"Oh my gods of Olympus on high, is that Adrien Agreste?"
It was roughly fifteen seconds later, when I had thrown my suitcases onto the makeshift bed in Marinette's room and plopped open my laptop, sitting down on the bed in the process. Alya, Marinette, and Adrien arranged themselves behind me.
"Shadi." I waved enthusiastically. "Hi."
"We're all here." Amy yelled from somewhere off-screen. "I'm making popcorn."
"Hey, Amy." I grinned.
"Answer my question!" Shadi insisted. "Is that Adrien Agreste?"
"Yes, it's Adrien Agreste." I rolled my eyes. "Say hi to Shadi, Adrien."
"Hey, Shadi." Adrien waved.
Shadi turned pale and excused herself. I laughed as Lacey took over the screen and began her usual rapid-fire questions: Did you see the Eiffel tower? Are Adrien and Marinette dating? Is modeling difficult? Are you super rich? Are you coming back to Texas? When can we visit?
"Do you remember Lane and Bloomer?" Amy flew past the screen to adjust it, then sat on the couch. I deduced that this meant that the computer was hooked up to the TV.
"Ugh, those two lovebirds." I groaned. "So annoying!"
"They broke up because Bloomer tried to cheat on her with May and she said nuh-uh!" Lacey snapped her fingers. "Now he's going to have a reputation for the whole year as the guy who cheated on Lane!"
"Mmm." I shook my head disapprovingly. "I always knew that boy was up to something. Remember when he asked me out two years ago?"
"And you were a boy?" Hysterical laughter erupted from Shadi, who appeared back on-screen. "Everyone assumed Bloomer was gay!"
"I'm Alya." Alya inserted herself into the conversation. "Marinette's best friend, runner of the Ladyblog, rocker of glasses, and bringer-together of Adrienette - which, may I add, was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"Ladyblog?" Shadi leaned forward eagerly. "Is that some sort of fashion thing?"
"Sort of." Alya chuckled. "It's based off of our superhero, ladybug. She's amazing! I'll pull up pictures..." Alya breezed through her phone, rivaling even Shadi with her speed and ease navigating the electronic. In only a few seconds, she had pulled up a few pictures of a humanoid Ladybug and held it close to my face. And in a split second, I had pretty much flown across the room. Marinette looked offended.
"Sel has a mortal fear of ladybugs." Amy laughed, peering closer at Alya's phone. "Wow, she almost looks real. That's amazing artwork."
Marinette looked even more offended.
"Are you kidding me?" Alya drew back. "Do you think she's fake? Ladybug and Chat Noir watch over Paris and keep us safe from Akumas!"
"Or attempt to." Marinette pointed out. "They've never actually prevented an akuma."
"No, but they're still awesome." Adrien interjected. "Especially Ladybug." He got a dreamy look in his eyes. Marinette pinched his side, making him jump.
"I've never watched this anime - woah." Shadi's head leaned back as she stared at her tablet. "Amy... look at this. Look at this."
"Youtube?" Amy leaned over Shadi's shoulder. "Woah. Whoever drew this anime is seriously skilled, you guys."
"I don't think this is anime." Shadi said uncomfortably. "You can't read the comments, this is a French video. But I can read them... recorded live action, five days ago?"
"That one was a strange akuma." Alya commented.
"Are those people trapped in flowers?" Amy snorted.
"Yup." Marinette shivered. "I remember those were uncomfortable."
"Me, too." Adrien agreed.
"They made me sneeze a bunch." Alya seconded.
"I'm confused." I interjected. "There are superheroes in Paris?"
"Of course." Alya stared at me. "Aren't there superheroes everywhere?"
"No." I replied. "No, very much not. Superheroes are legends and fiction."
"Well, there's an akuma at least once a week, so don't get too comfortable!" Alya laughed. "There'll be an akuma before you know it, and if you somehow miss the attack, it'll be up on my Ladyblog!"
It still sounded suspicious, but I let it slide as the pizza man announced himself and Adrien had to sign his autograph, which I found annoying and I think he did too. After all, it wasn't his fault that he had the perfect body and he looked absolutely stunning - no, I'm not gay, but I'm not blind either, and I could definitely see why Marinette was into him. If I was right, multiple people were.
