I've just been in the house for 4 days and the only day I went out was the day after Ken broke up with me. I dropped Amy off at Rachel for a little vacation as Amy doesn't need to see me like this. I called in sick at work and I sit in my house. I don't do anything, I just lay in bed and sleep all day. I don't wanna face the world, the world where everyone is angry with me. Ken is angry with me, Marshall is angry with, Ken's parents are angry with me, Kim and the kids are angry with me. It seems like I can't do anything right no matter how much I always try to do the right thing. I try everything I can to make everyone happy but I end up in this situation every single time. Ken hasn't even been here to pick up his things yet and I haven't heard anything from him. The only one I've been talking to is Amy, she calls every night to say goodnight. Rachel tries to talk to me afterwards but I just hang up. Marshall has tried to call me but I just texted him that Amy is with Rachel so he needs to talk to her.
I'm better by myself, it's better if I just stay away from people because I seem to do too much damage.
I'm woken up by the lights being turned on in the bedroom. I have no idea what the clock is.
"It's fucking 2pm and you're sleeping." I hear Marshall's voice. What the fuck is he doing here? How did he get in here?
"Go fuck yourself Marshall." I just mumble.
"Nice to see you too Amelia." He just says.
"Get the fuck out Marshall." I just say and put the pillow over my head. I hear him open the curtains and open the window.
"Get up." He says.
"Don't fucking come into my house and tell me what to do." I hiss and removes the pillow from my head to look at him.
"You have a fucking daughter that you've just dropped off at Rachel. How fucking selfish are you?" He frowns.
"She shouldn't see me like this!" I yell at him.
"Then get your fucking ass together!" He fires back.
"You have no right to come into my house, not when everything is your fucking fault!" I throw my pillow at him.
"My fault?" He asks followed with a sarcastic laugh. "You were all up in my fucking business, that's why he fucking left your ass Amelia!"
"We were doing fine before you came into my life again!" I yell.
"This is your own fucking fault! Everything is your fault! Take some god damn responsibility Amelia!" He yells.
"I told you from the start that I can't have you in my life!" I cry in anger now.
"Well, we don't really have a fucking choice when we have a child together!" His voice hits a high note in anger.
"Just get the fuck out of my house! I don't need this right now." I say and turn away from him.
"But our fucking daughter needs you Amelia!" He says. "If you don't get the fuck up now and go get your daughter then imma take her with me to Detroit."
"You wouldn't!" I say and turn around to look at him.
"Wanna bet?" He asks coldly.
"Try to have some fucking empathy!" I cry now comes from sadness.
"I have Amelia, that's why I'm fucking here." He frowns. "I'm the only one who have been here to try to get you out, ain't I?"
"Because of Amy, not because of me." I point out.
"No, I could just take Amy with me. I'm using Amy as a motivation for you to get your shit together." Marshall says.
"Since when do you fucking care?" I roll my eyes and Marshall sits down on the bed.
"Just because I don't love you anymore then it doesn't mean that I don't care about you." He frowns.
"But I just need to be alone Marshall." I cry.
"But I'm not gonna allow that. I meant what I said before. You have a daughter and if you don't get your shit together then you give me no other choice but take her with me to Detroit tomorrow." He says.
"Marshall everyone is angry with me." I cry.
"Everyone is not angry with you Amelia." He says.
"You're angry with me, Ken is angry with me, Kim and the kids are angry with me.."
"If you didn't make stupid decisions then people wouldn't be angry." He cuts me off.
"Thank you." I say sarcastically and roll my eyes. It didn't really help much.
"Fix your mistake instead of hiding from the world." He says.
"But how?" I ask.
"You could start with me." He says.
"What do you mean?"
"Be honest with me, like completely honest and take some responsibility." He says. I know what he wants to hear, he wants to hear that I was wrong, that I take fully responsibility for all that shit with Amy.
"I was wrong, okay? I made a stupid decision and I can't justify it in any ways." I say.
"Thank you." He says.
"Then you need to be honest with me." I now say and he frowns in confusion.
"About what?" He asks.
"Are you gonna sleep with Jamie when she comes to your concert?" I ask.
"Probably." He shrugs.
"Why?" My voice shakes. How can he be so disrespectful?
