James doesn't want to forget about Jenna, but he doesn't want to start crying every time he enters his own home. That's why he has to leave Los Angeles. He won't be able to sleep in his own bed or go to the Palm Woods park without think about her. She was his precious girl and he lost her. How can he stay in the town where he met and lost the love of his life? Anyway, he doesn't have the strength to continue Big Time Rush. His depression combined the exhaustion of caring for a newborn baby would definitely cause some problems with the band. He doesn't understand why the guys are quitting, though. If they really tried, they could make it as a trio. They don't need James, do they?
He watches with tears in his eyes as Kendall and Logan say goodbye to their girlfriends. Well, ex girlfriends. After the funeral reception, Logan and Kendall talked to the girls and decided that it would be best if they broke up. There's 1730 miles between Los Angeles and Grand Marais, so there's no way that the two couples could stay together. For them, a long distance relationship is not a happy relationship. Truthfully, James is sad that they're quitting the band and breaking up with their girls just because he's quitting the band.
As of right now, Kenzie is the only good thing in his life. That little girl is the one thing that is preventing him from completely breaking down. He loves his little princess. Okay, so he isn't the best father in the world. At night, he'll get up whenever she needs him. During the day, he mostly lays around and lets someone else take care of her. He can't sleep at night anyway, so Kenzie gives him something to do. Once the daytime comes, he's so exhausted from being up most of the night, so he lets someone else handle his responsibilities. He feels like the worst father in the world, but he adores his baby girl.
He's holding Kenzie so her head is resting on his shoulder. She's finding entertainment in watching her surroundings. She's a very curious little girl, always watching what goes on around her. James may be hurting, but he loves having Kenzie in his life. He was afraid that she wouldn't like him, but she loves her daddy. Well, he thinks she loves him.
"Bye, Jay." Camille says, giving him a hug.
"Bye." James says softly, wrapping his free arm around her. He looks at Lacey, who isn't talking to anyone. She was Jenna's best friend and James is incredibly worried about her. She didn't talk to anyone at the reception yesterday, except for Gabby. Like James, she's taking Jenna's death pretty hard. Gabby said that she actually failed her History test on Wednesday, even though History is normally one of her better subjects. She doesn't seem to care about anything anymore. James hopes that she'll get better eventually.
"We'll miss you guys." Jo tells them.
They all wave at their friends before walking out to the limo. James looks up at the Palm Woods with tears in his eyes, then he climbs into the vehicle.
"Hon, I want you, Kenzie, and Chris to live with me until you find your own place." Brooke says, while holding Kenzie. James nods and rests his head on her shoulder. Brooke looks at him with concern. Why can't he just talk to people? When people ask him a question, he either shrugs, nods, or shakes his head. He might mutter an occasional "okay" or "whatever," but he doesn't say much. She doesn't know how she can help him, but it looks pretty hopeless. Even when they try, their attempts are unsuccessful.
"We're about to land." She says, making another attempt at getting him to talk. James nods again, closing his eyes. Brooke sighs and kisses her son's forehead, looking at her granddaughter. Kenzie's eyes are open and she's waving her little arms. She looks at James, making some adorable squeaking sound. James takes her into his arms, kissing her forehead.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts." The pilot announces. "We will be landing in Minneapolis shortly."
James sighs and kisses Kenzie's cheek, feeling thoughts of Jenna come into his mind. He's holding their daughter and Jenna isn't here to enjoy it with him. She was so excited about this baby and childbirth ended up killing her. He wouldn't trade his baby girl for anything, but he would give anything else if he could have Jenna back. He'll break his lucky comb if he has to. Anything to have Jenna back in his arms.
He sniffles and looks out the window, his eyes widening when he sees a familiar figure in the clouds. He gasps as the figure becomes more clear. Jenna, wearing a beautiful white dress, is staring at him with a gentle smile on her face. She mouths "I love you," causing tears to fall from James's eyes. As the plane starts speeding downward, she fades away.
"Jenna!" He cries out. "Jenna, don't go!"
Brooke notices that he's having a meltdown, but she can't do anything until they land. She watches in despair as James rests his forehead against the glass window and sobs. She's silently begging for the plane to hurry up and land, so she can comfort her baby boy. She can't stand to see him like this and she's desperate to hand Kenzie over to someone else for a moment, so she can give her son a hug.
