A/N
Something in going to happen in this chapter.... >:) Stay tuned, vote, comment - I especially love hearing what you think of it.
Okay, let's do this without any further ado.
BTW! To anyone who can be bothered to read this.... HOW THE HELL DO YOU UPLOAD PCITURES ON WATTPAD IF THEY DON'T HAVE AN INTERNET LINK?!?!?!?! Someone please help....
This is gonna be nice and looooooong (I think) which will (hopefully) make up for the fact that I'm still working on Chapter 6 :P
Enjoy!
~NICO~
The salty droplets of water spilled from my tear ducks relentlessly - streaming down my cheeks as my shoulders heaved and I sobbed in what I hoped was a relative silence.
I was crying.
Christian had kissed me - and it wasn't like I could deny the face that I'd secretly wanted him to. I had. I'd been longing for our lips to touch all day.
So why was I crying?
Why did you push him away? I scolded myself. I'd been so horrible to him… the look on his face told me clearly - he thought it was somehow his fault that I'd shut down so suddenly. Why am I always like this?
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop the tears that couldn't seem to stop running - like a leaking faucet, they dribbled down my cheeks, dropped off my chin and made little, wet stains on my shirt. Why, why, why…
My throat was sore as I swallowed uncomfortably. I knew why - I knew that I knew why…
The memories played out before my closed lids, and there was nothing I could do to stop them. My quivering shoulders folded forward, I bit down on my lip so hard that the metallic taste of blood seeped into my mouth…
He towered over me, glaring down at me, unsmiling, as I writhed in pain below him. I was on my hands and knees - the cold, hard concrete under me pierced my palms and made my shins sore through my school pants. The pain through my stomach was almost unbearable - almost, but not completely. And I knew why I wasn't giving up just yet.
Jason crunched down in front of me - his head still far above mine, his sea-green eyes glowering down as the sunlight above us filtered through his hair; turning it the most beautiful shade of silver-blond. His arm shot forward as he grabbed a fistful of my dark hair, pulling me upright with it. I cry of agony escaped my lips.
My pain only made Jason chuckle sadistically. 'Poor Nico, poor, poor, Nico,' He muttered as his free hand curled into a fist. I whimpered - I already knew what he was going to do with me. He pulled his fist back, then sent it slamming into my sore abdomen - I howled. It was excruciating… I can't take it anymore, I screamed inwardly, but another part of me shot the whining down. Remember, it warned, remember who you're doing this for.
I look up at him - he was glaring down at me, too, with bright, piercing green eyes. Our eyes connected - his eyebrows furrowed angrily. 'What are you looking at?' he demanded. 'WHAT?'
He clenched his fist once more, this time bringing his arm up so his scarred knuckled pressed up against my cheekbone. 'Got something to say?' he asked, raising both his eyebrows almost humorously.
I didn't think he expected me to answer… but I did anyway. I had to… I have to finally tell him.
'I love you,' I sobbed.
The tension from his jaw disappeared immediately - his mouth hung open. His eyes widened. Like this, he looked almost… innocent. The fist that clenched my hair slackened, dropping to his side.
'I love you,' I said again, through shuddering breaths.
That's when his expression began to shift - his lips pulled down into an ugly, crooked frown. His eyes began to shine even brighter - but they glinted with malice, with anger, with… pain - with everything bad, everything I didn't want to see. 'You love me?' he spat, his lips curling into a sneer. 'I'll kill you… I'll fucking kill you!' he growled, shoving me back. I stumbled and tripped, falling over. I felt my skull hit the concrete with a sickening crack. Above me, Jason balled his fists.He lunged at me with a renewed, even greater forced than before. 'Fag!' he shrieked - both of his scraped knuckled plummeted at my face - one fist connected with my jaw, the other my cheekbone, and my face exploded with white-hot pain. I think I was screaming, too - I'd never screamed before when he'd hurt me. This seemed even worse than any other time - that word echoed through my mind, over and over. Fag…
The concrete was cold, hard, the gravel-like bits were poking painfully into my skull and my spine as I lay on my back, squinting up at the sun, at the angel above me. At least, he looked like an angel - the sun's rays were beating down in the back of his head, turning his unkempt, blonde hair into a halo around his head. His green eyes were bright, malevolent, malicious. 'I'll kill you…' he muttered, sneering. His yanked his leg back, and with all his force, rammed the toe of his shoe into my ribcage.
