The elevator doors shut, leaving him on the other side.
As I turned around the guards all moved back into their places around me. I felt suffocated by them, but I let them lead me to the blue room. Once I was alone inside I sat down at the dining table and let myself really cry like I have held back for so long. Big, ugly, stupid crying for no reason, and for every reason all at once.
I've spent so long pretending to be strong, pretending to be ok, pretending to have forgotten...but I just haven't. I desperately wish I could have forgotten over the time about all the feelings this place gives me. I remember when I was first brought here, how much I hated it, but the more I got to know Calvin, the more this place became so much more to me than just a prison.
It was home because it was where he was.
How can he still have such a power over me? My mind won't work when he is around, my feelings refuse to be hidden when he is near me, and my mouth just wants to scream I love you, even though I know that I never can say that again. Too much has happened.
I stood up from the table and paced the room, needing to get some of this nervous energy out of me. I can't believe that this whole time that Calvin thought I was still upset about the vampire takeover lie. I was pissed, and I felt incredibly stupid for missing all of the signs, but ultimately, it was that lie that brought us together, no matter the circumstances, I fell in love with him. What had hurt was being away from him, not the lies.
I'd been so deep in thought that I hadn't even noticed when the door opened and Octavia walked in with Cromley. "Majesty?" She said, making me jump nearly out of my skin.
I spun around and I couldn't help but notice the looks on their faces as they took in my appearance. Makeup smeared all around, and snot pouring from my bright red nose. "Sorry." I sniffled. "I was just..."
"Having a breakdown?" Octavia asked and I nodded. "That is known to happen around here from time to time."
I almost smiled as I nodded, wiping my face some more. "You can say that again." I muttered.
Cromley smiled at me warmly. "Anything I can do, please let me know." He said with a bow. My stomach grumbled and I looked up at them helplessly, then over to the kitchen with a frown. "How about I get you some food?" He asked politely and I nodded my head.
"Thank you, Cromley." I sighed. Since Logan stormed off, I haven't eaten. He was the one who always cooked for us at home.
Cromley left the room and Octavia walked over to the vanity, pulling out the plush seat. "Come on," She said. "Let's get you cleaned up. The council has reached a decision."
"So fast?" I asked as I walked over and she nodded her head.
"Although I know how hard that was for the both of you, his lies, and your emotional reaction really sold it." She said. "You shouldn't worry about that anymore."
I leaned back in the chair, pulling my legs up beside me as she pulled my hair from the ribbon and fanned it out behind me, brushing through it with her fingers. "Can I ask you something?" I spoke up after a couple of minutes.
"Anything." She smiled at me in the mirror.
"You said you and Calvin are close," I said. "How has he...I don't know, I guess I'm wondering what the last five years have been like for him." I told her and then ducked my head slightly so that she wouldn't see the insecurity written all over my face.
"Honestly?" She asked and I peeked up to catch her smiling. "He's been a big baby." She laughed and I couldn't help but snort out a little one too. "I'm serious." She smiled. "I used to have this idea about this place and the king and the prince, and I was so excited to finally come here, but then I got here and found that nothing was like I had imagined it to be. Especially him. I know you probably heard that before you, Calvin used to be looked at as very cold and heavy handed." She told me and I nodded in agreement. He had told me that himself, as did a handful of others. "I'd watch him on the TV and he'd always be brooding or making sarcastic comments that you could tell pushed the King's buttons." She laughed to herself at some memory, then looked back down at me as she pulled my hair up into a high ponytail. "Then there was the competition, and it was almost instantaneous the change you made in him. Commentators hated it because he seemed to come alive when you were around and he wasn't the deep and dark prince they'd always assumed him to be. You should have heard the way the news would talk about him." She sighed.
"I heard the way they talked about me, so I believe you." I agreed.
"That's right." She winked. "I forgot you were such a rule breaker."
"He told you that?" I asked and she just laughed.
"Pigheaded is how he put it, but yes." She smiled.
I shook my head at her in the mirror, having a hard time not getting pulled into her contagious smile. "You sound just like a friend of mine." I told her, sadness getting to me a little that he wasn't here.