Finally, the plane speeds down the runaway and comes to a stop. She looks at Chris, who unbuckles her seatbelt and walks over to them, taking Kenzie from Brooke's arm. Brooke carefully pulls James away from the window and into her arms, letting him cry into her shoulder. She kisses the top of his head and rubs his back, flinching his cries become louder.
"James?" Logan asks worried. He, Kendall, and Carlos kneel by Brooke's seat, reaching out to James.
"Bud, what got you so upset?" Kendall asks worriedly.
"I saw her!" James sobs.
"Who?" Carlos asks him.
"Jenna!" James cries. "She was right outside the window! She told me that she loves me!"
Kendall, Carlos, Logan, and Brooke all look at each other with tearful eyes.
"She does love you, buddy." Kendall says, squeezing James's shoulder.
"How can she?" James whimpers. "Because of me, she has no future! She's never gonna get to enjoy being a mother, she's never gonna finish college or become a school counselor, she's never gonna do anything!"
"James, how can you say that?" Logan asks him.
"If she had never met me, she would still be alive!" James says weakly, pulling away from his mom's embrace. He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself.
"Jay, it's not your fault." Brooke says gently. "You shouldn't have any regrets about her meeting you. I know that you enjoyed every minute that you got to spend with her. You two were so happy together. If Jenna had never went to that meet and greet, those memories that you made with her would have never happened. I know that thsoe memories are special to you."
"Let's get off this plane." Kendall says, grabbing Kenzie's carrier. James nods and stands up, wiping his tears away. He follows them off the plane and realizes how weird it feels to be back in Minnesota. They have to drive four hours to get to Grand Marais. There's only a small part of him that is happy to be here. The biggest part of him misses Los Angeles and all of the friends he made. It would have been too painful for him to stay, though. Eventually, he might visit LA, but he needs to get away from it for a while.
"Let's go, Jay." Chris tells him. James takes Kenzie's carrier from Kendall, who quietly tells him that they'll meet up at his mom's house.
Jo looks at the latest issue of US Weekly with tears in her eyes. There are two articles that are really getting to her. One is very heartbreaking and the other is just...Well, Jo doesn't even know. Many gossip websites, magazines, and news channels are talking about Jenna's death and the disbanding of Big Time Rush. Most of them got the facts pretty accurate, but some say things that aren't even true. But Jo secretly loves reading US Weekly, so she buys every new issue that comes out. The one she's reading right now? It's definitely her least favorite.
First of all, Jenna's death and the "Big Time Band Breakup" made front page news. It's talking about what happened to Jenna (Lost too much blood while giving birth to her daughter, MacKenzie Elizabeth Diamond) and James's depression and how he quickly made the decision to leave Big Time Rush, prompting the group's disbandment. At the bottom of the article's first page, they have comments from other celebrities, giving their apologies to James and the Harper family. Jo hates reading articles like this, so she quickly turns the page.
The other article is announcing that the fifth (current) season of New Town High will be its last. Ugh, Jo was hoping that they would invite her back for season six. She was only on the show for two seasons before she left to film the Chauncey Jackson trilogy. She didn't get to spend as much time on New Town High as she would have liked.
"I AM SO SICK OF IT!"
Jo jumps with shock, quickly putting her magazine down. She gets off her bed and walks into the living room, seeing Lucy standing there. She frowns in confusion when she notices how angry her friend looks. Lucy seriously looks like she wants to punch someone. Jo wouldn't be surprised if she did.
"What's wrong?" She asks slowly.
"They want me to sing that stupid pop garbage that I hate and when I refused, they fired me!" Lucy snaps. "They wrote this horrible pop song that I couldn't stand hearing and I told them that I wasn't going to sing that, so they were all "Well, you're fired." Then I told them where they could put their stupid song and they got security to throw me out."
"You'll find another record company." Jo says softly, sitting on the couch.
"What with you?" Lucy asks, sitting next to her.
"I miss Jenna and the guys." Jo tells her. "And I found out that New Town High is in it's last season."
"Sorry about that." Lucy sighs.
"Why did everything get so screwed up?" Jo asks tearfully. "I mean, everything was going great until Jenna died. It feels like I'm losing everything I care about."