I howled pitifully as he kept kicking, unrelenting. My ribs cracked under my skin, with an audible sound that made Jason smile. I was crying now, crying and screaming like a newborn baby as my ribs crunched and my face and my body was slammed over and over, and engulfed in unimaginable agony.
Jason's smile didn't waver. Not even as my vision went blurry, not even when everything before me faded to black, Jason kept on smiling.
Gasping, I tried to control the shuddering breaths that escaped past my lips. It had felt like I was reliving the memory… a phantom pain made my ribs ache dully.
There was a soft knock on my door - furiously, I rubbed the tears from my cheeks. 'Come in,' I croaked.
Mum poked her head through the doorway - once her dark, chocolate-coloured eyes scanned me over, she frowned. But she didn't say anything, she just stared at my tearstained cheeks awkwardly. 'Uhh…' she piped up finally, still keeping her body outside of my room. 'It's dinnertime…'
'I'm not hungry,' I mumbled, dropping my head so that my fringe covered my puffy, red eyes.
'You have to eat something,' she huffed, her voice more insistent this time. The creak of the door signalled Mum had finally stepped through the threshold and pulled her whole body into my room. 'Nico?' When I didn't answer, look up, or acknowledge her existence, she sighed wearily.
Soft footsteps on the rug indicated that she was coming closer - I tensed as the shadow of my Mum flickered over me. She stepped carefully over the fuzzy rug beneath us, and took a seat on my bed beside me. The bed sunk down at she perched right next to me - so close that our arms brushed and I could hear her steady breaths going in and out; a contrast with my own rapid, shallow ones.
'So,' she started, 'what's wrong?'
I swallowed uncomfortably. 'Nothing,' I mumbled, but glancing up at her, she looked unconvinced.
'Really?' her voice dripped with sarcasm.
'Really,' I confirmed with a singled nod. 'I'm fine.'
Mum sighed once more - it was all she seemed to be able to do when she attempted a conversation with me. 'You can talk to me, you know. About anything.'
'I know,' I lied.
'So, are you okay?' her voice was sharp, pointed.
'Yes.'
'Anything you want to talk about? Any… you know, boy stuff?'
My head snapped up wildly. 'What?'
A small smile played on Mum's lips as she gave me a mischievous look. 'You are gay… aren't you?'
I froze - completely unable to vehemently deny what was true. The look on her face told me - my silence, for her, was a definite confirmation. There was no point in denying it now… 'How long have you know?' My voice was barely a reedy whisper.
'A while,' she admitted. 'I mean, I wasn't exactly surprised… after all, you always looked like a girl.'I frowned and crossed my arms sullenly, but really, I was fighting back a smile. 'I know, I know…'
'So,' Mum seemed far happier now that I'd admitted my sexuality. 'You and Christian?'
I almost choked on my own saliva. 'Wh-what?' I asked weakly, trying to feint surprised. 'Christian? What? He's… he's not gay.'
'Sure,' Mum shrugged airily. 'Whatever you say… you know, he stood up for you. He said he thought you were really nice, and that you'd had a conversation… I just figured.' Mum shrugged again. 'If he does end up, you know, playing for that team or whatever… he seems really nice.'
'Mum,' I whined, 'this is officially the most awkward conversation I have ever had with you!'
'Actually,' Mum mused, ignoring my last statement, 'I figured he'd be in here.'I went red, all the way up to my hairline. Mum noticed - probably from the intense heat radiating from my cheeks. She grinned impishly. 'So he was here?'
'A few minutes ago,' I admitted, glaring down at my hands.
'So, what happened?' Suddenly, a line appeared between Mum's eyebrows as they furrowed, her dark eyes growing darker with concern. 'Did he do anything to you?' she demanded.