Oh, how right I was.
--
"ADRIKINS!"
"BLOODY-" I turned around, nearly getting whiplash as a frilly yellow animal with blonde hair and blue eyes launched herself at Marinette's boyfriend, claws extended and mouth puckered. I had to do a double take as I realized that the animal was in fact that girl from the airport, who claimed that her father was the mayor. With the amount of makeup on, I also figured that her father was either blind or extremely tolerant.
"Chloe!" Adrien exclaimed, prying the girl off of him with a polite smile on his face. "This is Sel, my girlfriend's cousin."
"I don't have a cousin named Sel." Chloe pouted.
"He means me, Chloe." Marinette stepped in at that point, a large frown on her face. "Go chase after some other boy, Adrien's off-limits."
A scream sounded nearby, followed by another, and the sound of a crashing car. I flinched, my eyesight turning hazy as I stumbled, the sound of the crashing car echoing through my head. Screams. Crashed car.
Screams.
Crashed car.
I hit the wall behind me as the fire alarm on the school started going off and a fire engine screeched nearby, followed by a deep cackle. Chaos sounded, but I wasn't paying attention to all of it. I was somewhere completely different.
The air bags muffled my face, stained a dark shade of red.
"Sel?"
I couldn't see anything, or hear anything. It was dark, causing me to panic. I was losing focus, and had lost touch of my body, though I was vaguely aware of it shaking uncontrollably. My head lay in Lacey's lap, my hip throbbing in pain. Too much pain.
"Sel?"
The shattered window next to me and behind me caused the rain to beat my bloodied body, making the shaking worse. I was floating away, floating into unconsciousness, but still fully aware of Lacey's screams...
"SEL!"
I was being picked up, carried away, then placed on an ambulance stretcher. I was conscious now, but still shaking. My body was uncontrollable, jerking and bleeding. The attendees could barely put an oxygen mask on my face...
"SEL!"
My eyes opened to rows of books.
"See, I told you." A boy nearby straightened his glasses. "PTSD triggered by the akuma attack. Not uncommon."
"Thank you, Max." Alya glanced over at me, worried. "Hey, Sel. Are you feeling alright?"
"No." I groaned, sitting up. "I mean I'm fine physically, I guess."
"An akuma is attacking." Alya explained. "Chat Noir himself carried you to safety! He and Ladybug are dealing with the akuma."
"Alright, I'm calling BS." I stood up, ignoring the spinning sensation in my head, and peeked out of the library.
I took everything back.
In front of me, just crouching there, was a teenage male in a black cat suit, completely with ears and tail. He seemed to be waiting for something, his ears alert. His back was towards me, but I got the feeling that he knew I was there, because I saw his ears perk up.
I breathed a forbidden word of awe, one that would have gotten me seriously grounded at home but that accurately described the situation. A large robotic thing was currently tied up to a lamppost by a yoyo that was apparently magical, because he couldn't get out of it. In that moment, I doubted my entire existence.
The catman inclined his head. "Are you alright now, Sel?"
"Who the bloody hell are you?" I demanded, a bit of a British accent slipping into my voice.
"Language, mademoi-Sel." The cat shook his head in mock disapproval, turning to look at me. "Do you see me now?"
WHAT THE OEDIPUS-
I held my breath. On his face was the most messed up grins I have ever seen, and it made my knees shake a bit.
Is that a oedipus cat?
Of course it was a cat. It was always a cat.
It was a black cat who was our third pet. It was a black cat who I saw and instantly fell in love with at the pet store. And it was a black human cat sitting right in front of me. What luck I had instantly abandoned me as I slowly backed into the door. "Gafg!" I muffled my curse word, opening the door and sliding inside as the cat human jumped away.
"What the oedipus bloody hell was that?" I demanded of Alya, who was covering her mouth to stifle her giggles.
"I see you enjoyed Chat Noir." She said, before breaking out into another burst of giggles.
"Is he the one in that bloody cat suit?" I demanded. "What..."
"The female superhero is Ladybug. Not an actual ladybug, she just wears a ladybug costume."
"Why?" I demanded.
Alya started to explain, but left her mouth open. "I - I don't actually know."
