Dusty rarely visited her father's grave. It was located on the other side of town, near their old home, but more than the obstacle of the extra distance, she had avoided his resting place because it made her too sad to endure. Away from his grave, she could pretend that he still was around, somehow lurking in the shadows of her life.
But when she stood and read his name etched in cold, hard stone, the dates of his time on earth emblazoned beneath, it was difficult to believe that he was still with them. It pained her to imagine his body there under her feet, buried beneath dirt and locked away in a box. She wanted to think of him only as he had been: kind, loving, and full of life.
The cemetery was almost empty as the family gathered around the tombstone. The early morning air was crisp and held a bite to it that nipped at their exposed cheeks. Despite it being summer, the weather had taken a chilly turn of late.
Kayla stood between her two children, placing an arm around each of them. She knew it was the first time in years that they'd been there. For her, it was a familiar spot.
They didn't know, but each night, after the shift of her first job had concluded, she made a longer journey home, so she could pass by the cemetery, and quickly visit her deceased husband. She'd tell him about her day, about how she was, about how hard everything had been since he left. Not a day had gone by since he died that she hadn't visited his grave.
"Hey, Dad," Dust said awkwardly, feeling self-conscious about talking to an inanimate object.
"Dad, we came here today to tell you something." Dusty cleared her throat, also feeling a little strange to be talking to open air as though it were a person. She pulled away from her mother to retrieve her acceptance letter from her backpack.
She took it out and held it towards the gravestone. "I got into Princeton." She smiled as tears ran down her face. "Just like you always wanted me to." Dusty began to shake as the emotion overwhelmed her, and Kayla pulled her back towards the family unit, rubbing a protective hand down Dusty's arm.
"He'd have been so, so proud," Kayla whispered.
"He'd have run out and bought you something crazy like a new laptop," Dust joked.
"He loved you children so much." Kayla's voice threatened to break as she spoke. "I know it's been hard for us all since he died. And I'm sorry if I haven't done such a great job." Kayla looked up to the heavens, to the place where she prayed her husband was watching them, trying to hold back further tears. "I'd only ever known how to be a mom," she continued, shaking.
"I didn't know how to be both a mom and dad to you kids." Both Dust and Dusty leaned into their mother and comforted her.
"You've done great, Mom," Dusty said. "It's been hard for each of us as we adjusted."
"You haven't done too bad," Dust added. "I mean, Dusty got into Princeton, so you've got one good kid," he quipped.
"I've got two great kids," Kayla declared. "Things are going to get better for this family, I just know it. This is the start of it turning around for us."
"Well, it won't get better for me unless I get to school on time," Dust noted as he glanced at his watch.
"Okay, let's go." Kayla ushered her children away from their father's grave. Dusty looked back briefly as she clutched the acceptance application to her chest and mouthed the words thank you.
She knew that if it hadn't been for her father's vision for her life, she would never have gone after such an immense dream. And now it was coming true for her, and she knew that her father would be with her each step of the way.
****
"Cora, hey," Dusty greeted her friend as they stood at their respective lockers. Brief interactions in the hallway were all the girls had now since Dusty had transferred out of all the classes they shared and into more advanced classes.
Dusty hadn't had the time to miss her friend, since she'd been so preoccupied with her studies. She felt the occasional pang of regret when she saw the cheerleaders strutting down the hallway, turning heads as they went, but she just reminded herself that she focused on the bigger picture now.
While it was great to be somebody in high school, she didn't want everything to end after graduation. She wanted a future, and a good one at that.
"Hey." Cora smiled at Dusty as she shoved a textbook into her locker, pictures of her and Justin grinning like every couple covered the door.
"You excited for graduation?" Dusty asked, glancing to one of the numerous flyers that were littered around the school, advertising that, for most of the seniors, the end was nigh.
"I guess." Cora shrugged. "Justin asked me to prom," she added with more enthusiasm.
"He did? That's awesome."
"Yeah, so now I just need to pick out a dress. I really want to wear green, but Farah is wearing turquoise." Cora frowned in deep contemplation.
"What about after prom? Have you applied to any colleges?" Dusty asked, closing her locker and leaning against it. It was the first time she'd ever broached the subject of college with Cora, and she was interested to learn what plans her friend had for after high school.
"Honestly, I haven't had time," Cora replied. "Between cheer practice and Justin and, of course, getting ready for prom, college kind of fell to the back of the line."
"Oh."
"Besides, my dad has a job lined up for me to go and work at his office as a secretary," Cora said.
"Sounds... cool."
"Totally, right? Think of all the great outfits I can wear. Like pencil skirts and smart shirts. Office chic is so in right now."
"Uh huh." Dusty began to wonder how she'd maintained such monotonous conversations for the last four years. Recently she'd engaged with peers about Marxism or embraced theological debate. The color theme for a prom dress or discussions of work attire seemed unimportant to her now.
She opened her eyes, but Cora's were welded shut. They'd never see the world in the same way again, and that saddened Dusty. "Aren't you going to go and work with your mom at Prada?" Cora asked. "If you do, you totally have to hook me up with some discounts!"
"Actually, I'm going to college."
"Oh." It was Cora's turn to feel awkward. "West Tech?" she cited the local college that was a destination for most unaspiring graduates, as it was a convenient choice.
"Nope." Dusty shook her head, smiling a little. She knew she was about to blow Cora's mind when she revealed the truth about the college she would be attending. She imagined her friend would be shocked at first but then ecstatic for her, and they would embrace in the hallway before jumping up and down giggling and screaming with excitement, as they would do after the team won a big game.
Perhaps it would be the spark to reignite their stagnating friendship. Maybe Dusty would even attend prom just to spend some more time with her friends. "So where are you going?" Cora was peering into her locker as she spoke, looking for something.
"Well, actually..." Dusty wasn't sure how to deliver the news. "I got into Princeton." She chose the short and swift route. Cora forgot about whatever she was looking for and slammed her locker door shut and turned to face Dusty directly.
"Princeton?" she repeated.
"Yeah, I know, it's crazy, right?" Dusty beamed.
"But Princeton is for smart people, right?" Cora queried.
"Uh huh."
"And you quit cheerleading because your grades were so bad?"
"True."
"So how did you get into Princeton?" Cora placed one hand on her hip and stared at Dusty. Of all the emotions Dusty had anticipated in her friend, anger had not been one of them.
"Well, I did improve my grades, and I've kind of always been smart—" Dusty considered revealing more, explaining everything to her friend about her dead father and how that had impacted her life, but Cora interrupted her.
"So you lied not only to the squad but also to me," Cora yelled. "You never did need time to raise your grades. You were only pretending to be dumb?"
"Hey, don't be mad. I can explain."
"I don't want to hear it." Cora raised a hand to her friend to silence her. "Farah was right about you. All you do is lie and put yourself first."
"That's not true." Dusty flinched, hurt by the harshness of her words.
"I don't know what Justin ever saw in you. Honestly I don't," Cora continued, giving Dusty a disapproving once-over.
"Cora, please—"
"Have fun at Princeton with the other brains," Cora retorted. "My dad always told me that people can only ever be beautiful or smart, never both, so I guess at least we know now which you are." Cora turned and brisked away from her former friend. She didn't even glance back at Dusty, who stood beside her locker, hurt and deflated. The joyous celebration with her family that morning felt like a world away.