'WHAT?' I shrieked, unable to comprehend where this conversation was going. 'I - we - NO! Nothing like that! God!'
'Oh. Good.' Mum frowned. 'I didn't think he was the type… but you never know. So, why are you crying?'
'I…' I sighed heavily. 'I'm not one hundred per cent sure. But, uhh, I think I might've messed it up.'
'Messed what up?'
'Everything.'
Mum raised her eyebrows. 'Explain,' she commanded.
I took in a deep breath. 'You can't say anything,' I warned, not entirely sure why I was telling her this. 'But… well, we had a… moment, let's say… and, well, I sort of shut off and asked him to leave me alone.' It sounded really stupid out loud. I grimaced. 'And I was just reflecting on the fact that I must have trust issues or something. And, um, I think he thinks he's done something wrong.'
Mum pursed her lips, her brown eyes growing darker once again. 'That's not very good,' she chided.
'I know!' I moaned.
'You have to talk to him,' she encouraged. 'Which reminds me - I was going to tell him that dinner is in fifteen minutes… but, well, I think you should tell him.'
I glowered at Mum. 'He's probably asleep,' I pointed out.
'So, wake him up,' Mum shot back impatiently.
'Fine!' I huffed, not entirely sure what I was getting myself into.
'Good.' Mum grinned pleasantly. 'I'm glad we had this little talk, Nico - now -'
'Wait. Do Dad and Chase know about… you know?'
Mum offered a hollow smile. 'I don't know… I don't think so. But I don't recommend tell them just yet, okay?'
I bobbled my head in a small nod. 'Okay.'
'Good. Now, go get Christian. Dinner will be ready soon.' With that, Mum stood up and breezed out of my room without so much as a pause, leaving my sitting alone on my bed with puffy eyes and tearstained cheeks. Slowly, I stood up. Sucking in a deep breath, I surged forward and into the hallway, striding down the aisle, turning, and stopping in front of the door I knew Christian was behind. Here goes nothing…
I balled my fist, raised it to the door, and knocked gently three times.
'Come in…' a voice groaned from inside. I took in another breath, told myself to grow some balls, and grasped the brass doorknob, twisting it around until the door swung open.
I stepped timidly into the room and peeked around. Christian - his hair sticking up at all sorts of odd angels that seemed to defy gravity - was sitting up in his bed, his legs covered by his blankets. When he saw me, his eyebrows furrowed - he shot me a look that was a weird blend of confusion and hurt. 'Nico?' he breathed - the way he said my name… it sounds cheesy, I know, but it turned my knees to jelly. 'What are you doing here?'
'Um… can I come in?' I asked awkwardly - which was pointless, because I already was in the room. Nevertheless, Christian nodded faintly.
I took five or so steps further into the room, glaring down at my all-black converse which were a measly size four-and-a-half. I wrung my hands nervously, shifting he weight from foot to foot like a little kid going up on a stage. 'I'm sorry,' I said finally. 'You didn't do anything wrong - anything,' I stressed - just because, well, I didn't want him to think I didn't enjoy his kissing. 'It's all me, it's all my fault. I'm sorry I shut down on you, I just…'
I glanced up desperately, meeting Christian's brilliant, blue eyes. At first, his features had gone slack with surprise, but after a moment, a huge grin spread across his face. Slowly, Christian swung his legs over his bed and stood to his full height - which must've been almost six foot, because he positively loomed over me - and began striding towards me. His goofy beam was still plastered on his face.
'So…' he murmured softly, his voice as smooth as honey. 'I didn't do anything wrong?'
I gulped loudly, and managed to shake my head.
'Anything?' he pressed, raising one eyebrow as he grinned like a Cheshire cat.
'Nothing.' My voice sounded unbearably hoarse and husky after Christian's own silvery laugh rang out through the small room. He was coming really close now… I was all too aware of the ajar door behind me - every fibre of my being was screaming at me to turn around and bolt out that door while I still had the chance. But I stood still, riveted on my spot as I gawped lamely at Christian… He's beautiful.