"And that dude," I began, "wears a bloody black cat costume?"
"Would it affect you less if the costume was brown?" Alya inquired, mischievous teasing in her eyes.
"Yes!" I declared, falling dramatically onto the library floor.
Ow. That hurt.
Why are you so dramatic?
"Because I bloody want to be." I snapped. "Would you shut up for once?"
Alya looked at me, confused I bit my tongue immediately. "Sorry, talking to myself."
That's insulting us.
"Shut up," I hissed.
Adrien banged open the doors, a scar running down his cheek. "The akuma - was cleansed - " he panted.
Alya turned to me, a small smirk on her face. "Would you like to tell Adrien how much you loved Chat Noir?"
Adrien leaned against the wall, the very frame of innocent, complete interest. From the matching smirk on his face, I knew it wasn't.
"I bloody hate cats." I proclaimed, crossing my arms.
Don't lie, Sel. That's rude.
"Fine!" I threw my hands up into the air, glaring at nowhere in particular. "Cats are my favourite animal in the whole entire world, even more than wolves. Are you happy now?"
Completely.
"I - WASN'T - ASKING - YOU!" I formed my hands into fists.
Adrien and Alya stared at me. I deflated instantly, my hands lowering and softening. "Um... I'm fine. Completely sane. But - um - yeah. I like cats. A lot. But that doesn't apply to Chat Noir, you know. Obviously. He's not actually a cat."
Adrien looked offended.
"Where's Chat Noir?" A human ladybug walked into the library, for some reason giving Adrien a very pointed look. "There's another akuma and I need his help ASAP."
"Right!" Adrien looked around. "I think I know where he is. He went off - um - south. I'll go look!" He dashed out of the library and ran to the left, with Ladybug dashing after him.
"That's west, though." I pointed out, looking at my multipurpose watch.
"Same difference." Alya dismissed.
I ventured out of the library, following the direction Adrien and Ladybug had gone - and the trail of screams. I still couldn't believe that this was normal, but Parisians were ordering from an ice cream stand nearby while an ambulance stood nearby, treating people who were injured.
I ducked as the ice cream stand flew over my head, an evil-looking girl in a pink hoop skirt flying past, her black curls bobbing in the wind. She raised her wand. "Incantatio: glaciem!" She chanted.
I ducked a sudden onslaught of ice that shot over my head, freezing anyone it touched. Ladybug deflected one with her yoyo, while Chat Noir batted one away with his metal baseball bat. What was it called? A baton? That sounded right.
Another icicle shot towards me. I ducked, then jumped as a pure barrage of them came towards me. "Stay out of this, peasant!" She cackled.
Ladybug got hit with an icicle and froze. Chat Noir was under attack, just like me, his baton swirling in front of him as he was forced back several feet. I did the only thing I could.
I jumped on top of the akumatized girl, bring her crashing down to the ground. Her belt broke under our combined weight, along with her hoop skirt.
A black butterfly flew out of the broken belt buckle, and the ice stopped. I grabbed the nearest thing - a box - and snapped the butterfly inside, three years' worth of catching fireflies finally paying off.
Chat Noir stared at me.
"Get Ladybug out of the ice!?" I reminded him.
He swung his baton into her stomach, cracking the ice and making her double over in pain. The ice covering fell off, and she looked at me, bewildered. "Sel?"
"What do I do with this?" I held up the flowery box. "There's a black spotted butterfly inside. It's actually really pretty."
"The akuma!" Ladybug fumbled with her yoyo. "Let it free!"
I opened the box. With a sequence of fancy moves and a French phrase I didn't understand, she trapped the akuma inside her yoyo.
I didn't even know those things opened.
You and me both.
The yoyo opened again, and a pure white butterfly flew out, so white that I had to put a hand over my eyes.
When the butterfly flew out of sight, Ladybug turned to me. "Thank you, Sel. You helped save Paris."
"I jumped on her." I reminded the spotted superhero. "I literally just jumped on her."
"You also trapped the akuma." The superhero returned, ready to go.
"Wait." I stopped the pair. "Ladybug, Chat Noir... your voices sound familiar. Do I know you?"
They shared a smile. "Perhaps."
Together, they jumped away.