"Pedro?" She asked and I glanced up at her, surprised she knew who I was referring to. "I'll let you in on a little known secret." She giggled. "Pedro is my uncle by blood." She told me and I gasped.
"He never told me he had family here." I said surprised.
She tilted her head back and forth. "Well, he technically didn't at the time." She explained. "He's my mother's brother, and for the longest time my family refused to talk about him until the day when my mother got really sick. She had a rare bone disease and she had refused Pedro's help so many times, but as she was on her death bed she begged me to find Pedro and bring him to her." She told me. "I didn't understand why, but she finally came clean with me and told me all about his true identity. For the longest I thought the reason he was shunned from the family was because he was gay." She shook her head at herself. "I was twenty two then, and although I couldn't get to Pedro in time to save my mom, I did decide that I wanted this life." She said. "The doctors told me it was very possible that I might develop the same condition that killed my mom, and I just couldn't do that."
"I'm so sorry about your mother." I told her, turning in the chair to face her. "I lost my mother too."
She smiled down thankfully to me and put her hand on my shoulder. "I know, and I am sorry for you as well." She whispered. "So, I knew I didn't want to go out the way she did, so I asked Pedro to change me." She explained, reaching around me to get some wipes to clean my face with. "He promised he would, but I'd have to be sure first, and he made me wait a year before coming here, but I did get to watch the televised occasions, including the competition from home." When she finished wiping away the old ruined makeup, she began applying the new. "That was how I, like so many others, was able to see the change in Calvin you made. He smiled, he laughed, he was kind to people, he cared about others, and he started being the man you needed. I've been a hopeless romantic all my life, so there was no way I was going to root for anyone other than you to win. I was so happy when I found out you two were married and I was scheduled to come here soon after." She said. "But as luck would have it, all hell broke loose, as it usually does around here, and I ended up arriving here days after your departure."
"I see." I nodded then she eyed me to be still so that she could do my eyeliner.
"I expected to meet Calvin the strong warrior and king who had pulled everyone together around his rule and his queen, but instead I met a broken man."
I looked up into her big eyes and there was sadness there. It was clear she really does care for him. "It broke my heart seeing this guy who I had idolized from afar, and thought so much of, turn into such a...for lack of a better word, a big fat baby." She smiled. "He stayed locked in his room for weeks, he starved himself, he was...just lost. He hated himself for what he had done to you, and he missed you, Rachel. You have no idea how much."
"I'm sure I do." I pointed out and she smiled, rolling her eyes.
"Actually, yeah, I'm sure you do too." She agreed. "Getting him to come back, to open back up to the people, and to rule his kingdom was hard. Pedro worried over him so long, but he finally was able to get through to him. I was in the room with him and Pedro when Calvin refused to speak to his people. He hadn't eaten in days and he was becoming so frail. Pedro grabbed him out of the bed and held him up and he yelled at him, 'What kind of man do you want to be? One day, that little girl is going to come asking who her father is, and she is going to have a mother with her. What kind of man do you want them to find when they come looking for you? It's time to grow up, and be the man you promised to be,' He'd told him, and just like that, it was like a switch flipped in Calvin." She said. "He started doing what he needed to do, he got up, he made changes, and he tried to be a good ruler. You could still see the pain in his eyes, but he stopped letting it control him." She finished off my makeup, then she came around to the front of the chair, looking down at me hard. "Are you ready to stop letting the pain control you?" She asked and it took all of my fight not to burst into tears.
I stood up and put my arms around her neck. "Thank you." I whispered and she hugged me back.
When she pulled away she looked at me seriously. "Since you've been back here, I see the same love-struck prince I used to watch on TV." She told me. "I know he has made mistakes, and he knows it to, but girl, that man is in love with you." She whispered.
There was a knock on the door and Cromley walked in carrying a covered dish. "You'll have to eat quickly, the council is ready for you." He said as he put the plate on the table.
Octavia fanned her hand in the air. "She's the queen, they can wait." She smiled at me.
I walked over to the table and lifted the lid.
Have some damn cobbler and try to relax...Also, I'm sorry. -Cal
I looked up from the plate and the note with tears in my eyes and Octavia grinned at me as she tilted her head.
"I told you so."
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