'And if I did it again, would I be doing anything wrong?' His voice was barely a whisper, but I could hear him clearly - he hovered before me, so close that my chin just brushed his t-shirt. My heart was pumping thunderously through my ears now, and I could feel my fingers trembling… whatever you do, Nico, you will not shut him out again! ordered the pragmatic part of my brain - apparently the only part of my brain still functioning, not swooning over Christian. I hadn't expected any of this… some small part of my mind still urged me to to run away, but I shot it down. I can't keep on being so afraid, I thought angrily to myself. I craned my head up, goggling at Christian with my lips slightly parted. His chin had dropped to his chest, his face down so that his sapphire eyes gazed directly into mine… Holy shit.
Suddenly, Christian's grin faded, quickly replaced by a worried frown. 'You've been crying,' he muttered, noticing my puffy eyes, the salty tears that had dried on my cheeks, leaving them feeling tight and strange.
I could only nod - part of my brain was screaming: kiss me already, another part was savouring his stalling… you've known this guy for a day! Don't be such a slut!
I wanted to kiss him, so badly - it was like a starving person wanting food. But still… part of me was still terrified about what would happen after the kiss. And what I'd do when I woke up tomorrow…
Knowing myself, I'd probably ignore him and make him feel like crap while I hid in my room all summer. And that was the last thing I wanted to do.
This is all going way too fast, the panicked part of my brain screeched in my ear, planting doubts in my mind. What did any of this mean to Christian anyways? What does a kiss mean… normal teenagers I knew went to parties and made out furiously with dozens of people; and all of said occasions were meaningless, recreational activities… Christian's kiss would mean the whole world to me - but what would it mean to him?
All of these pessimistic thoughts raced through my head, one after the other, making me want to bolt the longer I stood gazing up into Christian's sad, sky-blue irises.
'Nico?' Christian whispered. He looked… troubled. I braced myself for hideous news.
'Yeah?'
'I think -' Christian gulped, tripping over his words slightly. 'I think I really like you.'
I blinked. That was the last thing I'd expected to hear, but somehow… I was sure there was nothing he could've said that would have made me even happier than I was in that moment. I felt a genuine smile spread slowly across my lips, my eyes widening. The only thing I could think to say was: 'Me too.'
'Good.' Christian's grinned was suddenly restored. His placed a hand under my chin, angling my face upwards as he leaning in closer. 'I'm glad,' he murmured, right before our lips connected.
His mouth was soft, warm, perfect. Christian's hands cupped either side of my jaw as he gently pressed out faces closer together; I leaned into him heavily, trying to get even closer as I raised myself up to tip-toes. Christian clasped either side of my face, but his kisses were still gentle, slow, sensual -
But, as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. I gaped up at him, unable to process what had just happened - unable to think. He was so close to me, I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. His shirt brushed my chin each time he took in a new breath. He smelled nice - it wasn't really a scent I could describe, but he smelled like clean skin and Lynx deodorant and cozy beds. Some kind of limbo between comforting, sweet and warm… if they were even scents…
'That was nice,' I murmured stupidly. I blinked, blushed and looked down - again. Moron, the little cynic in the back of my brain spat.
'I agree,' Christian chuckled - his soft, silky laugh made me look up again, only to find his blue eyes still trained intently on me. 'That was very nice.'
'Uh-huh…' I squeaked. 'Yeah.'
'In fact…' Christian's eyes twinkled mischievously. 'I almost want to try it again.'
'I wouldn't stop you.' The words came out of my mouth before the filter in my brain could activate - my inner cynic face-palmed.
'Oh, really?'
Christian leaned forward and kissed my again - even deeper his time, I could feel the soft, slick inside of his lips. He began to draw back, almost as if he were breaking our lips apart again, but his hands, grasping my arms, pulled me forward as he carefully stepped back, leading me to his ruffled bed.