"Because we both want to." He says like it's no big deal. "Why does it bother you that much?"
"Because she's my nanny.."
"I'm asking you to be honest." He cuts me off. "Amelia, do you still have feeling for me?" I don't wanna admit it but it bothers me, not only because she's my nanny but because I love him and even though I don't wanna be with him then I don't want her to sleep with him. I know it's never gonna be me and Marshall and I don't want it to, but I can't stop loving him and he's always been my one and only. I don't care about the girls that I don't know but when he wants to fuck a girl that is so close to me like Jamie is then it really bothers me.
"I still love you and it doesn't mean that I wanna be with you, but I can't help my feelings and I can't help getting angry when you hit on someone I know." I explain. "There's so many girls out there you could sleep with but do you have to choose a person that I know?"
"No." he says. "I won't sleep with her but only if you get the fuck out of that bed and take a shower."
"Okay." I nod and sit up. "Marshall.. I fired her."
"Jamie?" He widens his eyes.
"Yes." I admit.
"You didn't fucking fire her because we flirted?" He sighs already knowing the answer and I nod. I don't regret it but I'm still embarrassed. "You can't just fire her because we flirted."
"But I did." I hide my face in my hands.
"Go out and take a shower now." He sighs as he apparently doesn't wanna talk more about it. I walk out and take a shower, a long shower hoping that I can wash all the sadness off me. I don't know what to believe, I don't know what to think about Marshall being here. Just yesterday I thought he didn't care about me and now he's actually the only one trying to help me. I feel bad for just leaving Amy with Rachel, I feel like a bad mother!
After my shower I walk out to Marshall in the living room.
"Do you feel better?" He asks.
"Not exactly." I sigh. "I feel like a bad mother Marshall. I'm sorry.."
"Wow wow wow." He cuts me off. "You are not a bad mother, do you hear me?"
"I just left her with Rachel." I frown.
"She's still the only one you've wanted to talk to, you cared about how she felt and how she was doing." He says and the front door now goes up, which makes Marshall looks at me confused, but I'm just as confused as him. "Are you expecting someone?" He whispers and I shake my head. We wait and I suddenly watch Ken walk into the living room. Bad timing.
"Of course." He laughs sarcastically.
"It's not what you think Ken." I say.
"No it never is, is it Amelia?" He throws some more sarcasm at me.
"It really isn't." Marshall now tells him.
"You know what?" Ken says. "I don't care, you can have her because the two of you are fucking made for each other." He now looks directly at me. "I just wanna know if I'm gonna actually look for a new house or do you intend to move in with him as soon as possible?"
"I'm not gonna move Ken." I frown as I get so offended right now. "I just told you; it's not what you think."
"Whatever." He says and walks towards the bedroom. I get up and follow him because he doesn't get to leave with that attitude.
"You don't believe me." I point out when we're in the bedroom.
"He's sitting in there." He turns around and look at me. "Amy isn't here. How disrespectful are you? It's not even been a week since I left."
"I've been so fucking devastated that I dropped Amy off at Rachel and locked myself in! Today is the first day I've been out of bed thanks to Marshall! He's here because I just ignored the whole world and didn't wanna face it, because you broke my heart because you don't trust me!" I burst out.
"Yeah suddenly you're bff's like that's not suspicious." He rolls his eyes.
"You know what?" I say. "Take the house, take the fucking car. I don't want anything from you. You ain't even gonna be a part of Amy's life so we don't want anything from you. You can move back into your house tomorrow."
"Don't be stupid Amelia." He sighs.
"I'm not." I say. "I'm being reasonable." I walk back into Marshall and I know that he's heard it all.
"Can you give me lift to Rachel?" I ask Marshall.
"Uh.. yeah sure." Marshall says stunned.
"Amelia.." Ken comes out of the bedroom.
"What?" I ask him.
"I don't want this for you and Amy. I want you to have a place to live and I really don't mind you staying here."
"But you did mind if I fucked Marshall, right?" I ask.
"Well yeah.."
"And you don't get to control me just because I live here, so I'm out." I say and walk out to Marshall's car. Marshall follows behind me and he catches up on me.
"Are you sure about this Amelia?" He asks.
"Yes." I say. "Me and Amy are just gonna move in with Rachel."
"Alright." He says and we drive over to Rachel.