabuo ang puzzle.
"Sehun," Luhan called.
"Hm?" I hummed as an answer.
"In our next life, I will still choose you. I will still fall for you," Luhan held my hand, squeezing it, "and... I will still marry you."
"Thank you for loving me, luhan." I said before hugging him, "If you can choose, what do you want to change?" tanong ko.
"Nothing. Just as it is."
"Nothing?" nangunot ang noo ko.
"Just because it's hard and painful doesn't mean it's unpleasant. Love is a battlefield. So it's either we fight and get hurt or just surrender. Our scars are beautiful for it reminds me how much you love me. That is how I see it now, Sehun. So... nothing."
I stayed quiet.
"What screws us most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be but relatioship isn't as easy as we thought it would be. Love is not perfect." Luhan said
Love is a maze, a puzzle.
I smiled.
"Which part do you want go back to?"
"The day you said you love me."
I kissed his forehead.
"I love you, Always will."
Indeed, life is like an empty canvas. One day, someone will come to paint it. Black, blue, yellow, all the colors of emotions and that will be the portrait of your true happiness.
Our lifetime ends here but..
Forever exist in memories.
And it's starting now in paradise.
- We exist temporarily to what we take but we live forever to what we give -
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Please take time to read this..
I know, it's super lame, forgive me.
Thank you to everyone who supported DWOS trilogy. Ito ang biggest achievement ko. Trilogy seriously?! Naghiatus ako kada book, and I'm glad some are still waiting for it until this very moment. Thank you guys. Thank you for believing, for supporting me and my works. Ito yung pinakamahabang Epilogue na nagawa ko kahit Luhan died, Sehun made it alone pero may afterlife pa.
Sana nagustuhan nyo.
This will be the last story na gagawin at tatapusin ko so thank you to everyone who considered me as their friend, eonni, mom and whatsoever. I enjoyed talking with you guys. Take care and godbless chingus!😘😍