My heart skipped about five beats, then started up again in rapid-fire. He spun me around, so that the back of my legs were pressed against his mattress, and lightly pushed me back. My body was momentarily weightless as I fell backwards, the rumpled sheets catching me in their embrace. I was lying on my back, sideways across Christian's bed. From my knees, my legs were dangling over the mattress. My arms were splayed out my my sides. I wasn't quite sure whether or not I was breathing… I took in a sharp gasp as I stared up at Christian, who stood tall above me.
'You look… afraid,' he commented. He sounded heartbroken. 'I'm not going to hurt you.'
I couldn't rip myself from his gaze - but at the same time, I couldn't stand looking at him. I know! I trust you! I wanted to say. Instead, I gulped awkwardly and said, 'I think you'd better close the door.'
Christian's head snapped towards the doorway - which he realised was open. With a jolt, he jogged across the room to shut it quietly. 'Sorry,' he murmured. 'That was… close.' Christian ambled slowly back over towards me, finally stopping in front of my, his knees pressed against my own. He stared down at me; brilliant, blue eyes boring straight into my soul. I realised suddenly; he was waiting for me to make the next move.
Before the cynical part of my brain could object, I lurched up and took a fistful of his t-shirt in both my hands. Christian grinned like a madman as I fell back onto the bed, pulling him down with me; his legs hit the bed on either side of me as I went down, his arms stretched forward until he was on his hands and knees as I lay, vulnerable, underneath him. I could clearly hear my own rapid, shallow breathing - my chest was rising and falling as I gazed up at Christian, his hair falling straight down, almost covering his face.
Suddenly, he lurched forward and pressed his lips to mine. I hooked my arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into me as his arms bent, as he got closer. His soft lips coxed mine open, his tongue suddenly darted through his mouth and into mine as he spread my lips and kissed me deeper… Holy shit…
A sharp, loud knock interrupted our kiss - Christian jolted, and shot up about five feet into the air, stumbling backwards until his back was pressed against the wall. I shot up hastily, so I didn't look like I was lying in someone else's bed…
'Come in!' Christian called, sounding slightly more ruffled than usual. He flattened down his shit, nervously combing his fingers in his hair, and I stared down at my shoes and tried to control my blushing, my mind completely and utterly blown.
Mum peeked through the door with a mischievous smile, which made me remember our previous conversation. 'Hello boys,' she said slyly, 'did Nico forget to tell you that it was dinner or were you two just a little… preoccupied?'
'Oh! Um… no!' Christian stuttered, turing scarlet. 'We, uh, just lost track of time and…' Christian trailed off, looking like a fish gasping out of water, the way his mouth opened and shut as he searched desperately for an excuse.
Mum only laughed. 'It's dinnertime! C'mon, you guys must be hungry.'Christian nodded faintly and followed Mum down the hallway as I trailed behind him, still in shock. He kissed me… Christian Matthews kissed me… I thought to myself wanly. He said he liked me! I was obsessing over the tiny details like a girl infatuated with her first crush.
Christian turned around as he approached the lip of the hallway, his blue eyes sparkling and intensely bright. He waited until we fell into step to amble a metre or two into the kitchen, where Chase and Dad were already slurping down their spaghetti bolognese. I claimed the seat directly in front of me, as Christian circled around the table to sit on the seat opposite mine. He grinned at me from across the table, making me drop my gaze and blush once more. Mum set two bowls in front of each of us. 'Dig in, boys,' she commanded.
'Thanks!' Christian cried enthusiastically, as he seized his fork and began twirling the spaghetti around it before shoving it into his mouth. After gaping at him for a moment, I ducked my head to do the same.
A plate clattered down next to me - I glanced up at her, and she grinned down at me as she pulled up the seat besides mine and sunk into it. Hmm… she's being really nice all of a sudden… My suspicions were confirmed as she beamed at me before digging in herself.
'So, Christian,' she began after a moment of silence as the starving family devoured their dinners. 'What's your religious affiliation?'
I attempted to shoot Mum a warning glare when an unplanned, horrified gasp sent me choking on a suspiciously long piece of pasta. I coughed frantically, my eyes tearing up on reflex, as my chest heaved and I tried and failed to breathe normally. Christian stared at me carefully, his body tensing up like any moment he was prepare to jump over the table and perform CPR. Mum beamed expectantly at Christian, ignoring her gagging, asphyxiating son completely.