It may sound like she's being dramatic, but it's not like she can help it. One of her closest friends is dead, her boyfriend moved back home, and her old TV show is ending. What is she gonna do? She doesn't want to end up being one of those actresses that had one or two successful projects before their career went downhill. She wants to be a successful actresses. She wants to do movies, TV shows, theater, and maybe even music. She wants to continue getting invited to the hottest parties and all that good stuff. She doesn't want to lose her career.
"You'll get another show." Lucy tells her. "In fact, I heard that there's gonna be auditions for a new soap opera. You're a big fan of soaps, right?"
"Yeah." Jo nods. "Wait, how do you know about the auditions?"
"My manager insists that I should jumpstart my acting career, but I just want to be a musician." Lucy tells her.
"Maybe I will audition." Jo smiles.
"Good choice."
"I've got a surprise for you." Brooke says as she and James enter her home. "You'll love it."
"Grandma's got a surprise for me." James says as he kisses Kenzie's cheek, following his mom up the stairs. Downstairs, he can hear the guys, Ms Knight, and Katie entering the house. He follows his mom down the hallway until they stop at the extra room that she had never gotten around to fixing up. For the few years that she has lived here, she always left this one room empty. She said that she wanted to use it for storage.
"Surprise!" Brooke says, pushing the door open. James's eyes fill with tears when he enters the room. The extra room has been remodeled into a nursery for Kenzie. There's even a crib with MacKenzie written on the side. James feels touched by the kind gesture. Chris said that she's gonna look for a place for just the three of them, but this will definitely work until they find their own place.
"Mom." James says, his voice cracking.
"Since you're gonna be staying here for a little while, I want Kenzie to have a nice place to sleep." Brooke says, taking her granddaughter into her arms. "This is a nursery made for a princess. It's perfect for her."
"Yeah." James agrees, wiping his eyes.
"In fact, she looks tired, so we should let her take a nap." Brooke says, putting Kenzie in the crib. She turns the adorable mobile on, letting the soft music lull her to sleep. She hears footsteps walking past her and when she turns around, James is sitting in the rocking chair. He doesn't even look like a twenty one year old. Well, he does look his age, but there's something about him that makes the boy look so much older than he really is. Brooke hates that her son has to be a single parent, but he'll just have to do the best that he can. He has plenty of people supporting him.
"Honey, why don't you smile anymore?" She asks, kneeling in front of him.
"I don't feel like it." James says tiredly.
"You don't even smile when you're holding Kenzie." Brooke tells him. "She can usually make anyone smile."
"Mom, I can't smile when-" James isn't able to finish the sentence. He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a shaky breath. He finds himself being pulled into a hug. He feels like such an aweful person. His mom is worried sick about him. He knows that, but he can't even find the strength to fake happiness. If he had the strength, he would gladly fake happiness for the sake of his loved ones. He doesn't mean to worry anyone.
"I'm sorry that you're in so much pain, honey." Brooke says, rubbing his back.
"Please don't worry about it." James whispers.
In the doorway, his friends are watching him with hurt in their eyes. They look at each other, hoping that someone might have explanation for why their friend is falling apart. But no one has an answer. James is broken and no one can do anything for him. Then they come to another realization. They can't stand to see him hurt and they know that he's not gonna get better overnight. Are they suppose to stand here and watch him struggle? They can't do it. This past week has been hurting them more than anyone realizes. They can no longer stand to see James sinking farther into his depression.
Slowly, they turn around and walk down the stairs.
"Chris, all of the suitcases are unpacked." Kendall says.
"Okay! Are you guys gonna stay for a while?" Chris asks them.
"Um, we're actually gonna go back to our places." Logan says politely. "You know, get our own stuff unpacked."
"Maybe we'll come back tomorrow!" Carlos says before quickly following his friends out the door.
Chris watches the door as it closes, feeling a bit of concern for the boys, but quickly pushing the feeling aside. She's already worried enough as it is and she really doesn't need anymore stress. She's worried about James, she's worried about Kenzie, she's worried about her parents, she's worried about everything, but she's trying to avoid getting too stressed out. Frankly, she feels a headache coming on. When is life gonna start improving?