'Umm…' Christian looked torn between answer my mother and trying to help my struggle for air, which had now moved to a new phase where I began retching as I suffocated. I snatched the glass of water to my left and began chugging it down - once I'd drained the glass, I was finally able to inhale normally. 'Mum,' I rasped, my voice still husky from the ordeal, 'you can't just ask people that!'
Mum rolled her dark eyes and waved away my comment. 'Nonsense. Of course I can. So, Christian, are you a Christian?'
Christian, who was previously busy gawping at me (probably rethinking this supposed crush because of my fabulous display of table manners) blinked at Mum and shot her a cute, lopsided smile. To my horror, my pulse quickened as my face heated up and a blush stained my cheeks. 'I'm not religious,' he confessed.
Mum nodded once. 'Neither are we. Well, you don't exactly see us saying grace, do you?'
'No,' Christian said with a polite smile.
I cringed. 'Mum…' I groaned.
'Just wondering.' She smiled innocently. 'And, Christian, do you think you'll be going to work at your father's company after you finish school?'
Before I had a chance to protest, Christian gave a smooth answer: 'No.'
'No?' Mum seemed shocked as she blinked, frowning. Even Dad leaned forward and emitted a tiresome grunt. 'What… Why? What are you planning then?'
'Well, I just don't want to go into business,' Christian said simply. 'The lifestyle doesn't appeal to me. I'm not a very business-orientated person, honestly, I'm not good at convincing people, I'm not good at manipulating people or even managing people. As for what I want to do, I've been thinking… I want to be a journalist.'
'A journalist?' Mum echoed faintly.
'Well… you are really good at English, man,' Chase piped up uncertainty.
'A hard job,' Dad muttered - I blinked in shock as my dad formed a complete sentence. It was a rare occurrence. 'Ya think you're up for it?'
'Yes,' Christian said with a firm nod. 'That's what I've always wanted. I'm up for it.'
'Mmm…' Dad gave an unsure grunt, but didn't say anything else.
Mum was still staring at Chase in complete awe. 'What does you father have to say about all of this?' she murmured.
'He's…' Christian bit his lip and fixed his gaze on his lap. 'He's not too happy,' he muttered softly.
'Who cares?' I grower before I could stop myself. Christian jerked his head up and stared at me with those bright, blue eyes, and somehow I was compelled to continue. 'It doesn't matter what he wants. It's your life. Don't just chain yourself to a job you'll end up hating… you deserve better than that. You deserve the life you want.'
I had no idea where the heartfelt monologue had come from. The entire table was engulfed in a sickening silence - nobody spoke, nobody ate… were they even breathing? I felt my cheeks grown even hotter as I sunk awkwardly into my chair, willing it to clamp shut like a venus fly trap and swallow me whole.
I was prepared to run screaming from the room when, finally, Christian spoke up. When I caught sight of his eyes, they were glistening as a warm smile spread slowly across his lips. 'Thank you.'
I grinned at the deja vu, as I replied with a shy, 'You're welcome.'
This time, though, I wasn't cold, I wasn't austere.
It hadn't been long - not nearly long enough - but maybe… maybe I was getting better? At least at this whole "social" thing.
I giggled giddily at the thought, holding Christian's gaze in mine.
'Uhh… yeah,' Chase coughed awkwardly and Christian jolted, tearing his gaze from mine. I dropped my eyes safely back down to my lap.
'Sorry, I… um, zoned out there for a moment,' Christian laughed dismissively. I chewed at my lip.
'Whatever. Anyways, I met this chick I know at Coffs today - she's hosting a party at hers tomorrow night and invited us. How 'bout it?' With each word Chase spoke, my heart sunk even further.
There was no way Christian would decline the chance to go to a party… that was just impossible… I guess I'll just have to stay at home alone tomorrow night, my brain instructed practically. I frowned.
'Sounds great!' Christian exclaimed, and my face contorted in an involuntary wince. Suddenly, Christian's head snapped up and he was gazing at me once more. I raised my eyes tentatively to meet his; but the long, black strands of my hair were still concealing my eyes from his vision. 'How about it, Nico?'
'Huh?' I asked after the moment it took me to realised he was addressing me. 'Are you talking to me? You're… inviting me?' My tone was incredulous - so were the expressions on each of my family member's faces.
'Yes,' Christian answered, like it should be obvious. 'You're gonna come too, right?'
'Uhh… I don't… I don't know…' I stuttered awkwardly.
'Can he come?' Christian asked, turning eagerly to Chase, but Chase seemed too in shock it answer. Christian turned to Mum. 'Can Nico come?' he asked again.
'Oh - I - Um, I supposed so… if he wants to…' Mum allowed vaguely, gaping at me. And… great. Now everyone was staring at me. I glared down at my plate.
'So, you're coming, right?' Christian pressed as he shot me an expectant look.
'I don't usually go to parties, you know,' I explained slowly. 'I don't… I don't know if I'll enjoy it… I don't think I'll fit in.'
'It's fine,' Christian replied breezily, 'I'll make sure you have a good time. If you don't like it, I'll take you home myself. I'll watch out for you, Nico.'
Now, everyone was glancing between Christian and I as if they were watching an intense tennis match. I felt myself blushing furiously into my plate.
'Christian… you know, that's nice and all, but… you don't have to babysit my kid brother,' said Chase with an awkward laugh. 'C'mon, it's not your responsibility. Plus, Nico doesn't even want to go… right?'
Now Chase was glaring at me, with one eyebrow raised and a big, fake smile.
'Right,' I muttered.
'It's not a problem,' Christian insisted, and I wondered why he was being to nice to me for about the tenth time in the past 24 hours. 'I want Nico to come. After all, there's a first time for everything, huh? Will this be your first party?'
'Y-yes,' I confessed meekly.
Christian laughed shyly, grinning down at me as I glared down at the wooden table. 'It's settled then - so Nico's coming too.'
'If… if that's what you want, then… okay,' Chase allowed with his blond eyebrows furrowed. 'But I'm sure as hell not babysitting you, Nico,' he added in a guttural growl.
'I never asked you to,' I spat back in a cold whisper.
'Good,' Chase grunted.
'Nobody needs babysitting,' Christian soothed calmly, holding with his hands up and shooting Chase a reassuring smile. 'Don't worry, okay? I asked Nico to come, so if he needs anything, he can come to me. It'll be like he's not even there… if that's what you want.'
'Sure, sure,' Chase muttered, gripping his cutlery with white-knuckled hands.
'Ohhh-kay,' Mum interjected suddenly. She shot Christian a weak smile. 'You guys have fun tomorrow night, then.'
'We will,' Christian promised with one hundred per cent conviction. 'Don't worry about us.'
'Good…' she trailed off, shifting her focus back to the meal in front of her.
Nobody spoke for the rest of the night. They chewed forlornly in the silence that hung heavily in the air. As per usual, I excused myself after dinner as the rest of them ate their sickly-sweet desserts, fleeing to the safety of my bedroom where I collapsed into the rumbled, soft sheets.
About a half an hour passed before Christian peeked through the crack in my door, grinning as he stuck his whole head through, then his whole body. Without waiting for an invitation, Christian stepped through the threshold and into me bedroom, shutting the door softly behind him. I watched him, laying on my side with my back pressed against the cool, concrete wall.
Christian didn't say a word. He simply strode over to my bed and clambered in, shifting his weight until he was laying on his side next to me, his face a mere centimetre from mine.
He smiled. I smiled back.
And that's how we stayed - the stillness only punctures by the rise and fall of our stomaches as we breathed steadily, gazing at each other, our wrists just brushing - until I felt my lids begin to droop and I fought to keep my eyes on the beautiful boy before me.
Christian stood, pulled my sheets over my still body, bent down to graze his lips against mine before he switched the lights off and left me to the darkness.